Because I know the BBC won't give us what we want to see.
Set after Series 19, Ep 61/62, 'Group Animal'.
It's been a while, so to say I'm 'rusty' is an understatement! I just couldn't help it after the episodes this week.
xx
Out of the Darkness
"All bleeding eventually stops. All bleeding eventually stops. All bleeding eventually stops."
It had become his mantra. His lifeline, securing him to reality. It had plagued his every waking moment and stalked his dreams.
All bleeding eventually stops.
And yet, with her lying on the table in front of him, her blood seeping through his fingers, the blood wasn't stopping. It was gushing, dark and threatening, draining his best friend of her life right in front of his eyes, and there was nothing he could do to about it.
Not all bleeding stopped.
Not without taking her with it.
The only thing that was stemming the bleeding at that moment had been his hand pressed firmly against the wound. The hand that Professor Gaskell had told him to move. So he could experiment and maybe, just maybe, stop the bleeding long enough to get her to surgery.
He didn't seem to understand. This wasn't just any patient; this was Jac Naylor. She couldn't die. Not now. Not like this.
All bleeding eventually stops.
Sacha Levy yawned and stretched out a knot in his shoulder, trying to erase the memory of that day from his mind. It had been a long shift.
Scratch that. It has been a long fortnight.
The aftermath of Fredrik's return to the hospital had been felt throughout every ward, and he had spent over an hour on the phone to Essie every night since; a comforting voice to help her drift off to sleep for a few hours.
Sacha couldn't remember the last time he had felt as scared as he had been when Fredrik decided to pull out that gun. So utterly terrified that he was going to lose someone that meant so much to him. Not since the day he had been told about Rachel's leukaemia had he felt so useless.
And it had been Jac that had helped him through the cancer treatment. Through the long nights of sitting at Rachel's hospital bed or shaving his hair in support of his daughter. She had been there to listen as only Jac could, and had even let him hug her when he really needed to. Reluctantly, of course.
Jac Naylor was the most stubborn individual he had ever met in his life. And one of the most brilliant surgeons he would ever know. Quick thinking, resilient, strong minded. Stubborn. There were many ways to describe his best friend, and he knew that a lot of people would have some choice words of their own. Yes, she could be a bully. And yet Sacha seemed to be one of the only people who could see through the hard exterior.
She pushed people, that much was true. And when she did, you saw their best work. She knew what they were capable of before they did.
She also pushed people away. Even Sacha. Repeatedly. She could be cruel and spiteful and he brushed it all aside because underneath, he knew how scared she really was. He saw that when she had dealt with her own cancer scare and has shouted abuse at him for getting too close. And he took it. Her verbal punching bag. He took it all gladly, because the worst thing she could do was bottle it up.
She was his best friend. He couldn't imagine his life, never mind the hospital, without her.
Which was why he had been so terrified when he had found her lifeless body at the bottom of the stairs, her skin paper white against the crimson blood that had pooled around her.
Cutting into her skin with that scalpel had been one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. Closely followed by trusting Gaskell enough to save her life when there was no other option available.
But he had. They had, between them. They had saved her, miraculously, with make-shift equipment, their combined skill and a lot of luck. And he had spent the next week sat by her hospital bed willing her to wake up. To let him know she was ok.
Fletch had also visited every day with the excuse of checking on both Jac and Ollie to keep the Darwin ward updated. But Sacha could tell that he was trying to distract himself from thinking about Raf. He had sat next to him in ITU as Sacha watched over Jac and Ollie, not daring to leave their side, and Fletch had told him about Jac's panic attack. How she had finally crumbled and collapsed into his arms.
"I haven't told anyone else," Fletch had admitted. "But you need to know."
Sacha had wanted nothing more than to follow her out of theatre when he saw the tears running down her cheeks, and yet he knew he had to stay with Hanssen. He was just glad Fletch was there to catch her when she fell. He had been so caught up in his own head, focusing on his own depression, that he hadn't stopped to think of Jac.
Fran. Guy. Emma. Jasmine. She had lost her sister. She had been through more than most people would deal with in a lifetime and not once had she let her emotions be known. Without Sacha as the punching bag she had bottled everything up, pushed it away from the surface, until there was no room for anything else. She bottled it up so tightly that when her fears eventually got the better of her there was no way of stopping the flood of emotions that escaped.
