A/N: About a year ago my computer broke and I was unable to do any writing. I was only recently able to get my computer replaced and my files restored. This is the first thing I've written since all of my computer issues were resolved.
Chuck Bartowski's life was perfect. Long past was the darkest point in his life when he nearly lost his beloved Sarah just months after they were married. But now it was as though it never happened. His Sarah had come back to him fully, the trauma done to her mind undone and now they had a family. Their eldest was a son, born almost four years ago. Their second son came into the world eighteen months ago. Then just three short weeks ago a daughter completed their family.
The Christmas season was just getting started, Chuck's favorite time of the year, especially now that he had children. Excited for the magical season, the Bartowski home was already decked out for the holiday. A big, beautiful Christmas tree sat in front of the living room window, all aglow with colorful, twinkling lights and adorned with festive ornaments that hung from its branches. And at the very top there was an elegant angel watching over everyone. Stockings for each member of the family were hung over the fireplace. Garland, wreathes, holly and mistletoe, along with other festive decorations adorned the rest of the home. The exterior of the home was just as festive with lights along the roof of the house as well as around the windows and door. The porch and a few trees in the front yard were also lit up with Christmas cheer. Yes, everything was perfect.
On this December eve the whole Bartowski family was curled up together on the living room sofa. Sarah was seated on one end, holding their daughter in her arms, feeding the tiny newborn. Chuck sat next to his wife, while their two sons were curled up in his lap. Soon it would be time to put the kids to bed, so Chuck and Sarah were just enjoying some quiet family time together before tucking their babies in for the night.
Bedtime stories and goodnight kisses later Chuck drew Sarah to him for a kiss as she pulled the door to their sons' shared bedroom shut. As they kissed the moment was interrupted by the musical chime of Chuck's cell phone. Breaking the kiss early Chuck pulled his phone out of his pocket to be greeted by a picture of his sister and brother-in-law.
Smiling, Chuck answered the phone with a cheerful hello. In seconds the smile melted from his face as he exclaimed, "What?!" and the phone fell from his hand, the screen shattering as it hit the hardwood floor below. Chuck himself then collapsed to the floor next to the broken phone.
Immediately Sarah knelt down next to her husband, laying her hand on his back. With a voice full of concern and worry, she asked, "Chuck, what is it? What's wrong?"
His voice breaking, Chuck said, "It's Ellie. She's dead. My sister is dead."
Mirroring Chuck's shock, Sarah had the same reaction upon hearing the unexpected, devastating news. "What?! What happened?"
His voice continuing to deteriorate Chuck replied, "I don't know. Devon just got home from his shift at the hospital and found her on the couch. He said he knew right away that she was gone."
Unable to hold it together any longer Chuck completely broke down as his body was wracked with violent sobs. Tears splashed against the shattered screen of his phone, obscuring the smiling picture of his sister.
Just like his phone that lay destroyed on the hallway floor Chuck's heart had shattered beyond repair. Chuck could feel his heart break apart in his chest, spreading all the hurt and pain throughout his entire body. His body flooded with anguish as everything went dark and shutdown.
As his tears continued to flow Sarah picked him up off the floor and walked him to the living room and drew him onto sofa with her. There Chuck fell into her arms, still crying intensely, unable to stop. Sarah lovingly held Chuck in her arms and cried with him as he mourned for the sudden loss of his big sister.
The clock ticked on for about fifteen minutes before Chuck was able to pull himself together. "I can't believe my sister is gone," Chuck cried as soon as he was able to coax words out of his mouth. "Because of our growing family I haven't gotten to see her in person in years and now I'll never get to see her again. I won't even be able to attend her funeral because we can't travel all the way to Chicago with a newborn. If we could even get there at all with huge snowstorm they're experiencing up there right now."
Looking into his glistening eyes Sarah gently wiped away Chuck's tears and placed a soft kiss against his forehead. After placing another soft kiss against his skin, Sarah pulled Chuck back into her warm embrace.
Fresh tears began spilling down his cheeks, following the same course as those from before as Chuck broke down again. In one terrible moment everything had been forever changed. Christmas would never be the same. December would never be the same. His life would never be the same. Nothing would ever be the same again.
Ellie was gone. Ellie, who had been the one constant in his life. Ellie, who was always there when everything else was falling apart. When their mother went missing from their lives as kids and their father 'disappeared' into his search for her, Ellie was there, filling the role of both the big sister and a mother-figure when he needed one. Whenever he needed advice she was the one he turned to. She always seemed to know exactly what to say to him in any situation to make him feel better. In good times and bad his sister was always there. Now she was gone and had left a void in his life, a scar on his heart.
