Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural! But I do love to borrow them! :)
A special thanks to AlElizabeth for beta'ing my story!
A/N: Happy Birthday, doyleshuny! I hope this is what you were looking for! :)
Summary: Sometimes the biggest sacrifices are the hardest to make.
Tag: Set after 8-23 Sacrifice
Fixing What is Broken
Dean carried Sam back to the bunker. He didn't know where else to go. Sam was sick, but he also knew that he couldn't take him to the hospital. Sam didn't like hospitals and Dean didn't want to traumatize Sam any more by taking him there.
Dean laid Sam down on his bed and took off Sam's boots. He grabbed Sam's legs and hoisted them onto the bed. Dean walked out of the room and headed to Sam's room.
Sam woke up and realized that he wasn't in the Impala anymore. He was in the bunker. More especially Dean's room. He looked around, he started to feel panic.
"D'n." Sam called out. Though very weak, he tried again. "D'n. D'n."
Dean came back in his room with a blanket on his arm and a tray that had water and crackers on it. When Dean saw that Sam was awake, he rushed into the room and put the tray on the nightstand beside the bed and went straight to Sam.
"Sammy," Dean said. "Sammy, what's wrong?"
"Where were you?" Sam asked.
Dean grabbed the duvet that he brought in the room and covered up Sam.
"Dean," Sam said.
"Yeah, Sammy," Dean said pulling the chair that was by his desk closer towards the bed.
"What are we going to do?"
"What are you talking about?" Dean sat down.
"I'm dying," Sam said tears pricking his eyes.
"No." Dean said. "No you're not. Not on my watch."
"D'n" Sam slurred out. His eyes half closed almost like he's fighting unconsciousness.
"Sam," Dean sitting up and putting his hand on Sam's shoulder. "Go to sleep. Tell me when you wake up."
"But, D'n-"
"Sleep Sam," Dean sat back in the chair and watched Sam close his eyes. But he could see that Sam was still fighting. Dean got up and sat on the side of the bed next to Sam. His head turned and faced Dean, but his eyes didn't open. Dean could see his brother's brow creasing. He moved Sam's hair from his face and with his thumb he began smoothing his brow. Just gently sliding his thumb from one side of Sam's forehead to the other. Slowly Sam's brow smoothed out and his breathing actually evened out. Dean smirked. It didn't matter if his baby brother was five, fifteen, twenty-five or thirty, Dean would always know what will get Sammy to go to sleep. Once Dean was satisfied that Sam was down for the count, he got up from the bed and placed himself back in the chair.
Later that evening:
Dean got up and walked into the library. There he saw the two tablets on the table. When he saw those, he realized that dealing with Sam since they got back he hadn't notice that Kevin wasn't even there. He thought back to bringing Sam here and that's when he realized it. On the end of the table was the key that he had given Kevin before Sam started the third trial. 'Sonofabitch', Dean thought.
Faintly he began to hear the sounds of AC/DC, he knew his phone was ringing. He headed back to his bedroom. When he got there, he found his phone in his jacket. He flipped it opened but didn't put it to his ear yet. He checked on Sam and wanted to make sure he didn't wake. When he saw that Sam didn't stir, he put the phone to his ear.
"Yeah," Dean said walking out of the room again. "Where are you? No. No. I can't."
Dean was now back in the library. "I'm not leaving Sam here alone...Well, I don't know...If you had listened to me...Now your in Montana...Then I guess, Cas you're going to have to wait. Sam comes first. And right now, I have to stay with him." Dean closed the phone. All he asked was that people would listen to him. He told Cas to leave it. Don't go up there. But he was so dead set on fixing things and now they are a hundred times worse. 'Please can you pick me up?' Cas's question still burning in his ears. Dean just shook his head. He wanted to help his friend but he wasn't coming before Sam. Right now Sam needs him and here is where he is going to stay.
