A/N: I'm sorry this was supposed to go up on Christmas Eve but I had a blackout, then my internet went out and everything is just a mess up here so this is a day late! Also, this was supposed to be purely humorous but it kind of all went south in the end, why does the angst always poke its head in when I'm writing Royai? Urk! Also this is going to be a two shot, so sorry if I kind of left it off a bit sad here, there is a happy ending somewhere.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

It was that time of year again. Roy sat on a stool in his aunt's bar watching the vast amount of guest's vibe to the pumping music and drink to their heart's content. It was quite a popular event in Central, Madame Christmas' annual Christmas Eve extravaganza. She had to live up to her title one way or another. On these nights the bar would be packed with all sorts of people just wanting to let loose and have fun. It had only been an hour since it started, and they would probably be going all night, (or at least until everyone passed out) but Roy was not having much fun at all. You would think that he would enjoy this kind of scene, as much as he did like a drink or two he preferred being in the company of a small group of people or even alone while doing so. This crazy party scene as just a bit much for him, the Madame made him attend every single year. He thought if he kept going that he would get used to it, so far that hasn't been the case.

He was downing the last of his whisky as he saw Vanessa toddling towards him. She swung her arm around his neck whilst slightly splashing her drink onto his pants. How she could be this tipsy in just an hour was a mystery. Christmas' girls never ceased to amaze him, they could be so flaky and shallow but they were all extremely skilled at gathering intelligence. Vanessa had always been one of the girls he was closest with but he really couldn't stand her when she was this drunk.

"Roooooooooy, would you like to dance?" She slurred into his ear. "All that crazy military stuff is over now and everything is peaceful again! You shouldn't be so tense!"

"I'm not tense; you know I'm not a fan of these huge parties." Roy tried to increase the space between their faces.

She retracted her arm from his neck and chugged down the rest of her drink in one gulp. "Well, can't say I didn't try! Madame, why is Roy such a party pooper?"

He hadn't even notice his guardian stepping into the scene from behind the bar. "You know he'd rather be playing with his Elizabeth right now."

Vanessa crossed her arms. "Of course! Am I not good enough for you Roy?"

She knew perfectly well that he wasn't interested in anyone but a certain blonde adjutant of his but in her drunken state he wasn't even sure she remembered her own name. "I think I'll be leaving now."

Vanessa stormed off but seconds later she was dancing and having a good time once again. Madame focused her attention back to her stepson. "Leaving so soon? I thought you'd at least stay for the free shots at midnight this year." Her voice laced with sarcasm.

"You know I never stay."

"It's alright boy, just make sure you don't overdo it this year. I'm still not forgiving you for the year I found you in this hospital on Christmas morning, that must've shaved three years off my life I was so worried."

"Don't worry." He gave her a smile before swiftly exiting the bar, destination in mind.

Riza Hawkeye had always liked Christmas, even though she hadn't much of a family to celebrate with these days she found herself with endless amount of holiday cheer each year. Her mother had always celebrated Christmas thoroughly for the few years that Riza had remembered before she died. Her father never got into it but didn't mind the extra sweets and the gifts. One of her fondest memories was of her mom's homemade gingerbread cookies, she made some herself every year but she could never perfect them the way her mother had.

She had knit herself a Christmas sweater many years ago and she still wore it every year. The snowflakes and reindeers encased in the fabric were pretty well executed, she didn't think her knitting stills were still up to par but she had been wrong. She also bought little reindeer antlers for Hayate so he could be in the Christmas mood as well; he seemed to enjoy wearing them as he pranced around the house well aware of his owner's joyous mood.

There was one more thing that had yet to happen; three loud knocks on her door signalled the beginning of her true Christmas Eve tradition. She picked up Hayate in her arms and went to open her door, not surprised at all by her superior officer in his civilian clothes at her doorstep.

"Merry Christmas sir, what brings you here so late in the evening?"

"It's not Christmas yet, and you know why I'm here." Riza automatically moved to the side and allowed him into her apartment, closing the door behind her. "Hey Hayate, nice antlers." He gave the dog a part on the head and he responded with a happy "Yip!"

Roy took a large exaggerated sniff of the apartment and smirked. "Ah, the wonderful scent of Riza's homemade gingerbread never fails to satiate my senses. I hope there's a bunch left for me.

"As always sir," she put down her dog and went to the kitchen to grab the bowl of fragrant cookies. "I hope you ate dinner before this."

