Author's note: So, here it is, the sequel to my other story, "Only the Stars Were Watching." If you have not read that one, I suggest you read it before you start with this one, many things won't make sense otherwise since this is an AU fic that tells the story of Kíli and Tauriel beyond BOTFA.

As the title might suggest, this is not going to be a happy fic - at least not at all times. The road that I have planned for Kíli and Tauriel will be a rocky one and I am pretty sure that some of you will hate me at some points, but I promise that amongst the angst and the emotional drama there will also be plenty of fluff and nice moments.

That being said, this first chapter is a pretty intense one. But I felt that I needed to start exactly at this point and map out one of the central conflicts of this story right away. I hope you enjoy it despite some of its darkness.

Updates will most likely occur on Sundays, although there might be some stray chapters posted during the week if my writing process goes well.

Rating: M

Disclaimer: The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings or any of it's characters do not belong to me.

Starless Skies

Chapter I

Tauriel watched as a multitude of shadows danced across her closed eyelids, creating patterns and shapes only to be disrupted again right away, every attempt at structure only lasting for a split second. She was dimly aware of the gentle breeze blowing across the lands, making the trees above her sway slightly, producing the flickering patterns she was currently so fascinated with. The sun was warming her skin pleasantly, making it easy to forget the hardships of winter.

She marveled at the fact that the mind would do such a thing, that it was not difficult at all to simply pretend that everything was fine once one had conquered the challenges that the harsher seasons posed. To pretend that one was safe and sound, even though, logically, one knew that winter would be back eventually. As would the dangers and the darkness that came with it.

Tauriel sighed inwardly, willing those other thoughts that her musings brought with them to go away and leave her in peace, to allow her not to worry at least for a little while. However, she soon found that her mind would not rest anymore, that the pleasant, dream-like lull she had been drifting in and out of before was now out of her reach.

Reluctantly opening her eyes, she turned her head to the side slightly to find Kíli lying next to her on his side, his head propped up on his elbow, his eyes fixed on her flat stomach.

Tauriel let her head fall back onto the soft, mossy ground in exasperation. "Stop that," she said, a trace of annoyance making its way into her voice. His eyes flickered from her abdomen to her face at that and she felt her throat tighten when she saw a lingering sadness in his gaze. He was hurting and it was her fault that he did. In her heart she wanted nothing more than to make that hurt go away and yet, every time she opened her mouth these days, it seemed to be only to brush him off, every time she reached out to him, she seemed to end up pushing him away instead. As she was doing now. "I do not know what you are expecting to see there anyway," she muttered, rolling onto her side, away from him.

Behind her she could sense him looking at her, words forming on his tongue that she half dreaded him to speak and half begged him to get out in the open, to force her to stop blocking him out. But he swallowed those words down, trying, as always, to be gentle with her, to not push her, when she so obviously signaled that she did not want to be pushed. "It will be dark soon," he said resignedly after a few seconds and she could hear him getting to his feet. "I will set up camp."

With every step that he took away from her, Tauriel felt her heart clench a little, but still she pursed her lips and maintained a stubborn silence. Oh, it had been so easy when the hobbit and the wizard had still been with them, Bilbo happily chatting away most of the time, making it difficult to find an opportunity to have this conversation that she knew they needed to have, that she sensed Kíli was anxiously waiting for ever since they had said their goodbyes to those they had left behind at Erebor. But time after time she had found ways and means to put it off a little longer, telling herself that she needed more time to gather her thoughts on what Dís had implied in her parting words.

'Take good care of yourself, Tauriel. And of my grandchild.'

However, as the weeks had passed, winter making way for spring, Tauriel had begun to convince herself that there was no truth to the dwarf woman's words, that there had merely been some kind of misunderstanding. Because, after all, she was feeling the same she always had, was she not? Surely she would feel different if she truly carried Dís' grandchild inside of her. Kíli's child. No, it could not be true indeed. She – a mother. Mother to the child of an elf and a dwarf. The mere thought was ludicrous. And so she had refused to allow that topic to be discussed, simply pretending it did not exist.

This had, however, become increasingly more difficult once their little company of four had parted ways outside of Imladris several days hence, Bilbo and Gandalf joining Elrond and his elves for an indefinite period of time while Kíli and Tauriel made their way south. And somehow, against her will, Tauriel had found herself forced to revert from distracting Kíli with smiles and affection, as she had done previously, to outright refusing to speak with him, turning her back when he, genuinely concerned for her and her well-being, had tried to approach her. And she despised herself for acting this way, despised herself for causing a rift between the two of them when, finally, they were allowed to be with each other, to be happy.

But as things were, she simply could not help herself. Her mind refused to accept any of those most recent developments in her life and even now, lying beneath the trees in the setting sun, she told herself that it was all nonsense, that it could not be true that a small life was growing inside of her.

As if in direct defiance of her thoughts, she felt a tiny flutter against the inside of her belly. Her hands raised themselves of their own volition to protectively cover her stomach and she whimpered in frustration when she became aware of what she was doing, forcing herself to drop her arms again immediately.

Sitting up, Tauriel pressed her palms to her temples, trying to stop the thoughts from whirling around inside of her head. She was not ready for this and she did not want to think about it anymore until she was. Not that she was sure she would ever be. Exhaling deeply, she looked up just in time to see Kíli glare at her before dropping a pile of wood at the bottom of the small hill she was still sitting on, whirling around to stomp towards her, a look of grim determination on his face.

