This is a Missing Moment for the fifth season episode "Belle's Back". I'd like to thank SingerMe for giving me the idea of this, and for encouraging me to write it. She let me play on her opening and that was very gracious of her.
Two Unforgivable Things
"He didn't keep her tied and gagged for three years." Kitty said, her mouth curving up at one corner.
Matt turned to look at her. He didn't like the expression on her face. He knew why it was there, but he still didn't like it. "You don't believe her?" he asked.
Kitty shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not."
"But…"
"But she could have told people that when she first came back." Her voice turned flat. "You would have listened even if no one else did."
Matt sat back down beside her. "C'mon, Kitty. That's not like you."
Kitty just looked at him.
"Belle and I were over before you ever came to Dodge," Matt said quietly, "I don't see how you can hold that against me."
"You may have been over her, Matt," Kitty said with an intimate intensity, "But she sure wasn't over you."
"Now why do you say that? I didn't know you ever had much to do with her."
"She made her presence known."
Matt looked around. Clem was tending bar, and a couple of customers were standing at the far end of the counter. He stood, took Kitty's arm, and walked her into the office – carefully closing the door behind then. "I think you need to tell me about that, Kitty."
Kitty looked a little abashed. She hadn't ever meant her comments to get this far. She regarded her fingernails with great interest.
Matt stepped behind her and put a hand on each of her shoulders. "You need to tell me, Kitty."
"Why?"
"It could be important. If it has anything to do with her behavior on leaving town, either the first time or the second, then it could have to do with Jess Cryder and I need to know. I'm most likely going to have to face him." He let his hands slip down to gently hold her upper arms. "And if it has to do with you and me, then I need to know, too."
Kitty sighed. This wasn't going to make either of them happy. She'd kept it inside her for a long time. It wasn't easy to let it out. "Belle came into the Long Branch a few times that year before she left with Jess. Guess she'd heard about me. Maybe about you and me. She… said some things."
"Like?" His voice was quiet but insistent.
"Things she knew you wouldn't appreciate and figured I wouldn't repeat."
"Like?"
"Matt…"
"Kitty."
"Alright, you asked for it, Cowboy. One morning, about this time, she stood at the bar and downed a shot of whiskey and asked the bartender – it was Red that year – why it was a man would pay for something when he could get somethin' just as good for free."
Matt winced.
"Then she came over where I was playin' solitaire – and ignorin' her - and she made some very personal comments about you – makin' it clear she'd been with you. Lettin' me know she expected you around again."
"I didn't know women said things like that," Matt said, his voice very deep.
Kitty shook her head. "You don't know much of anything about women, honey." She stopped for a bit, but he just kept rubbing his hands softly up and down on her arms. "And when she came back…"
"Yeah?"
"She asked me for a job. Said if she was going to be a whore she might as well get paid for it." Kitty hesitated again. She whispered, "Like I did."
Matt turned her into his arms, but he didn't say anything. Kitty felt the tension in him. She knew he hated it when people said that to her. She'd seen him backhand a cowboy into unconsciousness for calling her a whore, and she'd seen him take off his gun and beat a local man into bruised oblivion in the back alley for the same thing. But she knew there was nothing he could do to Belle, and he knew it too.
She pulled away from him a little. "It was a long time ago, Matt. I hoped we'd never have to see her again."
"So did I, Kitty," he admitted with more frankness than she expected. "I suppose it's one of the reasons I didn't try to go after her when old man Ainsley wanted me to."
"What was it between you, Matt?" Kitty asked. "Was she… were you her… ?"
Matt snorted. "I was no more her first than she was mine, Kitty."
"Then what was it that she had against you? Must have been something," Kitty said, hesitated, and went on, "I know you didn't hurt her, Matt, no matter how mad she made you. It's not in you to hurt a woman."
"Oh, I hurt her all right, honey," Matt replied, and felt her stiffen. He pulled her gently back against him and spread his hand in her hair, holding her face against his shoulder. "I hurt her pride, Kitty. I did two truly unforgivable things."
Kitty stood quietly in his arms. She didn't move and she didn't speak. This bit had to come from him. She couldn't ask for it. Eventually he spoke again. "Two unforgivable things. When she told me to leave, I did. And when she asked me to come back, I didn't."
Rubbing her face against his vest, she nestled into his embrace. "I guess you know more about women than I thought you did, Cowboy."
"I know one more thing, Kitty, and you should know it too."
"Oh?"
"If it had been you Jess Cryder carried off, I would have been after him the same day, and I wouldn't have stopped until he was dead."
"I would never have gone willingly, Matt."
"I know that, honey. I most surely do."