Disclaimer: I do not own That 70s show, though I do own all the seasons. If I did own it, I'd have made Hyde not fall in love with Jackie 'cause...well, frankly I think she's as dumb as dirt and self-centered. I'm ranting now, so please don't let my pregidous ways make you not wanna read this!

Episode 1 The Pilot

"C'mon, Eric. Stop goofing around and go get us some damn beer." I growled as I sat on the table in the middle of the basement. At the moment, Donna, Hyde, Kelso, and I were trying to get Eric (my twin) to go steal some of his dad's beer, but he's being a chicken.

"Eric, it is time!" Hyde agreed.

"Why don't you do it?" Eric questioned, looking at both me and Hyde.

"It's your house." Hyde replied simply.

"House." Kelso repeated and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not doing it because Dad still trusts me and I'm his little girl, while Laurie is his older little girl. Eric, listen to them up there. The party has by far reached critical mass." I stated.

"In ten minutes, there will be no more beer opportunities!" Hyde tried to reason.

"If my dad catches me copping beers, he'll kill me!" My skinny brother told us with a pleading look.

I placed my hand on his shoulder with a serious face. "I'm willing to take that risk, dude."

"Don't worry about it. Just remain calm; keep moving—" Kelso tried to calm him down.

Donna interrupted him. "And above all, don't get sucked into my dad's hair."

"What's wrong with your dad's hair?" Eric asked Donna as I got up and went to get a Popsicle.

"Just don't look at it."

My curly haired friend took Eric's face into his hands. "And Eric…cold."

"Definitely cold." I added as I grabbed an orange Popsicle. Eric nodded in understanding before he ran up the stairs. I sat down beside Hyde and grabbed my sketchbook. I laid it out on my lap and grabbed a pencil. I ate my pop with my left hand and drew with my right.

"What'cha drawing?" Hyde asked as he peered over my shoulder. Kelso did the same thing for my other shoulder since I was sitting between them. I didn't answer, but moved my arm so they could both see it clearly. It was a picture of a zombie band. The drummer was playing with the bones that should lead to his hands, since he didn't have hands. The lead singer was falling apart as he screamed into the microphone. Both of the guitarists were twins and covered in blood, while the bassist's eye was dangling from its socket.

I looked at both of the guys to see their reaction. Hyde was grinning and Kelso looked horrified. It was kinda comical. Kelso's eyes were wide in terror and his mouth was dangling open. I took a bite from the pop in my hand and closed his mouth.

"You're more demented than I thought you were." Hyde mused and I rolled my eyes. "You're coming along nicely!"

"Oh, please, if you think that's gory, you should see her other work." Donna stated as she sat in the lawn chair. I glared playfully and moved away from in between Hyde and Kelso to sit in the chair that Hyde usually sits in. I'm honestly surprised he isn't sitting there now. Hyde rolled his eyes at the fact that I moved and grabbed a nudie magazine. I just went back to drawing. I continued to draw until I was ready to color the drawing.

I closed my sketchbook, set it back on the table in front of me and stood. I went to the trash can and dropped my Popsicle stick in it.

"Check it out." Hyde murmured to Kelso, looking at a photo in the magazine. Kelso looked over and his eyes widened.

Donna and I popped up from behind them with identical looks on our faces. "We see that every day." We told them and Hyde shielded the magazine from our eyes. I scoffed as I stood and walked around to sit between Hyde and Kelso again.

Eric suddenly came half way down the stairs, holding up five cans of beer successfully.

"He's alive!" Hyde and I dramatized as Eric came down the stairs and set the cans on the table.

"Good news; my dad is thinking of giving me…the Vista Cruiser!" Eric told us excitedly.

"You're getting a car?" Kelso asked, just as enthusiastic while he did something by the shower.

"I'd honestly rather have an El Camino or an Impala." I mumbled under my breath and Hyde nodded in agreement.

"Have I told you how incredibly attractive you are, Eric?" Donna asked slyly while we all grabbed a beer.