She flinched slightly when he reached her, dropping to his knees right in front of her, pulling her hands away from her face. He brought his face quite close to hers as he leaned forward, his dark eyes locking onto hers in a burning gaze. Instinctively, Tauriel tried to pull away, surprised by the abruptness of his actions, but he would not let her move and instead yanked her a little closers still, his hands firmly wrapped around her wrists.

From the roughness of his touch, Tauriel expected him to sound angry when he spoke, but as he did his voice was merely filled with anguish and longing. "I am done," he said. "I am done watching you make yourself miserable. Stop pushing me away, Tauriel, when I am the only one who understands what it is you are going through. Have you ever stopped to think that you are not the only one out of the two of us who finds themselves quite overwhelmed by this whole situation?"

Despite the way his words touched her heart, Tauriel felt another cold remark form on her lips, but this time she swallowed it back down when he looked at her with such tenderness, his gaze burning its way through all the barriers she had so carefully constructed in and around herself. She searched inside of herself for any residues of anger, for a way and a reason to shut him out in order to prevent what, deep down, she knew was the truth from becoming real at last. But all she felt when she looked at him was a bottomless need to be held by him, to find comfort in the love that somewhere between here and Bard's house in Laketown where he had first touched her, shyly, lightly, had grown so unbelievably firm, so strong.

Surprising both Kíli and herself, she allowed her body to fall forward, pressing her face into the crook of his neck in an attempt to shut the world out for a moment, giving into what her heart was screaming at her for once. Shivering against him, she let out a shaky breath when she felt him wrap his arms around her body after a split second of hesitation, drawing her firmly against himself.

"I am sorry," she heard herself whisper, trying to keep the tears that she had been wanting to shed for so many days now at bay. From the rise of his chest she could tell that he was about to speak, but she quickly silenced whatever it was that he had been about to say by pressing her lips to his because she knew that if they started this discussion now, she would fall apart.

When she drew away, they stared at each other for a long moment and Tauriel thought that Kíli might still try to get her to talk, but instead he cupped her face in his palms and pulled her back towards him, kissing her deeply, hungrily.

Tauriel wondered how she could have been so foolish to make herself keep her distance to him, how she had survived even a day without feeling his skin beneath her fingers and her lips, without his taste on her tongue. Allowing herself to be completely enveloped by his touch, she found that right here in his arms she could find the escape from everything that had been troubling her – how had she not seen this?

Now that she was finally back in his arms it seemed that she could not get close enough to him and so she happily complied when he pulled her onto his lap, his hands sliding under the back of her tunic, pressing her even closer against him.

Eagerly Tauriel tugged at Kíli's clothing, succeeding in unlacing his shirt to reveal his broad chest. Her hands flew to her own bodice, but were stilled by his rough hands covering hers. He broke their kiss and she wanted to protest, to continue what they had started, but when he slipped his arms around her body once more and drew her against him, the comfort of his embrace made her lower her head to rest it on his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his neck. And just like that something inside her broke.

Kíli held her close as the tears rolled down her cheeks, silent sobs wrecking her body. He held her until long after her tears had stopped and her breathing had calmed, his hands slowly stroking her back. When she felt reasonably sure that she would not break down again right away, she pulled back, smiling at him a little sheepishly. "I'm sorry," she said again.

Kíli raised a hand to brush a strand of hair from her face. "There is no reason to be. I have seen you at your best and at your worst, remember?"

She shook her head. "No. I meant I am sorry for everything. The way that I behaved. I was wrong to push you away, you never gave me a reason to do so."

He smiled a little sadly at that and from the look in his eyes Tauriel realized how much she had actually hurt him, which made fresh tears burn in her eyes. It seemed that nowadays she constantly found herself on the verge of tears, something which she would have frowned upon in fellow elves a mere year ago.

Upon seeing her eyes well up again, Kíli pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Don't worry, my love. As long as I can hold you in my arms now, everything is fine. We have been through worse storms, have we not?"

Tauriel smiled a little at his sweet words. They had come so far. Maybe it was time for her to move on from that state of paralyzed shock she had found herself in those past few days and embrace this new stage of their life together. Even if that meant having to deal with the things that terrified her most. But not tonight. Tonight, all she wanted to do was curl up in Kíli's arms, absorb the heat of his skin into hers, hold him, breathe him in.

As if reading her thoughts, Kíli pressed a lingering kiss to her lips before gently pushing her off himself in order for him to be able to get up from the ground. "Let me finish building that fire. Then we can rest," he said, nodding towards the pile of wood he had dropped earlier. Tauriel wanted to protest, wanted to stay where they were right now, but she also saw the reason in his words. The nights could still be quite cold, the warmth of the sun during the day often treacherous. So she watched a little wistfully as he put his clothes back in order, retying the lacing of his shirt. He caught her gaze and winked at her. "By all means, feel free to take them off of me again later." She blushed a little and laughed lightly, marveling at the way he could go from serious to playful in a matter of seconds.

As she followed him down to where he had begun to set up their camp for the night and watched him trying to light the fire, his face concentrated and his stance tense, she thought that despite the appearances he might attempt at, he, too, was worried and more than just a little scared by this new development in their shared life, by this new factor that might decide their future. And she swore to herself that, even if she was not ready to confront her fears yet, she would not shut him out anymore. They would see this through together, as they had done when they had escaped from Thranduil's halls, as they had done when Thorin had tried to find a way to tear them apart. In the end, it had all turned out well, hadn't it? So she would simply have to hope that this time it would be the same. Even if, right now, she was unable to see beyond the darkness that seemed to threaten to overtake her at every step she took.