Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star. I do own some of the poetry and the songs used

Chapter 1: Ten Years

We both left, we both ran. He left because he had to, and I left because I couldn't handle it. I loved him and he loved me, so why couldn't we just be together? Why couldn't I tell him how I felt? God, I don't know why, but I do know one thing, I have regretted everyday of the past ten years that I didn't try and find him, that I didn't go after him.

I was sitting in the house that I was renting in Fiji and I was wearing a mango halter top and a light denim mini skirt and I was on the patio soaking in the sun. I got up and was walking barefoot onto the sand when I saw a familiar face. He still had his blue eyes, and his same cocky and crooked smile. I turned to walk back inside hoping that he didn't see me but, he did.

"Jude" he yelled running towards me form the beach. I turned back towards him, I saw him he was shirtless and I immediately melted in my place.

"How did you find me?" I asked him. I figured he probably followed me down here to tell me he was sorry.

"I was walking on the beach and I just saw you. I actually didn't know that you were here." He shyly admitted. I was actually hoping that he came to find me because I wanted him more than words could say right at this very moment.

"Oh" was all I managed to say. I remembered the last time that I saw him, I chose Jamie over him over ten years ago. I was married to Jamie now, and it looked like he had moved on because a woman was coming up to us.

"Jude this is Jessica, Jessica this is Jude." He said. I held out my hand and she shook it.

"It's nice to meet you Jude. Tommy talks about you all the time." She said with a huge smile on her face, so dating was definitely crossed off the list, could she be his sister? I don't know but, she looked about sixteen. "I'm not his date. I'm his daughter." She admitted.

"That was I was going to tell you before I left. It's the reason I waned you to come with me." He said.

"Jude, who are you talking to?" Jamie called from the house. He walked outside and he saw me Tommy, and Jessica. "I didn't know you were talking to him." Jamie hissed with a bit of ice in his tone.

"Jamie lay off it, I just saw her. Chill man." Tommy said to him.

"Jamie, we were friends for years and it's been a decade sine we have even spoken." I said to him

Jamie looked at Jessica and then looked at Tommy. "Is this you're new booty call?" Jamie asked him without hesitation.

"I'm his daughter you freak, plus I'm sixteen it's against the law." She spat at him.

"I'm sorry but, you're dad has a thing for underage girls." Jessica looked at him and smacked him across the face.

"Jamie, just go back inside and I'll be inside in a little while." I hissed. He turned around and he walked back inside. He looked like a wounded puppy dog that needed fixing and for the first time in my life I didn't care. I looked at Jessica and Tommy. "I'm sorry about him, he's a little bitter."

"It's fine, he still has his opinions." Tommy said. I laughed a little bit when he said that.

"Dad, I'm going to go back to the cottage and set everything up for tonight. Melissa and Alana will probably be there when you get back." She said. She kissed him on the cheek and she ran down the beach to the cottage three houses away from mine.

"Tommy, I know this is forward but who is her mother?" I asked him. He just looked at me and then he turned away like I was going to be repulsed by his response.

"Portia. She was pregnant when we broke up and I didn't know it. I found out when Portia was arrested because I was on her birth certificate as her birth father and DNA proves it. I was appointed her legal guardian and I didn't know how to tell you." He admitted it all to me. I didn't think that he would.

"Why did you want me to come with you?"

"Because I was scared. I wanted you to know and I couldn't find the words to say it so I, was just going to show you and hoped that you understood." He said. I was fighting the urge to kiss him, I was.

"Wow, she was six and you didn't know." I was amazed that she could keep a secret like that.

"No, she was five. She about to turn sixteen that's why we are here, I'm flying some of her friends down here for a party, and the rest paid their own way." He said.

"What about Portia?"

"She is still in jail, and I now have full and legal custody of her."

"I would invite you in but, Jamie is being a prick."

"How about this, why don't you come and join us for dinner to celebrate Jessica's birthday." I smiled for the first time in years, well not smiled but, I actually felt good about it. Normally I just faked a smile to show Jamie that I wanted us to work.

"It's nice to see your smile again girl" he blushed when he said that. It made me weak in the knees when he said girl that way. I knew I blushed because I could feel my cheeks heat up.

"Let's walk." I said and I stared out farther into the sand, down towards the water. Tommy ran and caught up with me. We walked and soon we fell in sync with each other. Occasionally our hands brushed each other but, they never linked together.

"So why are you and Jamie here?" He finally asked me. That was the question that I was dreading.

"That…is a very long story." I said.

"Well, we are walking on a very long beach, and we have a lot of time." He mentioned. I looked away from him and then I took a deep long breath and started to speak.

"It all started about nine years ago when we got married. About a year after you left. G-Major had been converted into Island Records and Kat was the new PR Rep. Well she and Jamie got close and they kissed but, I don't know what else happened between them. I don't even know how long ago it was. But, we are here giving our marriage one last shot." I said. It hurt my heart to even think about it because I was only used to Tommy hurting me, and it hurt like hell to know that someone else could to.