He should have noticed the signs. He should have known that she wasn't just nervous before surgery. She was terrified. And that wasn't his Jac. His Jac could stitch a beating, bleeding heart together whilst holding a conversation about how incompetent her new F1s were. Surgery didn't scare her, but not feeling prepared did.
She had needed his help and he hadn't noticed. He had let Fletch be the one to sit with her when she had stumbled right in front of his eyes, and it wasn't until now that he realised why he had done so. He couldn't bear to see Jac looking so vulnerable. She was the strong one. Jac was always ok; she didn't want help.
But that didn't mean she didn't need it.
And after all the support she had given him over the years, he had let her down when it mattered the most.
She was just as fragile as everyone else. Even if she did act like she was made of steel.
If Fletch hadn't been there, he dreaded to think what would have happened.
He may have missed the signs then but as he sat with her in ITU he couldn't help but notice how small she looked. The formidable Jac Naylor, looking so pale she could shatter with a single touch.
And he had been there to see the fear in her eyes when she eventually woke up.
It had taken longer than they'd hoped; Professor Gaskell was in practically every hour to check on both Jac and Ollie's progress, commenting on the fact that Oliver was likely to stay in an induced coma for over a week to give the swelling enough time to go down, and that he expected Jac to wake up soon.
But soon didn't come soon enough for Sacha. He was getting fed up of Gaskell's optimistic outlook on their progress when he knew she should already be awake.
"Her body just needs time to recover, she's been through a lot," he kept reminding Sacha.
But Gaskell didn't need to tell him that; it had been Sacha that had had to cause her the pain in the first place. She was going to have one hell of a scar.
"You really don't know what Jac's like, do you?" Sacha had asked him one day when he was reminded again that they just had to wait. "Jac Naylor does not rest. She doesn't 'take it easy.' I'm telling you, once she's back at work you'll see exactly what I'm talking about."
Gaskell has smiled at him like you would to a deluded relative who thinks that everything is fine when in actual fact it's the complete opposite, but Sacha didn't care. He knew Jac better than anyone, and he knew that she was going to get through this.
He had been sat by her bed like every other night that week, watching her chest steadily rise and fall, when he could almost sense the change in her breathing. The fluttering behind her eyelids. She had woken up with a start, a fear in her eyes that scared Sacha just as much.
"Jac," he had placed his hands on her shoulders, trying to ground her to reality. "You're ok. I'm here. Everything's ok."
She had seemed to relax slightly, her eyes glistening with tears, until she turned her head and spotted Oliver lying next to her. Her eyes widened, her breath caught and suddenly every muscle in her body seemed to tense. Sacha heard the heart rate monitor spike and could see the pain course through her body.
"Jac, look at me. Look at me," he pleaded and yet she seemed fixated on Ollie, her hands shaking as she gripped her ribs in agony.
Sacha couldn't help but feel guilty when he had ordered for Jac's pain medication to be increased, knowing for a fact that she would drift back to sleep after it was given. But he couldn't stand the look of fear and pain in her eyes. She had looked right out through him like he wasn't there.
There had been so much blood on the table in the lab. She had been so pale. What if they had taken too long? What if she'd never be the same again? Who knew what the blood loss had done to her body. He needed his Jac back, stubborn and scowling.
Fletch had arrived soon after to Sacha leaning on the side of her bed, his head in his hands.
"What's wrong?" He asked immediately, glancing between Jac and Ollie.
Sacha closed his eyes again and looked away.
"She woke up."
"What?" Sacha could hear the elation in Fletch's voice and didn't dare look at him. "Well that's great news, isn't it?"
"Yeah," Sacha nodded. "Maybe."
"What do you mean, maybe?"
"I don't even know if she recognised me," Sacha looked up now and could see the worry on Fletch's face. "I was a coward. She woke up, saw Ollie, panicked, and I upped her pain meds. I couldn't see her hurt like that, not after what she went through last week."
Fletch placed a comforting hand on the back of Sacha's shoulder.
"Listen, if Jac's awake then there's hope for Ollie, right? She'll soon be arguing with the nurses, which is sure to wind Ollie up. They're tough, both of them," Fletch smiled. "The last thing she'll have seen is Fredrik in front of her with a gun. No wonder she panicked when she woke up, I still do the same now and I didn't even see him that night."
