Kuja's Happy Childhood
A/N: Okay, we don't own Kuja or Zidane or any ff stuff. Let the games begin!
"Daddy, Daddy look what I did!" yelled a very small Kuja. He shoved a mangled dove into Garland's hand. Garland looked down at it in disgust. "Aren't you proud of me Daddy?" Kuja asked in a very enticing and adorable voice being only around four.
"Stupid child!" Garland shouted. He threw the bird off the platform that was their world. "You are so damn dumb! How could you kill an innocent creature?!"
"But Daddy, I thought you liked the bird!" Kuja said cutely.
"When it was ALIVE you idiot!" Garland shouted.
Kuja looked sadly down at his feet with a puppy dog look to make you say "aw!"
"I'm sorry Daddy…" Kuja said.
Garland showed no mercy. He grabbed poor little Kuja by his tail and dragged him to the rafters where he hung him there…by his tail.
"Daddy, my spine is cracking!" Kuja screamed.
"Shut up you faggot!" Garland yelled.
Kuja began to cry but then started to laugh because some feathers were growing out of his head. They were dove feathers the same silvery purple as his hair.
"Now see what you've done!" Garland screamed. "You are deformed for life you freak!"
Then Kuja cried again.
"Daddy don't you love me?!" Kuja whined.
"No," Garland said as he walked away from this therapy-worthy sight.
Kuja bawled louder. Garland had no sympathy whatsoever.
"Shut your ass you son of a bitch!" Garland yelled as he shut the door.
"You're my Daddy so you're a bitch!" Kuja said laughing.
Garland turned around and screamed in a rage and ran forward and we will censor the next scene. Let's just say Garland beat Kuja without mercy. (Don't worry, Kuja kills him later around twenty years later to be exact).
~Approximately four years later~
"How's my cute little genome?!" Garland asked the four month old Zidane who was sitting beating a plushy of Gaia with his rattle.
"Bribble dibble," Zidane said in baby-talk.
"Oh you're speaking!" Garland said ecstatically. Then his face darknened. "Unlike your damn brother who couldn't speak until he was five months old!"
Kuja walked into the room. He had only grown by about four inches since he was four now that he was eight.
"Who's talking?" Kuja asked.
"Not you!" Garland screamed, throwing the rattle at him. Zidane began to cry and Kuja returned the rattle.
"Daddy, Daddy that hurt!" Kuja cried.
"Pardon me Zidane while I go beat the crap out of your brother," Garland said, standing up.
"Dubbuber," Zidane said.
Kuja ran screaming from the room.
~another four years later~
"Hey Zidane!" Kuja yelled enthusiastically. Kuja was now four feet tall at the age of twelve. "Wanna go for a ride with me bro?!"
"Bubble tubber a di," Zidane said running up to Kuja to the ship. "Zidane wanna go for a ride in spaceship!"
"That's what I thought!" Kuja said helping his brother into the Invincible. Kuja then jumped in after him.
They flew to Gaia for two hours and Kuja then dropped Zidane off into Lindblum… literally.
"See ya later bro!" Kuja called after his tumbling brother.
Kuja then took the Invincible back to Terra where Garland was waiting for him.
"What were you doing in my ship?" Garland asked suspiciously.
"Oh, nothing," Kuja said with an abnormally large smile on his face.
Garland was not convinced. "Where's Zidane?" he asked. "He is not in his play-pen,"
"Oh, what da ya know?" Kuja said casually as he walked away.
Garland looked over at the ship and then back at Kuja. Suddenly, a look of understanding dawned on his face.
"Oh my god Kuja! I'll kill you!" then he ran as fast as a race-horse after Kuja and broke eight bones in Kuja's body. (Garland was very abusive to Kuja but not Zidane until Kuja left Terra. Luckily, twelve years later, Kuja got back at Garland very nicely by kicking him in the stomach and knocking him off the platform and then destroyed the entire planet. Garland's body was never found).