Dean walked back into the bedroom. After thirty years of watching this boy, he could always tell the subtle changes in Sam that he knew that he was waking up. Dean pocketed his phone and walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. He saw that Sam had his face scrunched up like he was in pain. Dean put his hand on his chest to ground him. When Sam was younger and he would have nightmares, Dean would put his hand on his chest and rubbed it to let Sam know that it was only a dream and that all he had to do to get away from what ever was hurting him in the dream was to open his eyes. To this day it still worked, but there was something else that Dean felt when he put his hand on Sam's chest. This something totally scared him. Even though Sam had been laying in this bed now for about an hour and a half, his heart is racing like he just ran a marathon. Leaving his hand on Sam's chest he reached up and placed two fingers on the crook of Sam's neck trying to get conformation for himself; this is not good. He starts rubbing Sam's chest harder.
"Come on, Sammy," Dean had a little panic in his voice. "Sammy you got to wake up."
Sam starts to whimper but still doesn't wake. Then if it wasn't bad timing, his phone rings. Dean ignores it and continue to focus on Sam. Still trying to wake him. Dean's phone rings again. Again he ignores it. Whoever it is on the phone will learn a hard lesson today, nothing comes in front of his baby brother. When the phone rings again, Dean, still having his hand on his baby brother's chest, pulls the phone out of his pocket with all the intentions of throwing it across the room and smashing it. But he looks at the screen and he couldn't believe it. He looked over Sam and then looked down at the caller ID on his phone.
"Impossible," Dean said not removing his hand from his brother's chest. Dean looked at the screen again and saw that it said 'Sam.'
Dean opened up the phone and put it to his ear.
"Well, you're a hard man to get in touch with."
Dean instantly recognized the voice on the other end.
"Metatron," Dean said standing up, pure disdain in his voice.
"Yes, Dean."
"You lied. What's going on with Sammy?"
"Well, I see that he didn't close the gates of Hell. That's unfortunate."
"Tell me how to fix this!"
"He should have finished the trials."
"It would have killed him."
"Yes, and the gates of Hell would be closed, but you stopped him. Take one last look at your brother, he's still dying."
"No! Fix it. I know you can fix this."
"Your brother's heart is going a mile a minute. I wonder how long he will survive. The human heart can't take that. No matter how big of a heart they have."
"You sonofabitch," Dean could feel the tears forming behind his eyes.
"Now Dean..."
"You could fix this," Dean said sitting back down next to Sam.
"Yes. Yes I could. But I can't."
"Can't or won't!"
"Listen Dean, I know what's going to happen. There is no way you can stop me or make me do this. But I will say this. I am a sucker for a good story so I'll tell you this. I am going against my better judgment and I am going to fix your brother."
Dean could feel the relief wash over him from head to toe when he heard that.
"But there is a catch," Metatron said.
"Catch," Dean blurted. "What catch?"
"If you want me to fix your brother. Make him whole again. No pain. No hurts. No hangups. Then you have to do this one little small itsy bitsy tiny thing."
"What is it?" Dean had a bad horrible feeling in the deepest part of his soul on this one.
"You must lose all contact with your brother."
Dean couldn't believe what he just heard. He looked down at his brother. No. There was no way he could just leave his brother. Ever.
"What did you just say," Dean didn't want to believe what he heard.
"You heard me. You must say goodbye to your brother. You two have been in each other's pocket since he was born. I want a new story. The traveling siblings thing is getting old. I want something new. And I have a feeling that you will take my offer. It's either you two separate or Sam dies. Your choice."
Dean looks down at his brother. Tears flowing from his eyes. He looks in Sam's face and sees all the times they were together. The ups. The downs. He sees Sam shooting for innocence when he gives him the last of the Lucky Charms. He sees a boy that followed him everywhere. Even when he wasn't suppose to. A boy that went through so much just to go to college.
Dean raised this boy and now in order to save his life he has to sever all ties with him. Dean's heart was breaking into millions of pieces. All the driving around they did. The different motels, diners, pranks all the jobs they've done. Dean didn't know what hurt more; Sam being dead, being in hell, or this. FREAKING THIS! Dean knew what he had to do. He hated himself for it, but he knew what he had to do.
"So what will the answer be."
Dean forgot he still had the phone to his ear. He looked at it as if it was a foreign object and then put it back to his ear.
"Okay," Dean hoarsely said. It was almost inaudible.
"I'm sorry, I didn't get that."
"Okay, you sonofabitch!" Dean cried out. "Fix my baby brother."
