It was rainy Saturday morning. Clouds have covered whole sky and made it dark-grey. Grass were so wet and slippery that I had to make an effort not to fall down. Wind permeated me and I shivered.

I looked up at the weeking sky. If you only knew how much I hate Saturdays. The day I have to be outside from morning to evening, because of Saturday house-cleaning. My parents never make me to tide my room by myself. That is what servants do. But I am always to be thrown out from home because as my mom said I 'interfere everyone all the time'. That's not the truth. I can be very useful. For example, I can wash the dishes or sweep the traps in our garden or even take out the trash. But I'm always out of home business. It drives me mad. No, don't think I love doing chores, I just want to be needed. No way my 'nice' mom let me know that. She never hugs me, never kisses me before bedtime, nor makes me breakfast. She just doesn't pay attention to me when I need her, but when I am in trouble this woman is always here with her leather belt on me. Her day won't pass good if she doesn't injure me. Mother customizes my brothers against me. So they have a legal right to beat, or as they say 'discipline', me as often as they want. Mom always tries to aware my dad that I am spoilt disobedient girl who needs father to spank her. Daddy's only one on this planet who loves me and stands by my side. Frankly, he is afraid to argue with mom and can't defend ne at all, but he tries. That is really important. I guess thus is only reason I still live in this household. But no matter what I love my mom and I hope one day she will realize she's got daughter who loves her. Maybe she will.

Another wave of freezing wind blows me and my chews trembled relentlessly. I sat down on the cold bench and breathed on my hands, trying to warm them. Cup of steaming tea wouldn't be excess here.

"It's cold, isn't it?" I heard low voice behind my shoulder. I turned around to see my big brother standing aside me.

I frowned. "What do you want, Ronald? Came to gloat again? It cheers up you, I know. But I am too exhausted to argue with you". As I said I turned out.

"No, sister, I didn't. I would have let you in, but...".

"But you don't want to" I grinned.

"I do".

I turned back and look at him "Really?".

He nodded intensely "Yes. But momma doesn't". He gave me five seconds to realize information, then laughed loadly.

"Oh, shut up" I growled while trying not to jump to stupid brother and kick him. No way I can't do it, I'm just afraid others will whip me up if I raise a hand on my brother.

"You are fifteen and still so naive. The one thing I love in you. Hey, wanna know what mom said today about you?".

Trying to hold my tears inside, I answered "What?".

Ronald sighed as he continued with pleasure in his voice "She reminded her and daddy's youth and told that you were the worst in her life. She also said she wish they used a condom". He laughed out again and disappeared around the corner of the house.

Despite of countless times I've been pulled out, this attitude makes my heart squeezed. Maybe I should have pulled out a long time ago, because I know I won't get all attention back to me, but I just can't. I want my family back. If you think I was redundant since my birth day, you can't imagine how wrong you are.

FLASHBACK

'Hey, Mile, give me the hummer' dad shouted trying not to fall down from high garden tree.

I jumped from swings and grabbed heavy tool. I was just eight and it feels like I was carrying concrete slab. But I felt amazing, because I was helping my daddy. My big brothers' help was more useful, of course, and dad told I was his little helper, like fairy. That evening tool fell on my leg. I remember mom calming me and smoothing my hair.

END OF FLASHBACK

These simple things will make me happy today.