~Time is going by so much faster and I, I'm starting to regret not spending it all with you,~
Its been over a year since the Glamnation tour. Everything has changed, everywhere I go people know exactly who I am. Its strange to really see how fast time flys. Seems like not long ago I was auditioning to be Adams bassist.
…Adam…haven't really talked to him in a while. More or less trying not to think about him really. Yeah, we're still great friends, but with all the interviews and such, I haven't seen him in over 4 months. Its been affecting me more than I would have thought to be honest, him being my best friend and all. Maybe I should call him
I picked up my phone and dialed his number. It rang…and rang…and rang…a few more times of ringing…Then to his voice mail. "Hey its Adam! Sorry I couldn't get your call, leave a message!" his voice came through the phone.
"Hey Adam, its Tommy. Just wanted to see how things are going. Miss you babyboy. Call back soon, Maybe we could hang or something when your not so busy, Talk later. Bye." I sighed as I hung up the phone. I was happy for Adam, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I miss my best friend. The one with no care in the world, who loves to have fun. The man I knew for what seems like a long time. I wish I would have spent more time with him…I really do.
APOV~Now I'm wondering why, I kept this bottled inside, and im starting to regret not telling all of this to you,~
After the interview I went back to my dressing room. Wow, I've been far to busy lately, I cant even remember what I had to do next. I need some serious time off. I grabbed my phone from the mirror stand,
"One new voicemail…?" I said to myself aloud
I pressed the send button and listened to my voice mail. "Hey Adam,…" I heard an amazingly familiar voice on the other line and I broke into a huge smile. After listening to the voicemail I decided I would clear my schedule for the rest of the day, a night out with Tommy was exactly the break I needed. Besides, I missed my best friend.
I grabbed my phone again and rapidly dialed Tommy's number. It only rang twice until he picked up the phone.
"Hello?" Tommy said into the phone
"Hey Tommy!" I yelled into the phone excitedly
"Hey! Hows everything? You okay? Anything new?" He asked rapidly
"Whoa! Slow down there," I giggled, "I know I haven't called in a while but gosh! Everything's fine, Yes I'm perfectly fine, and No nothing really new. So you said you wanna hang out soon? How soon? I'm free tonight, is that alright? Maybe a movie at my place?"
"Uh, yeah, I'm free tonight, it's fine…movie at your place? Perfect."
"Great. What time will you be over?"
"6-ish. Is that alright?"
I looked at the clock, it was going on 5pm right now. That left me an hour to shower, get changed, and look decent. Heaven forbid I let anyone see me without makeup.
"Yeah that be fine. See ya then?"
"Yepp! See ya!" Tommy said as he hung up the phone.
I got a shower and changed, I put light makeup on. Nothing much. Dressed in black jeans and a black button up, 3 rings on each hand, I was looking okay for company. I heard a knock at the door. "That's strange, Tommy usually walks right in." I thought to myself
I went to get the door and there stood Tommy, he was even more beautiful then my memories of him. Blonde hair flowing because of the wind, same brown eyes that always saw the best in everyone, and a faint blush on his pale cheeks.
"Hey." Was all I said. We stood there staring for a while but he eventually started laughing
"Well? We gonna watch the movie or what?" he asked
"Hmm…you seem to enjoy standing here just fine." I said laughing as he pushed pass me and into my house.
"Yeah, yeah." He mocked smiling "So what are we watching?"
"I don't care, pick something, want something to drink? I asked
"Yeah, popcorn too? Please?" Tommy asked like a little child
"Yes. Popcorn too."
I got the pop and popcorn and brought it all back to the living room where Tommy had just put a DVD into my DVD player
"What'dya pick?"
"Nightmare on Elm street." He stated smiling.
"Ugh! Tommy! Again?" I asked
"Yes. Again." He said and I sat down with exaggerated exasperation and threw my arm over my face.
"If you get scared you can close your eyes." Tommy laughed at me.
"Shut up." I said and threw one of my fluffy couch pillows at him. We both laughed and Tommy ended up almost falling off the couch, which made me laugh harder. Finally we calmed down enough but we were both red in the face.
"You know, I really missed you, Glitterbaby." I told him
"I missed you too, so much. I haven't really been around people lately, trying to keep to myself until everything went back to normal, but now I'm wondering what normal really is. Cant trust anyone right now. So I'm pretty much always alone." He replied.
I felt absolutely terrible. Tommy is my best friend, I should be here for him but I'm not. I made a promise to myself that I'd never let that happen again. We both knew what happened last time he never trusted anyone, and when he felt alone… I looked down at his wrist that was facing down as he sat on the couch with his feet tucked underneath him. The scars there to remind me that I wasn't there for him once, and I'd been lucky to catch him before it got any worse. I groaned.
"You okay there Adam?" Tommy asked worriedly
"Yeah, just lost in thought. How come you never called me? I'm always here for you, remember?" I said as I grabbed his wrist. Rubbing my thumb over the scars that were probably always going to be there.
"I…I don't know…I just thought you were so busy now that you didn't have time for me anymore…" Tommy's voice broke and he whispered the last part. . Is he crying? Great, I haven't seen Tommy in over 4 months and I'm making him cry. I'm such a screw up.
"I always have time for you Tommy. Always." I told him and took him into my arms rocking us back and forth mumbling apologize to him and occasionally "sshh," to him.
Tommy was crying, it was my fault. I hadn't been here for him like I hadn't before. Forgetting about the movie we just sat there as I comforted him while he cried.
~So if I haven't yet, I gotta let you know! Your never gonna be alone. From this moment on. If you ever feel like letting go, I wont let you fall. Your never gonna be alone, ill hold you 'til the hurt is gone."