"When Sam wakes up, he will feel like a million bucks. There will be no ailments at all. He will be just like he was. And to show I'm not a total dick once he wakes you will have one hour with him. Just one hour."
"What am I suppose to do with just one hour?"
"Be grateful. I could have said leave now. One hour."
The phone went dead. Dean lowered the phone and looked at his brother. "You must lose all contact with your brother." That all that was playing over and over in his head like a broken record. He looked down at Sam. He put his hand back on his chest and he felt it. He put two fingers at the crook of his neck and could feel his pulse beating normal and strong. Though teary eyed, he smiled. Dean got up and grabbed his duffel. He began to pack, stealing glances at Sam while he slept. Once he packed everything he sat down at the desk and wrote a letter to Sam. It turned out to be the hardest letter he ever had to write. When he was finished, he sealed it up and left the room.
Dean put his duffel in the car and came back in and sat down in the library of the bunker. He looked around the room knowing that this will be the last time that he sees it. Once he knew that they had to split up, he knew he was going to let Sam stay here. At least he would know that Sam had a roof over his head. And as long as he stayed in the bunker nothing evil could hurt him. That was really the only solace that he had. Dean heard movement in the back room. "You will have one hour with him." Dean looked down at his watch and saw that it was 2 o'clock on the dot. He had till three to leave his brother forever. Even the thought of that brought up a hole new pain in his heart. Forever. It's such a long time. It was always suppose to be 'Sam and Dean Winchester against the world'. Not any more.
Sam walked into the library. Dean looked at him, and true to his word Sam hasn't look this good since before the trial. Hell, the last time Sam looked like this was when Dean picked him up from Stanford. Dean smiled.
"Sammy," Dean called.
Sam walked over to him.
"How you feeling?" Dean said cupping Sam's face.
"A whole lot better," Sam sighed. "Better than I've felt in a long time."
Sam looked at Dean and could tell that something was wrong.
"Hey Dean..."
"I'm leaving Sammy," Dean cut Sam off.
"Dean."
"I have to. It was the only way," Dean said tears in his eyes. "Here." Dean holding out the sealed envelope in his hand.
Sam looked down at the envelope and then back up at his brother. Sam seeing the tears in Dean's eyes is scaring him more and more by the minute.
"Dean," Sam said. "What's going on?"
Dean put his head down. After a moment he looks back up at his baby brother. All he sees is the little baby that he carried out of the burning house. He's carried Sam so much and so far. This right now has to be the hardest thing Dean has ever done. Selling his soul was easy. Walking away. Dean literally feels like someone is ripping him apart piece by piece. Dean tries to keep himself composed for Sam, but it is quickly becoming a loosing battle.
"I'm so sorry, Sammy." Dean said. His tears that he was trying to conceal streaming down his face.
Sam's really scared now.
"Dean what is going on? What ever it is we can work it out."
"No, Sammy we can't. Not any more." Dean takes a deep breath to try and calm himself down. "I'm leaving. It's the condition to you getting better."
"What! Dean, what. Did. You. Do?" Now Sam's got tears in his eyes. Trying his best to control his breathing.
"I can't stay. I want you to stay here. This place will protect you from any evil." Dean said. "Take care of yourself."
Dean put the envelope and his phone on the table and started to walk away, but Sam grabbed his arm and stood in front of him. Dean looked up at his brother and smiled through teary eyes.
"It's going to be alright, Sammy." Dean said. "Give me my happy ending."
Sam let go of his arm. They looked at each other. Dean thought he could but he couldn't hold out any more. He grabbed up his brother and wrapped his arms around him. Sam gripped the back of Dean's jacket as if his life depended on it. They stood there for a few minutes just holding each other. Breathing in each other scent, Dean knew this would be the last time he would ever hold his baby brother, his Sammy, ever again. Dean tries to pull away from his brother, but Sam's had other plans.
"Sammy," Dean calmly says. "Let me go, Sammy." Sam shakes his head, that's in the crook of Dean's neck. "It's okay, S'my. It's alright. Let me go."
Slowly the grip on the back of Dean's jacket loosens. Dean steps back and looks at his baby brother. Sam's face is red and tear-stained. Dean cups his face.
"It's going to be alright."
