Sforzando of Picturesqueness
Watch and Learn, Girls
JeffxTonyxMr.SaturnxDusterxNessxSkaMusicxClausxDr.AndonutsxDr.MarioxPooxFrankxCapt.StrongxDadxKingxPorkyxFlyingManxGigyasxSerpentPandaxWolfxFox Yes, there is minor shipping... Deal with it.
Hi, it's me! Yes, me, Sepetyra Navi! Yup, that avid reviewer. WHAT? I haven't reviewed you yet? Okay, fine. Now, taste my awesome fanfiction prowess in this epic yaoi fiasco. As stated in my summary, this is a
"JeffxTonyxMr.SaturnxDusterxNessxSkaMusicxClausxDr.AndonutsxDr.MarioxPooxFrankxCapt.StrongxDadxKingxPorkyxFlyingManxGigyasxSerpentPandaxWolfxFox"
fanfiction. It's got nineteen dudes and a music genre for your reading/listening pleasure...You sick perv! I will break the "Well-Written Yaoi Rule" as set up by the yaoi gods of old. I will introduce, make use of, and dispose of characters at will. Yes, sorry, but it must be done...And I'm not sure if I can get away with calling some of the later chapters as 'rated T.' So now, enjoy this tasty sausage-fest.
Jeff sat at his desk, playing Adventure Quest on his computer by the light of the monitor. He was so into his actions that he didn't notice Tony walk in, lustfully gazing at his special friend. It is common knowledge to all the boys at Snow Wood Boarding House that Tony is a unique individual. Unique is a very light term for what they were really thinking...Presently, however, Tony walked into their room with that lustful gaze. He wrapped his arms around his roommate's chest and leaned into him.
Jeff, unfazed by Tony's inappropriateness, continued to play his game, lost in the epic world of Adventure Quest.
"Jeff...Jeff, are you still playing that silly game?" Tony asked in a low whisper into Jeff's ear.
The boy without psychic powers put his game on pause for a moment to look up a Tony.
"Are you insinuating that we...?" he asked, blushing.
"You read me like a book, Jeffy," Tony said. He released Jeff and took a few seductive steps back toward the bed. Jeff got to his feet and adjusted his bow-tie.
"I...can't do this...Not now," Jeff said, turning toward the door.
"What? Why not?"
Jeff showed a small grin on his face as he stared at the ceiling. "My heart...is already in use..."
"That was awkwardly phrased,"
"My whole life is awkward!!" Jeff screamed, sprinting out of the room in tears. He did not stop until he made it outside where he saw a small snowy lump waiting outside the gates. Jeff approached it, trying desperately to dry his tears.
"You-you came..." Jeff muttered with a crack in his voice.
"Mr. Saturn always here, boing," the little creature replied, shaking the snow off of his head/body.
Jeff placed his hands on the icy bars of the gate, the freezing steel separating him from love. Getting down on one knee, he reached out and palmed the large nose of Mr. Saturn, caressing it with passion.
"Me feel you, zoom."
"And I you, my love...Promise you'll always come back for me..."
"Kay-o,"
"Are you sure?"
"I do what I say. Cross heart."
Jeff sighed with a deep-set passion. His hormones and the rest of his body jumped when he heard a voice behind him.
"So here you are, son," it said.
Jeff turned around like he was hiding something. "Dad?" he asked hysterically.
"I just got through...um, talking...with your friend Tony back there...So now I'm moving on out to see how you are." Dr. Andonuts said. He had his hands behind his back, giving him and aura of suspicious.
"How did you even get in here?!"
"Love does crazy things, son..."
"That was phrased incorrectly, dad..."
"It runs in the family..." Dr. Andonuts suddenly pinned his son up against the back of the gate. He slid a hand in his coat and felt around, "As does the blood of my sister, your mother..."
"Mr. Saturn!! Help me!!" Jeff cried as his father began to do things that would beget me an M rating.
"Ding."