Sacha nodded in agreement and ran his hands through his hair. He was glad that Jac had finally opened up to someone other than himself. Fletch had just the right amount of patience and perseverance to see through her hard exterior and know how vulnerable she really was.
After all, even the strongest steel would bend under enough pressure.
The second time Jac woke up Sacha had made sure he was there before she had the chance to panic, terrified that she wouldn't notice him. But as soon as she had opened her eyes, blinking away the pain, they had found his and he saw the small smile that graced her lips.
"Hey, you," Sacha had grinned as Jac tried to focus on the world around her, squinting against the harsh lights of ITU.
"Hi," she replied, her voice hoarse and her body tense. "What happened?"
That had been a difficult conversation.
It was her fault that he had been placed in danger.
She had been the one to suggest he perform the PFO surgery with Morven, because she was too afraid of breaking down again.
She was going to leave Holby. She was going to run away from her ward, her patients, her surgical life. If she'd gone back into theatre then, she would have changed her mind about going. And that wasn't fair on anyone.
The only person she could trust to take over for her in theatre was the surgeon currently sat in front of her, the sparkle now gone from his brilliantly blue eyes.
It was her fault that Oliver Valentine may never work again.
"Try again," Jac instructed and Ollie frowned in concentration, his eyes focused on hers. And yet there was silence.
Jac felt a lump forming in her throat and tried to push it away. The last thing Ollie needed right now was for her to look weak.
"Valentine, focus," Jac said again, bringing his gaze back to her, but she didn't miss the confusion that flashed across his features. "Who am I?"
He frowned, opened his mouth and closed it again, his hands shaking in frustration.
"I'm giving you free reign to call me whatever you like, Valentine. Don't let it go to waste."
Nothing.
"It's ok," Jac smiled. "It'll take time. You'll get there."
Ollie exhaled and threw his head back, closing his eyes to the world and shaking his head slightly.
"Oliver!"
Ollie opened his eyes again and looked back at Jac.
"Don't you dare start feeling sorry for yourself. You can beat this."
He raised an eyebrow.
"Don't look at me like that," her voice was stern. "I'm already a surgeon down, I need you back at work as soon as possible."
Ollie smirked, then looked from Jac to the door and back.
"Yes, I'm going," Jac rolled her eyes. "I need to find Gaskell and convince him to discharge me."
Ollie shook his head and gave Jac a knowing look. She sighed, pushing her hair away from her face. She knew that's not what he had meant.
"I can't leave," she said quietly, looking away. "Not now. Not after everything. I have to stay in Darwin."
Ollie nodded this time.
"I meant everything I said," Jac looked at him properly now, trying to ignore the shortness of his usually perfect hair. "You're a brilliant surgeon. And the only reason I have ever pushed you is because I know you're capable of more. Which is why I'll keep pushing you. You're not giving up now. I won't let you."
Ollie blinked and frowned, confusion in his eyes.
"Oliver?"
And yet he seemed to look right through her.
Jac sighed, taking a hold of his hand before pushing herself away from the bed, wincing at the pain that shot through her ribs. She took a deep breath and tried to steady herself as the world spun. She knew Ollie would be watching. And yet she also knew that he wouldn't remember this conversation by the time she has left the room.
It was her fault that he wouldn't remember. Because she had sent him into that theatre. She had put him in Fredrik's firing line.
The room steadied and Jac left without looking back at Ollie.
The urge to leave the hospital once Jac had left Ollie's room was overwhelming. She wanted nothing more than to go home and curl up on the sofa with Emma, an annoying animated film on in the background as she listened to the sound of her daughter's laughter.
The hospital was quiet. It was late. She could leave and no one would notice for at least an hour.
Well, she knew that wasn't true. But it would be at least an our before her disappearance was reported to Hanssen. Or Sacha.
Pulling the sleeves of her jumper over her hands, she turned away from Ollie's room and headed for her office.
"Mr Levy?"
Sacha blinked and snapped out of his reverie. Dom was standing in front of him, a stack of files in his arms.
"Yes," Sacha forced a smile and ran his hands through his messy hair. "What's up?"
"Well, Mr Anderson in bed three is complaining of stomach pains but I think it may be trapped wind. His diet leaves a lot to be desired and he keeps burping," Dom nodded towards the patient and raised an eyebrow at Sacha. "Change to half hour obs?"
"Yeah," Sacha nodded. "I'm sure it's nothing but if anything changes then send him for a CT scan."