Faintly in the background a small alarm goes off. Dean looks over at the clock that was on top of one of the bookshelves and saw that it was 3 o'clock. Dean looks back at his brother, lets go of his face and walks out of the bunker for the last time. Sam just stood there. He heard the door close and he still couldn't believe it. His brother was gone. Just like that. Sam looked at the table as saw the envelope that Dean wanted to hand him and his phone. Slowly Sam walked over to the table and sat down. He picked up the envelope and opened it. He unfolded the sheet of paper and began to read.
Sammy
I know you're confused about what just happened and I'm sorry. But know that I had to. I had to make the biggest sacrifice in order to save your life. Don't worry, it wasn't a demon deal. I'm going to still be alive (relatively speaking). I don't know how else to tell you so I'm just going to come out and say it. Metatron said that the only way that I could save your life was we would have to separate. You were dying. I couldn't wake you. I had to make that deal. Your life means more to me than anything. I want you to stay here in the bunker. I'm going to take the car. Become a Man of Letters. Go back to school. Whatever. I want you to take care of yourself. Because, Sammy, I won't be around to watch your back anymore.
Look I don't want to get all 'chick-flick' moment with you, but I have to say; I'm proud of you. You turned out to be one helluva man. From the little snot-nose little bitch that followed me everywhere to now. I am proud to know that what you are I've had a hand in it. You remember what dad taught you. You remember what Bobby taught you. You remember what I taught you.
You'll be fine. You always are. I know I've never said this to you, but I love you. You're my baby brother. Will always be my baby brother. So make me proud.
Give me my happy ending.
Your big brother
Dean
Sam dropped the letter on the table. He looked over at the phone. Now really looking at it he sees that it is Dean's phone. So now he can't call him. He won't be able to hear his voice again.
_000_-000_000_000_000_000_
Joshua looked at what had just unfolded and knew this was not right. This was not suppose to happen. They were never to be separated. EVER. Now he, that took a back burner to everything from the Apocalypse to the closing of Hell, knew he was going to have to step in and stop what was happening now. He knew those boys were only stronger with each other. They had to stay together. Separate and the world would not recover. Joshua left his hiding spot and went to the only person that he knew would bring those two back together.
"We need to talk," Joshua said walking into the bar and sitting at the table with an ornery old man.
"What's going on?" Bobby asked.
"You have to fix what Metatron destroyed."
"What?" Bobby looked at Joshua with such confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"Metatron cured Sam, but at a high price."
"Balls!" Bobby rubbed his hand over his face then over his head taking off his cap. "What did Dean agree to?"
"Metatron made him sever ties with Sam. He's just looking for a good story. What he doesn't know is that Sam and Dean splitting up will kill them. Both of them. And you of all people knows that they need each other. They are two sides of the same coin. Separate them and they are nothing. Will be nothing. You have to fix this."
Bobby looked at Joshua. Bobby knew all too well what Sam and Dean were to each other. There was no way Dean could find peace if he knew that Sam was in danger. There was no way that Sam couldn't do anything if he wasn't following his brother. Sam couldn't really do anything without asking Dean for permission.
"Why me," Bobby asked. "Why not their dad or mom?"
Joshua looked at Bobby and for the first time there was a small smile on his face.
"I thought it would be obvious. They both respect you the same. Yeah, they both loved their dad, but there is tension there. Dean would follow his dad's orders to the letter, until it goes against anything that is opposing to Sam. If it would in anyway endanger or hurt Sam, Dean wouldn't follow. And Sam, well Sam and John have been at each other's throats since Sam could talk and hunt with them. Yes, he loves his father, but it wouldn't work. They would be arguing within minutes. Their mom, yeah, it may work on Dean but not Sam. Dean knew her for four years. Sam on the other hand never knew her. You are the only logical choice. You were the only constant in those boys lives. So what do you say. You feel up to going back and fixing what Metatron broke."
Bobby looked at Joshua and just smiled.
"When do I leave?"
THE END
A/N: I hope you've enjoyed my little one-shot. I am leaving this story open ended. I may come back and do more to it, I may not. It depends on what comes to me. :)
A/N: I would like to thank everyone who took the time to read my story! :) Please be kind and leave a review and let me know what you think of it! :)
Many kisses and hugs to you all! :)
Mandancie :)
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