Title: Forever
Chapter: Chapter One of Three
Author: Queen Akasha
Rating: PG
Summary: Buffy and Spike after many years together. The season six ending DID NOT happen – he has no soul. (OK, so then I'm Alternate Universe.)
Disclaimer: When I was much younger, I used to love Donny Osmond. Neither Donny nor Spike belongs to me. (My therapist makes me say these things. I know they're not true.) (ps- Spike is SOOOO much hotter than that goody-two shoes Donny, isn't he?) (And does the Donny Osmond thing give away my age????)
Spoilers: I dunno any more. Lets just say whatever has happened on the show so far. I can't think further than that.
Distribution: Sure. You know you WAAAA- NA!!
"You're a good boy, taking care of your grandma like this." The pretty nurse handed over the wheelchair, making eyes at the handsome man receiving it. No wedding ring, she noted. "Take her right home, now," she advised, smiling and licking her lips seductively. He was so incredibly good looking, with brilliant blue eyes and long, brown, wavy hair. "If you have any problems, please call me directly. Here's my number," she added, pressing a card into his palm. "My home number's on there too, just in case……."
The small grey-haired lady in the wheelchair covered her mouth, as if hiding a smile. "Right," the handsome man said, pocketing the card. "We'll be fine, thanks, ducks." He winked, and pushed the chair outside, into the evening gloom. The nurse watched him go, admiring the shape of his tight butt in his designer slacks, and the way his broad shoulders filled out his wool sweater. She really hoped he'd call.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Wow, Spike, that one had it bad," Buffy laughed on the way to the car.
"Can I help it if women find me irresistible?" Spike grinned back at her. He was feeling good. He was taking his woman back home. He stopped pushing and leaned down to give her a lingering kiss. "You're a lucky girl," he teased, "having a bloke like me all to yourself."
She sighed, gazing into his sapphire eyes. "I agree, honey. I am lucky to have you. Who else would put up with an old biddy like me?"
Spike dropped to a crouch in front of her, meeting her eyes with his own. He spoke seriously. "I'll have you know, my darling, that I'm a great deal older than you, and a great deal luckier than you. I'm in love with the most beautiful woman in the world, and she loves me back. You know without you I'm nothing."
Buffy smiled. "Honey, don't go getting all serious on me. I was only joking. We're both lucky to have found each other. And, hey, we've been lucky to have so much time together. Pretty soon will be our seventy fifth "anniversary".
Buffy was ninety seven years old.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"How come YOU get to pick our anniversary date?" Spike complained.
"Well, honey, I chose the date when I finally realized that I loved you," she answered, all comfortable in their bed, where Spike had settled her when they got home.
"Well, I think that it should be longer, 'cause I loved you first," he grumped.
"Spike," she smiled gently, treating him as the permanent adolescent that he was, "I don't know if that's true. You may have realized it first, but I think I loved you WAY before I admitted it. You remember when Willow made us think we were engaged?" she asked.
He nodded.
"When I touched you," she continued, "it was if I was complete. When she ended the spell, and I realized that it was YOU, my mortal enemy, I knew I should feel loathing and anger. Yet I only felt empty, because I couldn't touch you any more. I knew no-one would understand, so I pretended disgust. I wasted so much time," she reached up to touch his face, and he sank down on the bed beside her.
"Buffy, nothing is a waste. We've had so many good years together, and we'll have lots more," he said, dipping down his head for a kiss. "We always belonged together."
Buffy wrapped her arms around him. Despite how long they had been together, he was still amazed at her strength. "Spike, my love, we have had many, many great years together. But I wanted to talk to you about the future."
"What about our future, Slayer," he asked. She smiled. He hadn't called her Slayer in a long time.
"Well, honey, it's more about your future than our future. Doctor Michaels talked to me before he let me check out of the hospital. These fainting episodes I've been having, well, Spike," she reached out and held his face between both her hands, looking straight into his eyes, "I'm just worn out. My body. I won't live forever, you know."
Spike stood up in panic. "Buffy, you were the Slayer. You're strong and amazing and you're my girl. You have healing powers up the wazoo." She smiled. "I need you. I can't go on alone."
"Spike, honey, it's not gonna be today, maybe not for a while yet, but, God. How old does a person wanna be? There's nothing we can do about it, you know," she finished.
"Bloody hell," he swore, lapsing back into old habits. She saw him fumble on the nightstand for cigarettes that hadn't been there for over fifty years. He ran a hand through his hair, haloing it around his face. "You KNOW there's something we can do about it."
Buffy reached out and took his hands, stopping them in their blind search for non-existent smokes. "Honey," she said gently, "we've gone over that before. I won't let you turn me. It's just not an option. I want a promise from you," she wheedled, tugging him down to sit beside her on the bed.
He looked away, not meeting her eyes, but she could see the shine of tears in his.