Dom nodded in response and tilted his head slightly.
"I can hold the fort if you want to go?" Dom offered, glancing around the ward. "We'll be fine."
Sacha smiled. Was it that obvious that his mind was elsewhere?
"I won't be long," Sacha promised. "I'll probably get told to go away anyway."
Dom smirked.
"If anyone can warm the heart of the ice queen, it's you," he added, turning back to the ward. "Let Ollie know we're thinking of him while you're there."
Sacha watched him leave, knowing that Dom was just like everyone else that worked with Jac; he only knew the surgeon. The ice queen. The formidable force on Darwin.
Dom caught his eye again from across the ward and gave him the 'just go already' look.
And so he left Keller and headed to Darwin.
Sacha couldn't say that he was surprised when he entered Jac's room to find it empty. It was only a matter of time really, he knew she was too stubborn to listen to what was best for her.
Sitting still and doing as she was told weren't exactly at the top of Jac Naylor's list of talents.
Sacha exhaled and ran his hand through his hair, trying to work out where she would have gone, then headed to Ollie's room. But just as he rounded the corner he walked straight into Fletch who had been coming in the other direction.
They exchanged apologies and Fletch danced on the balls of his feet slightly.
"You eh, you haven't seen-"
"You tried Ollie's room as well then?" Sacha smiled.
"Yeah," Fletch responded. "He's asleep. Not that he would remember if she had been there."
There was a pause, both realising that they had found themselves in the same situation.
"What now?" Fletch asked eventually.
"We'll find her when she wants to be found," Sacha smiled sadly. "This isn't the first time I've searched the hospital for Jac Naylor and I doubt it'll be my last."
The words caught in his throat – it had nearly been the last. With her slowing heart beating under his hand, he had nearly had to watch as she took her last breath.
He had to stop thinking like this.
"She usually ends up outside," Sacha smiled again. "The roof or the fire exit. If you need somewhere to start, that's usually where I find her."
Fletch nodded and headed back the way he had came, taking out his phone as he did so.
Sacha stayed where we was. He hadn't lied to Fletch; it was true, he usually found her outside after her disappearing act. And yet this time felt different. Jac would want to be found, even if she'd never admit it. And despite how strong he knew she was, he also knew she'd be in pain. Not just physically.
Sacha's feet seemed to take him to Jac's office before he'd noticed where he was going, his hand on the door instantly. He smirked, before knocking softly and letting himself in.
Sacha paused at the door, letting out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding.
"I knew you'd be here."
"Well done, Sherlock."
There was silence as Sacha watched Jac twist a loose thread of her jumper around her fingers, her knees tucked up on the sofa in her office. Her usually perfect hair lay limply over the shoulders, her skin even paler than it usually was.
"You shouldn't be in here."
"It's my office," Jac shrugged, not meeting his eyes.
"You should be in bed."
"Shut up, Levy."
Sacha smiled and sat down beside her, close enough for their shoulders to touch and hoping she wouldn't move away.
Silence again. Not awkward; Sacha knew she'd talk when she wanted to.
"I can't stay there any more, it's driving me crazy," Jac spoke eventually and Sacha took the opportunity to wrap his arm around her shoulders, feeling her tense under his touch. But she didn't pull away.
"You do know what you've just been through, don't you?"
"I've been told," she spoke to the ground again and Sacha wanted nothing more than to turn her head towards his and work out exactly what she was thinking.
"I don't think you get it, Jac."
"What's to get?" Jac looked up now, her eyes swimming with tears. "He was a nutter with a gun, targeting any member of staff that got in his way. And what did I do? Did I try to stop him? Did I try to reason with him? No. I tried to run."
"Jac-"
"Don't tell me that you'd have done the same," Jac shook her head, her voice wobbling. "Because you don't know that. You don't know how you would have reacted. But I do. I acted like a coward. All I wanted to do was run away, to get Emma and leave, I didn't fight."
"Stop it," Sacha warned. "Don't start this. None of this was your fault."
"But it is," Jac said seriously and Sacha was suddenly worried by the look in her eyes. "I was leaving. I was leaving Holby for good. Hanssen's probably told you by now, but I was leaving this place for the very last time. I'm the one that told Ollie to perform the PFO op on David. I'm the reason he was in that theatre."
