"I'm home!" Delphine said, "I bought some stuff for dinner on the way home. How does pasta sound?" Delphine steps into the apartment, carrying a full brown paper bag cradled in her arm. The sound of music drifts from Cosima's office. Delphines shoulders sag, she is sore and tired from a long day and just wants to be held, melting into Cosima's small arms and sinking into her warmth. The sounds of an empty apartment meets her in place of her usual greeting when she gets home.
Delphine furrows her eyebrows slightly. "Chérie?" she calls, wondering why she didn't at least say hello, let alone come out of whatever work-induced haze Cosima was in and give her a jangly wave. She hears a strange noise from the end of the hallway, one that she can't quite place. She considers leaving her be, but there's a twist in her gut and besides, she wants to see her love.
Walking with a click click click of her heels against the hardwood floor, in Seven simple strides she's at the slightly ajar door. "Cos? Are you in there?" She nudges the door open, expecting to see the familiar sight of her small frame hunched over her laptop, face resting on the keyboard and slightly snoring. She grins to herself, she fully opens the door and enters the room.
Something is wrong, something is so very off.
A loud thud and crumpling of the paper bag is followed by a mix of a cry and a wail that claws it's way out of Delphine's throat. Delphine rushes to Cosima, who is shaking on the floor and is staining the carpet with blood there is blood coming from her mouth as she trembles on the floor, eyes glassed over and partly lidded.
BloodbloodbloodbloodCosimaisbleedingdosomething is all Delphine's brain can think as Delphine's knees hit the ground with a sharp thud and she scoops Cosima's torso into her trembling arms.
"Cosima!" she shouts, to no answer. Frantically glancing around the room, she sees her phone which had dropped out of her hands. She reaches desperately with one hand, the other grasping at the nape of Cosima's neck, fingertips trembling.
Her fingers do not stop trembling as she dials 911, or when the paramedics arrive in their apartment, or when she is in the ambulance. Her body shakes, the crisp air is biting , cold even for Toronto, but she is wearing a down coat with two layers underneath. She is not shivering because of the cold.
It is not until Cosima, dried blood caking her shirt collar and smeared on her cheek, is taken into Emergency that Delphine sits in a steel chair and cries. Sitting on the hard, cold metal she feels hot pricks at her eyes as a lump rises in her throat. She tries to muffle it, keep herself in check at first. But the image of Cosima shaking in her arms, Cosima's blank eyes staring through her, Cosima's favourite sweater permanently dyed red paint the insides of her eyelids and finally she is wracked with sobs. Her face contorts as she let's her body crumple in on itself.
Delphine heaves air into her aching lungs, only to choke on her own sobs, pulling at her curls with shaky hands. She scratches her own scalp, yanking tightly on her hair as her lip trembles. Her throat pulses in pain her makeup is sure to be a wreck and her sleeve is wet from trying to dry her face, a futile effort. Delphine is overcome with a numbing wave of exhaustion and weighing her bones down within her limbs. She curls up as best she can, bringing her knees to hug her chest,, counting and steadying her breathing. Her body aches from crying and worrying and crying and worrying and she is so tired
"Ms. Cormier?" Delphine whips her head up at the sound of her name, her eyes cracking open and looking blearily around the room for the source. A man in blue scrubs and thin frame glasses looks expectantly at her. She wipes the corners of her eyes viciously, sniffing as she unfolds from the chair. Her joints are stiff and her muscles ache from dozing in such an awful position.
"Y-yes that's ah... that's me." Her voice is hoarse and cracks, her throat still sore from crying and sluggish from her impromptu blackout in the waiting room.
"Cosima is stable now, she's just woken up. Would you like to see her?" he asks her, glancing at the clipboard in his hands.
"Yes! Yes, please. Is she okay? What happened?" a stream of questions flow from Delphine's chapped lips.
"The doctor can explain better than I can, he'll be here shortly. I'll explain on the way." Delphine nods and gathers her coat in her arms before following the young man with the name tag "Colin" into the hallway.
"Cosima has suffered from a seizure," he says. Delphine's throat tightens as she rubs her own arms, the lingering tremors she held Cosima through still ghosting her own skin. Delphine is not a stupid woman, she know that seizures do not cause trickles of blood to seep from your mouth, so she waits for Colin to expand. "She uh- she also has some sort of respiratory-uh...problem," he says, "which probably triggered the seizure in the first place or vise versa. She's scheduled to stay here for a bit to do some basic tests. We're running diagnostic tests right now with some of the blood too see if we can pinpoint it." Her throat catches as her head screams bloodbloodblood and Delphine cringes at the word like a sharp pinch to her skin. She feels numb.
"Here we are"
Cosima is lying on white hospital sheets in a white hospital gown in a white hospital room with white hospital floor tiles.. Delphine notes the stark contrast with their colourful home with the burgundy sheets, the green mugs, the stained glass artwork and Cosima's eclectic wardrobe strewn across the floor. Cosima does not belong here, she is too colourful to be caged in this monochromatic room. The room is silent, save for Cosima's gentle breathing and the steady beeping of her heart monitor. Yet it is too loud for Delphine's ears. Delphine shuffles over towards the bed, throwing a weary "Thanks" over her shoulder at Colin.
She sits in the chair that is adjacent to Cosima's bed, and observes her love. She looks pale, her usually tan pigment closer to Delphine's own milky complexion than it's ever been. She has a cannula snugly tucked in her nostrils, which leads to a quiet oxygen flow by the side of her bed.
An IV leads to her forearm, where Delphine does not look for long. It is invading Cosima's body, Delphine's stomach twists at the thought. She is a doctor, she has inserted IVs and needles into countless individuals, but this is different. This is Cosima. This particular needle means Cosima is sick and it makes Delphine's chest tighten with unease and worry.
She looks at her face, with her closed eyes. Her cheek and jaw are blood free now, but her lips are still faintly tinged red. Delphine feels a lump in her throat again and fights the blurriness that distorts her vision.
She stifles a small cry, and Cosima's eyes flutter open gently at the sound. "Hey" she croaks, her voice weak but her tone loving. She cracks a smile at Delphine, who in turn screws her face into a grimace and tries not to cry. Not here in front of Cosima, one of us needs to be strong.
"Hey, Del, it's okay. Shh it's okay." Cosima quietly croaks as she reaches for Delphine's hand, distressed to see her cry. Their fingers intertwine, Delphine's long elegant and still trembling fingers, a glaring contrast against Cosima's strong and bejewelled ones. Delphine stares at their hands for what feels like hours, absently stroking her thumb over Cosima's, feeling her own fingers shake less and less with every minute she touches her. She can feel her back loosen and her throat relax just being in contact with her again.
I could not lose you, Delphine thinks.
"I couldn't either." Cosima whispers so faint and tender it fills her chest with the first steady breath in hours. Delphinesmiles ever-so-faintly at Cosima, basking in the smile she receives in return. Delphine leans out of the chair to press a gentle kiss to Cosima's forehead, Cosima's eyes sliding shut and a dopey smile plastered to her face.
"Je t'aime, mon amour" she whispers, her face moving to press into the side of Cosima's neck.
"I love you too, Del" Cosima says even quieter, before turning her head and brushing her lips gently against Delphine's. Delphine lightly presses forward, kissing Cosima fully. It is tender and gentle, soft and sweet, and Delphine wishes it never end.
However, it must, because Cosima needs air and so does Delphine (who would never admit it). They stay still, hands still joined, doing nothing but existing in harmony.
AN: Help Me - Low Roar lyrics for the chapter title. Now edited (and will be from now on) by Smurfinablender!