Hm so I love the marriage law trope. Some would say it's overused but it's still my favorite. I'm not a very good writer lol so no hard feelings if you all hate it. In fact, I don't think I've written anything creative that wasn't assigned in school. But I'd appreciate if no one purposely hurt my precious fweewings... lmbo
Hermione, Ginny, Harry, and Ron were waiting in a meeting room at the Ministry. The four of them received an Owl from the current Minister of Magic – Kingsley Shacklebolt – that there was an urgent matter that required their attendance. So here they were.
"What do you think they want," Ginny asked, twirling her hair in front of her face.
"Hell if I know," Ron shrugged. He was walking on the long meeting room table. "Maybe they've finally figured out they can't solve the current fuck up and want us to save them all over again."
Hermione rolled her eyes. Only Ron would walk on a Ministry meeting room table and think nothing of it.
"Well, something does need to be done," Harry commented, bored.
It's been two years since the Battle of Hogwarts and the fall of Voldemort. Initially, no one was concerned. A war had just happened, and of course people needed time to heal. But after a while, it was noticed that there was still a decline. The wizarding population of Britain was dangerously low. The Ministry had been rolling out incentives for becoming pregnant such as monthly allowances and larger tax breaks; however, nothing worked.
"I don't see what they can do," Hermione sat with her arms crossed. "The government cannot simply force people to have more children."
The door opened, and the four of them turned to see who it was.
"The bloody hell is the ferret and his goon doing here?" Ron asked from on top of the table.
Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy had walked in. The two of them sat down on the far end of the table. "Apparently, not only did his parents breed like animals they raised them as such too," Zabini drawled, leaning back in his chair with his hands in his pockets.
Ron hopped off the table. "What did you say about my parents you arrogant sod?"
Zabini was only able to raise a brow before Minister Shacklebolt arrived. He cleared his throat. "Please take a seat, Mr. Weasley," he requested as he took his place in front of the room.
Ron muttered something angrily but took a seat nonetheless.
"Why were we called here Minister Shacklebolt," Hermione asked politely.
"Yeah and why were these two nimrods invited as well," Ginny added, jerking her thumb towards the two Slytherins.
"I will be getting…"
The entire room turned their attention to the double doors that were pushed open by a magically produced gust of wind. Pansy strutted in. Her stilettos clicking on the floor, her chin-length hair bounced with each step, and her over-sized sunglasses prevented the others from seeing her roll her eyes at them.
"Okay fives," she looked at Hermione. "And the 4 1/2, a ten is here," she declared as she walked over and sat next to Draco. "You may continue wasting our time," she placed her sunglasses on top of her head and propped her feet on the table.
Those who were on the right side of the war all simultaneously either rolled their eyes or groaned. The two Slytherins remained unfazed as they have grown used to Pansy's personality.
"Pansy," Blaise drawled. "Must you always make such a dramatic entrance?"
"Of course," she scoffed. "It would be oh so drab to merely walk in looking clueless like I'm sure those four do," she jerked her chin towards the former Gryffindors
"Now that we're all here," Minister Shacklebolt said, giving Pansy a look of censure. "I will cut to the chase. The Ministry has decided on a course of action for the current population issue. It has been decided that a marriage law will be put in place. And you all will be the firsts to participate in hopes to encourage morale between the differing social and blood statuses."
The room was deathly quiet. No one knew quite what to say. Ron sat there with his mouth open. Blaise merely frowned. Pansy was examining her freshly manicured nails, and Ginny was picking at her bitten ones. Harry and Draco were the only ones merely sitting there waiting for Shacklebolt to say something more. Harry felt that he simply had no more fight left in him and Draco, well Draco had other motives.
Hermione was the first to break the silence by clearing her throat and standing up. "Shacklebolt, I will ask that you recall the Battle of Hogwarts. You were dueling two death eaters simultaneously when a third death eater was poised to send the killing curse towards you from behind. I saw this and sent my own killing curse. If I didn't, you would have died. Therefore, you owe me a life debt, and I am calling it in."
"Bloody hell," Ron said, impressed. "She always finds a way out.
"I keep track of all my life debts Ms. Granger and because the council accounted for each and every life debt that was owed to you three we made sure that at least half owed you none. The marriage law will still go into effect."
"How diligent of you; however, how do you know I wasn't going to ask you to run arse naked across the Quidditch field while smacking your arse and yelling that Hermione Granger saved this arse from certain doom?"