~Kuja is nineteen now~
Kuja hopped into the Invincible.
"Oh yeah! I'm ditchin' this piece of crap planet! See ya later Garland ya piece a crap!" Kuja screamed as he shut the door and left Terra forever (almost forever).
Kuja was planning on going to Gaia to make plans with the queen of Alexandria.
"Mwa ha ha! I can get that queen to do anything!" Kuja said happily. A few hours later he touched down in Alexandria and sent the Invincible back up into the sky to be hidden by the clouds.
He walked up to Alexandria Castle and asked to meet with the queen.
"Ah yes, she's been expecting you," the guards said.
Kuja was then directed into the Main Chamber and into the queen's chambers where he saw a big pile of blue flab otherwise known as the queen. Kuja mentally cringed. Though he was growing nauseous he bowed to show manners.
"Your majesty, I am Kuja!" Kuja said as he stood up.
The queen stood up and Kuja mentally winced because she was all blubbery and wobbly like an oversized piece of crap.
"I have been expecting you Kuja!" Queen Brahne said. "So, what do we need to discuss?"
"It has come to my attention that your daughter, Princess Garnet, has the gift of summoning. We will be able to safely extract eidolons from her in about five years," Kuja said. "You know, you can do great things with these powers," Now he had her attention. The queen was obviously unbelievably greedy.
"And what would I be able to do with these powers?" the queen asked curiously.
"Anything you want. Eidolons are unstoppable. You can take over the Mist Continent if you wish…" Kuja said winking.
~four years later, Kuja is twenty-three~
Kuja visited Queen Brahne again.
"The time is nearing," Kuja said mysteriously. "Garnet's birthday is but a few months away. We should begin the preparations…Don't you agree?"
The queen smiled showing her fat lips and disgustingly green teeth. Kuja shuddered when she wasn't looking.
"Of course," the queen said.
Kuja walked out the door.
A/N: Okay, enough abuse for now.
A/N: Okay, we don't own Kuja or Zidane or any ff stuff. Let the games begin!
"Daddy, Daddy look what I did!" yelled a very small Kuja. He shoved a mangled dove into Garland's hand. Garland looked down at it in disgust. "Aren't you proud of me Daddy?" Kuja asked in a very enticing and adorable voice being only around four.
"Stupid child!" Garland shouted. He threw the bird off the platform that was their world. "You are so damn dumb! How could you kill an innocent creature?!"
"But Daddy, I thought you liked the bird!" Kuja said cutely.
"When it was ALIVE you idiot!" Garland shouted.
Kuja looked sadly down at his feet with a puppy dog look to make you say "aw!"
"I'm sorry Daddy…" Kuja said.
Garland showed no mercy. He grabbed poor little Kuja by his tail and dragged him to the rafters where he hung him there…by his tail.
"Daddy, my spine is cracking!" Kuja screamed.
"Shut up you faggot!" Garland yelled.
Kuja began to cry but then started to laugh because some feathers were growing out of his head. They were dove feathers the same silvery purple as his hair.
"Now see what you've done!" Garland screamed. "You are deformed for life you freak!"
Then Kuja cried again.
"Daddy don't you love me?!" Kuja whined.
"No," Garland said as he walked away from this therapy-worthy sight.
Kuja bawled louder. Garland had no sympathy whatsoever.
"Shut your ass you son of a bitch!" Garland yelled as he shut the door.
"You're my Daddy so you're a bitch!" Kuja said laughing.
Garland turned around and screamed in a rage and ran forward and we will censor the next scene. Let's just say Garland beat Kuja without mercy. (Don't worry, Kuja kills him later around twenty years later to be exact).
~Approximately four years later~
"How's my cute little genome?!" Garland asked the four month old Zidane who was sitting beating a plushy of Gaia with his rattle.
"Bribble dibble," Zidane said in baby-talk.
