Gamkar Confessions

by kem1182

Read it to find out what its about. My first fic so be nice people. Obviously Homestuck and the characters in this story belongs to Hussie not me. WARNINGS include slash, yaoi, M/M, foul/strong language, and OOCness. Sorry I need to work on staying in character really badly. I may add on other chapters if enough people want me to. Didnt know where to stick this stuff. Plz R&R. 3

Karkat POV

I don't know when or where it started. Perhaps it was always there deep down. We are morails but... I don't feel pale for him anymore. I feel red for him. That idiot. I am so flushed for him it hurts. I don't think I can hide it much longer, though he seems completely oblivious. Gog, that damn fuckass and what he does to me. I love him. I love everything about him, his unruly hair, his dopey grin brought on by all the damn pies he eats, his shitty vocabulary, his constant optimism, and how he's so tall. I've always had a thing for tall guys. He's perfect except for when he's sober. He's everything im not. Why the fuck does the damn juggalo put up with me? Its blatantly obvious he's head over heels for Tavros. The stuttering paraplegic is easier to put up with anyway. I know one day Gamzee will have enough of me and leave me just like everyone else has. He will never love me the way I love him. Oh well, a fucker can dream can't he?

Gamzee POV

That grumpy little motherfucker is adorable. Much more so than even Tavbro whom I used to have a little flush crush on. He is cute and all but I have my eyes set on something much cuter than him. I have always been his morail though and he probably will never think of me as anything more than that. Karbro is so cute, especially in his oversized black sweater with his little cancer symbol on it, his constant grumpiness, his soft side that he rarely shows, and those very rare times when he smiles its like a motherfucking miracle. But when he says how terrible he is and how no one could love him, it makes me want to scream out that I motherfucking love him, I always have, and I always will. That I have been here all along right in front of him. But I don't because I'm afraid he will reject my feelings and wont want anything to do with me. I would do anything for him. Hell, I've even been weaning myself off this gogdamn sopor for him, knowing that he gets irritated with my slowness of thought and lack of clarity on the stuff. Now everything is so much clearer and easier. I honestly couldn't live if he rejected me. I couldn't live without him. He's the one thing that truly keeps me sane in this crazy place. He's the one ray of sunshine in my darkened world. Today I will tell him just how much he means to me and if he rejects me I will wither away into nothing. Today its all or nothing.

Karkat POV

I hear my computer buzz signaling I am receiving a message from whoever the fuck. Grumbling to myself I roll over to see that Gamzee started pestering me on pesterchum. What the everliving fuck does he want now. Im busy thinking about him.

Terminallycapricious (TC) started pestering Carcinogeneticist

TC: HeY kArBrO. :o)

CG: WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK DO YOU WANT CG:NOW GAMZEE.

TC: cAn I cOmE oVeR? hOnK :o)

CG: WHY THE HELL NOT. BRING THE WHOLE CG:FUCKING WORLD TO WITNESS MY FAILURE OF CG: AN EXISTENCE.

TC: yOuR nOt A fAiLuRe KaR. :o(

TC: rEmEmBeR mOtHeRfUcKiNg SmIlEs AnD sHiT lIkE TC: tHaT bRo. HoNkHoNk :o)

CG: I SWEAR IF IT WASNT FOR YOUR LITTLE CG:'ANGER ISSUES' I'D KNOCK YOU RIGHT OUT OF CG:YOUR GOGDAMN SOPOR INDUCED EUPHORIA.

