Author's Note:

There's a little bit of a back-story to the origin of this piece of insanity. I... well, I actually turned this in to my teacher because she gave us an assignment to use ten vocab words in a story. My mind spit this little wonder out, so I thought I might as well share it with you all. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing Soul Eater.

"MAKA! Oh, Makaaa~!"

Soul only succeeds in stuffing one of his hands into his pocket before the other is snatched up. Here we go again...

He can see the very moment the scream triggers a fight-or-flight reaction in his partner; her forest green eyes widen to the size of dinner plates, horror accosts every line of her features. Maka recoils, as if the sound of her own father's voice will cause her physical harm. Although, Soul muses, that isn't much of a stretch from the truth considering all the gross sobbing and hugging and cheek-pinching that being caught is sure to earn her. Flight wins out against fight, eventually.

Soul braces himself, too used to this to be truly bothered, and sighs in resignation as Maka takes his hand and yanks him down the hallway like the hounds of hell are on their heels. They round corner after corner until they've wound up outside, on one of the school's many balconies. BlackStar ignores their arrival, barely glances their way, and continues to excitedly shout about surpassing immortal beings. Tsubaki regards them with a knowing smile. Maka doesn't even bat an eye when a sudden scream rips through the air.

"That wasn't very nice, Maka! Why does my little girl hate me so much, Stein?" Spirit's dramatic wails can still be heard halfway across Death Academy as he screeches his woes at the local mad scientist.

Maka rolls her eyes, her chest still heaving from running at the speed of light, and mutters, "Because you're a barbaric Neanderthal who probably prefers even Stein to my mother."

Amazingly, BlackStar seems to hear her quiet comment over his own obnoxious yelling and pauses contemplatively. "That's actually true, if you hadn't noticed… tragic for you, but still true."

The scathing glare that Maka sends his way is enough to get the blue-haired assassin to promptly shut his trap. Then, all at once, the anger dissipates and she adopts a rather worrying smirk. "Right. You're certainly one to talk, BlackStar. Enough people have mistaken your close friendship with Kid for something entirely different-" her smirk only grows "-just in case you hadn't noticed."

Soul claps a hand over his mouth to keep from bursting into laughter as BlackStar's cheeks positively burn. Even Tsubaki has to smother her giggles as BlackStar keeps turning redder and redder until he's a curious shade of purple.

"That is so not the same thing! Kid and I are complete opposites!" he sputters, arms folding defensively over his chest.

Soul quirks an eyebrow, "Haven't you ever heard the phrase 'opposites attract'?" He sends quick, sidelong glance at Maka because they, too, were opposites in their own way. Maka doesn't take the hint; Soul viciously squashes a spider under his heel.

"Well, duh. But we're just too differ-"

Maka scoffs. "Yes, yes. We're all aware that you're the vainest person to ever walk the earth, meanwhile Kid's decently modest. He's a pessimistic little Death God and you're optimistic enough for seven people. Not to mention that whole 'let's jump into mortal danger for the hell of it!' complex you have whenever you're on a mission - Kid remains level-headed and dissimilar to an energetic puppy on steroids."

BlackStar shrugs, "I can't really argue with that."

"Yes, she nailed it," a new voice says from above their heads.

"Speak of the devil, and he shall appear…" Soul says in a mystified sort of way. "Hey there, Kid. Welcome to our discussion of yours and BlackStar's imminent gay love."

BlackStar suddenly looks like he wants to punch a poor, defenseless wall. None of them are surprised when he really does take a swing at it, nor do any of them gasp in shock when the slab of sideways concrete fairs worse than his knuckles and spindly cracks appear in the wall. Kid raises an eyebrow from where he's hovering on his skateboard before shrugging and lazily tossing his twin pistols into the air as he descends. The Thompson sisters revert back to human-form, and Patty immediately rushes to inspect the abused wall.

"Sis! Look, look, look – it's like a spider-web!" she exclaims, far too excited about this new development.

