Written for Encourageshipping (DM Spiritshipping) Week 2016

Anzu sat at her desk, deep in thought. Many things had been weighing on her mind lately, a turmoil of conflicted feelings that she could not sort out satisfactorily, and lately her friends had unintentionally been making it worse. She knew she had to confront them, soon, and had been rehearsing a thousand variations on how to do so for the past few days. She had decided she had to do this now, today. Even if she was still unsure of her own feelings, she needed to act with confidence.

She tensed as the bell rang, knowing that she didn't have much time before she had to say something. Although perhaps neither would ask her today, Anzu thought as she walked out of the classroom, and she wouldn't have to do this today, she could have more time to think about it, she could wait. But at the same time, she knew these were empty words. She would be no more ready to talk to them tomorrow than she was today. And she knew that she would not have the opportunity to put it off anyway, as Atem caught up with her at the school entrance.

"Hey, Anzu? Are you free tonight?"

She had almost come to dread the question.

"Yes, why?" she asked, although she knew the answer. The specifics changed, but there was only one reason Atem came out to ask her that.

"There's this musical that I thought you and partner might want to see, so I…" Atem began, starting to pull out small slips of paper that Anzu suspected were tickets to the aforementioned musical.

"This needs to stop."

"What?" Atem froze, confused by Anzu's abrupt statement. Anzu took a deep breath and steeled herself for finally saying what she'd been rehearsing and refining for the past few days.

"This. Whatever this is. For a while now, you've been setting me up on dates with Yuugi, and he's been setting me up on dates with you. I feel like the two of you are toying with me, like I'm just another one of your games," Anzu said, hoping she hadn't been too harsh, but relieved that she'd been able to finally get out what she needed to say. In a way, she was glad that it was Atem who had asked today – she wasn't sure if she would've been able to say any of that to Yuugi.

"No! I…of course not, Anzu! I'm not…we would never…!" Atem said, shocked.

"Then I think we need to talk. All three of us." Anzu said a little shakily. She had spent a lot of time rehearsing the initial statement in her head, but hadn't given nearly as much thought on what she was going to say afterwards. Atem nodded, although he still looked perplexed, and glanced around at the groups of students streaming out of the school around them.

"Somewhere private, then? So we don't receive…odd looks?" he said quietly.

Anzu agreed. Trying to have a conversation with two people who shared a body was certainly something that was best done away from questioning eyes. She and Atem left the schoolyard together, both remaining silent as they walked, Atem letting Anzu lead the way. Several times, he looked as if he wanted to speak, but he said nothing, at least not to Anzu. She supposed he could be talking to Yuugi, after all. Eventually they came to a secluded area of town and stopped.

"Anzu…we never meant to upset you. It's not that we're playing a game or a prank, we're…" Atem trailed off, and shifted uncomfortably. "Well, maybe partner can explain it better." In an instant, his features changed subtly and Anzu knew that he had given control to Yuugi.

"I thought that you would want to spend more time with him, Anzu. Since I…I know how you feel about him and you know that…that there isn't that much time left before…So I wanted to help with that, I wanted to give you every opportunity to be with him!"

"I do want to spend time with him…but it feels like neither of you want to spend time with me, and that you're competing to see which of you can make the other spend the most time on dates with me. And that's...hurtful, Yuugi."

"I do like hanging out with you, Anzu! But…he doesn't have as much time as I do. I've been pushing him to hang out with Jounouchi and Honda more as well," Yuugi protested.

"You aren't asking them to go to dinner, or the movies, or whatever, in advance. You just switch with him while you're all already hanging out. It's not the same thing with me. But even so, I'd believe that's all this was if Atem wasn't trying to get me to hang out with you just as much. What is his reason, then?" Anzu said. Yuugi opened his mouth to speak, but Anzu cut him off. "I want to hear it from him."

"I want to see you and Yuugi be happy," Atem said after a long silence. "It is better for you to get used to my…absence…gradually. That's why I…"

"Pull away?"

"Yes."

"I don't know if I believe that."

Atem said nothing, and stared down at the ground.

"Please…I'm just asking you to be honest with me. Just tell me why you're doing this – even if it's because you think poorly of me, and don't want to be around me…" Anzu pleaded.

"That's not it! I've already told you, I want to see you and Yuugi be happy together."

"Together?" Anzu repeated, surprised. "As in…a couple? Wh…why?" The thought of her and Yuugi together brought a confusing mixture of emotions that she didn't want to deal with right now. She thought that she'd already figured out which of the two her affections were for…but it was all so much more complicated than that, wasn't it? She always had known that, but had always wanted it to be simple, for there to be an obvious choice – it was so much easier to pretend that there was. On top of that, if Atem wanted her to be with Yuugi so much, then that meant that Atem must not return her feelings, anyway. Her chest tightened at that realization. And Yuugi…he couldn't feel that way for her, either. Not if he was trying to get her with Atem.

"Because you'd be perfect for each…!" He suddenly cut off, and then spoke in a more subdued tone, "Sorry, partner…I got carried away…"

"So, then…how do you feel about me, since you want me to be with him?" Anzu asked, trying to keep her voice and hands steady.

"I…you're a great friend, Anzu, and I want you to be happy and to achieve your dreams," Atem said quickly, not meeting her eyes.

