It is encouraged behavior for highblooded trolls to kill. To end the lives of lowerblooded trolls without remorse. So why do I feel this way?
We've been stuck here, waiting. Watching. Trying to stay safe. Its been okay, for the most part.
So why did I have to succumb.
I killed them. My FRIENDS. How could I have done that?! I wish I had more fucking slime. I wish I could forget this SHIT.
Why'd I have to up and listen to the motherfuckin call? Am I just so burnt out from the motherfuckin sopor that I forgot how to block that shit?
Oh Messiahs, Nepeta. And Equius. And…..and Karbro. MY BEST MOTHERFUCKING FRIEND. All these fucking colors staining the walls, staining my motherfuckin hands. Please, I just want everything to be okay again. I want my friends back! I want… I want Karkat back. I want everything to be gray again. No more green or blue or brown or fuchsia or purple. Or…or red. JUST MAKE IT FUCKING STOP.
I can't handle this. I can't handle ANYTHING. Then again, I never could.
I almost WANT Kanaya to find me. Cut me into little bits of fucked up clown, throw me off the damn meteor. Its what I deserve. Maybe then I can pay back what I've taken. Maybe then it'll be okay. Maybe then, I can find him out there somewhere, make it right.
Im so, so, so sorry Karkat.