"No." Eric smirked and leaned back in his chair.

"You told me and Em he was cute." Kelso announced and I turned to glare at him.

"No, I didn't!" Donna said as she sunk into her seat.

"I remember it 'cause you said not to say anything in front of Eric." He argued and before he could do anymore damage, I dug my black and white high-top Converse clad heel into his foot. He did that weird yelp thing he does and I rolled my eyes.

"Let's focus on what's important here, people." Hyde said as we all cracked our beers open.

"Yeah, my brother stole something! To Forman!" I proposed as I raised my beer into the air, the other four following suit.

"To Forman!" We all cheered and took swigs of the sinful drink.

"You know what's sad?" Eric asked and started to tear up and answer his own question with a shaky high pitched voice. "This is the proudest day of my life!" He then broke down and Hyde hugged him. Weird, but not unexpected.

The next day, Eric, Donna, Kelso, Jackie, and I were all hanging out in the basement, watching TV. I was wearing a black Led Zeppelin tee-shirt and a pair of baggy blue jeans. I also wore my ever present Converse. We were watching it without the sound because Donna and Eric wanted to see if they could watch it and get the words correct.

"Wow, Marcia, a football in the face; that's gotta hurt!" Eric said in a chipper voice.

"Ouch, my nose!" Donna used a dumb blonde with issues voice.

"That's gonna be huge in the morning!"

"Huger than my boobs?"

"Well, bigger than the left one!" I cracked up at this part as I sat in Hyde's chair. Hey, he's not here so I get his chair.

"Why are we watching this without the sound?" Jackie asked annoyingly after I finished laughing. "I am totally confused."

"When are you not, cheerleader?" I spat back with a glare and she shot unthreatening daggers at me.

"You probably never think, anarchist!"

"Oh, and that's why I'm an honor roll student?" I asked with a too sweet smile and the voice to match. She rolled her eyes and looked away.

"Here, use the earphone." Eric said and he handed over a white earphone, which was connected to the TV.

"So, what's the deal with the Vista Cruiser?" Kelso asked anxiously.

"The deal is there is no deal yet." Eric answered.

"Shh!" Jackie said angrily and we all looked at her. She rolled her eyes and watched the TV screen. I made a face and stuck my tongue out at her.

"How are we gonna get to the concert?" Kelso asked in a not so quiet tone.

"Dude, shut up!" I snapped angrily, but the damage was already dealt.

"What concert?" The cheerleader asked in a sweet, yet threatening tone.

Kelso sighed and answered slowly. "Todd Rundgren."

"When?"

"This weekend."

"Oh, who's going?"

"Uh, Eric and Donna and Em and Hyde and me and the foreign kid Fez… pretty much everybody..." He stopped and Jackie motioned for him to continue. "…and you!"

"Oh, good, good, good, good! Thank you for telling me, Michael!" She said sarcastically and I slowly stood, heading for the stairs.

"I'm gonna go look for Hyde." I said as I walked up the stairs.

"Okay, well, I'm gonna get sodas!" I heard Eric say before I reached the top of the stairs and I walked out to the kitchen. I grabbed my old black jacket from the table and left to start my search for my curly haired crush. Yes, I said crush. I've liked Hyde since I met him, when we were 8. Bad part about that is that he likes Donna, though. She probably doesn't even notice this and it makes me sad that he'd rather be with someone that is too hung up on my skinny brother than with someone he's known longer and actually likes him back. Then again, he doesn't know that I like him, too, so… I'm screwed over I guess.

"Ever since yesterday, I can't stop thinking about you. I mean, I've known you practically my whole life. I want you… I want you so bad!" Eric said and Donna and I looked over his shoulders at the Vista Cruiser.

"Eric…it's a car." Donna informed him and Kelso looked over my shoulder at the Cruiser.

"Let's just leave these two kids alone." Kelso suggested and I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah." Donna agreed and we moved to walk away but Bob walked up. Mine and Kelso's eyes widened at his hair.