Roy started nibbling on the cookies, "You're not my mother Hawkeye. My own stepmother just wanted me to make sure I don't overdo it this year."

"In that case, you better eat more cookies."

The cookies were gone, the conversation had died, and it always began with one little suggestion.

"Riza, do you have any wine?" He asked.

"Red or white?" she replied.

Neither Roy nor Riza were light weights when it came to drinking, especially Riza. She usually chose not to drink as she always wanted to be alert just in case something happened, but there were times when casual social drinking was a necessity and she had a glass or two, but it didn't affect her at all. She had one time even downed four glasses and she went on as though nothing had happened. Roy could hold his liquor as well, not as well as Riza but he managed. He was already a bit inebriated from Madame's party and he wasn't sure if the cookies were helping but as him and Riza both finished their fifth glass each he was starting to feel just a bit tipsy.

"Riza, did I ever tell you that you have beautiful arms?"

"No you haven't sir."

"Well, you do."

"Thank you, sir."

"Riza, you don't have any wine left." He gestured towards the empty bottles.

Their little drinking escapade was far from over and she knew they needed more alcohol.

"Do you want some vodka?"

It had been sitting in the back of her cupboard for most of the year. It was a gift from Olivier Armstrong given to her the last time the team had ventured into Briggs, giving Falman his last farewell as he would be permanently stationed there. She had slipped it to her in private, informing her that she would need it if she continues to follow Mustang around. She had almost forgotten about it, she hadn't found a reason to drink it yet.

As soon as she popped the cap the scent burned the rims of her nostrils. Is this stuff even legal? The people up in Briggs must have livers of steel, she thought.

Mustang must've also been hit by the smell and asked, "Does it say what percent alcohol that is?"

"I don't see anything. I'm sure it's not lethal or anything sir, it was a gift from a friend." She decided not to mention who the friend was; Mustang would've probably chucked it out the window at that very moment if he knew.

She poured a glass for both of them and they hesitantly brought it up to their lips, the poison searing their throats as it went down. Mustang seemed okay but Riza thanked only her iron will that she was able to get the stuff down without gagging.

"Wow, where did your friend get this stuff? I haven't drunk anything that strong since Hughes bought that bottle off the street back when we were in the academy!"

Riza felt like her throat was on fire and she quickly poured and downed a glass of water.

"Hey Riza, you okay, this stuff too strong for you?" He chuckled a bit.

"I'm fine and I don't know exactly where she got it. It's not too strong for me, I'm fine." She lied.

"Oh, really, if that's the case then finish off your glass." He raised an eyebrow as he drank the rest of his own in one gulp.

Riza wasn't sure if it was because the alcohol was finally getting to her but she just blurted out, "Is that a challenge, sir?"

The funniest part of when Riza was starting to get drunk is that she didn't even realize it herself. They both had now finished two glasses of the vodka from hell and were trying to sip a third. Riza's face was completely flushed red but she kept her stoic demeanor, completely unaware of her wavering thoughts.

"Riza, when did you get a reindeer?"

"I don't have a reindeer."

"Yes you do! Right there, in the corner." He pointed to Hayate, who was falling slowly falling asleep.

"Sir, that's my dog. Those antlers are not real, I told you this earlier."

"No way, that's definitely a reindeer."

She got up, almost losing her balance as she stood, walked over to Hayate and removed his headgear.

"See sir, it's just an accessory."

"NO! RIZA! YOU KILLED HIM! YOU... you... that's plastic." Roy looked stunned.

"Good observation sir."

Roy straightened his shirt, calmed down and tried to smoothly deviate from that little mistake. "Riza, we're not on duty. How many times have I told you to call me Roy after hours?"

"Alright, Sir Roy."

"No, drop the sir! Call me just Roy."

"Alright, Just Roy."

"No! Roy! Call me Roy!"

"Roy." She breathed.

Why did that have to come out so husky. It sounded so... sexual. No, now was not the time to think of those things. They were not allowed, they... damn she looked good in those skin tight pants and even that knit sweater. He wasn't sure why he was so turned on by the whole situation all of a sudden. He shook his head and poured himself another glass, the night was not over yet.

Riza never said anything but she was pretty proud of her high alcohol tolerance; it was almost as if her body was meant for this. Her reputation though had been ruined by the bottle of Northern vodka. Her legs quivered when she tried to walk, her head felt dizzy and she was as red as a tomato. Roy had urgently needed to use the bathroom and he hadn't come back yet and she was a bit worried. Finally she heard the bathroom door creak open, she hadn't heard him throw up unfortunately, which meant she had not won this challenge yet, but she didn't see him coming back yet, strange. That was when she heard him yell.

