A/N: I wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to my soul mate sister Chris, who took her time with me and tried to get me to watch Downton Abbey for close to 18 months. I am not sure why I resisted but once I took a look I was hooked. I also fell in love with Anna and Bates, as she knew I would, and decided that maybe it was time to write again. Chris, thank you for you patience. You are the best. And thank you for the title.
"Well surely you can give me a hint?"
Anna sits with Mr. Bates in the back row, awaiting the start of the benefit concert. After he had approached her earlier, inquiring as to when he could speak with her, she had been extremely anxious. She could tell by his playful disposition that nothing was wrong but it was still uncharacteristic for him to seek her out as he had and she was besides herself with curiosity.
When they had first sat down together, she had been able to reign in some of her eagerness. He seemed to be in a talkative mood and it had been enough to just sit back and enjoy some time with him.
"I hope this concert does well. It is nice to be able contribute to the war effort." His tone was even, but she can see a sadness in his eyes and knows that he is feeling inadequate in the eyes of King and country. She wants to reassure him but decides to let it go for now. She has something else she wants to ask him.
"How did it go in London?"
He hesitates, and Anna can see that he is struggling with his answer.
"We don't have to talk about it now. I am sorry."
He glances at her and smiles. "No, Anna. It was fine. I am fine. The service went well and I spoke to many of my Mother's friends. They were a great comfort to me." He seems like he wants to say more but then stops, giving her another soft smile.
She knows he is merely trying to put her mind at ease. Now it is her turn to grapple with her words. "I am so thankful for that. I was so very concerned about you."
A shy smile lights up his face and his eyes show her his appreciation.
Anna looks around them before lowering her voice and continuing, "I wanted to be there for you. I am so sorry I wasn't."
His heart leaps in his chest at her words. If only she knew how much he had wanted her there too. He needs her to know that.
And she would. Very soon.
For now, he simply says, "You are always there for me."
Her breath hitches but she says nothing else.
They are both silent for a few moments, watching the people move into the room and take their seats. The soft music plays in the background. He shifts in his seat.
His restlessness is a clear signal to her that he no longer wishes to discuss his trip, prompting Anna to talk about the next thing that pops into her head.
"We have a new maid. Ethel."
His shoulders relax and she can tell that he is grateful for the change in subject.
"Ah. And she is no Gwen." It is not a question.
She looks at him in surprise and says, "What? I never said that."
"You didn't have to." His eyes are bright and she knows he is amused.
"Mr. Bates, I am a very accepting and open minded person."
"Yes you are. I of all people know this to be true." He ducks his head and stifles a grin, a sure sign that he is obviously enjoying himself.
"Then I am not sure how you came to that conclusion about Ethel."
He chuckles and she feels her face flush.
"Mr. Bates..."
"I am sorry Anna. But it is the way you say her name. As if it were a profane word." He chuckles again.
"I do not!"
"Yes, you most certainly do. You did it again just now."
She was clearly flustered and he watches as her eyes blink erratically in embarrassment.
"It is fine Anna. We don't have to talk about Ethel." He says her name just as Anna had and she knows, when she hears it leave his mouth in that way, that he had been right. She had not said it nicely.
He was finding it hard not to laugh out loud and the mood becomes contagious. She giggles as well and it feels good to share a light moment with him.
When they stop laughing their eyes meet and they both sober at once. Anna loses herself in his eyes. She feels her face burn and looks down at her hands. Her earlier thoughts concerning his need to speak with her return. She glances back up and finds that he is still staring at her. The look he wears melts her heart.
She wills herself to focus and decides to acquire an answer for what she truly wants to know. Her patience has run out. His eyes abruptly drop from hers and Anna realizes with a start that he knows what she is up to. A chill rushes down her spine. The connection they share never ceases to amaze her.
Most of the seats are now occupied and the last few people are locating their seats.
He looks at her in mock disapproval when she asks for a hint.
"Not even a small clue?"
"I'm sorry Anna, but this is just not an appropriate place to discuss it." His words are firm but the sparkle in his eyes tells a different story.
"Well, it really wasn't fair for you to suggest we needed to talk and then withhold it from me." Again, the words do not match the mood. She is taunting him.
"Miss Smith, if you weren't such a lovely yet highly industrious lady," he puts great emphasis on the word lady, "I wouldn't have to call upon you for a time to talk in the first place."
"Not all of us have time on their hands like that of a valet," she teases.
He shoots her a look but says nothing. However, the corners of his lips twitch.
"Alright then Mr. Bates, whatever does it have to do with?"
"Anna..."
She lowers her voice considerably and her eyes flash with mischief. "Does it have to do with how much you missed me?"
He eyes her with a mixture of excitement and wariness. He knows how she can be when she feels impish. "It could have."
Her eyes darken and he feels himself brace for impact. "Does it have anything to do with how much you need me?"
The minx. "Quite possibly."
She leans towards him slightly, not enough to attract attention, but enough where he can breathe in her scent. The heat from her body surrounds him and he forces himself not to shiver. He holds her gaze. Her eyes flash again and he can feel his throat constrict.
"Does it pertain to how much you desire me?"
He almost falls out of his chair. Her boldness thrills him. He has to hold on to his cane with both hands just to keep his balance.
Several violins save him from having to respond as the concert begins. There is a nervous energy about them now, an exquisite tension built up between them. His eyes pursue hers again and as he looks deep within their blue depths, he thinks of what he intends to share with her later that evening. It soothes him and he is empowered to take a step he never would have before tonight.
He subtly moves his chair over until it touches hers and drops his right hand to where they meet. It only takes a second for her hand to find its way to his. They brush together lightly and when she attempts to pull away he tucks his pinky around hers, squeezing gently.
As the music continues to swell, Mr. Bates finally whispers the answer to Anna's question.
"Most definitely."