Liz sighs, smiling tiredly yet fondly. "That's nice, Patty."

"Are Kid and BlackStar going to kiss or what?"

"…wow, Tsubaki, I didn't expect that question from you, of all people."

"What can I say? I ship it."

"I feel so betrayed right now."

"No one cares, BlackStar."

"Well, shit. That makes me want to prove we aren't 'meant to be' or whatever."

Then his head snaps back towards Kid. BlackStar doesn't even think about it. His hands dart across the gap of space separating him and the son of death and he grabs Kid by the front of his jacket, face unnervingly blank. There's only enough time for Kid to realize that BlackStar is longer kidding, to take a single, unsure step back before lips are pressed lightly onto his and he melts. It's like a switch flips on in both their brains, triggering a series of screams that sound something like so right, so right and don't stop, don't stop.

Maka isn't fairing much better, watching the interaction – her knees are going weak because there's only so much a girl can take when she's a closeted yaoi-fangirl. Soul has to catch her when her legs finally do buckle, which really makes him want to kick his two lip-locking friends in the face.

"Alright, we get it."

No response.

Soul's eye twitches. And then one of the fuckers moans.

"Oh hell no," Soul turns around and promptly shoves his fingers into his ears. "Go to your happy place, Soul. Where your friends aren't trying to swallow one another and the object of your affections isn't enjoying said attempted cannibalism... oh man, I said that out loud."

Thankfully, Maka is thoroughly passed out on the concrete, a lovely river of blood flowing from her nose and - well, now she's drowning in it. Tsubaki hides behind Liz, her face a blazing-red color and looking for all the world that she wanted to vanish. Liz, on the other hand, seems completely unfazed, examining her nails with a deep frown.

"Holy shit! Do that agai-" BlackStar lets out a rather enthusiastic moan, and Soul sees his hands traveling farther down Kid's back. And down, and down, and down, and-

"Oh!"

And then Kid is pinning BlackStar to the ground.

"Fuck this. I'm gone before this gets downright gross and the hips start rolling." Soul carefully picks up his Meister and storms off the balcony.

Tsubaki peeks out from behind the blonde curtain of Liz's hair. "Do you think we should leave, too?"

"Well..." Liz smirks, "I have a few ideas about what we could do together, my dear camellia."

Tsubaki shivers; it should've been illegal to look at someone so hungrily. "I... uh, lead the way." She doesn't know what the hell is happening - and with Liz, no less - but she only blushes when the other weapon takes her hand and follows.

They're gone within seconds, and Patty is left with BlackStar and Kid writhing on the floor in front of her. But Patty only shrugs, grins, and begins shouting, "STRIP, STRIP, STRIP!"

She doesn't stay long enough to find out if they actually do rip each other's clothes off - how in the seven hells are they even getting oxygen? they must have gills - but Crona's blood-curdling shriek not two seconds after she leaves is answer enough. Patty laces her hands together behind her head and decides she better not go looking for Liz if she doesn't want to suffer the same fate.

Many hours later, in the overwhelming silence of their apartment, Tsubaki won't even look up from her lap and BlackStar's shit-eating grin is bordering on psychotic.

"Hey," BlackStar prompts, rocking back and forth in his cross-legged position. "Hey, Tsubaki."

She doesn't appear to be alive, and he sighs. "I told you Liz liked you back, you know. A long time ago."

This finally seems to snap her out of it. She blushes and wrings her hands together, "How was I supposed to know you were actually right for once?"

"Hey, I resent that!"

"Oh, hush." She smiles in that knowing way of hers. "I recall telling you how obvious you and Kid were, but you wouldn't listen."

BlackStar begins smiling stupidly at just the mention of Kid, and Tsubaki almost makes a remark about how far-gone her partner is.

"Hey, Tsubaki?"

"What, BlackStar?"

"You know how people roll their R's?"

"Um, yes..."

"Kid did that in my mouth!"