TC: aW yOu DoN't ReAlLy MeAn ThAt BrO. :o(

TC: aNyWaY i'M gOnNa AlL uP aNd GeT oVeR tHeRe. TC:hOnKhOnK :o)

Terminallycapricious (TC) ceased pestering Carcinogeneticist (CG)

Dear gog, I'm blushing like a madman. I sit there for a while pondering what Gamzee wants to come over for because normally he would just barge right in uninvited. Knowing this Gamzee must have a good reason to ask to come over. I can hear the sound of footsteps approaching my always unlocked door. I hear an obnoxious knock at the door and an "OpEn Up MoThErFuCkEr". 'Geez wonder who that could be' I think sarcastically while rolling my eyes. I walk over and open the door to a tall dopey looking yet slightly intimidating clown themed troll with a huge grin plastered across his face and my heart skips a beat. "hEy ThErE bEsT fRiEnD". I gesture for Gamzee to come inside and I watch as he walks right in and casually plops down on the couch. I shut the door and follow Gamzee. "SO WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" I say coldly and glare at Gamzee with my arms crossed over my chest and my signature scowl on my face. "CaN't A mOtHeRfUcKeR vIsIt HiS bEsT fRiEnD wItHoUt AnY pArTiCuLaR rEaSoN?" Gamzee replies with a honk and the grin on his face cracking into an even wider one, obviously playing dumb. "GAMZEE, IF YOU JUST WANTED TO VISIT ME FOR NO REASON, THEN YOU WOULD HAVE JUST BUSTED RIGHT IN. SO SPILL IT FUCKASS." Curiosity is getting the better of me and I just want to know why he came over. "WeLl...I...i JuSt- I nEeDeD tO tElL yOu SoMeThInG iMpOrTaNt..." He's fumbling over his words. He never does that. Thats it. Gamzee has finally had enough of me. He doesn't want anything to do with a lowblood like me. Gamzee is trying to tell me he's ditching me for the other highbloods. It shouldn't hurt this much, but it still does. I can feel my heart crack in two. I sit there trying to force back the tears that are threatening to spill over."OH...I GET IT. YOU HAVE FINALLY HAD ENOUGH OF MY INCESSANT INSULTS A-AND YOU D-DON'T WANT TO BE MY MORAIL ANYMORE RIGHT?" There go my gog damn tears, though just a few. "WaIt No KaRbRo, ThAt'S nOt -" He jumps up from the couch and I mentally plead Gamzee to just stop and not make this any more painful. Tears start to crash down as I abruptly cut him off."I-ITS OK, I'LL S-SAVE YOU THE EFFORT. I K-KNEW ONE DAY YOU WOULD LEAVE ME TOO. *Sniff* I-ITS OK A-AND PLEASE DO SPARE ME YOUR PITY BECAUSE I DON'T NEED IT. IM A FREAK A-AND NO ONE COU -" Out of nowhere, well not really out of nowhere, Gamzee grabs my arms and pulls me to him successfully cutting off the rest of what I was going to say. He gets so close to my face that our foreheads are touching and looks me right in the eyes. "KaRkAt VaNtAs. DoN't YoU dArE sAy ThAt AbOuT yOuRsElF. yOu ArE nOt A fReAk. AnD...aNd I LoVe YoU. i'M sO mOtHeRfUcKiNg ReD fOr YoU, iT hUrTs. tHaTs AlL i Up AnD mOtHeRfUcKiNg WaNtEd To SaY bEfOrE. i WoUlD nEvEr LeAvE yOu. YoU mEaN tHe WoRlD tO mE" Gamzee continues as I observe him in shock, looking for a sign that all this is a joke. I have never neither heard Gamzee call me by my real name nor seen him so serious. As I am looking a him a blank look on my face but on the inside my heart has swollen to twice its normal size. Gamzee lets his hands fall to his side and averts his eyes. Gog I thought he was going to crush me with those fuckers he calls hands. "I uNdErStAnD iF yOu DoN't FeEl ThE sAmE." Gamzee says while nervously scratching the back of his neck and looking anywhere but at me. "i'Ll JuSt AlL uP aNd LeAvE nOw." He finishes looking sullen as if his whole world was crushed . I hate seeing Gamzee like that, the dead look on his face and the frown seem so foreign to me. I already miss his dopey but charming smile already. It doesn't suite him at all. I know Gamzee wasn't kidding because I can read him like a fucking book. Its shocking yet good to hear him say it. Never in a million years would I have thought that Gamzee felt the same. Realization suddenly hits me full on 'He loves ME?! Me of all trolls?' It feels like a million fireworks are exploding inside me, but in a good way. Gamzee turns making to head for the door to my hive. Now it my turn to grab his arm and pull him to me. "FUCKASS..." I mutter fully aware of the blush spreading across my face along with my constant scowl. Gamzee gives me a curious yet hopeful look. "KaR-" Stretching up on my tippy toes and craning my neck upwards while snaking my arms around his neck to pull him down, I crash our lips together silencing him. Oh, and its so much better than any of my romcoms made it out to be as well as the few kisses I have received from anyone before. Its like fucking magic.