"Spike, I want you to go on. I want to die knowing that you're still in the world, carrying on the work that we started together. I need you to promise me that," she said earnestly, watching his face.
He sighed, still not looking at her. "Buffy, you're asking too much of me. I can't do this alone."
"You can and you will," she stated forcefully, releasing his hands in favour of his face, and turning his eyes to hers. "You lived a long time without me and you can do it again. I know you. You're stronger than you think. Besides, our work is too important and you know it."
He nodded without answering, and she knew that was the closest he was going to get to a promise, so she decided to be satisfied.
"You know I love you with my whole heart and soul," she said, stroking his cheek. "I wish there was some way we could have been together forever, just you and me, normal people, having a family, raising our kids."
Spike winced. If there was the one sore subject in their relationship, it was children. He had often felt guilt about denying Buffy the possibility of having babies. She had assured him often enough that it didn't matter to her; that being the slayer precluded the raising of a family; that he was more than childish enough for her. But he had seen her face over the years when everyone around her was having children, and then grandchildren. She loved the little ones, having them over to visit as often as she could. Although Dawn had been gone for over ten years now, her grandchildren still stopped in to see Auntie Buffy, and Dawn's oldest granddaughter was pregnant, starting the next generation of Summers'.
Giles, although not celibate, had never married, and had therefore had no children. He'd been gone now for more than thirty years, having vanished on a sailboat in the Bermuda Triangle. His disappearance had actually been part of a documentary on the Discovery Channel. His boat was found adrift, dinner on the table, glass of scotch poured, The Police on the tape deck, but no sign of Giles. Buffy privately thought that he had cooked the whole thing up to become the stuff of legends.
Xander and Anya's large brood had spread out over the world. Xander had fathered six children, and they in turn had also chosen large families. At the last Harris family reunion, while both Xander and Anya were still alive, there were ninety eight family and in-laws attending. Most of the kids kept in touch, even after Xander and Anya had passed away.
Willow, who had chosen to remain single throughout her life, had adopted a baby boy when she was in her late forties. Buffy and Spike had found him during a patrol, his mother a victim of a vampire. He had been attacked himself, and only just saved by Spike at the last minute. Unfortunately, his blood loss had been severe, and he was mentally damaged by the incident. Willow had fallen in love with him at the hospital, and managed to iron out the mountains of paperwork required for a single gay woman over forty five to adopt a baby, especially one whose family was lost. Billy, named for Spike, lived at home with Willow until her death last year. He was currently in a half-way house and doing well – he called and dropped in as often as he could.
Billy had sparked Buffy and Spike's work. Their mission now, since Buffy hadn't actually been the Slayer for many years, was to help children who were victims of supernatural attacks. They had photographs of over two thousand children that they had either rescued from attack and/or placed in a loving home. Their work gave them both an intense feeling of satisfaction.
Buffy could tell that she was making Spike feel bad. "I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean anything bad. Just wishful thinking. You know we're the last ones," she added.
He nodded. He knew what she meant. All the Scoobies were gone now, except for Buffy and Spike. And he couldn't bear the thought of being the last one, alone, without her. She was his life, his light, his love. He truly felt that he was nothing without her. For love of her, he had renounced his evil ways, and had spent the last seventy five years trying to make up for his past deeds. He particularly liked saving the children, as the thing that gave him the most loss of sleep was the memories of the wee ones that he had given to Drusilla to feed upon. He knew that there was no way that he could be cleansed for his sins, but he felt his part in rescuing the innocents was a small step of atonement.
Buffy clapped her hands together. "No more doom and gloom now, mister. Let's talk about something happy, like, where you're taking me for our anniversary. I expect full service – you don't have a seventy – fifth very often."
Spike smiled. "You'll like it, pet."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Almost one year later to the day, they were in the same room, Buffy lying in the same bed, but this time the prognosis was dire. Spike stayed beside her, never leaving her side, while the practical nurse waited in the other room, in case her presence was required.
"Buffy, don't leave me," he sobbed, burying his face in her stomach.
She reached up weakly and smoothed his hair. "You knew this day would come, sweetheart," she said gently. "It's OK, really it is. Be strong for me."
He came up to lay beside her, taking her in his arms, holding her as if he could share his life-force with her and make her live a little longer. He couldn't stop the tears from coursing down his face. He lay with her, cradling her head on his shoulder. She stroked his cheek. "Spike, I love you. I ……….." her eyes opened wide. "Mom? Mommy? What ……………" she took a final breath, and then was still.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"My candle burns at both ends
It will not last the night.
But, ah, my foes, and, oh, my friends,
It gives a lovely light."