Ginny slow clapped. "I don't think I've ever heard you say 'arse' so many times in one sentence."
"Granger's attempting to punish us all," Malfoy had a disgusted look on his face as if he had imagined it.
"Hermione this is no time for jokes," Shacklebolt said, upset.
"Oh I don't know Minister," Ginny said, tapping her finger on her chin. "The Harpies are looking for a good halftime show."
Hermione took her seat. "I assure you I am not joking. If I am paired with the great white ferret or his lackey in the name of 'morale', then I will be calling in not only your life debt but the life debts of every person who had a hand in this."
Pansy scoffed, her feet still resting on the table. "Oh, you insufferable slag. You should be so lucky. At least with these two, you'd be getting a man with wealth, social standing, and pedigree. My choices are the male Raggedy Anne doll and the boy scar head wonder."
"And speaking of which," Pansy looked around the room. "Why are there more men than women?"
"Harry has been paired with Daphne Greengrass who could not make it, but she has already been informed."
Pansy slammed her feet down to the ground and slammed her hands on the table. "Do NOT tell me I'm with the boy raggedy Anne doll!" She shrieked. Draco touched her arm and told her to compose herself. To which she took his hand in hers and threw it back to him. She did compose herself though.
"Now with that being said, let's get on to the rest of the pairings," Shacklebolt said, taking a breath. He knew they would not like this. "Ms. Parkinson you are indeed with Ronald. Ginny, you will be with Blaise, so that means…"
"What the fuck," Hermione said, deadpan.
Shacklebolt gave her a look. "And of course, Hermione and Draco."
Ron and Harry immediately stood up and started to argue Hermione's pairing.
"How could you make 'mione marry that prat," Ron shouted. "He did nothing but torture her! And speaking of torture did you even consider the word that was carved into her fucking arm!"
"I never would have expected this from you Kingsley," Harry chimed in. "We fought together. Hermione saved you. And you throw her into a pit of snakes?"
The three former Slytherins sat back and let the insults roll off their backs.
Pansy was once again looking at her nails and commented nonchalantly, "I suppose I'll have to start planning the wedding," she had a look of distaste. "I suppose red could be a nice accent color to the wedding. I look good in red, and my future husband is red."
"How exciting," Draco said, sounding bored. "I imagine my mother will plan mine. Hopefully, Granger doesn't mind an over the top wedding."
"As if she would even deserve it," Pansy remarked.
"At least the Weasley girl is nice to look at," Blaise said, leaning forward, putting his elbows on his legs. "Sexy even. Can't say I have many complaints."
Pansy looked disgusted at his assessment and Draco rolled his eyes.
"Yes yes," Draco drawled. "You got the sexy professional Quidditch player. While I got the annoying harpy. Congratulations."
Blaise turned his attention to Hermione who was still fervently arguing with Shacklebolt. "Granger too. Maybe not sexy but traditionally beautiful. Well, if you fix the hair that is. Honestly, you could do worse."
Ginny got a wicked glint in her eyes. She stood up and called attention to the room. "I, for one, will be looking forward to this union," she turned to Blaise. "Zabini, I expect that your reputation precedes you and that you will successfully screw me until I can no longer stand," she turned and smiled at Ron before sitting back down.
"3, 2, 1," she counted.
"Whaaat?!" Ron screamed. "Don't you dare lay a hand on her Zabini!"
As he ranted nonsensically, Ginny burst into laughter. "FOUR SHADES! He's turned four shades of red!"
Pansy watched as the girl Weasley laughed at her brother's ranting. "I think I could be friends with that one," she said to Draco and Blaise.
Harry noticed how nonchalant all of them were being. "Why aren't any of you upset with this?"
"Oh, we are," Blaise said calmly. "We just have the self-respect to not make a scene. And besides, arranged marriages are common enough. This is no different."
"You're the best of them aren't you," Hermione asked bluntly, realizing that Blaise might be slightly more mature than the other two.
"Blaise is an insatiable little deviant," Pansy said. "Don't be greedy and be happy with Draco."
"No offense, but I don't see how anyone could be happy with any of you," Ron muttered miserably.
"To be offended," Pansy said loudly. "I would have to value the opinion of a maggot. Which I assure you, I do not."
Shacklebolt sighed, "It's going to be a long day," he thought, tiredly.