I sat in my room messing around on my computer until I knew I was no longer alone, I turned around to see my mother standing in the doorway with a grin on her face.
"Guess what I have?!" She joyfully sang.
"Umm I don't know?" I answered back.
"Rutgers application!! Why don't you come downstairs, we can pop some popcorn and fill this baby out!" She suggested; excitement oozing from her mouth.
"Um maybe later mom, I think I'm just gonna go to bed" I told her, my voice void of any emotion what so ever.
"Carlie, seriously? It's 8:04 on a Friday night. What's been going on with you lately?" She asked me as she came to sit down on my bed.
"Mom I'm fine, I'm just tired, its been a long week at school" I explained to her slightly annoyed at the fact that she wouldn't just drop the subject.
"Carlie, you know I can't stand being lied to. And you know that like me, you are horrible at lying. Now for the past three weeks, you've barely gone out with your friends, you're constantly hiding out in the bathroom, and you just looked at the Rutgers application like I handed you the monthly electric bill. Look, honey if you're going through something you feel like you can't talk to me about I understand. It isn't always easy to talk to parents about stuff, but there are a lot of people that love you and care about you. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends. Whatever is wrong Carlie you need to talk to somebody about it. I would have hoped you would come to me with your problems but that doesn't seem to be the case. But don't lie to me and tell me everything is fine. Because I know its not"
And with that, she gave me one final look in the eye and walked out of my room. I went over and laid down on my bed feeling the tears fall down my cheeks. My mother was my best friend, the one person I told everything to. She never hovered, and she always seemed to know exactly what I wanted or needed without me having to say anything. I envied her in a way, I was exactly like her as a teenager. Quiet and shy, keeping to myself often and liking my time alone. But when she and my father met, he broke her out of her shell. My mother now radiated happiness and love. I wanted that personality so desperately, I just couldn't find a reason to ever be that excited about life. As much as I wanted her help, her guidance and support, this was just too much for her to handle. How would I ever find a way to tell her that I had been seeing Noah Black for the past six months. More importantly, how was I ever going to break the news to her that I was now carrying his child. I wanted to be excited about the Rutgers application, but how could I go to school hundreds of miles away when I had a child on the way?