SCENE 1 - EXTERIOR, SHIP
A few miles out from the coast of Port Royal, a slave ship prepares to dock where it will hand over its captured slaves.
The captain of the ship stands by the helm, watching carefully over the crew as they perform there duties.
CAPTAIN:
We're nearing our destination.
(glances at a pocket watch)
CAPTAIN: (CONT'D)
How long before we make port? We're on a tight schedule.
HELMSMAN:
As long as this wind keeps up, we're bound to arrive before dawn tomorrow.
CAPTAIN:
Excellent, carry on.
The captain walks down to the deck and sees one of his crew struggling to mop the deck. He walks up behind him.
CAPTAIN: (CONT'D)
Sailor, what exactly in god's name are you doing?
The sailor turns to face the captain, revealing himself to be Jack Sparrow.
JACK:
I'm sorry, sir?
CAPTAIN:
Whatever it is you're trying to do, I assure you, you are doing it poorly.
JACK:
Um, did you want to give it a go?
CAPTAIN:
What is your name sailor?
JACK:
John Smith, captain.
CAPTAIN:
(questionably)
John Smith?
JACK:
Aye.
CAPTAIN:
Well Mr. Smith, anyone that knows me, is aware that I run a ship with high expectations and little tolerance for deadweight. Is that clear?
JACK:
Incontrovertibly.
The captain walks away without saying another word but stops at one of the uniformed guards.
CAPTAIN:
The alcohol, (pause) it isn't available to the crew is it?
GUARD:
No sir, why?
CAPTAIN:
No reason.
The camera quickly cuts to Jack swaggering about with the mop in hand.
FADE OUT.
SCENE 2 - INTERIOR, SHIP
It's the middle of the night and everyone besides a few guards above deck are asleep. Jack opens his eyes and proceeds to sneak from the sleeping quarters where he's surrounded by many of his fellow crew.
He slowly makes his way down to the brig where a group of slaves are also sleeping behind a large cell along with a single guard who's slumped in a chair.
Crouching in front of the guard, Jack picks up a blackjack beside the chair and peers into his eyes, centimeters from his face. As Jack attempts to determine how fast asleep he is, the guard sneezes in his face but remains asleep. With his face scrunched up, Jack taps the guard lightly on the forehead until his eyes slowly open.
JACK:
Bless you.
He once again hits him over the head but this time with enough force to knock him out. He then walks to the steel bars separating him from the slaves and begins clanging onto them. One of the prisoners wakes.
SLAVE 1:
Whaddaya swine want now huh? Isn't it a little late to be torturing prisoners?
JACK:
I wouldn't know, I've never tortured one before.
SLAVE 1:
Down to the depths with ya, you filthy, flea ridden mongrel! I might not have seen you before, but you're no different from the rest that have made our lives a nightmare.
JACK:
I am too. In fact, I have a proposition that I'd like to propose to you, that I think you'll find me worth proposing.
SLAVE 1:
(Pause) Spit it out.
JACK:
(quickly glances from left to right)
I'm going to take the ship.
SLAVE 1:
(confused)
What?
JACK:
I suppose I should say we are going to take the ship. That is unless you'd rather spend the rest of your days as an emaciated slave. Aye?
SLAVE 1:
And what are your terms then?
JACK:
Simple. I release you and your mates, supply you all with weapons and since everyone's nodded off we'll catch them by surprise and wake em to the pointy end of our swords. They won't stand a chance.
SLAVE 1:
And what do we do with them then? Kill em?
JACK:
No, we throw em overboard. But not before I introduce myself as the infamous and ruggedly handsome Captain Jack Sparrow. Once that's sorted, I declare myself captain of the ship and we sail the seas in a perpetual search for wenches, limitless treasures and copious amounts of pillaging and plundering. What say you to that?
(a brief pause ensues)
SLAVE 1:
Agreed.
(he looks to the sleeping men around him)
Wake up, wake up. Tonight we become masters of our fate once more.
A smile appears on Jack's face before he unlocks the cell door and releases the prisoners, initiating the takeover.
FADE OUT.
SCENE 3 - EXTERIOR, SHIP
Once getting a hold of weapons, the men captured the crew and soldiers and brought them up to the deck where jack waited triumphantly.
JACK:
(exclaiming)
Listen up! Now I know what you're all thinking. You're thinking; who is this magnificent gentleman that has so connivingly taken possession of this vessel. Good question! It is none other than the ravishing, Captain Jack Sparrow.
SLAVE 2:
(frustrated)
Get on with it!
JACK:
Another question you're no doubt asking yourselves is whether or not you're all going to die. You'll be pleased to know that you will not. (Pause) Unless of course you can't swim, in which case you probably will. So remember that name.
One by one the released prisoners threw the crew off the ship into the water, only a few short miles from the shore.
JACK: (CONT'D)
Now, where's that captain hiding.
Two of the slaves bring the captain forward to Jack.
JACK: (CONT'D)
Ah, there you are. There's just one small thing I want from you before I let you go.
(picks up the mop sitting against the mast and hands it to the captain)
Show me how it's done.
CAPTAIN:
Go plough yourself pirate.
JACK:
(draws his sword)
You insult me with obvious impossibilities.
(points it at the captain)
Come, come. We don't have all day.
Begrudgingly, the captain begins to mop the deck with the dry mop, while Jack watches carefully.
JACK: (CONT'D)
Interesting. A little unenthused but your technique is spot on.
Once all the crew had been thrown overboard, the captain is dragged to the side of the of the ship about to also be thrown over. Jack intervenes.
JACK: (CONT'D)
Oh, hold on a minute.
(takes the hat off the captain's head and puts it on his own)
Carry on.
The captain is now standing on the very edge of the ship.
JACK: (CONT'D)
Wait!
(turns to the annoyed slaves)
Sorry.
JACK: (CONT'D)
Before you be on your way, where is it you hide the rum?
CAPTAIN:
What?
JACK:
The rum, where is it?
CAPTAIN:
We don't store any rum aboard this ship.
Scowling, Jack waves his hand signalling the captain be thrown overboard. Jack then turns to his new crew.
JACK:
We have taken the ship!
CREW:
(in unison as they wave there swords)
Aye!
JACK:
All hands on deck, take us out to sea.
(he turns to go below deck and whispers to himself)
Now I take my chances and see if they can run a ship.
FADE OUT.
SCENE 4 - INTERIOR, SHIP
Jack is rummaging through all the cabins and drawers searching for rum. A little while passes before he finally finds a crate full of dusty bottles.
JACK:
(walking above deck with his eyes on the rum bottle)
Good news, I've found...
Jack is met with the entire crew pointing there swords at him.
JACK: (CONT'D)
Bugger.
He is dragged to the edge of the ship like the others.
JACK: (CONT'D)
How can you do this to me? I've been mutinied on before, but this is just ridiculous.
SLAVE 1:
I regret doing this, but seeing as how you dealt with your last crew mates, you're not exactly the most trust worthy of sorts are ya?
JACK:
(forced by two of the slaves onto the plank. He looks out to the water and see's the crew half way to the shore)
How about you at least drop me off at the next port, Aye? The least you can do.
SLAVE 3:
No deal!
(he stomps his foot on the plank, causing Jack to lose his balance and fall into the water)
Cuts to Jack finally getting out of the water on the shore of Port Royal. He looks up to see the drenched crew staring at him furiously. There's a brief silence.
JACK:
(to the captain)
In case you were wondering, you've been grossly misinformed about your ship's availability of rum.
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 5 - INTERIOR, JAIL CELL