"Hey! Hey, there, Donna!" He greeted his daughter.

"Hey, Dad." Donna replied as Eric, Kelso and I stared at his perm.

"Ah, you kids…standing around the driveway. It's just so darn cute!" He pinched Donna's cheek and she smiled, looking away. "You know, you may not realize it, but this is the most fun you're ever gonna have."

"So, it's all downhill from here, sir?" Eric questioned.

"Yeah." He nodded before he walked away.

"What happened to your dad's hair?" Kelso asked.

"He got a perm in it." Donna answered, smiling.

"So, that's permanent?" He asked, alarmed.

"I may not say this right because I am new to English, but…she has tremendous breasts, yes?" Fez stated as he nodded towards a chick that was hanging from the pinball machine. Hyde looked up and smiled in appreciation and I just patted Fez on the back with an easy grin as I drank my soda. Hyde, Kelso and I were teaching Fez to be more perverted.

"Michael, who is this guy?" Jackie asked and I cringed at her voice alone.

"Oh, that's Fez. He's the foreign exchange student." Kelso answered.

"Who'd we exchange for him?"

I just blinked in exasperation and looked at Hyde. "Is it too late to send her to wherever Fez is from?"

"God, I hope not…" He murmured and I smirked.

Jackie stood abruptly. "Donna, I have to go to the ladies room." She said expectantly and I stared at her incredulously. She seriously has to do that? I guess she gave up on asking me because I yelled at her every time she did ask. She was currently looking at Donna expectantly. "Donna!" She whined and Donna rolled her eyes before she stood and followed Jackie into the bathroom.

"I too must go to the bathroom." Fez stated as he stood. "Eric?"

Eric quickly turned with wide eyes. "Oh, it doesn't work that way with guys, Fez."

"Oh…" Fez mumbled before he walked off to the bathroom.

"Kelso, how much longer are we gonna have to deal with the whole Jackie experience?" Hyde asked with a sly smirk in my direction. I glared back because he knew I wanted nothing more than to throw Jackie Burkhart into a hole and watch her die.

"I swear that if you don't break up with her soon, you're gonna wake up with a sheep nibbling on your balls and Jackie's hair is getting cut off and donated to a wig…maker…person." I stumbled over the last few words, but got my point across. I knew this because Kelso immediately covered his crotch and I cocked a smirk.

"Don't worry… I'm breaking up with her." He stated and Hyde and I glanced at each other before looking at him again.

"Never gonna happen." We both told him and he frowned.

"It's over! She's cutting into my free time."

"Pfft, what free time? Between the cheerleader, your friends, and school, you've got no free time whatsoever!"

"Dude, has Dad told you if you could have the Cruiser or what?" I asked giggling as I sat in the circle with Kelso, Hyde, Eric, and Fez. I was sitting between Kelso and Hyde on the side of the couch.

"Even if we do get it, we're gonna need some serious gas money 'cause the Cruiser's a boat…" Kelso informed us almost seriously.

"I know it's a boat." Eric said calmly with a small smile. "Man, this whole gas shortage bites!"

"Who's getting a boat?" Fez asked as he snacked on some cheese curls across from me.

"There is no gas shortage, man!" Hyde exclaimed, going into his anarchist mode. "It's all fake! The oil companies control everything!"

"Which reminds me, has anybody heard of this guy who invented this car that runs on water? It's got a fiber glass air cooled engine and it runs on water!" I told them with a grin and a nod.

"So it is a boat." Fez stated and I continued to smile.

"No, it's a car. Only you put water in the gas tank instead of gas. And it runs on water, man!" Hyde grinned, which I returned.

"I never heard of this car…" Kelso mused and I smiled, amused.

"True story, dude."

"Hey, Jackie's good for gas money!"

"You are such a whore." Eric grinned.

"When does the boat get here, whore?" Fez asked and we all cracked up laughing.

"Eric!" We all heard from upstairs and stopped laughing immediately; it's Dad.

