Welcome to my first Megamind fanfic. I've only written for Labyrinth so far but after seeing Megamind for the first time a couple of weeks ago (and many, many times since then thanks to my children...) I came up with this idea and it just wouldn't shut up and leave me alone. It's rated T most likely for suggestive themes and some language. I hope you enjoy.
By the way I try to update a couple of times a week. It used to be every second day but the holidays are over now and it's time to get back to the real world!
Disclaimer: I don't own Megamind. No one does. He is a law unto himself!
Prologue
Well this is different. It's familiar enough situation I suppose but with an entirely new perspective.
As I sit strapped into a chair dangling over a pond churning with mutant fish I can't help but laugh at the situation I've gotten myself into. No longer the captor, but now the capteev. Helpless. Living or dying at the whim of the dastardly genius who has bested me.
Leather straps. A chair, dangling over ravenous fanged Coi, held in place by a chain suspended from the ceiling. Miniature black ninja robots watching for any sign I may be escaping.
I had to admit this evil genius had style.
I watched the numbers on the giant plasma screen in front of me tick down. 2:30. 2:29. 2:28. And so on and so forth.
There will be no rescue. Of this I am sure. MetroMan was always there to rescue my captives but there were no super heroes left for me.
Oh Roxanne. My last regret is that you will never know I'm not the fiend you think I am.
1
The crowd gathered in front of the small, makeshift stage chattering excitedly. Megamind surveyed the crowd from behind the curtain. It was impressive. Not quite as large as the gatherings MetroMan had inspired in the past but then again Megamind knew his achievements were of an intellectual nature, and the mindless followers who hung on MetroMan's every word simply didn't have the brain power to comprehend some of his achievements. That and the crowd's numbers weren't bulked up by undercover brainbots.
The mayor stepped up on the stage and the crowd clapped and cheered. He smiled and gestured for silence. He didn't get it. After waiting for seconds upon seconds for the ceremony to proceed Megamind sighed and stepped through the curtain onto the stage. The crowd got louder with whistles and catcalls. He took out his multi-purpose gun and set it to 'Debilitate' and fired into the sky. A deafening blast shot into the air and a shockwave bowled the crowd over.
There was silence.
"Um...citizens of Metro City, may I present to you our resident Semi-Evil Genius, Megamind!" the mayor spoke into the microphone.
There was polite clapping as the citizens of Metro City got back up to their feet. Megamind smiled. He took the microphone off the mayor and prepared to introduce his latest project, the enormous solar power-plant behind the stage. It was a huge warehouse-type of structure with a huge receiver dish on the roof. What it received was pure concentrated solar energy from Megamind's newly remodelled Death Ray. The end result was cheap, clean energy for Metro City
There wasn't a lot of crime in the city these days (now that Megamind was no longer a criminal) so as the city's new hero he had instead decided to battle the threat of Global Warming instead.
It wasn't as much fun as battling seven-foot tall flying men with killer robots, but it kept him busy.
"Citizens of Metrosity, I am pleased to announce that we are now officially the world's first fully solar-powered city! Go forth and use your appliances in the knowledge that your bills are smaller and your carbon footprint is miniscule!" he said, taking out a remote control with only one button on it. He graciously handed it to the mayor, who pushed the button.
Right on cue a great beam of golden light shone down into the receiver dish.
Megamind had actually activated the Death Ray five minutes previous with the real remote currently in the pocket of his cape, just to make sure there would be no embarrassing 'warming up' sequence to go through in front of the entire city. The remote actually came from his remote-control scale model Invisible Car (unbeknownst to him the car was now activated and chasing Minion around the office at home).
The crowd cheered. Some chanted his name. Some wore blue masks that supposedly resembled his face (personally he didn't think his head looked anywhere near that big and they never seemed to get his nose right). He was now the #1 favourite Halloween costume in the city (followed closely by Titan). He had two weekly scheduled interviews on the news for five minutes every Monday and Friday night updating Metro City on the current state of crimes, disasters or (if news was slow for the day) just for some banter or a feel-good story about the Megamind Scholarship for Gifted Children. For the first time in his life he was...popular.
And he liked it.
The mayor shook his hand and gave him a shiny piece of paper showing the city's appreciation for his hard work (and a modest cheque for his time. Now that he no longer robbed banks his projects did need some funding). After that Megamind moved through the crowd signing autographs, patting babies on the head (but never kissing them. Yecch!) and handing out miniature replicas of his ray gun to the children present (with the more harmful settings deactivated of course). An hour or so later the crowd began to melt away and Megamind set his brainbots to work, cleaning up dropped rubbish, broken masks and the general mess left behind by large groups of people. The brainbots did their jobs marvellously well. He had been approached to market them as household helpers but they were more than just robotic servants to him, they were his children. His small, biting, floating children encased in steel and bulletproof glass.
Megamind turned to the mayor who was consulting with his minions.
"Excuse me Mr. May-or but I really must be going."