"Oh you're speaking!" Garland said ecstatically. Then his face darknened. "Unlike your damn brother who couldn't speak until he was five months old!"
Kuja walked into the room. He had only grown by about four inches since he was four now that he was eight.
"Who's talking?" Kuja asked.
"Not you!" Garland screamed, throwing the rattle at him. Zidane began to cry and Kuja returned the rattle.
"Daddy, Daddy that hurt!" Kuja cried.
"Pardon me Zidane while I go beat the crap out of your brother," Garland said, standing up.
"Dubbuber," Zidane said.
Kuja ran screaming from the room.
~another four years later~
"Hey Zidane!" Kuja yelled enthusiastically. Kuja was now four feet tall at the age of twelve. "Wanna go for a ride with me bro?!"
"Bubble tubber a di," Zidane said running up to Kuja to the ship. "Zidane wanna go for a ride in spaceship!"
"That's what I thought!" Kuja said helping his brother into the Invincible. Kuja then jumped in after him.
They flew to Gaia for two hours and Kuja then dropped Zidane off into Lindblum… literally.
"See ya later bro!" Kuja called after his tumbling brother.
Kuja then took the Invincible back to Terra where Garland was waiting for him.
"What were you doing in my ship?" Garland asked suspiciously.
"Oh, nothing," Kuja said with an abnormally large smile on his face.
Garland was not convinced. "Where's Zidane?" he asked. "He is not in his play-pen,"
"Oh, what da ya know?" Kuja said casually as he walked away.
Garland looked over at the ship and then back at Kuja. Suddenly, a look of understanding dawned on his face.
"Oh my god Kuja! I'll kill you!" then he ran as fast as a race-horse after Kuja and broke eight bones in Kuja's body. (Garland was very abusive to Kuja but not Zidane until Kuja left Terra. Luckily, twelve years later, Kuja got back at Garland very nicely by kicking him in the stomach and knocking him off the platform and then destroyed the entire planet. Garland's body was never found).
~Kuja is nineteen now~
Kuja hopped into the Invincible.
"Oh yeah! I'm ditchin' this piece of crap planet! See ya later Garland ya piece a crap!" Kuja screamed as he shut the door and left Terra forever (almost forever).
Kuja was planning on going to Gaia to make plans with the queen of Alexandria.
"Mwa ha ha! I can get that queen to do anything!" Kuja said happily. A few hours later he touched down in Alexandria and sent the Invincible back up into the sky to be hidden by the clouds.
He walked up to Alexandria Castle and asked to meet with the queen.
"Ah yes, she's been expecting you," the guards said.
Kuja was then directed into the Main Chamber and into the queen's chambers where he saw a big pile of blue flab otherwise known as the queen. Kuja mentally cringed. Though he was growing nauseous he bowed to show manners.
"Your majesty, I am Kuja!" Kuja said as he stood up.
The queen stood up and Kuja mentally winced because she was all blubbery and wobbly like an oversized piece of crap.
"I have been expecting you Kuja!" Queen Brahne said. "So, what do we need to discuss?"
"It has come to my attention that your daughter, Princess Garnet, has the gift of summoning. We will be able to safely extract eidolons from her in about five years," Kuja said. "You know, you can do great things with these powers," Now he had her attention. The queen was obviously unbelievably greedy.
"And what would I be able to do with these powers?" the queen asked curiously.
"Anything you want. Eidolons are unstoppable. You can take over the Mist Continent if you wish…" Kuja said winking.
~four years later, Kuja is twenty-three~
Kuja visited Queen Brahne again.
"The time is nearing," Kuja said mysteriously. "Garnet's birthday is but a few months away. We should begin the preparations…Don't you agree?"
The queen smiled showing her fat lips and disgustingly green teeth. Kuja shuddered when she wasn't looking.
"Of course," the queen said.
Kuja walked out the door.
A/N: Okay, enough abuse for now.