Hey guys well this is my very first TWILIGHT fanfic

Hey guys well this is my very first TWILIGHT fanfic! And I hope you guys like it.

Enjoy!!

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own the Characters or the book. I just own this computer.

Summary: What if Bella didn't jump in New Moon? Well in my story she didn't jump. Instead she's trying to move on and be happy even when it seems impossible. She moved to Phoenix for the summer and also to clear her head after she graduated. Now it's almost her birthday and she's going home to see her dad, and for a bit of therapy. She is going to confront the place that made her leave. But someone from her past comes back and she isn't sure if she wants him back.

On to the story!!

Chapter: 1

It will be as if I'd never existed

It will be as if I'd never existed

I could feel my body fighting back on the hurt and tears every time those words crossed my mind…but what hurt the most was that it wasn't his voice that I would hear anymore. I had somehow forgotten that angelic velvet voice that had captured my heart that first time I heard it.

The last time I heard it, I was on a cliff ready to give up my life or what was left of it anyway, which wasn't much. He wasn't very happy about it. But it didn't matter what he would say to me. I just wanted the pain and emptiness to go away. Because then maybe...just maybe I could see him again. Even for a glimpse, it wouldn't matter. I didn't want to see him…I needed to see him. I could feel the wind brushing across my face that once had color. It was drying the tears that rolled down my cheek. I waited for the moment to hear his perfect voice. And once I finally heard it, surprisingly it didn't hurt. At that moment I realized that I could be happy.

Now here I was almost a year later, after he had left me. The wound he left me with was becoming a scar, slowly healing. But I couldn't have done it by myself. My best friend/werewolf helped me. Even though he knew I could never want him the way he wanted me, somehow he still managed to convince himself, Charlie, and the rest of Forks that we were an item. Maybe it was my fault for not denying that allegations but I didn't confirm them either.

Even though I was human, I felt immortal. I was living life-in-death. He had somehow taken my heart with him that day he left me in the woods. I never let myself think of him or anything that would remind me of him. Nor do I let myself cry, as if I had any tears left in me. I couldn't even say his name, afraid of the pain that would bring me.

As I was lying in my bed staring blankly at the white ceiling, I allow myself to think about what has happened.

Victoria came back along with Laurent for me. But thankfully Jake and his pack killed them both before they could have touched me. I moved to Phoenix for the summer and I haven't been to Forks in almost 2 months but it seemed like forever. Jacob and I did try to be a couple but it was impossible for me to give me heart away when it already had an owner. I also found myself unable to dream, since the day that I nearly jumped

Coming back to reality I stood up and looked down on my bed.

"Ok what else do I need?" I mumbled to myself looking at the suitcase that was already full. I put on my black coat and matching gloves. Knowing what kind of weather awaited me in Forks.

I froze in the doorway. I turned to get my last glance on the apartment that in the last 2 months I called home. I turned back to the door and laid my forehead against it taking a deep breath "Bella you can do this" I whispered trying to convince myself. I could feel a knot forming in my stomach as I turned the knob and stepped out. I closed the door behind me without looking back and walked down the hall.

On the way to the airport, thoughts formed in my head about what was to come when I would arrive at the home that I wished I didn't miss so much. I wasn't going because I wanted to. I was going because I actually missed everyone there some more than others and I was ready to confront the place that put me though impossible things…things that would that would have killed a normal person, not that I wasn't normal just that the people I was with at the time weren't normal. Besides I missed everyone and I promised my dad that I would be back on my birthday to stay if it didn't work out in Phoenix. I was ready to move on and be happy, at least that's what I kept telling myself. What better way to start being happy then to visit the place that made you sad.

Getting on the airplane I reminded myself that I had to forget about the past. But I wasn't sure if it had forgotten me.

I immediately went and sat in my seat to my surprise anxious to see everyone again.

"It will be as if I'd never existed"

I immediately stopped wide-eyed because I recognized his voice. I remembered it. How could I ever forget it? It was beautiful and mesmerizing. It was a faint whisper but still clear. I closed my eyes and shook my head. I didn't want to hear him again. Not again. I wasn't ready for the pain that had once consumed me before. I put my hand over my mouth as I inhaled and exhaled slowly. I could feel my uneven breath slowing down. Thankfully I felt calm. I took my hand that covered my mouth and placed it in my lap. I laid my head back against the head rest and closed my eyes.

It will be as if I'd never existed

I slowly shook my head not wanting those words to hunt the back of my mind any longer.

You promised

I whispered desperately to myself as I drifted to sleep.

Ok guys so that's Chapter 1. Hope you guys liked it. This story will only continue if I get positive reviews. So please review guys

EdwardBella4ever