Ok. First of all this is a NaruIno fanfic. Dont ask me where the fuck I got out NaruIno since there has been no sign of care between them in the whole series. Well anyway I hope you enjoy and please review.

Disclaimer: I dont own Naruto or any related brand.

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Chapter 1: The return

Naruto looked at Jiraiya as they approached the gates of Konoha.

"Hey perverto! Do you think I will get a mission when I come back?" asked the blonde Genin

"Naruto! First of all I've told you a thousand times I am NOT a pervert... I am a degenerated and... wait that didn't sound quite right."

"Hahaha! Hey look sensei! The gate is already at sight!"

"Ok then, lets get at a higher speed. I wanna make a cool entrance for the Naruto Shippuden first episode."

"What?"

"Shuddup! Don't think you're life is a reality show for people on an alternate dimension!"

"What?"

"I said shush!"

As the ninja arrived at the door the guards greeted them both. Naruto could see a look of disgust on one of the guard's face. He didn't know why but he thought nearly all the greetings in the day would be the same. Jiraiya led Naruto to Tsuande's office where the old hag greeted them both with a yell.

"What?! You are back?! Ok then... I'll have to close the open air saunas from now on."

"Im also glad to see you Tsunade" replied the pervert

"Hey Naruto!" yelled a familiar voice, Naruto recognized it as Sakura

"Yo Sakura!" he replied when he saw her brushing the floor of the office "What are you doing?"

"Kids!" interrupted the large-chested woman "Go talk outside! I've got some things I need to talk about with Jiraiya on PRIVATE"

Sakura stopped brushing and left at Naruto's side. As soon as they left the Hokage building Sakura started a great interrogation.

"Naruto! I'm so glad to see you again! The town has been really boring without you. Soooo... how do you think I look?" said the bubble-gum coloured haired girl

"You look great! Especially now that you wear the skirt, it looks more feminine." replied Naruto trying to make her happy even though he was trying to focus on what was UNDER the skirt...

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"Ok Jiraiya. I think you know why I need to talk to you." said the hag calmly

"Its because of Naruto?" replied the white-haired Sannin

"Yes. As you know he is just gonna turn 16 in two weeks. And that means that the demon foz inside of him will be released."

"But that would cause chaos in all the town!"

"Yes I know... that's why I have taken the decision of killing Naruto..."

"What?! He is my student! I wont let you kill him! I just wont!"

"I'm sorry but I'm right now looking for someone who has the strength and intelligence to kill Naruto... the best name I've got until now is Deidara"

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"So that's basically what I did while I was with Jiraiya" said the teenager

"Wow that's interesting Naruto! I'm sure you both had a lot of fun!" replied the girl happily

"Yeah we did but you know what? We didn't had ramen!"

"So I guess we are now heading for Ichiraku's pla--" but before she could finish her sentence Naruto had already left "Hey! Wait for me!"

When the girl arrived at the store she found Naruto had already ate 22 dishes and was about to finish his 23rd.

"Hey! I told you to wait for me!"

"Sorry Sakura but you know... when hunger strikes hunger strikes. I know I must be polite since you are a girl but you know... I can't wait that long if you are going to go at turtle speed."

"Turtle speed?!" yelled the Chunin hitting Naruto on the head

"OW! What was that for?" asked Naruto starting to cry

"Oh! I'm sorry Naruto! I didn't meant to... I'm so--"

"Cut it out" yelled a voice unfamiliar voice to Sakura "You call yourself a medical-nin? You are a disgrace!" suddenly Ino and her crew entered the store

Naruto was perplexed when he saw Ino. She was WAY hotter than before and she... well... was wearing a more revealing outfit than Sakura.

"Naruto!" said the girl with excitement "You're back! Thanks God! You know, everything has been really boring without you but now that you're here we'll have loads of adventures and it'll be great!" she yelled before hugging Naruto

Naruto blushed a bit. Ino's hug was cutting out all of his air too.

"You are suffocating me!!" yelled Naruto

"Oh! I'm sorry!" she replied before leaving Naruto

"We are also here by the way." said Choji trying to get some attention too "Naruto! Well actually Ino already said everything so I'll just say hi."

"Hi Choji. You look fitter now!"

"Yeah! I've been doing some exercise. The lard became muscles!!"

"Hey Shikamaru! Don't you wanna say hi?" whispered Ino to the boy who didn't even reacted to the whisper

"I will never say hi to a scum like him." said Shikamaru

"How rude!" said Sakura cutting in

"I don't care... I'm leaving. Come on team."

"You know why? I'm staying with Naruto and Sakura" said Ino

"Fine" was Shikamaru's only reply before he left with Choji following him

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Meanwhile at a cave outside Konoha an evil plan was being formulated and by evil I mean evil.

"Boss!" said a sharp voice "I've been requested by the Hokage"

"Great" replied a deep voice "Now we only have to wait for the time to come..."