Gamzee POV

I feel dead inside turning away from Karkat, probably for the last time. Then I feel a tiny hand grip onto my wrist and turn me around. At this I was regaining hope that maybe, Karkat was flushed for me too. He simply utters the word "FUCKASS" with his near permaneant yet still cute scowl plastered on his face along with crimson cheeks. "KaR-" Karkat then stands up on the tips of his toes and cranes his neck up towards me. I want to stand up straight and out of reach just to tease Karkat, but I know now is not the time to do so. Karkat slides his arms behind my neck and pulls me down to him and timidly kisses me. I grin widely against Karkat's nervous and chaste kiss and slither my arms around his thin waist pulling him to me and kissing back. It feels so right simply holding him and kissing him. The moment is perfect yet I still want- no I need to be closer to him. Karkat makes a noise of surprise when I suddenly lift him off the ground. I slide my hands lower to support him. Karkat wraps his legs around my waist and tightens his grip on my neck slightly. I slide my tongue across his lips then nibble at them asking permission to enter. Karkat's reply is a small gasp and opening his mouth for me to plunge my tongue into. I run my tongue over his, wrapping and curling around it. I can tell he is inexperienced with things like this due his lack of participation. Karkat lets out a small, shaky, moan but its they sweetest miracle I have ever heard. Karkat threads his fingers through my hair gripping and tugging at it slightly and it feels really, really good. Karkat starts moving his tongue having an idea about what he is supposed to do. Karkat pushes back against my tongue trying to gain entry. I let him in and he tries to mimic what I was doing. Its sloppy and messy but I don't care because its fucking Karkat and everything he does, to me, is amazing. But now its becoming harder to support both of our weights, so I walk into Karkat's respite block and set us down on his human bed which is right near his recooprecoon. Karkat was too busy eating out my face to notice I had brought us to his respite block. He reacted as soon as I set him on the human bed though. Karkat gasped lightly in surprise, his eyes shooting open, breaking the kiss and letting go of me to fall back onto the human bed scarlet red and panting hard. Motherfucking mirthful messiahs, its the most erotic thing I have ever seen. I get off the bed intending to lock the door when I feel that tiny hand again on my wrist again. "WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING? YOU BETTER NOT LEAVE ME FUCKASS." Panic and hurt lace in his voice mixing with his pants. I can't hold back a chuckle when I look down lovingly at him reply "ReLaX i WaS jUsT gOiNg To LoCk ThE dOoR. bUt... I gUeSs We CoUlD lEaVe ThE dOoR oPeN aNd GiVe AnYoNe WhO wAlKs In A sHoW." I look at Karkat with a smirk and wink. At this Karkat's blush spreads all the way from one pointed ear to the other pointed ear and turns an even darker red. His mouth is hanging agape and quivering, trying to find words."N-N-NOBODY WOULD BE W-WALKING AROUND IN MY HIVE FUCKASS." Oh how I love to tease the cute motherfucker. I get up and go to shut the door again, returning with "WeLl I dOn'T kNoW bRo CoNsIdErInG hOw yOu AlWaYs LeAvE yOuR dOoR uNlOcKeD." Turning back to him, I pull off my shirt and toss it aside. I find it amusing how Karkat is trying so hard not to stare but still fails miserably. I grin lecherously and pounce on him, pinning him to the bed. He lets out an undignified squeak trying to hide it, but I catch it anyway. "aWwWwW kArBrO yOu'Re So CuTe." I purr out while nuzzling his neck. His blush, which was almost gone, flares up again. "S-S-S-SHUT UP, F-FUCKASS." He stutters out. I grin widely, lean down, and kiss him passionately. He, once again, wraps his arms around my neck kissing back and actually grins back into the kiss.

