Disclaimer: Not mine. Sadly. Please don't sue me because I have nothing of value... Except two boys and they'd probably drive anybody else stark raving crazy. I've learned to function.

A/N: Unbeta'd.

7*7*7*7*7*7*7

Vin woke up as cool air passed over his naked body. He made a startled sound and thrashed around on silky sheets until it dawned on him that his hands and feet were tied to a bed. The last thing he remembered was being in the Saloon with Chris.

"What…" he started to say.

"Aw… You're awake," I said as I smiled at my captive.

"Who're ya? And why d'ya have me tied to this bed?" Vin asked, very perturbed.

"Oh, I'm just a fan fiction writer indulging in a harmless little fantasy."

"Fantasy?!"

"Yeah. Ever since I saw that first episode as a teenage girl, I've wanted you tied naked to a bed. And now, I have you."

"But I don' wanna be here."

"And why not?"

"I'm naked!"

"Oh, Vin, are you cold? I could write in a toasty fire… But that would probably make me too warm and I'd have to start removing layers…" I grin wickedly as I pull off my sweatshirt.

"No, no, no!" Vin shouted, closing his eyes. "Why'd ya have to tie me up?!"

"Very well. You can be untied. It's not like I'm going to write in that you run away."

Vin's bonds disappeared. He instantly tried to cover himself to maintain his modesty.

"Now, come on, Vin. You should be grateful. I pulled you out of a story where you were passed out from drinking too much. I'm trying to save you from a hangover. The least you could do is allow me a little eye candy."

"Eye candy?" Vin looked completely confused.

"Yeah. It's a term used to describe a very attractive person that you just want to stare at. Nothing more."

"So ya've got me here, naked, and you're not going to try an'thin'? I'm so confused," Vin sat down on the bed and rested his head in his hands.

"Well, as you can see, I'm not a teenage girl anymore. And I didn't discover the ability to write fan fiction until after I got married. So, as a married woman, eye candy is the most I will allow myself, even just as fantasy."

"M' head hurts. I jus' wanna go home." Vin looked pleadingly at me.

I sighed. "Very well. I'll send you back. Just close your eyes."

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Vin woke up, his head pounding viciously. The dim light of the dawn sky seared his eyes. He lifted his head slowly to look around. He really had passed out in the saloon. From all appearances, he had tried to drink Chris under the table. Groaning, he laid his head back down.

"I'm ne'er gonna try that again. That dream was too odd!"