Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan.
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Sometimes I see him in my dreams
The chapel was silent as she made her way down the aisle, her small hand in her father's slightly larger one, he wearing an expression of sadness while she, wore one of happiness. Her smile was so wide and at one point she couldn't help but wonder if the smile was fake. No, it couldn't be. I mean...it was her wedding day, right?
That question couldn't leave her lips.
It's as if we're sixteen again...young and naïve. His voice is soothing and familiar; it almost makes me wish that I didn't have to wake up. We stand alone in an empty chapel bathed in comfortable silence
Everybody she knew was there. The now grownup detective boys, her mother, her best friend, the professor, the officers and of course-
Edogawa Conan.
There was an unreadable expression on his face as he observed her slowly stride down the aisle in a snow white wedding dress, all the frills and lace sweeping the ground behind her when she walked. Something lingered in his gaze as his eyes followed her, the intensity nearly burning a hole through her skull.
Ran shrugged the feeling off and tried to concentrate on what stood in front of her. Her father tugged slightly on her arm when he realized that he could go no further; Ran gave him a small smile before the warmth of her father's hands disappeared. This was it. She swallowed all the thoughts back into her mind and took one step forward, traversing up the short stairwell to her husband-to-be.
He looks exactly how I last saw him, in that ratty old green jacket he wore to the amusement park. I momentarily forget about what's waiting for me in the real world and take his offered hand
Araide-sensei is dressed smartly, his hair neatly gelled and his black tux glimmering brightly under the light from the colored glass. As soon as Ran's feet land on the last step, he extends his hand to her and she takes it without a sound. There's dust everywhere and she wonders when the last time was that anyone had cleaned this place.
Araide looks at her with a sweet expression and she forces herself to do the same. The tension in her eyes must have been mistaken for one of impatience because her soon to be husband threw the priest a quick glance, begging for the ceremony to finish as quickly as possible.
We walk silently through the chapel –his hand in mine- and I blink before the clothes we both wear disappear and change. He, dressed handsomely in a black tux, tells me I look beautiful. I barely hold the smile tugging at my lips
The priest responds with a knowing grin and proceeds with the ceremony. All sounds cease as he spouts the words of devotion and love off a book, which makes her slightly weary. Her mind drifts off to her safe place, where she is sixteen with no worries and responsibilities and wishes that he was here by her side. A bittersweet smile graces her lips and is gone as fast as it came.
Ran curls her manicured fingers around Araide's rough ones, taking note of the rough skin between his fingers that would never be there if he was a detective. A lump forms in her throat but she pushes it down. Now is not the time, she tells herself. Today is her wedding day. The happiest day of her life. Yes, the happiest day of her life.
Shinichi carefully leads me to the altar, a smirk on his features as he watches my feet clumsily trip over themselves. I blush and grip his hands even tighter, as if he was a ghost who could sip through my fingers
The vows are made and he turns to Ran, slipping on a gleaming silver ring on her finger while she does the same for him. The air suffocates her slowly, wringing the breath out of her when he leans down and captures her lips to seal their sacred vow. Ran notices that his body doesn't fit hers perfectly but brushes that thought away before kissing him back. Time seemed to stop for that moment and some dark part of her wanted to take it all back; to do start anew.
But of course, wishes didn't come through without a fairy godmother. Even then she wasn't a princess, just a woman going through what all women did at least once in their lives. It didn't feel any special then it when she won a karate match and stood in the middle of the mat with her fist raised. Was this supposed to feel special? She wondered.
Our lips meet in a flurry of passion and I can't help but think that it feels so right. When we both split apart the image of his handsome smiling face is burned in my eyelids and we go in for another kiss before my eyelids flutter open and-
"I love you Ran." Her heart speeds up for a single minute before the image in front of her changes and it is Araide in front of her, not him. It is not him, it was never him. Ran tries to muster some sort of response but no words form in her throat. Thankfully the crowd cheers with excitement and interrupts their moment. They are ushered into a large white limo with the sign 'Just Married' hanging at the back and she is suddenly whisked away into the oblivion.
Night comes quickly and she soon realizes that they are having an after wedding celebration, her parents in one corner with the inspector and her best friend conversing animatedly with the detective boys in the other. Araide is sipping his champagne politely while exchanging words with Haibara Ai as they discuss the recent technological advances in the medical industry.
Ran suddenly feels like a stranger and decides to slip out to get a breath of fresh air. She does just that. The moon is eerily large tonight, she mumbles to herself as she walks along the edge of a pond filled with koi. So deep in her thoughts, she never sees a shadow approaching her from the back. "Hey Ran-nee-chan." The man greets, his breath so near her ears that it nearly makes her deliver a roundhouse kick to said man's face. "Oh, it's you Conan." She says in relief and delivers him a lengthy monologue on sneaking up on girls at night. He chuckles which irritates her more and with a huff she grabs his hands and tugs him along.
Conan silently follows and walks next to her, their bodies so close that she can almost feel the pulsing warmth radiating off his skin. Ran shivers slightly. He takes off his jacket and puts it over her shoulders without a word. She thanks him and snuggles deep into the blue fabric of the jacket. She likes his scent. It reminds her of old dusty novels and coffee; pleasing to her senses unlike the smell of bleach and latex gloves which her husband stinks of.
They bask in each other's presence, their shadows melting into a singular form under the glow of moonlight. They unconsciously move closer together. When she concentrates on her surroundings once more, Ran lets out a tiny gasp as her feet trip over the other and is buried in conan's chest when he moves to catch her. The smell of coffee and daisies flood into her nose and she pushes herself away to prevent herself from doing something stupid.
He watches her, amusement dancing in his eyes as her face is dyed scarlet from embarrassment. She makes the mistake of looking up and feels her soul get sucked into his orbs of lapis lazuli; and reaches out to grab his shirt. Conan is stunned for a moment but with a sudden careless decision, he leans down and presses his lips to hers. Time stopped.
Her mind registers that he tastes sweet, and she leans in just a little more. It was as if this would be the last time they ever saw each other and that thought made Ran wrap him a little closer to her. But the moment was over a little too soon and left her wanting. Before she could even utter a word Conan let out a bitter laugh. It sounded hoarse, sad– lonely. "That was a goodbye kiss, Ran-nee-chan." His face betrayed no emotion but his eyes were raging.
I wake up. The dream replays in my head and every time I close my eyes, he is waiting with a smile just for me. It haunts my nights because the dream never ends. But I never want it to end...because then I would be alone.
His voice was shaking and Ran felt a small part of her wither away. "Its getting late Ran-nee-chan. I have to go."
Ran could only watch as his slowly walked away, every bone in her body screaming to stop him, just stop him. And then he was gone. She was left alone, with only his blue jacket and his lingering scent. Something in her broke. Unshed tears finally burst through and fell from her eyes like a never ending waterfall. She wept alone, with nothing but his jacket that reminded her of him.
When I close my eyes that night I am not greeted by him. I stand all alone in the chapel and wait, and wait and wait. But he never appears again.
That was when I realized, that the dream had finally ended.
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A/N:
I feel so sad after writing this. I have no idea what came over me. The dream monologue was inspired by one episode of the golden girls, where blanche dreams of that her dead husband was alive. Forgive me for not updating my other stories but writing this instead! Well I hope you review! Thanks for reading.