"Of course Megamind. Thank you again for coming." They shook hands. Megamind shook his head as he walked away. One year on and the whole 'we're the good guys' thing was still taking some getting used to. He must have kidnapped that man half a dozen times over the course of his career as an evil mastermind and here he was, shaking hands and accepting payment for services rather than demanding ransoms.
The feeling of weirdness was still there as he stopped into the bank on the way home. He'd parked his car, left it visible in the parking lot, strolled inside and waited in the queue with the handful of other customers. There was pointing and whispering but that was nothing unusual. The customer service was much better too when one wasn't holding a loaded weapon to the head of the cashier.
While he was there he took out some cash for his big night. Not his big night so much as their big night. It was his and Roxanne's one year anniversary.
Megamind pulled up in his driveway and admired his new lair...no not lair. Home.
He'd bought a cheap lot of land no one was using. It was right on the edge of a cliff with a fantastic view of the ocean. There was some slight damage to the cliff, a bit of a crater caused by his own Death Ray a year ago. So the land had been going cheap. It had been no hard task for him to design a new lair...home...taking inspiration from the abandoned observatory that had once stood there. The architecture was modern with a huge dome on the roof with a fully-functioning telescope and a basement workshop containing various controls, dials and machinery to make it feel like home.
He parked his car in the garage next to his rocket bike and walked inside humming Enter Sandman by Metallica. He really did have to digitise his record collection one of these days. He absently wondered why his remote-control scale-model Invisible Car was wrapped up in duct tape and stuffed upside-down inside a cage in his kitchen but there were more pressing matters to attend to.
"Minyon! Oh Minyon!" he called. Minion stomped into the room. He had duct tape in a cross shape over a crack in his bowl.
"Yes your dastardly big-headedness?" he sounded cranky.
"Minyon? What on Earth happened to you?" he demanded.
"Sir you really need to start putting your toys away when you're finished with them." He complained and gestured with his robotic arm at the tied-up car in the kitchen.
"Yes yes of course but later. I'm running late for my date." He announced. Minion looked at his watch.
"Sir it's only five o'clock."
"I know I know I should have been home hours ago."
"You're not meeting until seven."
"Must you rub it in?" Megamind held his hand to his head. "I still have to choose my outfit! Do you have any idea how long that takes?"
"Brainbots?" Minion called. Brainbots flew into the room, each carrying a selection of suits and shirts on hanges. Megamind's lip curled.
"Ohhh...thankyou Minyon but perhaps I should have something with a cape..."
"No. No cape. You're going out for your first anniversary dinner you need something special."
"So break out the Black Mamba." Minion gave him a flat stare.
"No spandex, no cape, no spikes, no robotic limbs."
"That was one time. I'd sprained my wrist. It was medically necessary!" Megamind snapped. Minion stared him down. Megamind sighed.
"All right, all right." He picked a charcoal-grey suit and tie from the nearest brainbot and a blue and grey striped shirt off another one. "But if she doesn't like it I'm holding you personally responsible.
"As expected sir." Minion said with a smile, clearly happy he'd gotten his own way with this one.
"Very well. Where is Roxanne's gift?" Megamind asked.
"Wrapped and ready." Minion pulled a little wrapped box out of a hidden compartment in his gorilla-robot suit.
"Have you confirmed my reservation?"
"Yes sir it's all ready for seven o'clock."
"Flowers?"
"Two dozen blue and white roses were delivered to her desk four hours ago." Megamind opened his mouth but couldn't think of anything else that needed doing.
"Thankyou Minyon. I think I'll go for my bath now."
"And I'll clean out the car while you're in there." Minyon said. Megamind smiled on the way to the bathroom. He really was a fantastic fish. Megamind had started drawing up plans for a modest aquarium for his friend. After today he decided to double the size and add some more bubble machines.
Later, as Minion was straightening Megamind's tie, he asked the fish.
"What will you be doing tonight, Minyon?"
"Me? Um...you know. I've got a party to go to, tearing up the city. Don't wait up!"
"You're watching Finding Nemo again aren't you?" Minion sighed.
"Yeah."
"You know you really should go out and have fun, maybe find a Roxanne of your own."
"In case you haven't noticed the fish around here aren't exactly the talkative types. I'm fine. What time should I expect you in the morning?"
"Oh I should be home by midnight." Megamind checked to make sure he had the present for the fifth time so far. There it was, in his pocket.
"Um, sir, your room isn't really...equipped to deal with company." Megamind's bedroom closely resembled his old prison cell. After so many years in jail it had felt like home, and he just couldn't sleep if it wasn't in a tiny rock-hard bed.
"Yes Minyon I know. I'm not expecting company at that time of night. Why? Do I have an appointment I don't know about?"
"No...I just thought since it was your one year anniversary that you might be staying at Roxanne's place?" Megamind blinked.
"Why would I do that? My bed is here." He laughed and shook his head. Minion confused him sometimes. "Ahh I've got to go. Have a good night Minyon!"
Minion rolled his eyes and went inside. His kind laid eggs and he still got the whole relationship thing better than Megamind did. Oh well, it wasn't his problem. He decided to go find his fish-flakes and start his under-water movie-marathon with A Shark's Tale tonight, just to mix things up a bit.