Karkat POV

Gamzee pushes me back into the human bed and startes peppering my face with kisses while purring. Purring back, I places my hands lightly on his bare shoulders. Wait, where did his shirt go!? Oh, fuck it. I lay back and let Gamzee pepper my skin with light kisses purring loudly like a meowbeast and letting my eyes flutter shut. First the kisses were on the corner of my mouth, then my cheek, then trailing my jawbone. Gamzee turns my head to the side for easier access to my neck all the while continuing with the kisses. Gamzee bit down hard right on a really, really sensitive spot on my neck and I cut off mid-purr with an"AHNHHMM. GAMZEEEE."Gamzee smirks into my neck licking the wound, sucking it, marking me. I want to mark him too. I realize at this rate I will be just a moaning, submissive, whiney uke like in those weird human japanese things I once saw. I was fine with being the bottom, in fact I knew I would be with Gamzee. But I don't want to just lay there and let him do all the work. Gamzee must have noticed I was drifting off because he wasnt peppering me with kisses anymore and was almost pouting? at me. He is also tugging on my sweater which was obviously keeping him from what he wants. Snapping out of my thoughts with renewed vigor, a smirk,and a surge of confidence, I run my hands from his shoulders feather light down to his chest. Gamzee gives me a look of curiosity and cocks his head slightly to the side. With ease I push on his chest while simultaneously rolling over to the side. The result was me straddling Gamzee's waist, hands on either side of his head. Gamzee grins widely, teeth poking out slightly, leans up quick, and pecks me showing his approval of this new more dominating side of me. Growling playfully, I bite down hard on his neck a few times. He returns with groans and growls of his own that go straight to my bulge. Once satisfied with the amount and quality of the marks I left on him, at least for now, I lick lovingly over all of them. Then I sit up on Gamzee while he gives me a look filled with patience, lust, and love. I return the look and scoot down lower on him. I stop and blush deeply when I feel his want for me brush over my lower regions. My body reacts immediately, my bulge starting to come out searching for something to wrap around. Gamzee just grins wider flashing his sharp teeth at me and tucks his arms under his head. I just push myself up on my knees, lifting myself so I was hovering over him. I then proceeded to rip off his pants smirking at the sight of his bulge writhing around under his boxers, just as excited as my own. I get up off the bed and Gamzee tries to follow but I immediately push him back down by his long horns and a sharp growl. Gamzee complies still grinning and I stand up and pace a bit away from the human bed. Gamzee gives me a questioning look, his eyes widen once he realizes what I am going to do, a smirk playing across his lips. I then proceed to give him a show, stripping down to my boxers teasingly slow. I casually stride back to the bed and nonchalantly slip onto Gamzee's lap only to be taken by surprise when he flips our positions so he is on top again. I let out a squeak of surprise but settle into the new positioning with ease. Gamzee leans down while wedged in between my legs and half growls half purrs into my ear low and sexy, "tHiS iS yOuR fIrSt TiMe, RiGhT kAr?". I nod and blush deeply in response and he answers with "GoOd. I wAnT tO yOuR fIrSt AnD yOuR oNlY." and a sharp nip to my ear. I gasp and shudder at Gamzee's display of possessiveness. Suddenly, Gamzee grinds our hips hard and long against each other resulting in sounds of