Snakes, Mothers, and babies are not a good thing to mix.
Nagini, Voldermort's pet snake decided while on one of his 'walks' that he was horney, and after a little searching, he found a perfect snake that would take care of that.
Him being all big and intimating, the female snake, Samara was immediately swoon. And things happened. I'm not going to describe the icky details to you. My mind is scared as it is, I don't need to corrupt yours.
Anywhoo, things happened and of course Nagini being the strong, powerful male type, he took off without looking back. Like the sissy wuss he was. Samara was a little heart broken but didn't really care. There were more snakes out there that she liked better anyways.
But of course, Fate being the bitch she is, found Samara a few months later with a couple dozen eggs, and no daddy to help take care of them. So being the good mother she was, she took off looking for the poor sucker Nagini.
Meanwhile Voldermort was doing a good impression of a Token Bad Guy. You know always getting caught or stopped before his Cunning Evil Plan To Take Over The Wizarding World ever really got off the ground. Poor guy kept on using really lame, predicable schemes. So after a few dozen failed attempts to take over the wizarding world. He finally got the good sense to 'Avada Kedavra' his whole Cunning Plan team and brought together another and of course Severus Snape was on it. So he really didn't even stand a chance.
Nagini on the other hand was happily mocking the Death Eaters every time they came into Voldermort's presences.
But that wasn't to often. Not because they were scared of Voldermort or Nagini. No, it was because of the funky smell that always seemed to be coming off Voldermort. A mix between a rotting corpse and dirty socks, really dirty socks. They could barely stand being in his presences longer then 5 minutes before they start gagging.
Samara found Nagini a few months after the children hatched. He of course took one look at the responsibility he would have to face and took off, like the wuss he was, to hide behind Voldermort. She of course did not give up that easily. If he would not take on his responsibility as a father, she at least wanted child support!
"I've got you now, Harry Potter!" Voldermort said evily. His wand pointed at Harry.
Harry for some reason only known to the author (a/n he looks hot that's all I gotta say) had on a pair of tight fitting leather pants, and a black muscle shirt. All of it molding his perfecting toned body.
Harry just rolled his perfect green eyes. Not this again. Voldermort was becoming very annoying, and he; himself was still trying to recover from the emotional scars that had been left from the love potion incident. Voldermort following you like a love sick puppy was more horrifying then him trying to kill you almost constantly. Harry shuddered from the memory. Malfoy was still paying for spiking Voldermort's drink.
"What is it this time?" Harry asked boredly.
"I want you to die, you know how embarrassing that was?" Voldermort stated evily. He shifted his arm evily. His arm was getting tired.
"You think it was embarrassing for you? Ha! I still have emotional scars. They're not going to go away anytime soon!" Harry yelled. His wand was in his pocket and he didn't even bother to get it out. If Voldermort got luck and finally killed him, he deserved it. But Harry seriously doubted that would ever happen.
"Mwahahahahahahaha!" Voldermort laughed evily, before he was cut off by the fart he'd been holding escaping.
Harry started at Voldermort, his jaw hanging open. Before he burst into laughter. He laughed so hard he had to grab onto the wall to keep him from falling over.
"That is not funny." Voldermort said sulkily evilly. But being a complete idiot he was he lowered his wand.
However at that exact moment, Nagini came came slithering in screaming at the top of him snake lungs. Samara came in shortly after, yelling at him about his children and child support.
Nagini was huge compared to Samara's 4 feet 6 but him being a wuss turned tail and hide behind Voldermort.
Harry was watching this all with amusement.
"You have 23 children to take care of, you scumbag. You knock me up, and break my heart. You will not abandon your children! You didn't even leave a number!" She shrieked. "You will help me take care of your children or you will pay a heavy child support bill ever month!" She was doing a god impression of 3 or 4 volcanoes going off at the same time, and Molly Weasely. You can't forget Molly Weasely when she's really pissed at the twins.
"I...I..." Nagini stuttered. He needed to distract her with something. "I can't, my master won't let Me.," he pointed with his tail at Voldermort. It worked; Samara turned her attention from Nagini to Voldermort.
"Why won't you let Nagini take care of his children?" Samara shrieked.
Voldermort could only stare at Samara. How could she, a lowly snake, talk to him like that? How dare she.
"How dare you talk to me like that? Do you know who I am?" he hissed.
"No I don't. And I don't care if you're God himself. Nagini will be taking care of his children if I have to drag him out by my teeth." she threatened.
She threatened him. A mere snake, threatened him. The almighty Lord Voldermort.
"He will not being going anywhere as long as I'm alive." He yelled evily.
Harry winced. Not the best way he could have formed that sentence.
"Fine!" she hissed, with that she struck forward biting him hard. Injecting him with her poison.
Harry and Nagini could only watch as, only moments later Voldermort dropped dead.
Samara turned on Nagini. Nagini having more sense then Voldermort, caved in and followed her out. To a life of responsibility. At least it was better then what his ex-master got.
Harry stood by himself in the room, looking down at the dead body that was once his mortal enemy. Sad really. But it was good really Voldermort never achieved immortality, as he's so wanted. Who would be able to stand that funky smell forever?
Shaking his head, he turned and headed towards the exit. Nobody was there to stop him. All the ex-Death Eathers where having a huge party, celebrating the death or the funky smell.
Moral: Never, ever, ever piss of a mother snake when she's trying to get the father to do something. Especially if she's poisonous.