"Yeah, Dad?" Eric called attentively.

"I need to talk to you!"

Eric quickly stood and ran up the stairs. I rolled my eyes and stood.

"Well, I'll catch you guys later. I was gonna go over to Donna's and help her and her mom cook dinner tonight. Wonder if they'll notice I'm high as a kite…" I mused as I pulled on my black jacket at the door.

"Bye, Em!" They all waved with silly grins.

"See ya'." I replied easily as I walked out the door and went over to my neighbor's house.

The next night, I was dressed in my concert attire. I was wearing a pair of baggy dark blue jeans with holes in the knees and a short sleeve, tight black shirt with a rainbow peace sign on it. My Converse were on my feet and my short hair was straightened and pulled into two ponytails that rested just above my shoulders. My bangs were framing my face, as usual, and covering my forehead.

"Kelso, that's sweet!" Donna cooed sarcastically when he opened the passenger side door and we made to get in the front.

"Actually, I'm riding shotgun." He retorted and we both scowled.

"No, you're not!" Donna and I said in unison.

"Well, I'm not riding in the back."

"Why don't we let my brother decide?" I asked and we all ducked down to look at Eric, who had just climbed into his seat.

"Eric?" Kelso asked, most likely hoping he'd get shotgun.

"Kelso." Eric paused and I blinked in astonishment as Kelso was about to get into the front seat. "Get in the back!" Eric continued and I smirked. Kelso groaned and moved around Donna and I to get into the back seat. Donna slid in first and I followed, closing the door behind me.

"Taking her for a spin, eh?" Dad asked as he walked over to the driver's side window.

"Yes, sir." Eric responded easily.

"Well, have a good time." He was about to leave, but paused at the last second. "Oh, one more thing, very important, about the car. She's old…so, no trips out of town, ever. Understood? Well, have fun!" He grinned and walked back into the house.

"Well, I guess that's that. We're not going." Eric stated and I scowled, elbowing Donna in the ribs and telling her with my eyes to convince him to go against Red's orders for once in his life.

"Eric, do you wanna go?" She asked after glaring at me.

"He said no trips out of town."

"It's your car. Do you wanna go?"

"But he's God!" Eric protested and I scoffed, propping my elbow up on the open window to my right and lying my cheek in my palm.

"I think God would want us to go to Milwaukee." Kelso said stupidly and I resisted the urge to slap him.

"Eric, you are a seventeen year old man… gonna go with whatever you say. It's your decision." Donna said seriously.

"It is my decision…" Eric paused and I looked over at him, biting my lip in apprehension. "And my decision is…we're going to a concert." He started the car and Donna and I shared an identical grin.

"Yeah!" Kelso cheered in the back seat.

About half way to the concert, the Cruiser crapped out on us.

"I'm telling you; we're out of gas!" Kelso exclaimed as we all stood outside the Cruiser outside a garage we managed to push the car to, which thankfully wasn't all that far away from where the car stopped.

"We're not out of gas." Eric stated, sounding bored with the topic. I was bored with it, too, because Kelso has said we were out of gas at least ten times in the last five minutes. In fact, when the car first stopped, his exact words were, 'are we outta gas?'

"It's the battery." Randy, our mechanic, told us after checking under the hood. "It's six years old and shot to hell."

"I know what…" Jackie said slowly and got out of the Cruiser, slamming the door behind her. "I'll just call me dad."

"Kelso, tell her." Eric ordered.

"He can't take the car out of town." Kelso did as he was told.

"I'm not calling his dad." Jackie said as if it were obvious.

"Jackie…parents talk…to each other…about how we…screw up!" Hyde said slowly, saying the last two words in a perfect Jackie mocking voice.

"Why would they talk about that?" Jackie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because they're bored out of their minds." I mumbled in reply, chewing on the straw in my glass Dr. Pepper bottle.

"They can't help it." Eric elaborated for me and I smirked in agreement as he continued. "Look, say there's a party see. And all of our parents are there…together." I then imagined the fantasy party. It was pretty funny and most of us ended up doing the Hustle.

