Wuffles

By: ScarletDeva

Author's Note: So the hubby took me to see Thor 2 (which I sekritly refer to as Hair World. I mean right? How good does everyone's hair look?) And on the way home, amid shouts of EARTH SCIENCE! (he isn't totally right in the head but I love him anyway, gods bless his funny little brain) he stumbled on a mental image that he then refused to write himself. So I threw myself on that hand grenade. And um yeah - there really isn't any Jane or Thor here.

Summary: A combination of Earth Science (TM) [Jane Foster is TOTALLY a Science Bro!] and Asgardian Badassery (TM) [or is it badabery? Oh Thor and his magnificent abs!] has defeated the dark elves, leaving the universe safe once more. And. Er. The streets of Greenwich a mess. Not to mention that giant Frost Beast chasing midgardian avians. Yeah hey what about that?

Disclaimer: You know.

The SHIELD cordon around Greenwich was efficient and encompassing but it did little, if not nothing at all, to keep the golden and scarlet figure from tumbling loops in the clouds and then setting down right where the Dark Elf ship rammed into the harbor.

"Excellent landing, sir," Jarvis said dryly in Iron Man's helmet.

"Thanks, buddy," Tony replied absently as he surveyed the destroyed landscape, cars strewed upside down, chunks of masonry, torn up trees flung on their sides, and bits of various alien worlds.

"Stark!" called Maria Hill as she rushed from the cordon line.

"Oh hey, Hill, busy," he called back and engaged his thrusters, rising above six feet to hover in the air as he slowly spun around, "bother me later. I'll make time to harass you. Promise."

"STARK," she yelled in frustration.

"Don't let your head explode there," he cautioned with a grin she could hear, "Pepper made me promise that I would be nice to you for at least a week. I'm pretty sure causing you to self-immolate would make her mad."

Maria groaned. "You have ten minutes, Stark, then I want you out!"

"That's okay. That's all I need," he replied cheerfully as he banked and headed towards the street. "Got a lunch meeting with Jane Foster. Oh and Fabio too."

The street was just as torn up, pavement pitted and ripped, becoming more so as the Frost Beast chased after fleeing birds with a playful growl.

"Are you sure about this, sir?" Jarvis asked cautiously. "I don't believe that Ms. Potts would approve."

"Hey, normal people have cats, rich people have toy dogs, but what does a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist have? I'll tell you what," Tony proclaimed as he landed in front of the Frost Beast. He set down a shielded carry-pack and withdrew a large, raw side of beef. Then he held out a gauntleted hand, meat juices dripping over his fingers. "This guy. This guy has a giant, alien puppy."

"I see, sir," Jarvis replied dubiously.

The Frost Beast eyed Tony then huffled, moving closer, and Tony waved at him with the beef.

"Stark!" Maria shouted behind him, half bewildered and half resigned.

"Hush, Hill, don't interrupt a genius at work." The Frost Beast approached and almost gently nipped at the huge chunk of meat. "There you go, buddy. I think... I shall call you Wuffles." Tony nodded, the helmet gleaming in the early afternoon sun. He thought Maria may have sobbed a little.

It was a good day to be Tony Stark.

"Tony!" Pepper's voice broke through Jarvis' channel.

"Oh hi, honey," he said with a grin. "Guess what? I'm bringing you a pet! Now I gotta go! Love you!"

He cut the comm line even as Pepper began listing the bodily harm that would await him, an action he was sure to pay for later - and maybe enjoy - and pressed a button on his shielded carry, the metal plating expanding to turn into a carry-cage large enough for Wuffles.

It was definitely a good day to be Tony Stark.