THE TRAGIC TALE OF EDWARD AND BELLA - PART 1
I do not own any Twilight or Harry Potter characters.
Edward: *sits on couch looking at a random spot on the wall*
Bella: *sits next to Edward and is very, very, VERY pregnant* Edward! Get me some damn food!
Edward: *sighs and gets up* Yes, dear.
Jacob: *sneaks in when Edward is gone and makes out with Bella like animals on the couch*
Jasper: *runs into the room streaking and screaming* THE NEWBORNS ARE COMING! THE NEWBORNS ARE COMING!
Alice: *chases her husband around with a pair of pants* JAZZ! PUT SOME PANTS ON!
Jasper: *runs around the couch that Jacob and Bella are still making out on*I
Edward: *comes in and drops everything* BELLA! JASPER!
Bella: *pulls away from Jacob and looks at him, then at Jasper and Alice who have stopped running too* What?
Edward: YOU'RE MAKING OUT ON THE COUCH WITH JACOB!
Emmett: *appears out of nowhere* Oooh! Burn! *disappears*
Rosalie: *appears were Emmett had been just as he disappears* DAMMIT EMMETT STOP DISAPPARATING! THIS ISN'T HARRY POTTER YOU IDIOT! *poofs away to find him*
Fred Weasley: *poofs in* Has anyone seem some stupid brown-haired vampire that stole my wand?
Alice: I thought you died.
Fred: Oh… yeah… *fades away* Oh noooooo…
Emmett: *poofs in* YES! THE WAND IS MINE!
Jasper: *starts running around again*
Everyone, including the pregnant Bella: *runs after Jasper and tries to dress him*
Jacob: *stops after a while and starts singing "Trololo Man"*
Carlisle: *comes home from work and sees everything* What the…
Esme: *comes in behind him and stares at the naked Jasper* Oh my…
Carlisle: *grabs his wife's arm* Come on, dearest, let's get out of here. Remember what happened the last time Jasper smoked weed? We don't need to be around for that.
Esme: Yeah, but why is there a werewolf singing on our couch?
Jacob: *hits a really high note in the song and breaks the walls of the Cullen house that are mostly composed of windows*
Everyone: *stops and stares at Jacob*
Edward: *looks at Bella* I can see why you love him. *stares at Jacob dreamily*
Bella: Shh! I hear footsteps! Someone's coming!
Edward: IT'S NOT ME I SWEAR!
Carlisle: *shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose* Oh, Edward… Where did I go wrong?
Aro: *walks into the room and sees the pregnant Bella, the naked Jasper, and the laughing Jacob* What… Oh forget it. I can see you have enough problems. Oh well! I'll try to kill you all another day. *goes to leave and them comes back* Would anyone be willing to play dress up and have a tea party with me?
Carlisle: When did I become the sane one?
*EVERYTHING CUTS TO A SCREEN WITH CAIUS STANDING THERE IN FRONT OF A GREEN SCREEN*
Caius: What will happen next? Will anyone play dress up with Aro? Will Carlisle run away and save himself from the insanity? Will Edward FINALLY kill Jacob? Is Bella pregnant with a vampire, or puppies? We will keep you updated on this news story about this tragic tale as it continues to unfold… tragically we're sure… *throws script to the ground* Why am I the news reporter? This isn't even a news segment!
Warriorcat890: Because I said so! I wanted to put you in there somewhere, and I didn't want to make you insane or stupid, and Carlisle's the only normal one… well him and Esme.
Caius: *sighs* Can't I swoop in and kill someone?
Warrior: *thinks* Maybe… Let me get back to you on that.
Caius: *smiles evilly* YES!
This is what goes on in my mind during a thunderstorm...