"Okay, guys, we are in the middle of nowhere…." Jackie said slowly, stopping our dancing. I sighed in annoyance and leaned against the Cruiser, sipping on my soda. "And I have to go to the ladies room." She paused and turned to leave but then looked back when Donna didn't follow. "Donna!" Donna rolled her eyes in exasperation and stomped her foot before she followed after the midget.

"So, where you going?" Randy asked us.

"Rundgren concert." Hyde answered simply.

"Cool. So, what, you want a battery? 'Cause I can get you a battery." He proposed.

"Are they cheap…or possibly free?" Eric asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Thirty-two bucks, minimum."

"Alright, I'll tell you what. We'll trade you our battery plus five bucks for one of your batteries." Kelso bargained and I blinked, slapping him in the back of the head. He was so used to it; he just rubbed his head and ignored me, looking at Randy eagerly.

"Well, that's a really sweet deal, my friend, but how about this… how about one battery for two concert tickets?" Randy asked, holding up two fingers to show his point.

"No, we can't give up two tickets." Kelso whined.

Randy looked at each of us before he nodded. "Okay." And he walked off.

"Hey, it's either that or none of us go." Eric argued with Kelso.

"So, who's out?"

"Well, there's always Jackie." Hyde stated, smirking.

"That little bitch wasn't even supposed to come." I added.

"Of course, Jackie. I mean, Jackie's gone! But who else?" Kelso asked stupidly and Hyde, Eric, and I all stood in front of him.

"Well, I don't know…Jackie's date?" Eric said questioningly and sarcastically.

"Come on! You know I'm breaking up with her! You guys are chopping me out!" He whined.

"Hey, I've had to deal with Jackie's shit for a good hour." I snapped back angrily, about ready to throw my glass soda bottle at his head.

"A really long hour!" Fez stated, exasperated of the little bitch. I should really stop insulting her height, considering I'm as tall as she is.

"God hates me…" Kelso moaned and held the two tickets up.

"Pleasure doing business with you, man." I smirked, snatching the tickets from him. "C'mon, guys." I said and Eric and Hyde followed after me as I went to find Randy.

At the concert, we were all jamming out to the music. We were standing in a line in the stands. It went like this: Fez, Eric, Donna, me and Hyde.

"Hey, guys, Randy's date is a man!" Fez suddenly said and I looked around him to see it was true.

"I'm okay with it!" Donna and I both said; me with a smirk.

"You're so cool to be okay with it!" Eric commented over the music, most likely talking to Donna and Hyde chuckled, elbowing me in the side.

"Yeah?" I asked, smiling lightly.

"Can I talk to you before the concert starts?" He asked, biting his lip and pointing over his shoulder with his thumb.

I nodded, furrowing my brows in confusion. I followed after him as we headed towards the food court, which was empty since the concert starts in about three minutes. "So, what's up?"

"Well, you know how Donna likes Forman?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and I nodded.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well, she's gonna see if he's gonna make a move after the concert tonight. I'm gonna be waiting in her backyard to see what happens. She said that if they don't get together, then she'd go out with me." He admitted and I swear that my heart broke in two. I had never told Donna that I liked Hyde, so she wouldn't know. And, of course, Hyde doesn't know either since I'm really good at keeping my feelings bottled inside.

"Why are you telling me this then?" I asked, faking indifference.

"Well, I don't know actually. Just thought that, since you're her best friend and all, you'd want to be the first to know." He shrugged and I blinked.

"Well, way to go. You'll be second choice." I congratulated sarcastically before I walked past him and back into the stands and went up to where I was supposed to be, with the others.

Author's Note: So, what'cha think? Should I continue it or should I drop it and never bring the subject up again? I think Emily Rose Foreman could be a great character if you give her a chance. Please review and tell me if she's too Mary-Sue-ish for you guys. I've been told by a few people in my family that some of the characters I create are like that, but I want your opinions on it.