Summary: The place was just as he had left it. That was Kazeshini's train of thought until he found himself face to face with his Shinigami in the latter's inner world.
Disclaimer: Don't own it. Kubo Tite's brain is genius. I'm close, but his is unique.
Reason: I didn't (very much) like the way Kazeshini and Hisagi's relationship was explored. I believed it lacked a few main issues, as in what both thought of each other, namely Hisagi. This is my attempt at that.
Warnings: Some blood? Bad words? Spoilers on guilty names for the Zanpakutou Arc, if anyone bothers to see the small reference.
B*L*E*A*C*H
ºººººº One and the Same ºººººº
B*L*E*A*C*H
The place was just as he had left it.
Back with the sand and the dunes and the moonlight and the strong wind was actually a small blessing for Kazeshini. It felt good, dancing across his skin and playing with the ends of his long mane of hair.
It wasn't always this way, no.
A long, long time ago, back when his wielder wasn't yet out of the Academy, back when his Shikai was yet to be perfected, back then, this world was sunny. And there were trees. Several, actually, dotting the place and giving shade with their huge canopies. When Hisagi was tired, it came with a low, cosy and warm sunset and a cool, gentle breeze. When he was mad, strong blizzards picked up the leaves in the several large trees and whipped them about violently.
Then, when Suzumushi's own master went and betrayed Soul Society, this sunny world suddenly turned into an endless night. Most trees were gone and the ones who weren't lost all their leaves. Whenever Shuuhei felt any semblance to happiness now, there was a full moon and the wind wasn't too strong. But when he was angry, there was no moon and no stars and in rare occasions, there were tornados.
Right now it was calm. The moon was in a waning crescent position and, together the wind's strength, meant his coward of a master was being thoughtful. Or troubled.
Kazeshini didn't exactly care about it. He merely made to walk towards a clearing where he usually spent his time. It was a small one, one he himself had made, right by the side of the only mountain he knew there. He walked across it and towards the mountain itself.
Together with the desert like scenery and trees, it kinda stood out and wasn't too normal, but that was Hisagi's inner world. Besides, the mountain had a nice little cave there which the zanpakutou enjoyed. That was where he was heading.
However, this time around, Kazeshini froze at the entrance for the cosy cave he called his own.
Last time he had frozen up like this, it had been when he came across that bastard Muramasa trespassing.
But this time, it wasn't a trespasser. Well, not exactly, though he had spent so much time without ever showing his face here, Kazeshini wondered how he hadn't gotten lost on his way.
Shuuhei stood so he could face him at his full height, "Kazeshini."
The demon-like zanpakutou frowned deeply and bared his fangs. "What the hell are you doing here? What do you want?"
His master's eyes dropped to the ground for a moment. His voice didn't rise like Kazeshini's. "We need… to talk."
He could feel his long ears twitching in apprehension. It wasn't a familiar feeling for the wind-based zanpakutou and certainly one he disliked. There weren't many moments when Hisagi had ever talked to him.
There were moments when he made his wielder work and train and scream and train some more in order to learn Kazeshini's name. Then his release order. And even then, Kazeshini refused to allow him to use Shikai.
This had forced Hisagi to enter his inner world for this first time. And after allowing him to be amazed and all that, Kazeshini had grinned and charged head-on, making him defend himself, making Hisagi prove himself and his zanpakutou that yes, he was strong enough for this.
That fight between them was one of Kazeshini's greatest fights and possibly the one he most enjoyed. It was the kind of fight where Shuuhei had completely let go; a fight of anger and seeking his Shikai, a fight where no bystander would get hurt. A fight where he could let go.
A fight where he didn't care. A fight where he did not want to care. A fight where the glint in his eye was wild, dangerous, even murderous, matching Kazeshini's. And the zanpakutou realized why their souls were connected, why they were one.
This was the real Hisagi Shuuhei now, with no calm façade, no logical thinking, no held-back words. This was his essence, that side of him he was so keen on repressing.
Kazeshini did not doubt he himself was a manifestation of a darker side of Hisagi Shuuhei. After all, they were one identity, divided only in Shinigami and zanpakutou, never to be separated and destined to forever stand by each other's side. Deep down, they were one and the same.
And he witnessed the evidence.
Fighting on equal grounds and seeing no fear of wielding a katana for the first time in a long time, Kazeshini had prolonged the battle as long as he could. As his thanks, he allowed Hisagi to use his released form whenever he wished.
Unfortunately, this happened very few times excluding practise sessions. And as days, weeks and months and eventually years passed, Kazeshini let the simmering rage in him grow.
So in the end he agreed to lend his power and Shuuhei did not want it?
One day, Kazeshini dragged his sorry excuse of a wielder back into his inner world.
"Why? Why won't you use me? Why won't you release me?" the zanpakutou knew Hisagi could not understand what Shikai meant for him. For all zanpakutous. It meant a piece of freedom, a moment in time when they could let go, stretch after a long night's sleep and let out a good yawn. It made them feel alive.