Meanwhile, across many waters, a lowly fat kid named Porky rubbed his hand quickly back and forth across the back end of a telephone. After Porky's fatness caught up to him and he stopped from exhaustion, the phone rang. He picked it up and asked through labored breaths, "Did you like it?"
"It was great. Well, exp to get to the next level, Porky...69. I have created a record of your adventure to this point."
"Continue," Porky muttered.
"Porky, you like to work hard, just like your mother. But I don't think it's good to work too hard. (Click! Beep-beep-beep...)
Porky slammed the phone back down on the receiver and collapsed down on the couch, sweat emitting from every pore.
In walked King after these events transpired. He walked around the couch for awhile, finally deciding to jump up on it and give Porky a strange glare.
"Is there something you need?" Porky asked.
King, unable to hold back his emotions, let loose a flurry of passionate licks upon Porky's feet. The fat kid began to act more disgusting than I care to write about, so the entire scene was undesirable. Cue Frank's entrance. He, being an awkward old guy, joined the feet-licking party. Porky soon exploded in more ways than one.
Deep in the Lylat system, a lone Arwing jetted through the stars. In it sat Fox, and somehow, Wolf, both crammed in shoulder to shoulder in the small craft.
"So I got a question..." Wolf began, "How is it that we aren't speeding up?"
"What?" Fox asked, not taking his eyes off the vast space before him.
"You got them jets things on back there. Because we're in space, we should continually speed up...Why aren't we?"
"That doesn't make sense."
"Does too, retard. And now, the only way to stop would be to jet in the opposite direction for a time equal to how long we are traveling now. At that rate, we're gonna pass the next rest stop ten times over."
"No, see, when I turn the jets off, we'll automatically slow down," Fox said, reaching for the switch. He flipped it and the jets shut off, but the Arwing's speedometer did not fall.
"Told you," Wolf said, turning away.
"This means nothing! I mean, it's never happened down on the planets I have crazy dogfights on!"
"Probably cuz those planets have wind-resistance! This is space, dumb-ass!"
"Hey now, that was uncalled for!"
"You're just such a retarded little son of a--"
The two paused and stared at each other. Suddenly, they fell into each other's arms and began to viciously make out, letting their tongues lead the way.
To their surprise, another Arwing flew up next to them. Piloting said Arwing was my master, Serpent Panda, who is too young to have a license. He watched the two animals for awhile, and then nodded, knowing all is well in the land of furries. He flew off into the distance, owning the land of middle school with his success. (HA HA, master I just included you in a story...how weird that I decided to do that!)
Back the land of games that I've actually played, Ness and Flying Man redundantly swung on the swings late one evening. Ness has always felt very close to Flying Man. The human-like toucan had such a beautiful singing voice that attracted all of the other male characters, but Flying Man only sang for Ness, always beginning his songs with, "Ness, I am your courage." As the two moved like pendulums through the air, Flying Man began:
"sekai no hashi made todoku koe yori
kimi ni dake tsutae tai dake
rukugen no san FURETT kizamu MY GUITAR
kokoro dake huruwa setai dake
yureru komaku haseru kotoba
urei tomadoi kokoni suteru
yokubetsu na sainou whoa
nani hitotsu motazutomo
kokoro ima kokode kaki arasu whoa! Whoa.
kimi ga nageku
mure ga itande
subete tsu-tsu mu eien no seimei
boku wa sakebu
yoakeno ame
koko de hibiku eien no seimei
tokubetsuna saino whao!
nani hitotsu motazutomo
kimi no tojiru yamiwo uchinoku
dekiru nara kokoro, whoa sorehitotsu
kono mune no oku wo ima kokode kaki narasu whao! whoa. Whoa."
By the end of it, Ness could not stop crying. Nor could Flying Man...Swinging in unison, the two began to hold hands. But soon, they began to move out of unison, so holding hands became difficult. Nonetheless, there was totally yoai there. All of a sudden, ska music could be heard.
(Sigh) I think both writing after midnight and writing two second yaoi clips pulled me away from my usual abilities...which, of course, makes me sound like suck and makes my grammars fail.