End
Nagini, Voldermort's pet snake decided while on one of his 'walks' that he was horney, and after a little searching, he found a perfect snake that would take care of that.
Him being all big and intimating, the female snake, Samara was immediately swoon. And things happened. I'm not going to describe the icky details to you. My mind is scared as it is, I don't need to corrupt yours.
Anywhoo, things happened and of course Nagini being the strong, powerful male type, he took off without looking back. Like the sissy wuss he was. Samara was a little heart broken but didn't really care. There were more snakes out there that she liked better anyways.
But of course, Fate being the bitch she is, found Samara a few months later with a couple dozen eggs, and no daddy to help take care of them. So being the good mother she was, she took off looking for the poor sucker Nagini.
Meanwhile Voldermort was doing a good impression of a Token Bad Guy. You know always getting caught or stopped before his Cunning Evil Plan To Take Over The Wizarding World ever really got off the ground. Poor guy kept on using really lame, predicable schemes. So after a few dozen failed attempts to take over the wizarding world. He finally got the good sense to 'Avada Kedavra' his whole Cunning Plan team and brought together another and of course Severus Snape was on it. So he really didn't even stand a chance.
Nagini on the other hand was happily mocking the Death Eaters every time they came into Voldermort's presences.
But that wasn't to often. Not because they were scared of Voldermort or Nagini. No, it was because of the funky smell that always seemed to be coming off Voldermort. A mix between a rotting corpse and dirty socks, really dirty socks. They could barely stand being in his presences longer then 5 minutes before they start gagging.
Samara found Nagini a few months after the children hatched. He of course took one look at the responsibility he would have to face and took off, like the wuss he was, to hide behind Voldermort. She of course did not give up that easily. If he would not take on his responsibility as a father, she at least wanted child support!
"I've got you now, Harry Potter!" Voldermort said evily. His wand pointed at Harry.
Harry for some reason only known to the author (a/n he looks hot that's all I gotta say) had on a pair of tight fitting leather pants, and a black muscle shirt. All of it molding his perfecting toned body.
Harry just rolled his perfect green eyes. Not this again. Voldermort was becoming very annoying, and he; himself was still trying to recover from the emotional scars that had been left from the love potion incident. Voldermort following you like a love sick puppy was more horrifying then him trying to kill you almost constantly. Harry shuddered from the memory. Malfoy was still paying for spiking Voldermort's drink.
"What is it this time?" Harry asked boredly.
"I want you to die, you know how embarrassing that was?" Voldermort stated evily. He shifted his arm evily. His arm was getting tired.
"You think it was embarrassing for you? Ha! I still have emotional scars. They're not going to go away anytime soon!" Harry yelled. His wand was in his pocket and he didn't even bother to get it out. If Voldermort got luck and finally killed him, he deserved it. But Harry seriously doubted that would ever happen.
"Mwahahahahahahaha!" Voldermort laughed evily, before he was cut off by the fart he'd been holding escaping.
Harry started at Voldermort, his jaw hanging open. Before he burst into laughter. He laughed so hard he had to grab onto the wall to keep him from falling over.
"That is not funny." Voldermort said sulkily evilly. But being a complete idiot he was he lowered his wand.
However at that exact moment, Nagini came came slithering in screaming at the top of him snake lungs. Samara came in shortly after, yelling at him about his children and child support.
Nagini was huge compared to Samara's 4 feet 6 but him being a wuss turned tail and hide behind Voldermort.
Harry was watching this all with amusement.
"You have 23 children to take care of, you scumbag. You knock me up, and break my heart. You will not abandon your children! You didn't even leave a number!" She shrieked. "You will help me take care of your children or you will pay a heavy child support bill ever month!" She was doing a god impression of 3 or 4 volcanoes going off at the same time, and Molly Weasely. You can't forget Molly Weasely when she's really pissed at the twins.
"I...I..." Nagini stuttered. He needed to distract her with something. "I can't, my master won't let Me.," he pointed with his tail at Voldermort. It worked; Samara turned her attention from Nagini to Voldermort.
"Why won't you let Nagini take care of his children?" Samara shrieked.
Voldermort could only stare at Samara. How could she, a lowly snake, talk to him like that? How dare she.
"How dare you talk to me like that? Do you know who I am?" he hissed.
"No I don't. And I don't care if you're God himself. Nagini will be taking care of his children if I have to drag him out by my teeth." she threatened.
She threatened him. A mere snake, threatened him. The almighty Lord Voldermort.
"He will not being going anywhere as long as I'm alive." He yelled evily.
Harry winced. Not the best way he could have formed that sentence.
"Fine!" she hissed, with that she struck forward biting him hard. Injecting him with her poison.
Harry and Nagini could only watch as, only moments later Voldermort dropped dead.
Samara turned on Nagini. Nagini having more sense then Voldermort, caved in and followed her out. To a life of responsibility. At least it was better then what his ex-master got.
Harry stood by himself in the room, looking down at the dead body that was once his mortal enemy. Sad really. But it was good really Voldermort never achieved immortality, as he's so wanted. Who would be able to stand that funky smell forever?
Shaking his head, he turned and headed towards the exit. Nobody was there to stop him. All the ex-Death Eathers where having a huge party, celebrating the death or the funky smell.
Moral: Never, ever, ever piss of a mother snake when she's trying to get the father to do something. Especially if she's poisonous.
End