Edna St. Vincent Millay
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
TBC
OK, I couldn't write any more, I made myself sad. Don't worry though, the next chapter will make things better. You'll see. Have faith. Don't worry. )
Chapter: Chapter One of Three
Author: Queen Akasha
Rating: PG
Summary: Buffy and Spike after many years together. The season six ending DID NOT happen – he has no soul. (OK, so then I'm Alternate Universe.)
Disclaimer: When I was much younger, I used to love Donny Osmond. Neither Donny nor Spike belongs to me. (My therapist makes me say these things. I know they're not true.) (ps- Spike is SOOOO much hotter than that goody-two shoes Donny, isn't he?) (And does the Donny Osmond thing give away my age????)
Spoilers: I dunno any more. Lets just say whatever has happened on the show so far. I can't think further than that.
Distribution: Sure. You know you WAAAA- NA!!
"You're a good boy, taking care of your grandma like this." The pretty nurse handed over the wheelchair, making eyes at the handsome man receiving it. No wedding ring, she noted. "Take her right home, now," she advised, smiling and licking her lips seductively. He was so incredibly good looking, with brilliant blue eyes and long, brown, wavy hair. "If you have any problems, please call me directly. Here's my number," she added, pressing a card into his palm. "My home number's on there too, just in case……."
The small grey-haired lady in the wheelchair covered her mouth, as if hiding a smile. "Right," the handsome man said, pocketing the card. "We'll be fine, thanks, ducks." He winked, and pushed the chair outside, into the evening gloom. The nurse watched him go, admiring the shape of his tight butt in his designer slacks, and the way his broad shoulders filled out his wool sweater. She really hoped he'd call.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Wow, Spike, that one had it bad," Buffy laughed on the way to the car.
"Can I help it if women find me irresistible?" Spike grinned back at her. He was feeling good. He was taking his woman back home. He stopped pushing and leaned down to give her a lingering kiss. "You're a lucky girl," he teased, "having a bloke like me all to yourself."
She sighed, gazing into his sapphire eyes. "I agree, honey. I am lucky to have you. Who else would put up with an old biddy like me?"
Spike dropped to a crouch in front of her, meeting her eyes with his own. He spoke seriously. "I'll have you know, my darling, that I'm a great deal older than you, and a great deal luckier than you. I'm in love with the most beautiful woman in the world, and she loves me back. You know without you I'm nothing."
Buffy smiled. "Honey, don't go getting all serious on me. I was only joking. We're both lucky to have found each other. And, hey, we've been lucky to have so much time together. Pretty soon will be our seventy fifth "anniversary".
Buffy was ninety seven years old.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"How come YOU get to pick our anniversary date?" Spike complained.
"Well, honey, I chose the date when I finally realized that I loved you," she answered, all comfortable in their bed, where Spike had settled her when they got home.
"Well, I think that it should be longer, 'cause I loved you first," he grumped.
"Spike," she smiled gently, treating him as the permanent adolescent that he was, "I don't know if that's true. You may have realized it first, but I think I loved you WAY before I admitted it. You remember when Willow made us think we were engaged?" she asked.
He nodded.
"When I touched you," she continued, "it was if I was complete. When she ended the spell, and I realized that it was YOU, my mortal enemy, I knew I should feel loathing and anger. Yet I only felt empty, because I couldn't touch you any more. I knew no-one would understand, so I pretended disgust. I wasted so much time," she reached up to touch his face, and he sank down on the bed beside her.
"Buffy, nothing is a waste. We've had so many good years together, and we'll have lots more," he said, dipping down his head for a kiss. "We always belonged together."
Buffy wrapped her arms around him. Despite how long they had been together, he was still amazed at her strength. "Spike, my love, we have had many, many great years together. But I wanted to talk to you about the future."
"What about our future, Slayer," he asked. She smiled. He hadn't called her Slayer in a long time.
"Well, honey, it's more about your future than our future. Doctor Michaels talked to me before he let me check out of the hospital. These fainting episodes I've been having, well, Spike," she reached out and held his face between both her hands, looking straight into his eyes, "I'm just worn out. My body. I won't live forever, you know."
Spike stood up in panic. "Buffy, you were the Slayer. You're strong and amazing and you're my girl. You have healing powers up the wazoo." She smiled. "I need you. I can't go on alone."
"Spike, honey, it's not gonna be today, maybe not for a while yet, but, God. How old does a person wanna be? There's nothing we can do about it, you know," she finished.
"Bloody hell," he swore, lapsing back into old habits. She saw him fumble on the nightstand for cigarettes that hadn't been there for over fifty years. He ran a hand through his hair, haloing it around his face. "You KNOW there's something we can do about it."
Buffy reached out and took his hands, stopping them in their blind search for non-existent smokes. "Honey," she said gently, "we've gone over that before. I won't let you turn me. It's just not an option. I want a promise from you," she wheedled, tugging him down to sit beside her on the bed.
He looked away, not meeting her eyes, but she could see the shine of tears in his.