And more than anything, for Kazeshini, whose nature was to reap, to shred, to cut again and again, it meant having fun. Lots of it.
"I don't need to, Kazeshini. When I do, I'll call for you."
He did not ask for much; he did not ask Shuuhei to turn against his colleagues and go on a killing spree. Attacking hollows was just as good. Perhaps some that actually gave a bit of a challenge, but he wasn't really that picky.
But sitting on his ass as Hisagi used Kidou here and a few slashes there? Man, that was god darn boring as all hell!
So why?
Kazeshini felt a growl building. "No. No, that's not just it. I can feel it." he circled his master, observing him closely, watching the muscled shoulders tense. "I am you, remember? Don't hide from yourself. There's something else there." Then he made a shocking discovery. "Fear?"
Yes, he was not mistaken. No doubts about it.
The young shinigami's eyes hardened, "Kaze-"
"You fear me? You fear your own zanpakutou? My powers? You fear yourself?"
Shuuhei was silent for a short while. "One who doesn't fear the very sword he holds has no right to wield it at all." The words were not his own, Kazeshini knew this much. It was right then that he absolutely despised Suzumushi's owner.
That had been his justification. And they had not spoken in a long time after that.
Not until said fucking Suzumushi's wielder decided to betray Shuuhei. A few days later, after countless tornados and moonless nights, the 9th division fukutaichou showed up by the cave.
"Kazeshini!"
The zanpakutou had opened one eye out of curiosity from his laid back position against the wall. "The fuck ya want now?" he had had no more time to say anything else; Shuuhei had lost no time to unsheathe his katana and charge at him.
That one had also been a rather gratifying scuffle, where they both let out their rage to the howling winds all around them.
It was bloody.
It was wild.
It was freakin' fun.
But ever since then… Kazeshini had been mostly by himself here. And so, this request to talk was making him uneasy. His hands twitched, wondering if he should materialize his Shikai form or not.
"Talk."
"Yeah, I…" the young man lifted a hand and Kazeshini tensed, ears pulled back and fangs peeking out in a threat. But that hand merely trailed up to the back of his neck; if Shuuhei noticed his reaction, he didn't show it. "Now that this is dealt with, about Muramasa and Kouga… If nothing else, it made us all realize something."
"Really…" his tone was beyond dubious.
And Shuuhei was finally getting ticked off. "Look, I'm trying here."
"Hmph. So you're here out of what, charity? Go back to your sake."
"Iie." Hisagi took a step closer. His eyes were serious. "I don't want us, this, to be this way. This resentful. You were right back then, we are one. And I didn't lie either, I was afraid."
"Then you're still a coward." Kazeshini sneered and the double scythes he so enjoyed materialized in his grip. He twirled the blades lazily, expertly and in a flash had them resting against his master's neck. "Nothing's changed." His shinigami did not move, did not blink. "You're disgusted by the shape I take, by what I enjoy. Even my release order. Especially that. If you still fear this, you, why did you come here in the first place? To get slaughtered?"
"Because I am you as well." Shuuhei spoke softly. "And I can't run away from that. Away from me. Away from you. I don't like it, but… And I'm not a coward."
The zanpakutou scoffed. "Tch, whatever. You'll not use my Shikai. I know you won't. This won't change that easily. Again, why?"
There was really nothing much Kazeshini asked for.
He wanted to feel the wind in his blades. The warmth of blood dripping off of them. Feel alive. But most of all, he wanted to be accepted by the one person he was, Shuuhei himself. And to be feared by him made him also disgusted at himself, because what had he done to his wielder to make him this afraid? Why? Because of his Shikai shape? Seriously?
Kazeshini had never let Shuuhei know of this, but he did torture himself many, many nights wondering what he could do to change this.
"Why won't you release me!" He'd also shout countless times in the heat of a battle, but his cries went unheard. "Let me help you! Let me cut him! Set me free!"
Another slash. Another shunpo.
"Let me! Let me go, say it!"
Kidou. More shunpo. A tricky feint.
"Say it! Say it, damn you! Release me, you coward!"
But no answer would ever come.
Hisagi let one hand trail over the handle of his katana. Slowly, he pulled it out and examined it by the feeble moonlight that somehow managed to filter in. "It felt… right. You're right, I won't promise I will release you as soon as the chance arises from now on, but I don't want to keep repressing you like I was before."
Kazeshini's ears perked up. "What are you suggesting then?"
Shuuhei's dark eyes flickered from the blade to his sinuous materialization. "We can work something out." And with a last shunpo, blades were crossed.
Far above, together with the waning moon, a few stars started to twinkle gently. They knew their glow would soon be hindered by the full moon that would surely come next.
"Reap, Kazeshini."
Owari
Dark: Penny for your thoughts?
Review, please.