I don't know exactly how long we sat there, me just holding him. It took me back to when he got his heart broken. He would crawl into my bed almost every night on the tour bus and curl into a ball and just cry as I comforted him. That was the night I fell in love with him, and I've seen enough of his tears to break my heart 40 times over.
Tommy eventually quieted, I looked at the time, We'd been sitting here for about a half hour. Felt so much longer.
"I'm sorry, Adam. We're supposed to be having a good time and I'm sitting here crying my eyes out and ruining your shirt." Tommy sniffled
"No, Tommy, don't you dare apologize. Its fine. And besides, its black on black…unnoticeable." I said joking about my shirt. It got him to giggle a little.
"Can we watch the movie now?" Tommy sat up and stopped sobbing. I nodded, still unsure about his mood. I turned it on and pressed play.
TPOV
I ended up getting tired during the movie, probably because of all the crying I did, so I laid my head down on Adam's lap. Most people would find that uncomfortable but to be honest, I wouldn't choose any other place to sleep other than on this space-heater named Adam.
I felt Adams hand running through my hair as I laid on his lap, It brought back memories. Our first kiss, the nights I crawled into his bed while he would comfort me from everything I went through. The night I fell in love with him.
Yeah, I know that the public knows me as straight, but theres just something about Adam. I've never been attracted to any other man, never thought any other guy was good looking or anything. Just Adam. And I liked that. He's special.
I smiled, thinking about how lucky I was to even know Adam. Let alone his best friend. He truly was amazing. With his hands running through my hair, and one of my favorite movies playing, I fell asleep fast and easily.
~Now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands 'cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you. So if I haven't yet, I gotta let you know, Your never gonna be alone.~
I couldn't even remember the last time I had slept this good, or even dreamt. As I slept I slightly heard someone whispering to me. I think it may have been in my dream, but the voice sounded so real….
I woke up, much to my displeasure, on a couch wrapped in a plan black blanket. I sat up rubbing my eyes, then I remembered what happened before I fell asleep.
"Adam?" My voice croaked. How late was it? It was dark outside I noticed as I looked out the window.
"Tommy, Oh good your awake. You alright?" Adam said as he walked out of the kitchen.
"Yepp, Perfectly fine. What time is it?" I smiled at him.
"11:30pm. You slept like a baby you know that? I didn't even bother to try to wake you." He laughed
"Damn. Its late. Do you mind if I crash here tonight? If you don't have anything to do early tomorrow morning I mean." I asked unsure
"Yeah, you can sleep here. I don't have anything to do until late tomorrow evening I believe." He assured me.
" 'Kay. Can we watch the movie again? Please? Pretty Please? I promise not to fall asleep again!" I begged
"Okay, but only because your pretty." Adam teased
We popped the movie back into the player and sat down to watch it. Again. I sat up all the way so I wouldn't fall asleep again. First I cry when I first see Adam for the first time in over 4 months, then I fall asleep on his couch. I'm a horrible friend.
Suddenly a realization came to me. This isn't going to last. He's just so busy, I might not get to see him for a really long time after this. Maybe to some people 4 months isn't too long, but when you miss the one you love, 4 months is like an eternity. I need him, like anything in this world, I need him… if not to save me when I get depressed then to love me when I'm myself.
~From this moment on. If you ever feel like letting go, I wont let you fall. When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on. We're gonna see the world out, Ill hold you til the hurt is gone. You gotta live every single day, like its your only one, what if tomorrow never comes, don't let it slip away, could be your only one, You know its only just begun, every single day, what if tomorrow never comes. Tomorrow never comes.~
I scooted closer to him and Adam wrapped his arm around me so that I could get closer. Snuggling into his side.
"Aw, its little Tommy scared?" Adam joked
"Nope. I was just thinking, I should spend as much time with you right now because its going all back to normal tomorrow. I know it." I said worriedly.
"Now what would make you say that?" he wondered
"Oh, Come on now Adam! Your so busy, and yes I'm happy for you, of course. But I really missed you! I know this isn't going to last forever because now you're a huge superstar and you'll be gone more then you will be with me. I get it. Its just I wish it wasn't like that. Its no body's fault, it just happened. I know. I just…I.." I stuttered
When I looked at Adam there was a strange emotion in his eyes…or wait, a mix of emotions. Curiosity, anguish, worry, confusion…Love…? "no" my mind told me. "just wishful thinking."
"Tommy. I know, I haven't been here for you like I promised before. But I am now, and I WILL be, I'm honestly just a phone call away, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Glitterbaby." Adam said
His hand came up to graze my face. I leaned into the touch loving the feeling of his skin on mine. Everything happened so suddenly I barely had time to react. Adam started leaning forward, slowly at first, giving me time to reject and as he saw that I didn't he continued….closer….closer…I could feel his breath on my lips now. Then, his lips were on mine, lightly pressing to me. I was breath taken by then that it took me a second to react to the kiss. Once I did our lips meet together passionately at first, then more heated, more intense. I hadn't kissed him in such a long time I was in complete bliss as he held me to him kissing me with everything he had.
By the time we broke apart we were both breathless and panting. I wanted to do that for so long that I couldn't help but kiss him close mouthed on the lips once more, a short chaste kiss. He smiled at me, and the emotion that I was previously confused about was back in his eyes. It was deffinitly love. God, I love his eyes, they are so blue, and so loving, and so amazing, just like him.
"Tommy…I Love you. I don't know why it took me so long to say it but I really do. I love you to death Tommy Joe Ratliff." Adam said
"I love you too, Adam." Was all I had to say to be granted another kiss…this one was longer, more passionate…and lingering.