pleasure from both parties. "I'vE bEeN dReAmInG oF tHiS mOmEnT fOr SoOoOoOoOoOo LoNg KaR." Gamzee drawls out through groans and hard grinds of our hips. "ME TOO GAMZEE" I say as I lay there moaning and clutching tightly to the bedsheets. Good thing he can't see my face due to his neck being craned downwards. But I need him NOW, so I attempt to voice it between pants and moans "NGHHH...AH GAMZEE... NGH... PLEASE... NEED YOU... AHH... INSIDE...MMN".While saying this I grab him by the horns and tilt his head up so he can see just how much I need him. Gamzee's face is mere inches from mine. His eyes narrow with lust; he licks his lips hungrily and with a wide grin replies "CoUrSe MoThErFuCkEr". Before I can react, Gamzee yanks both our boxers off. Fuck, his bulge is huge, no way will that fit in me. Gamzee positions himself at my entrance, props himself up on his elbows placed on both sides of my head, and gives me a final questioning look. I nod and he says "ThIs Is GoNnA hUrT sO iM gOnNa Do It AlL iN oNe Go."and before I can protest he thrusts his bulge in all the way to the hilt. I scream then whimper at the mostly pain mixing with pleasure. Gamzee groans out "FuCk, KaRkAt, YoU'rE sO tIgHt." I glare at him and he apologizes. Gamzee makes to move but I stop him dead with "DON'T YOU DARE FUCKASS". I am still pissed, but he gives a look like a kicked puppy so I roll my eyes and say he can move but gently this time. Gamzee grins like an idiot and kisses the tip of my nose promising he will be gentle. He begins to thrust in and out lightly; it still hurts like a bitch. Gamzee grabs my bulge and it wraps around his hand and he starts pump in time with his shallow thrusts. The pain soon grows into pleasure and a chorus of moans, groans, and pants fill the room. Gamzee is close as was I am too but I want more. I wrap my legs around his waist, trying to get him deeper in me, through pants and moans I voice, "HAA... GAMZEE... FASTER...AHH! GAMZEE DON'T STOP!". Gamzee gives me questioning look at the last part, but realizes that he grazed my sweet spot and grants my requests. Gamzee went up higher on one arm, the other still pumping me, angling himself and pounding into to me harder and faster than before hitting my sweet spot dead on every time. I drag my claws down his back leaving deep marks but Gamzee growls in pleasure. His forehead is pressing against mine, he gazes deep into my eyes and I into his, and he pecks me light and quick. My horns are the only things protecting me from repeatedly banging my head against the headboard of the bed, and I know there will be a ton of scratches on it but at this point I don't care. I can feel the familiar tightening in my lower regions and know I will cum any moment now, "FUCK, GAMZEE...CUMMING". Gamzee replies with a "Me ToO." Not a few seconds later I paint our chests and stomachs with my red cum, Gamzee's name once again tearing from my lips. My back arching in pure bliss, I swear I can see stars as my vision momentarily goes white. I can feel my inner walls clamp down on Gamzee. He quickly follows buried deep inside my nook filling me to the brim with his purple cum whispering my name into my neck and I shudder at the feeling. We sit there for a moment coming down from our highs. I am so tired all of a sudden and I think Gamzee knew that. He pulls out of me with a light groan and a small moan from me. There is a loud banging on the wall behind us and I nearly jump out of my pants, oh wait, I'm not wearing any. The banging follows with an obnoxious voice that belongs to my asshole of a neighbor, "Hey, ya done fucking yet? I'm trying to sleep here with-" the ass cuts off midsentence

