Bulletproof Loneliness

he curled himself into a tight ball, gazing out the window. It was cold tonight, but he would do anything about it. The cold made him feel a little better. The night was so crisp it crackled when he breathed. He had to admit, sitting by a fully open window in a pair of shorts, when the heat wasn't on in the middle of winter was not the smartest thing to do, but he couldn't help it.

This town was quieter than a grave.

Which is exactly what it was.

A bleached white shihakusho was draped around his shoulders, warming him even though the skin it had been touching was colder than death.

"You're hurting." the hollow was kind enough to whisper, fingers drawing little circles on his neck and face. He didn't reply, instead retreating from the gentle touches. They were strangely comforting. But he'd had too many encounters with this demon to believe dirty things weren't going through his mind. In his presence, it seemed like that was the only thing the hollow thought about. Instead of giving up, strong arms drew him close to a broad chest, making him feel warmer.

But what could his hollow do about the way he was feeling? It's not as if he could bring them back.

He wasn't quite sure if he wanted them back. But they would always be a million times better than leaving him alone with this kind of insanity. At the moment, he didn't feel strong enough. Didn't want to feel strong enough. He didn't even want to feel. He wished he were dead. Then he'd be one step closer, just a little closer.

"You're an idiot." he nodded his agreement and was kissed on the forehead. He felt so warm, and he wasn't sure it was just the body heat. But what was his hollow trying to do? Didn't he know this was hopeless? "I won't let you fall just because you want to fall. I'll make you feel. So make it stop raining."

"I can't." he turned away from the condemning black and gold eyes. He hated the pitying look. He would not be pitied. Not even by someone he defeated. Never. The hollow forcefully turned him back around, crushing their lips together. Warm. Burning almost. He wanted to fall into this. But something wasn't letting him. And it was reminding him that this, all of this was wrong. He was weak, he should give up.

"You'll never be alone. Never. I can promise that to you." he tried to pull away, but the hollow held him tight, pulling him closer. "I'm not going to say something stupid, like 'I love you' because I don't. I can't, and I won't. But I can promise you. A king never goes anywhere without his horse."

How sweet. The hollow was comforting him. Now of all times. Why didn't he do that when Rukia died. Or when Renji was bleeding out on the floor, or when Ishida was reaching for him, silently asking why he wasn't hurt, why he didn't even look human anymore. Why didn't the hollow promise him he'd never let him feel this lonely back then? He'd believed that he was too far gone, but now he was so warm in the hollow's arms.

"Don't..." he whispered. The hollow raised an eyebrow at him while kissing his face. "Don't be stupid... in fact, how dare you?! I don't need your help. I don't want your fake promises when to you they mean absolutely nothing. You goddamned monster! Is it your fucking hobby to toy with people's feelings?!" he beat at the hollow's chest, feeling salty tears roll down his cheeks. Crying...why was he crying? When he'd promised he would never cry for them.

The hollow patiently waited until he was done, sitting with him in his lap next to the now closed window until his temper had blown over. He wouldn't offer any words, instead a small smile. He glared up at the smirking demon, not quite feeling angry. He was so warm, right to the tips of his ears.

"I promise you, because you're hurting." the hollow seemed simple, and naive, like a child. Did he think one promise was enough for him, after all that he had lost? Their lips met again. There was no comfort, just passion. He knew it. The hollow only wanted sex. But at the moment he didn't quite care. Anything to take his mind off it. And if this was all the other could offer as a distraction, then he'd take it.

He held onto a pale hand, his head resting in the crook of the hollow's neck. "Don't...leave tonight..." there was a giggle in response. On normal occasions, he wouldn't know what that meant but, it was just another promise.

OWARI

fluff...because Damon was bugging me that I was writing too much blood gore and insanity (but I can't help it, I love the stuff, luckily I was reading a manga with nuff of that, so it's out of my system.) Review!