Voicing his inner thoughts, Chuck, through tears said, "My whole life my sister was always there for me. After our parents left we only had each other. She became the most important person in my life. I can't believe she's really dead. I don't want to believe it. I don't want it to be true. I wish this was all just a horrible nightmare and that when I woke up everything would go back to normal. I don't know how to go on without her."
"I'm so sorry, Chuck," Sarah said, her voice cracking as she spoke. "I know how close you two were. How much you're going to miss her. I'm going to miss her too. Ellie was one of the kindest people I've ever met. From the very beginning, when I was just your handler, before our relationship developed into something real, she welcomed me as part of the family. You know that I never really had much of a family, so being a part of yours, even when it was just to protect our cover, that was a huge thing for me. Over time she became my sister too."
"How can Ellie be dead?" Chuck lamented. "She was too young to die. She was supposed to be a grandma one day, an aunt. This wasn't supposed to happen. My sister was supposed to live a long, happy life."
"I don't know why this happened Chuck, but I do know that your sister loved you and she'd want you to be happy. She would want you to live your life. She would want you to be strong. She wouldn't want you to let her death destroy you. So you have to go on for her. For me. For our kids. And for Clara. She's going to need her Uncle Chuck."
"The kids!" Chuck said, suddenly realizing something. "They'll never know their Aunt Ellie. They're to young to remember her."
"They will know her Chuck," Sarah countered. "Because they have you. You will be there to share all your memories of your sister with them. They will know her through you. Ellie will never be forgotten. She'll always live in your heart," Sarah said placing a hand on his chest. "And in mine too. We will keep her spirit alive and her legacy will live on forever."
Sarah's words brought a small sense of comfort to Chuck. His heart was still filled with such an indescribable ache. A pain he could still feel radiating out to his fingertips and all the way down to his toes. A pain he wasn't sure would ever go away. He still didn't know how to go on without her. He didn't know who he was without his sister. She had been part of his life since the day he was born. The thought of a life without his big sister was terrifying. One thing he was sure of though was that Ellie would be remembered. Sarah had made him believe that. Chuck was certain of one other thing as well, that without Sarah by his side he wouldn't be able to get through tonight or the days ahead. She would keep him going and keep his grief from swallowing him.
Taking Sarah's hand and gently squeezing it, Chuck looked at her through watery eyes and his voice heavy with emotion saying, "Thank you. For everything. I don't know where I'd be without you. You give me strength and that's something I'm going to need a lot of going forward."
Sarah brushed her hand across Chuck's cheek, wiping away tears as she did so. "You give me strength too and together I know we can get through anything."
Her hand still laid against Chuck's cheek Sarah whispered, "I love you," as she pulled him in for a gentle kiss.
"I love you too," Chuck whispered back when the kiss broke.
Chuck and Sarah then settled into one another's arms in silence, offering each other solace on such a horrible night. As they sat wordlessly together on the sofa Chuck's eyes fell upon his phone resting on the coffee table and the shattered picture of his sister displayed on it. Shedding a tear as he looked at his sister's image, the bright, twinkling lights of the Christmas tree reflecting off its surface caught his attention and caused him to look up, where his eyes were immediately drawn to the beautiful angel at the top and Chuck knew in his heart that it was Ellie, watching over him. Even in death Ellie would always be his big sister and she would always be with him. She was his guardian angel.
A/N: This is a story I never wanted to write. I was looking for a way to return to writing after a long drought due to computer problems, but this isn't the way I wanted it to happen at all.
Earlier this month I learned that a very dear friend of mine, one who was a sister to me, had died. She was one of the most important people in my life and though she moved out of state years ago she was still my sister and I still loved her. This story is story is dedicated to her, in honor and memory of the very special person she was.
For Ann
When we first met all those years ago you were so kind to me and we quickly grew close. It wasn't long before I became close with your sister and mother as well. You all became family and were always one of the best things in my life. Though we hadn't been able to see each other for years I never forgot you and I never will. Whenever I look at our twin freckle pattern I will think of you. You're in my heart always and I'll miss you. I love you Sissy.
And to Little Sissy
I send hugs and all my love in this heartbreaking time. You are in my heart and my thoughts. Know that Ann will never be forgotten. She lives in my heart and will always be my sister. Just as you will always be my little sissy. I love you both very much.