"Spike, I want you to go on. I want to die knowing that you're still in the world, carrying on the work that we started together. I need you to promise me that," she said earnestly, watching his face.
He sighed, still not looking at her. "Buffy, you're asking too much of me. I can't do this alone."
"You can and you will," she stated forcefully, releasing his hands in favour of his face, and turning his eyes to hers. "You lived a long time without me and you can do it again. I know you. You're stronger than you think. Besides, our work is too important and you know it."
He nodded without answering, and she knew that was the closest he was going to get to a promise, so she decided to be satisfied.
"You know I love you with my whole heart and soul," she said, stroking his cheek. "I wish there was some way we could have been together forever, just you and me, normal people, having a family, raising our kids."
Spike winced. If there was the one sore subject in their relationship, it was children. He had often felt guilt about denying Buffy the possibility of having babies. She had assured him often enough that it didn't matter to her; that being the slayer precluded the raising of a family; that he was more than childish enough for her. But he had seen her face over the years when everyone around her was having children, and then grandchildren. She loved the little ones, having them over to visit as often as she could. Although Dawn had been gone for over ten years now, her grandchildren still stopped in to see Auntie Buffy, and Dawn's oldest granddaughter was pregnant, starting the next generation of Summers'.
Giles, although not celibate, had never married, and had therefore had no children. He'd been gone now for more than thirty years, having vanished on a sailboat in the Bermuda Triangle. His disappearance had actually been part of a documentary on the Discovery Channel. His boat was found adrift, dinner on the table, glass of scotch poured, The Police on the tape deck, but no sign of Giles. Buffy privately thought that he had cooked the whole thing up to become the stuff of legends.
Xander and Anya's large brood had spread out over the world. Xander had fathered six children, and they in turn had also chosen large families. At the last Harris family reunion, while both Xander and Anya were still alive, there were ninety eight family and in-laws attending. Most of the kids kept in touch, even after Xander and Anya had passed away.
Willow, who had chosen to remain single throughout her life, had adopted a baby boy when she was in her late forties. Buffy and Spike had found him during a patrol, his mother a victim of a vampire. He had been attacked himself, and only just saved by Spike at the last minute. Unfortunately, his blood loss had been severe, and he was mentally damaged by the incident. Willow had fallen in love with him at the hospital, and managed to iron out the mountains of paperwork required for a single gay woman over forty five to adopt a baby, especially one whose family was lost. Billy, named for Spike, lived at home with Willow until her death last year. He was currently in a half-way house and doing well – he called and dropped in as often as he could.
Billy had sparked Buffy and Spike's work. Their mission now, since Buffy hadn't actually been the Slayer for many years, was to help children who were victims of supernatural attacks. They had photographs of over two thousand children that they had either rescued from attack and/or placed in a loving home. Their work gave them both an intense feeling of satisfaction.
Buffy could tell that she was making Spike feel bad. "I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean anything bad. Just wishful thinking. You know we're the last ones," she added.
He nodded. He knew what she meant. All the Scoobies were gone now, except for Buffy and Spike. And he couldn't bear the thought of being the last one, alone, without her. She was his life, his light, his love. He truly felt that he was nothing without her. For love of her, he had renounced his evil ways, and had spent the last seventy five years trying to make up for his past deeds. He particularly liked saving the children, as the thing that gave him the most loss of sleep was the memories of the wee ones that he had given to Drusilla to feed upon. He knew that there was no way that he could be cleansed for his sins, but he felt his part in rescuing the innocents was a small step of atonement.
Buffy clapped her hands together. "No more doom and gloom now, mister. Let's talk about something happy, like, where you're taking me for our anniversary. I expect full service – you don't have a seventy – fifth very often."
Spike smiled. "You'll like it, pet."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Almost one year later to the day, they were in the same room, Buffy lying in the same bed, but this time the prognosis was dire. Spike stayed beside her, never leaving her side, while the practical nurse waited in the other room, in case her presence was required.
"Buffy, don't leave me," he sobbed, burying his face in her stomach.
She reached up weakly and smoothed his hair. "You knew this day would come, sweetheart," she said gently. "It's OK, really it is. Be strong for me."
He came up to lay beside her, taking her in his arms, holding her as if he could share his life-force with her and make her live a little longer. He couldn't stop the tears from coursing down his face. He lay with her, cradling her head on his shoulder. She stroked his cheek. "Spike, I love you. I ……….." her eyes opened wide. "Mom? Mommy? What ……………" she took a final breath, and then was still.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"My candle burns at both ends
It will not last the night.
But, ah, my foes, and, oh, my friends,
It gives a lovely light."
Edna St. Vincent Millay
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
TBC
OK, I couldn't write any more, I made myself sad. Don't worry though, the next chapter will make things better. You'll see. Have faith. Don't worry. )