We had been walking and talking for what felt like forever. We talked about Jessica, and my music. We talked about pretty much everything. I had forgotten how nice it was to just talk. The sun was setting and it was beautiful. I looked into Tommy's eyes, and my heart immediately dropped to the pits of my stomach.

I had forgotten how much that I loved him. I had forgotten everything about him, even though I still think of him all the time. Yes, I chose Jamie over him but, I had my reasons. There was only one and that was because Tommy had already left, and I had missed my chance with him.

I had taken entirely too long with my choice. I should have made one sooner. I missed my chance and I hated it. I regretted it to. I regretted my choice and my decision every second of every day over the last ten years, and if I could do it all over again I would. I just wasn't going to let Jamie or Tommy know that.

"Jude, I know I'm going to be a little forward with you. But, I need to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"How can I put this where you won't get mad at me, Did you ever love me?" He asked.

"HOW COULD YOU EVEN ASK ME THAT? OF COURSE I LOVE YOU!" I yelled back at him.

"Love?" he asked me.

"I meant to say loved." I immediately replied to him.

"No you didn't Harrison. You meant what you said the first time."

"Fine then do you want to hear it again? I STILL LOVE YOU, and if you really want to know I never stopped." I yelled. He looked at me in disbelief.

"Jude-" He started to say my name but, I stopped him.

"Sine we are being honest here Quincy I wanna say this too. I chose you, you were my choice. But, by the time that I had made my decision, you were gone. That's the only reason that I went to Jamie. He was my seconds, I didn't want him. I forced myself to love him after you left." I said.

"You did what?" He asked me not sure of what he heard.

"I wanted you Quincy, only you always." I said letting a single tear fall from my eye.

"Jude let me get this out. I never regretted leaving but, I do regret not waiting. I regret not coming back and if you must know, I regret taking the kiss back at your Sweet Sixteen." He moved his hand and put it on my shoulder.

"Tommy look, you were right then, and you still are."

"About what?"

"It never would have worked between us."

"Jude don't say that. Look you're with Jamie now, and I know you're not that girl but, I still love you. I never moved on and I never will. To be honest, I don't think you ever moved on either." He said. He was right, I never moved on from him.

"You're right Quincy I still love you and I never moved on but, I'm not that girl and I never will be." Tears were streaming down my face now.

Tommy wiped the tears away from my face and started laughing. Then out of nowhere he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I tried to kick him but, he held my legs down. He started running towards the water.

"Tommy don't you dare." I said as I was trying to get free from is grasp. He kept running towards the water and I knew what he was doing.

"Jude, I hope you know how to swim." He said as he threw me in the water. I moved closer to where he was a fast as I could but, the waves made that impossible.

When I got through the waves I got to him and I kicked him and he fell right into the water. When he fell, he fell on me. He wouldn't get off of me at all, and the waves were washing over us. He got up and he wouldn't let me up.

"Alright, that's it Quincy you're going down." I said. I got up out of the water and ran towards him.

I jumped on his back and he stared running. He tried to get me off but, I wouldn't budge. I was freezing and the wind rushing against me didn't help much. I was soaked from head to toe and so was he. When Tommy least expected it, I kicked him in the legs and he fell on his knees into the sand.

"That's it Harrison." He said as he got up. I was lying in the sand on my back and Tommy pounced on me when I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. He started tickling me on my sides and he wouldn't stop.

"Tommy stop it." I said in between laughing.

"Say you're sorry and I'll let you go" He said to me. His hands were tickling me all over. I made me realize that I missed him and it took me back to a time when I felt safe.

"Sorry for what?" I asked him playing ignorant.

"Getting me wet and making me fall in the sand."

"You threw me in the water, you got me wet first Quincy, and I was just getting payback." I batted my eyes at him when I said that.

"That doesn't work anymore girl." He said. I was hoping that it would. It used to, I could bat my eyes at him and he would do anything in the world for me.

"I thought that I'd give it a shot." He was still on top of me "fine, I'm sorry for getting you wet." I finally gave into him only because I wanted him off me.

We both got up and the sun was setting and for only a couple of hours, I had forgotten about my problems with Jamie and I was with Tommy. I got up out of the sand and I pulled Tommy up with me, and I turned towards him and looked into his eyes. He looked back into my eyes and we just stood there on the beach for what felt like forever. Then the rain started to fall. It started pouring and we still stood there. Tommy finally broke our gaze, and he picked me up and threw me on his back and he started running back towards my house.

"You know Harrison, you've gotten a lot heavier." He teased me.

"Oh hush Quincy, you probably just got weaker." I teased back.

"Shut it Harrison." He said. I closed my eyes and I felt the wind on my face, and the raindrops falling. I loved the rain, and I loved the sound of the thunder, and the look of lightening in the sky. We got back to my house, and he let me down.

"What time do I need to meet you for dinner?" I asked him, mainly because I wanted to have time to get ready.

"I don't know, the party starts in an hour and then we were going to eat. So I'm guessing since it's about six now, come around eight, and we will get dinner started." He said backing away into the rain.

"Alright, eight is fine with me." I yelled out to him. He gave me a thumbs up and he turned around and started running into the rain. I saw him running down the beach, and I turned to walk inside.