Sacha had known, of course. They had found a bloodied envelope in Raf's pocket containing her letter of resignation, which Hanssen had torn up and thrown away without a single word.
"You can't seriously think-"
"I've been pushing him for months," Jac continued. "I was the one that convinced him to stay, because he's one of the best surgeons I've every worked with. When he puts his mind to it. When he concentrates. No, he's not the most skilled, but he's one of the most compassionate people I've ever met. And you know what I told him?"
She looked at him properly now, waiting for an answer. Sacha shook his head.
"I told him that status was something you earn. That I owned him. I don't know why he's stayed as long as he has when all I've ever done is push him. Status may be earned but he has so much compassion that it's overflowing. And that's certainly not something he's learnt from me."
"You've made him into the surgeon he is."
"Or was."
"Stop it, Jac."
"I went to see him," she stated, her voice wavering again.
Sacha smiled. Of course she had. He and Fletch had both known that she would have been there at some point today.
"He hasn't spoke a word since he woke up. His memory has been affected. He can't work as a surgeon if he can't remember what he's doing."
"This still isn't your fault."
Jac closed her eyes and Sacha noticed how exhausted she looked.
"The only one to blame for any of this is Frederick," Sacha stated sternly before adding "You really should be in bed."
He watched her sigh and scrunch her eyes tighter. She was in pain. He could tell.
"Have you actually had the all clear to leave your room?"
"What do you think?"
Sacha chuckled. That was a stupid question really. Jac brought her hands to her head, pushing the heels of her hands into her eyes, and Sacha noticed her bandaged hand.
"Did you take your own cannula out?"
"Stop talking. I have a headache."
"I wonder why."
It was Sacha's turn to sigh. Jac needed fluids. And pain meds. But he wasn't sure how to convince her to go back to the ward.
"Jac?"
"You're still talking."
Sacha bit his lip. He'd have to be as stubborn as Jac if he was going to get anywhere.
"I'm taking you back to bed," Sacha said defiantly and heard a small chuckle.
"Don't say that too loudly, Levy. That's how rumours start."
Sacha knew he should be annoyed. Worried at the fact that she wasn't going to listen. But the stubborn red head in front of him was exactly what he had missed the last fortnight.
"I thought I'd lost you," he said quietly, more to himself than Jac.
Jac looked up at his words, her features softened, her eyes glistening.
"You can't get rid of me that easily," she said seriously, a small smirk hiding on the edge of her lips.
"Jac, to say what we did that night was experimental would be an understatement. You shouldn't be here. It shouldn't have worked."
"Well, I am," Jac lifted her hand slightly. "It did work. Maybe it shouldn't have, but it did."
"You could look a bit happier about it."
Jac smiled again and looked away.
"I just know how lucky I am that it was you that found me," Jac smiled and could feel the lump in her throat. "Thank you. If you hadn't- Emma-"
"Without Gaskell-"
"I know," Jac smiled again. "Without his experimental patch I may not be here. But I've spoken to him since. He told me what happened. What you said. What you did. Thank you"
Sacha nodded slowly, pulling her in tighter to his side and letting her lean her head on his shoulder. She didn't pull away, not even slightly. So very un-Jac like. He could tell how tired she really was.
"Nothing was sterile," Sacha continued. "You can't leave just yet, the risk of infection is too high."
"I feel fine."
"You would say that anyway. I know you, remember."
"That you do."
Jac took a deep breath and pushed herself away from Sacha, her hands clenching as she did so.
"I need to go," she stated. "Emma needs me home."
"Emma needs you well," Sacha pleaded. "Emma is fine. Jonny's got time off work, she's safe. Between Jonny and Fletch she's being looked after."
"I can't leave her with Fletch. He has enough to deal with. You know how close he was to Raf-"
Her voice caught in her throat again as she pushed away from Sacha and made her way out of her office.
"Jac, wait," Sacha said sternly and Jac paused, her hand already on the door. "You can't do this on your own."
Jac's trembling hand found her chest as she tried to steady her breathing, everything suddenly blurring out of focus. She had to concentrate. She couldn't let herself break down again. Not now. Not in front of Sacha. After everything that had happened in the last few weeks, the last thing he needed was to deal with calming her down.
"Just breathe," she told herself, her eyes closed as she tried to focus. "Breathe."
