Hoo boy. This was waaay later than I promised, and still you guys waited. I'm incredibly sorry about the wait. What ended up happening was that every time I tried to rewrite the plot, I hated how it came out. It was aggravating. So really, I am not too happy about this rewrite as is, but if I keep putting it off, it will never get done.
And I owe all of you loyal readers who waited for….erm, probably best if I don't actually give the amount of time….anywho, thanks and here is the long awaited rewrite of Hello, You Just Died!
Silence. It was glorious and beautiful and every other positive adjective imaginable. It was a blessed item of true purity, and Toni reveled in the peaceful quiet. She restrained from peeling her eyes open to see her clock, not wanting to have the acid green numbers burned into her retinas at the unknown time of the morning.
"Gooooooood Morning, Sweetie!" The hideous warbling of the dream destroyer ripped through Toni's pleasant morning haze, as the door to her room slammed open. In flounced a mess of auburn hair and well matched clothing, which now that Toni thought about it, was an oxymoron. How could one be well put together and still a mess? Listening to her mother's cheery humming as her curtains were thrown open, Toni mentally shrugged. She was too sleepy to think straight, apparently.
"Sweetie," Julia crowed, spinning in a circle. "It's time to get up! If we don't leave in twenty minutes, we'll be late!" Toni lunged from the bed, stumbling slightly before careening into the hallway. Twenty minutes to get ready, have breakfast and become a social human being.
That was not okay.
Fumbling through her morning routine—makeup, bathroom, shower, and breakfast, though not in that order—Toni sailed out the front door into the 2011 Prius. It only took moments before she raced back inside to grab her suitcase, her parents watching all the while.
"It's the Witwicky blood," Julia smirked, looking over at her husband. He just looked at her, and shook his head. It would have done no good to point out that their daughter was a near mirror image of her mother. No good at all.
That said, they had no idea where she got her athletic ability. Both of them were plumper than average and quite content with that fact. "Heath, are you listening to me?" Heath tuned back into his wife, nodding solemnly. Never let her know.
The small car pulled into the picturesque neighborhood, and onto the driveway of the picturesque house. Toni bounced in her seat. It had been almost a month since she had last talked to her cousin, and over a year since they had met in person. It was agonizing for her; Sam was her favorite person to hang with. He was just so spastic!
As soon as the Prius stopped, both females threw themselves out of the car. "Ronnnny!" Julia screeched, latching onto her brother-in-law as Judy and Heath watched in amusement. Toni whipped her head around, looking for Sam.
"Where is he? I thought he would be here with you," Toni asked, keeping the disappointment from her voice admirably. It stung a bit that Sam, her favorite person in the world, who was related to her, by blood, would not be there to meet her. Judy smiled, knowing Toni's thoughts.
"He's in the garage, hunnie. He had a late night last night, what with being arrested." This was said in a far too relaxed manner, and Toni looked carefully at Judy's eyes. Yup. High as a kite. That said, what the heck could SAM of all people have done to get arrested? Also, wasn't two in the afternoon? Was he just now getting up? Toni had many questions about this.
As the adults moved into the house, Toni slipped towards the garage. Before the seventeen year old could enter however, Sam came flying out of the garage on a baby doll pink bike that Toni recognized faintly as Judy's, followed by a bright yellow Camero.
Toni stood there blinking, watching the pair disappear down the street. Walking slowly back into the house, she called out, "Hey, Uncle Ron?" His head appeared around the corner. "Mind if I borrow the bike?" He smiled at her.
"I don't know why you ask, it is yours after all." Toni shrugged, before moving back out to the garage. Inside the pristine structure, Toni ripped the sheet off her motorbike. Originally it was a birthday gift after she had mentioned she wanted to get into MotorCross but after a bit it became a fixture at Sam's house, due to storage issues at her own home. Toni took in the stylized dragons on the handlebars and smiled. Sam had thought it would be cool to have dragons on the bike, and thirteen year old Toni had agreed. Man, they were such dorks as kids.
Slipping on her helmet, which was not stylized but a solid black—they had chosen to stick with the classics there—Toni took off down the street. After about ten minutes, she was exasperated. The town wasn't that big; where was Sam?
A girlish scream echoed out of a nearby building. "We're gonna die!" Toni tilted her head; found him. Turning her bike, Toni stopped, engine purring beneath her. The yellow Camero from before was being chased by the Cop Car from Hell, her wussy cousin and a girl inside screaming. I don't remember eating any of Aunt Judy's brownies.
Gunning her engine—because even if that was legitimate law enforcement, which she sincerely doubted, that was still her family—Toni raced after the cars. She caught up just outside of an electrical plant, and she parked her bike on the hill above it. She stood stock still as the yellow Camero ejected the pair of humans inside and stood up. There was no other way to describe it. It just. Stood. Up.
No really, did I eat one of the brownies? I really don't remember, but…. THAT is a giant robot. An adorable one, but a robot nonetheless. Her thoughts stuttered to a halt as the Cop Car from Hell transformed into a substantially less cute robot, and initiated a giant robot death match. Toni had to take a moment to reevaluate her life, nearly missing the homicidal minibot that tried to kill Sam.
It didn't miss her though. Frenzy would remember the shadowed figure standing on the hillside, watching the fight. It reminded him eerily of the way Nobles would watch the gladiator fights on Cybertron, before the Great War began.
Toni watched incredulously as Sam got his ass kicked by a tiny robot no bigger than a toddler. Well, it was a toddler armed with blades but still, the point remained. Before she could intervene, the girl with Sam had taken a saw—which Toni had no idea where she had gotten that from—and began mauling the bot. Toni felt a spark of pride when Sam punted the robot's head, the arc being beautiful. She knew he had gotten something out of her football lessons.
It was about then that Toni also realized Sam wasn't wearing pants. What the hell had happened?
Okay, so I only cover about half of the original chapter but that's fine. Just wait two seconds for the next one to be up. NOTE: THESE ARE PILOT CHAPTERS. IF THE RESPONSE IS NOT GOOD, I WILL NOT CONTINUE WITH THIS STORY.
That said, if I do get a good response and continue, there are some major changes to construction of this story. Overall plot will be the same, but with less plot holes and general idiocy.
To note in this chapter, Toni may have some different physical attributes. I couldn't find any indication of her appearance in my story (whoops?) so I'll be going off a basic template with some minor additions. She'll be fleshed out better as well, and is now 17, to avoid creepiness in later chapters. Also, no forgetting the parents this time. That's very important.
I hope you guys review. It would make me very happy.