Chapter 1.

"I am sorry to say this but until the overall investigation is over, you are suspended, Dr. Reid."

Reid looked up and his eyes focused on Strauss, sitting in front of him. A sense of heaviness stuck his throat, his ears denied the entry of the words and his brain unable to accept the interpretation of the information that it has just received.

"I expect a full report on this incident from your side, Agent Hotcher."

"And Dr. Reid." Strauss continued. "Can I have your gun and credentials?"

Reid stood up, although his hands protested, he handed over the items demanded by Strauss.

"You two may leave."

Reid turned around and started to walk out, to catch up with his boss. "Hotch, listen…." Reid spoke the moment they were out of Strauss's room.

"What?" Hotch cut in with a raised tone of voice. "There is nothing left for me to listen."

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to put you in such position."

"It's too late for that, don't think, Reid?" Hotch stood in front of Reid, hands crossed against the chest. "I told you before that you are not the only one in the room back there. What you did today is totally unacceptable. Two innocent people died, you almost died and you put everybody's life in jeopardy and a prisoner escaped. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I am sorry." Reid barely whispered.

"I really didn't expect this from you, Reid." Hotch shook his head before he walked away leaving Reid to be crushed by his words.

Reid knew it, he knew this would happen. Suffocating with Hotch's words, Reid walked down to his desk to grab his bag.

Reid's eyes danced around and found his friend's eyes to purposely stay away from him. He has created enough mess today and he didn't want to create anymore. He didn't want to form any more stress situations, so, he walked away, ignoring Emily, JJ, Rossi and Morgan just like the way they were keeping their eyes off him.

He wouldn't blame them though but his heart just hurt so much to realize the consequences his actions. There were no words to justify his actions, two innocent people died and he was fully responsible.

Reid grabbed his jacket and his bag before he walked out of his office.

"Reid…."

Reid turned around and saw Garcia standing.

"Hey," His voice was barely audible.

"They are not angry with you." Garcia said as she walked forward, closer to him.

"I know, probably just upset with me." Reid tried to smile, but it never worked.

"Are you okay?" Garcia asked, touching Reid's bandage on his forehead.

"It doesn't really hurt anymore." Reid said.

"You look horrible, Reid. Just go back home and try to sleep, okay?" Garcia said with motherly tone.

"I guess…." Reid trailed off. "I got suspended."

Garcia remained silent. "Reid… I…"

"It's okay, Garcia." Reid cut in. "I deserve it."

"No, Reid. You did…."

"Two people died because of me…." Tears were clearly visible at the corner of his eyes.

"But seven others lived because of your brave decision."

"I should go…." Reid said suddenly. "Don't worry about me."

Garcia watched as Reid disappeared into the elevator. She barged into the office again.

"Why are you doing this to him?" She yelled towards Morgan, JJ, Emily and Rossi.

"There is nothing we could, Garcia." JJ said, feeling tired.

"At least you could talk to him, he almost died today!" Garcia said again.

"Garcia," Morgan called. "It is a very complicated situation."

"Then, uncomplicated it." Garcia pleaded again.

"There is nothing we could do, Strauss thinks whatever he did was wrong." Rossi spoke.

"Look, he doesn't care of Strauss, all he cares about is us. You know that." Gracia argued again.

"That's the point, Garcia." Emily said. "We are not angry with him because of what had happened today, we don't care what Strauss thinks about him. All we want is … he has to stop putting himself in danger."

In the meantime, Reid walked out, feeling drained. He could barely walk, but he had to. Reid stopped for a second and leaned against the lamp post on the street. Suddenly, out of control, he cried, he shed tears like a kid. Tears rolled down his cheeks and honestly, he doesn't care about the stranger's eyes, gazing at him as they walked by.

Reid wished that he could wind back, he wished to change back everything but no… nothing will change. The damage was done. Reid stood back on his legs and wiped off his tears. He pushed aside his thought and wished to just head back home and crashed on his bed.

Reid resumed walking and started to cross the road.

"Hey, look out!"

One guy with a girl beside him on the other side of the road yelled at him, pointing his finger towards a certain direction. Reid followed the finger and gasped when he saw a black van speeding towards his way. Unfortunately for him, Reid was in the middle of the road.

Just in a split second, even before Reid could blink, the van with full speed, ran over him, tossing him meters away from where he was originally on the road.

"Sir, can you hear me? Hang on, help is on the way."

The words rang in his ears but nothing mattered to him anymore. His job was hanging on the line, he lost his friends whom he considered as his own family … their trust, more importantly, he don't know if he would get them back, if things would ever be the same again.

For what does he need to hang on anymore?

Wait... No, he can't give up. Suddenly, when his life was barely hanging, the memories of her, her smile, her beautiful face, the hope she kept on him, the promise he made to her, gushed through his minds. He can't just leave her.

And after everything that had happened today, he can't just die. He did what had to do.

No, he can't die. He has to fight back. He need to survive this.

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