Jac clenched her fist and took a deep breath, a warmth spreading through her body that seemed to reach every cell and stop her world from tilting. It was only when she opened her eyes that she realised where the warmth was coming from; Sacha's strong arms wrapped around her waist in a hug that seemed to keep her on her feet. She hadn't even heard him move.
Jac turned around and leant her head against his chest, hoping he wouldn't notice the tears running silently down her cheeks. She had to hold it together. She couldn't fall apart now.
"Jac, you need to stay," Sacha soothed, running his hand along her back and feeling her relax slightly in his arms.
"I know," she said quietly into his chest. "I know. I'm not going anywhere."
She needed Holby just as much as it needed her.
Sacha almost carried Jac back to the sofa and sat her down in the middle, sitting next to her and pulling her close again.
"Sorry for the scar," he said, rubbing Jac's shoulder.
Jac laughed.
"I think I can forgive you. You only saved my life."
Sacha smiled.
"You know years ago, Elliot Hope made sure to only leave small scars instead of slicing me open. You obviously wanted to have more fun."
"Well, did Elliot Hope have to repair damage to your aorta?" Sacha tried to joke but he felt sick. If he could have avoided a scar as big as the one he had given her, he would have.
"I've just got a Sacha Levy signature now, that's all," Jac smiled. "Along with one from Elliot. And Ric. And Michael…"
"You need to get an autograph book, it's far less painful," Sacha felt Jac laugh slightly then wince again at the pain.
"You know how risky leaving is, Jac,"Sacha tried again. "Talking of scars. I know I said it before, but you lost so much blood. Your body had to work overtime just to stay alive because we didn't have the equipment to help you properly. And that includes your one remaining kidney."
"Blah, blah, Sacha, I know," Jac sighed. "I'll stay. I'll stay here until I'm discharged, ok? I just don't want to go back to the ward yet."
"Fine," Sacha agreed. "But soon."
Jac nodded slightly.
"I hope you've been a good patient?" He asked playfully.
"Of course."
"How many nurses have you argued with so far?"
Jac shrugged.
"None of them know what they're doing."
"So, all of them then?"
"Maybe."
Sacha continued to run his hand along her arm, her head leaning against his chest, and slowly felt her sink into the side of his body, her eyes fluttering closed.
There was a small knock at the door and Fletch entered soon after, smiling in relief.
"There you are," he raised an eyebrow. "I've just had a call from a very panicked nurse who has managed to lose her patient."
Jac smiled slightly but didn't move. Instead Fletch took a seat on the other side of the sofa and all three of them sat in silence in the darkening office. Nothing had to be said now.
"How's Emma?" Jac asked quietly, again trying to swallow the lump in her throat and barely opening her eyes. She was missing her daughter more than she could put into words.
"She's good," Fletch answered. "Jonny picked her up from mine this morning. Right after she drew me a very cute picture of Emma, mummy and Sarah the pig. On my living room wall."
Jac laughed again and winced.
"Apparently it was a masterpiece and it would be a travesty to wash it off."
"That's my girl."
Her daughter. Her baby. Jac would give up everything in a heartbeat if it meant keeping her safe.
"If I stay," Jac said sleepily to no one in particular. "What happens if I can't focus? All I can feel is my heart hammering against my chest. What if it happens again while I'm in surgery?"
"It won't," Sacha soothed. "Because you're never allowed to let everything build up like that again. Just take it out on me, whenever you want to."
"You're going to regret saying that," Fletch chuckled.
"In the nicest way possible, the thought of your heart beating that strongly makes me too happy to ever wish it didn't," Sacha said and could see Fletch nod in agreement out of the corner of his eye.
Jac's hand found Fletch's as she sunk further into the side of Sacha, struggling to stay awake.
He didn't say anything, just squeezed it reassuringly as they resumed their silence.
"What now?" Jac asked and both men looked at each other over the top of her head.
"Well, for starters you go back to the ward before my nurse freaks out any more than she has," Fletch stated. "And you listen to them. Listen to Gaskell. You stay there until you're discharged."
"And then you go home," Sacha finished. "You spend time with your daughter. Then you come back to work. Darwin needs you."
Jac smiled, the warmth from both Sacha and Fletch coursing through her body and numbing the pain that had been shooting through her ribs.
They were right. Darwin needed her just as much as Emma did.
She was a mother.
She was a surgeon.
And with Sacha and Fletch to help, she could be brilliant at both.