Author's Note - I own nothing from Marvel or ABC. Julia is all mine.
Vlad the Impaler
Ch.1
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"You know, there are some days that I really, really hate you," I said as a bullet whizzed past me.
"Well, to be honest, the feeling is mutual at times," Agent Coulson replied, crouching down next to me, using the concrete wall as cover.
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20 hours earlier
My phone buzzed, waking me. It was 5:38 a.m. and still dark outside. I groaned as I saw the caller I.D.
"Good Morning, Sunshine" I said, knowing full well it would irritate him. He preferred being called Agent or Agent Coulson. But, hey, wake me up this early in the morning and I decide to spread the misery around.
"We need you on a flight in 45 minutes, Agent Demarco."
"I just got back from a mission. Don't I get any down time?" I asked, knowing that it was futile to protest, but being just perverse enough to push it.
"Sorry, no, meet us at the airfield in 44 minutes."
Jerk. Usually there was at least a week or so between major assignments. Leave it up to Coulson to push it.
"Can't your dream team handle it?" I replied sarcastically.
"You have experience with this threat. Now you've got 43 minutes."
"What should I pack?" I gave in. There was no use at this point.
"Enough for 2 or 3 days. It's an infiltration mission, but also something for a party."
"Black tie or frat?" I grinned, hoping it was the former. I could no longer pass for a sorority girl.
"Black tie, uh, dress," he amended.
"See you soon," I said.
"42 minutes" he replied before hanging up.
I briefly wondered how much trouble I would get into if I just blew this assignment off. I'd never done it before, but I got back at midnight last night and my ribs were still aching slightly from the beating I took on my last mission. The unpleasant fact was that I fully believed that if I wasn't at the airfield on time, Agent Coulson would just send Agent Ward over to physically take me, kicking and screaming to the plane. Ward was so by the book, I could totally see him doing it, too.
I grabbed a quick breakfast, making sure to make the coffee extra strong. There is a ratio of sleep to caffeine that was very handy in situations like this. The coffee was warm and sweet and distracted me momentarily from the dread I had of going on assignment again so soon.
I took a quick shower, more to wake myself up than anything else. I dried my hair, awkwardly hanging my head upside down so that the diffuser could work its magic. When I finished, I sighed a bit. Curly hair is nice, but it's such a bother. Cut it too short, you look like a poodle; let it grow too long, the curl gets weighed down and listless. I narrowed my eyes and saw that my roots were growing out again. I'd need to hit the stylist before too long or my red highlights would look even more fake than usual.
I looked in the mirror and noticed dark circles under my bloodshot, grey eyes. Even the best concealer can only do so much. I threw on some make-up, covering up the freckles that dotted my cheeks, making sure that I repacked it quickly. Now that I was getting closer to 30 than I'd like to admit, I didn't go anywhere without moisturizer with SPF 50.
I packed a little black dress, as per orders, along with a pair of low heels that I knew from experience were suitable for running in. I threw in a few pairs of jeans and shirts as well as one or two more formal outfits. I looked at the ragged state of my nails and added a manicure set as well. My last assignment had been a bit rough and tumble and I didn't have the need to get all prettied up. It looked like this one was going to be a bit different.
Before leaving, I looked at my tiny apartment. Man, it was such a pigsty. I tried to remember the last time I cleaned it properly and felt chagrined when I couldn't.
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I arrived at the airfield right on time and marched straight to the plane. You know, for a semi-secret organization, S.H.I.E.L.D. seems to love to plaster its name and logo on everything.
"You're late," Agent Coulson barked at me.
"Good try, but I'm actually right on time," I said with a sugary sweet smile.
"Fine, come to the debriefing room," he looked down, not meeting my eyes. Something was off. Coulson and I sometimes had our differences, but I could tell he was holding something back.
After takeoff, Agent May put the plane on autopilot and we all got together in a main room. There was a table console covered in a large touchscreen. Coulson began, "Our main objective is Vladimer Kuchenov, a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent."
"You've got to be freaking kidding me. THAT'S why I'm here? No. No way. There is no way I'm doing this." I began clenching my fists.
"Why? What's the big deal with this guy?" asked Skye, the computer expert.
"He's her ex," Ward replied.
"No, not my ex. We were never together, " I clarified.
"So, again, what's the big deal?" Skye repeated.
I sighed. "We were partners. We worked together. At first, it was great. He was wonderful at what he did, professional, detail-oriented. But, then, he started to get a bit . . . ." I took a deep breath, trying to describe the emotional turmoil in detached, clinical terms. "Let's just say he wanted to start up a romantic relationship. I declined. He pushed it. Then, he went ballistic and just lost it during a mission. I got myself re-assigned. He broke into S.H.I.E.L.D.'s database to try to find me, jeopardizing my mission and nearly getting my new partner killed in the process. He escaped S.H.I.E.L.D.'s custody after he was caught. I haven't seen him since."
I rubbed my eyes. "Coulson, what were you thinking? This is a horrible idea." Going after Vlad was the last thing I wanted to do.
"Some of the Chitauri weapons found after the Battle of New York have been reverse-engineered and it looks like he is brokering the buy for a major shipment in a week or so. Since he left S.H.I.E.L.D.'s employ, he's gotten into the illegal weapons trade. We just discovered he's gotten into something even more exotic. We found out he's attending museum opening in Rome tonight. We need to find out about the buy."
"Why me? Really, do you hate me that much?" The question was came out a bit whiny, but the pain behind it was real. I never wanted to see Vlad again.
"Sorry, but we just got our intel," he nodded at Skye, "and we had to act fast. As it is, we'll barely make it."
"Fine, so what's the plan? I mean, he used to be one of us. He knows the way we work. He's never going to believe that I just decided to fall in love with him."
"That's why we're going to play on his weakness," Coulson replied.
"And that would be?"
"His jealousy."
"So, how exactly are we going to use it against him?" I asked tentatively. I had a pretty good idea where this was going and I wasn't happy about it.
"You and Ward will pose as a couple, " Coulson stated, his arms crossed.
I rolled my eyes. Yup. That's what I'd feared.
"Vlad won't buy it, " I said firmly.
"And why not?" Coulson countered.
"Because, the one time he saw us both together, we spent the whole time arguing."
It was a mission in Nicaragua. Normally, Vlad and I worked alone, but Ward had an asset down there, so he tagged along. Ward and I clashed on every single aspect of the mission. I swear, if I said the sun was yellow, he'd say it was blue just to spite me.
"Sir, I have to agree with Agent Demarco on this one. Kuchenov knows we didn't get along. At all," Ward said, his arms crossed, too, mirroring Coulson.
I gave Ward a small smile. That was an understatement. Once, I actually almost hit him.
"So, use it to your advantage. You know, belligerent sexual tension and all that," Skye piped up.
"This is not a romantic comedy. The people who hate each other the most do not end up together in real life," I told her.
I paused. "Not that I hate you, Ward, sorry," I mumbled.
"No, I understand."
"Sorry, guys, that's the call. You have five hours before we land. You better come up with a convincing backstory." Coulson started putting away his file, the conversation clearly over in his mind.
"Yes, sir," Ward said tightly; I could tell he was not happy.
"Yes, sir," I echoed sharply.
I was worried that this was going to be the worst mission ever.
And I was so right.