"You know what I'm asking." Anzu crossed her arms, trying to show confidence that she didn't feel. Atem turned away from her.

"It doesn't matter." Surprised and hurt, Anzu opened her mouth to try to express that it did, in fact, matter to her very much, but Atem continued softly, "I died a very long time ago, Anzu. I'm just a ghost, lingering tenuously in this world, only able to interact with it because of a magic artifact and the kindness of my partner – what could I ever hope to offer as a lover?" Anzu was surprised as Atem's voice became heavy with emotion. "I can't give myself fully to anyone when I only live through moments stolen from another – yes, partner, every moment I control your body is a moment I have taken from you, you can't argue this – I can't promise to always be there, I can't grow old by their side, I can't be anything of what you – what anyone – deserves from a lover. That's why it doesn't matter. I can't allow myself to have those feelings, for you or…!" Atem cut himself off. He took a deep breath and turned back towards Anzu. He looked very much as if he hadn't meant to say as much as he had in his outburst, and had begun to regret it.

"I wish I could give you the world, Anzu," he admitted, "I wish I could give you everything you deserve, but I can't."

Anzu's chest didn't feel so tight anymore. She felt a little relieved – he had feelings for her, then. Even if he insisted that nothing could come of it, it was at least something. Though she still wanted to protest that, to tell him that it didn't matter if it wasn't forever, it didn't matter if he couldn't be everything – but she had a more pressing issue to address.

"And…is that why you want me to be with Yuugi? Because you think he can be what you say you can't?"

"Well, yes. And because you love each other, of course."

"What?! You're really jumping to conclusions!"

A look of confusion passed over Atem's face. "Aren't you in love with Yuugi?" he asked, as though the idea that she might not be had never been even entertained as a possibility.

"I…I don't know. I mean, at the beginning, I thought you two were the same. And then when I realized you weren't, I…my feelings were for you…but…" Anzu trailed off, uncertain. She thought this conversation would help her sort out her feelings, but now it was only more confusing than ever.

Atem, too, looked as though this was becoming even more confusing for him. "I knew that you had an interest in me…but you've known Yuugi since you were children, and I've only been a part of your life for a short time. Of course your feelings for him must be much stronger…"

"That's not the way love works, Atem!" Anzu nearly shouted. "And besides, even if we haven't known each other as long, you're no less of a friend – to me or the others – than Yuugi is!"

"But…" Atem still looked incredibly confused. His voice became softer than Anzu had ever heard it before. "How can you not be in love with Yuugi? He is so kind, so gentle, so selfless, so brave, so talented, so loyal…" He paused, as if struggling to find the words. "How can you help but fall in love with him?"

The way Atem spoke about Yuugi was so admiring, almost adoring, that it caused a twinge of jealousy in Anzu. The feeling was familiar to her, she realized – she had gotten jealous before when girls had crowded around Yuugi, suddenly interested in him now that he had a bit of fame. She recalled how angry it had made her, and thought that Atem might have a point.

"Maybe…maybe you're right…I…" Anzu said hesitantly. She looked towards him, but Atem was no longer in control.

"Anzu…I'm really sorry! I'm sure other me didn't mean to pressure you like that, but it's okay, really! You don't need to say anything to make him or me feel better, it's fine, I don't…!" Yuugi said, his face flushed with embarrassment.

"No…no, he's right, Yuugi. I…do love you." Yuugi's eyes widened in shock at Anzu's words.

"But...I thought you love other me?"

"I do. I also love you. It's confusing for me too…" Anzu said. She said nothing as she watched Yuugi process what she had said. His face changed from shock and disbelief to amazement and confusion, and finally to some sort of apologetic understanding.

"I'm sorry, Anzu. I'm sorry that I didn't understand your feelings! And I'm sorry that I'm making this confusing for you. I don't want you to feel like you have to choose between us. So I'll…I'll stay out of the way, so you won't feel that you have to…" Yuugi said earnestly.

"No! You don't have to do that – I don't want you to do that, Yuugi. It's sweet of you to want to put me and Atem first, but I don't want to push you to the side. You're worth more than that. And…" Anzu spoke quietly, half to herself, "I don't think I have to make that choice. I'm not going to, anyway. You're both here, aren't you? And no one besides our friends would know the difference…"

"Eh…? What do you mean, Anzu?"

"I mean…as long as the two of you don't mind, I don't have to choose between you. You're always together, so even if I'm with one of you, it's not as though the other has anywhere else to go. So we can all be together, for now, at least." Anzu said, confidence gradually increasing. Yuugi's face cleared in sudden understanding.

"Yeah! Yeah, that's a great idea, Anzu! And we'd still only need to pay for two."

"Right!" Anzu said, and gave him a wink. "So, we can all go to that musical Atem mentioned, right?"

Yuugi beamed. And though Anzu couldn't see him, she was certain Atem was pleased with the solution, as well. At least for now, there was no reason why she couldn't have both boys. Later was a different matter – they all knew that Atem's time with them was growing short.

But Anzu didn't have to think about that right now.

This takes place between the events of the memory world and the group traveling to Egypt in the manga. Since this is based in manga canon, I didn't bring up Anzu getting jealous over Rebecca and Vivian's interest in Yuugi, instead she just gets jealous about some non-specific girls.

Also I may like ellipses too much.