"Riza! Riza help, I can't see!"

She stood up so quickly and lost her balance again, this time she turned too sharply and her face hit the ground.

"RIZA! RIZA! HELP!" Roy's yells became louder.

She tried to reorient herself and was able to stand back up and wobble towards the bathroom, but her head was now throbbing more than before and the room was spinning in circles.

"RIIIIZAAA! I'M BLIND!" Roy was hysterical.

"Roy, would you calm the fuck down? I'm coming!" She finally was able to make it to the bathroom door and was greeted by Roy with his arms stretched out in front of him feeling around to know where to move, his eyes squeezed shut. His hands brushed the softness of her chest and he let them linger there for a bit too long before he decided he probably should remove them.

"Riza, please help. My sight is gone!" Riza's mind was clear enough to see the cause of his problem right away.

"Roy, open your eyes."

"My eyes aren't closed."

"Yes, your eyes are closed Roy. Open them."

"I'm telling you Riza, my eyes are wide open, see?" He stuck his face in hers, his eyes squeezing shut even harder.

"Okay Roy, listen to me." It was hard to sound convincing when her words were slurring so much, "I need you to calm down. Take a deep breath."

He did as he was told.

"Now, open your eyes."

"I told you, they are open."

With that Riza just decided to give him a hard slap across the face and his eyes shot open.

"Riza what the hell was that for—hey, I can see!"

"Idiot." she muttered.

Sometime around three in the morning they found themselves on the sofa, glass number whatever in hand, barely conscious. Neither of them had thrown up or passed out yet but you could see they were both having a hard time staying upright.

"Roooy, why are we like this?" Riza laid her head on his shoulder, unable to sit up any longer.

"Like what?" Roy questioned.

"Everyone else spends Christmas Eve with their families, awaiting a morning of presents and joy. What do we do every Christmas Eve? We get shit-faced."

"It's not we have much of a family to spend time with each year, between my stepmom and your grandfather I'd say we are the definition of dysfunction."

"Thaaaat's not what I meant!" Riza hit his arm lightly and pouted. He remembered the first time he had seen Riza this drunk, it was at her own birthday celebration and Rebecca insisted that she not stop drinking until she wanted to dance on the table with her. Now that was a night Roy was never going to forget, no matter how inebriated he was.

She continued, "I meant I wish we could be normal sometimes. Like if we weren't in the military and stuff. I heard Winry is pregnant with her second child; she's more than ten years younger than me! Can you believe that? Edward works fast!" Riza was being extremely animated with her speech, even though her head still lied on his shoulder.

Roy almost felt himself sober up a little thinking about having a normal Christmas, with a family. "You know that's not an option anymore, Riza."

"It's not fucking fair! If you never joined the military we'd be living a happy life, married, with children, not having to deal with all this bullshit, never having to kill so many innocent people, to not have all this fucking blood on our hands! You loved me, you always did, why did it have to turn out like this? All I imagine on Christmas is us and our family waking up to presents under the tree and perfect gingerbread cookies and just being normal!" Riza looked like she was about to burst out crying.

Roy was not shocked at her words. She would never say that if she was sober, she'd always try her hardest never to say anything about these desires locked deep within her heart that never wanted to have anything to do with the military. He always knew she had them but to hear her yell at him so openly hurt. He always knew it was his fault that she had to go through so much and he could never forgive himself.

He took her head onto his lap and just patted her head softly. "I'm so sorry Riza. I'm sorry."

"I always wanted two kids, a boy and a girl. We'd live in a nice undeveloped town like Resembool, have modest jobs and come home every night to a home cooked meal. We'd sleep in the same bed every night and we'd live carefree as our children grew up and we got older until eventually we would retire and spend the last years of our life never leaving each other's arms. Fuck! Now my vision is getting blurry."

He wiped the tears out of her eyes with his sleeve and just held her close. "Listen Riza, it's not too late. We have time."

"No Roy, your dream is more important. Your dream is what I live for. My other stupid dream is not a possibility. It will never happen; I don't deserve to have it happen. It's too fucking late." She snuggled deeper into his arms. "Too fucking late." She mumbled again. Her breathing evened out into soft whirrs against his chest and she fell asleep in his arms.

He had won the drinking challenge but he didn't feel like celebrating.