to ask tonights whore what her name is"-Adriana." The asshole completely ruined the moment I was having. Infuriated, I retort with "OH COME ON ASSHOLE. YOU'RE ONE TO COMPLAIN. THIS IS THE ONE TIME I HAVE EVER EVEN FUCKED IN MY OWN GOGDAMN APARTMENT. IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN EVER GET ANY SLEEP WITH YOU BRINGING HOME A NEW SLUT EVERY FUCKING DAY AND SCREWING TIL THE FUCKING COWS COME HOME, YOU DICK." There is the sounds of shuffling and arguing then the slamming of a door before the fuckass answers. "Thanks, assholes." "YOUR WELCOME, NOOKSUCKER." Fantastic, now I can barely keep my eyes open. Gamzee chuckles lightly at my little rant and I glare at him. I feel myself being lifted from the bed and carried somewhere bridal style but I'm to tired to care. As Gamzee carries me I curl my body towards him clinging to him lightly and purr tired and satisfied. Gamzee purrs and nuzzles my hair in response. I begin to drift off to the sound of running water and reverberations of Gamzee's purring in his chest. That is until I am carried into the water and its feels like fucking two degrees.

Gamzee POV

Poor Karkat all up and tuckered himself out, I am very tired myself but I don't want to wake up all sticky and I don't think he does either. So I pick him up bridal style and waddle off towards Katkat's ablution block. While I'm walking Karkat clings to me and purrs, aw what a cute motherfucker. I purr back and he seems to like the vibrations because he leans even closer into me. I turn on the water paying no mind to the temperature since it doesn't bother trolls as much as it would a human, and Karkat seems to drift off to the dual sounds. He is perfectly content until I walk us under the water. Karkat's eyes bug out as he yelps and jumps out of my arms and the water's reach, "THAT'S FUCKING FREEZING YOU A-ASS, WAY TO WAKE SOMEONE UP. YOU COULD HAVE JUST SHAKEN ME LIGHTLY OR SOMETHING." He sends me a nasty glare, I forgot about Karkat not being like other trolls. "SoRrY kAr", I apologize and quickly turn the temperature up to about eighty five degrees warming it up immediately. I take Karkat's hand and pull him flush against my chest trying to warm him. Karkat places his hands lightly on my chest, leaning his head sideways against it once again purring. I purr back loudly and kiss the top of his head right in between his nubby horns. I scratch at one of Karkat's horns lightly and his purr grows louder, claws running lightly down my chest only to raise back up again. I tilt Karkat's chin upward and press my lips to his, my makeup washing away and mixing into the kiss. He drags his hands up to card through my hair tugging at the ends lightly. A grin cracks across Karkat's mouth at my responsive growl low in my throat. I slip my arms low around his waist and tug him closer. He is the first to pull back gasping lightly. We are inches away and our breathes mingle. The water runs down us washing away my makeup and dried genetic material. We stand there, bonded, gazing deep into each other's eyes. We don't need words, we just stand there comfortably, holding each other. Karkat's eyes look heavy with the need for sleep so I quickly wash us. When he protests saying he can wash himself, I only shoosh him and continue washing. The whole time Karkat wears a deep blush. When we are done showering I grab us a single towel and dry him off first, then myself. I pick Karkat up bridal style and walk out of his ablution block not caring that we are both butt naked. I stop in my tracks when I hear him say, "I LOVE YOU, GAM" looking me dead in the eyes waiting for a response. My heart skips a beat and for once in my life I feel complete. I grin happily at the nickname. "I lOvE yOu ToO, kAr", I say while nuzzling him. I whisper a single question into his neck, "KaR?", "YEAH GAM", "wIlL yOu Be My MaTeSpRiT?". Karkat looks me in the eyes completely sure of his answer,"OF COURSE, GAMZEE." I purr into his neck absolutely delighted and he responds with a purr of his own, wrapping his arms around my neck lightly. I walk us to Karkat's recooprecoon and lower him into the sopor. Following him into the healing goo, I snake my arms around his back clutching him to me. Karkat in turn wraps his arms around me, rests his head against my chest, and drifts off. I doze off with him safe and soundly into a dream for once plagued not with demons and darkness, but my new matesprit.