AN: QFLC Round 9 entry! Aside from my personal prompt, which was the Shakespearean play Othello, I used the prompts Obliviate, feather, and the word count 2618. (Prompts 3, 6, and 11 respectively.) For once I attempted humour.

As a general warning, in this fic there is the casual mention of murder (but no murder is carried out), a character is tricked into thinking that their partner's sexuality is different from what it is, and dubious morals are presented by two characters. Aside from that, this fic is also an AU in that Voldemort wasn't really a thing, but James and Lilly Potter are still out of the picture. Sirius, as Harry's godfather, took custody of Harry, Remus and Peter are kind of like uncles, and they plus the Weasley family kind of make a family unit.

As a final note, the title for this fic comes from the poem "Sonnet Xvii" by Pablo Neruda. I like irony, and also I figured it was a good way to express the way Hermione loves Ron.

Total word count: 2, 618 (by FFnet's word count)

"Congratulations on your promotion, dear!" Molly Weasley exclaims, spooning mashed potatoes onto Hermione's plate.

As if on cue, the rest of the table all call out congratulations. Hermione blushes and ducks her head, embarrassed from the attention but proud.

"Thanks," Hermione says when they begin to quiet down. "It's fantastic how well things are going at the Ministry, but I can't say much more about it." She tucks a frizzy strand of hair behind her ear and smiles as people laugh and snort. Ron nudges her side with a grin.

When he turns back to his food to cut a piece from the steak on his plate, his engagement ring flashes under the light. Hermione grins, rubbing her own engagement ring with her thumb.

"I don't know what else I expected. It's practically in the job title," Sirius complains. He pokes his steak with a knife, arms thoughtfully tucked in as he does so. Remus' sides are safe for once. "Can't be called Unspeakable if you can talk about it, huh?"

Beside him, Remus smiles, grabbing the bowl of peas as it's passed around to add them to his plate, Sirius', and Harry's. "You should eat more vegetables, Harry," he says when Harry makes an indignant noise. Sirius doesn't even bother arguing about the peas.

Harry rolls his eyes, but eats a spoonful.

Sirius brightens. "You know what we can talk about?" He waves his hand around excitedly. "Remus and I are going to Rome!"

Harry chokes on his peas. "What?" he croaks out. Remus hands him a glass of water, patiently waiting for Harry to drink. "Why haven't I heard anything about this?"

Sirius shrugs, peering around Remus to look Harry in the face as he spoke. "I got two tickets from a friend for a cruise. I figured it would be a nice vacation for us two."

Remus pats Harry on the shoulder. "It's only for two weeks," he says. "We've already asked Peter to stay with you at Grimmauld Place while we're gone." Peter waves meekly from his small corner of the table.

"But I'm nineteen!"

Sirius gives Harry an uncharacteristically stern look. Harry subsides, grumbling.

"Think of it this way Harry," Ginny interjects. "You won't have Sirius badgering you about how you spend your day."

"Doing pranks are a perfectly fine way to spend your day!" Sirius squawks.

Everyone laughs. Hermione notices Ron giving Harry a meaningful look, one of his eyebrows raising. Harry shrugs bashfully in response, eyes flicking off to the side. His face becomes red. Ron snorts, shaking his head as he looked back at his food.

Before Hermione can ask Ron what that was about, Percy asks her about what she thinks of the new memo system at the Ministry.

Cormac McLaggen taps the tabletop with his nail. The whole bar is filthy, full of unshaven men and greasy-haired women, eating peanuts and drinking firewhiskey.

Cormac, with his clean shaven face and gelled back hair and clean clothes, looked entirely out of place in the Hog's Head.

This wasn't the kind of place the he would typically find himself in, but unfortunately his contact was adamant that they meet here.

"So," he says. "You're sure that this will work? Drive the two of them apart and then… come in and comfort Hermione, make her fall for me."

In front of him, looking as out of place in the bar as Cormac did, but for vastly different reasons, Peter Pettigrew nods enthusiastically. Curled into himself as he is, it's a wonder that Pettigrew doesn't hit his chin on the table as he nods.

Cormac hisses. "Why I can't just have you kill Weasley? It'd be easier."

Peter begins shaking his head. "Oh, no, that'd be bad."

Cormac takes a gulp of his own firewhiskey, feeling it burn down his throat. "I just don't see how we're going to convince Hermione that Ron is unsuitable for her if she can't see it now. I mean, honestly, I have money, friends in high places, and attractive good looks - and she turned me down for Weasley of all people." He scowls at Pettigrew. "She's engaged to him now."

Peter peers at Cormac over his butterbeer. "Well," he says hesitantly, "she does love him."

Cormac snorts. "She'll see it my way when Ron Weasley is out of the picture." He pauses. "How are you going to get him out of the picture? I'd like to know what I'm paying for."

"Oh. Um, I thought I'd just have to convince her that Ron's gay and having an affair with Harry. It'd be easy enough." Peter says.

Cormac snorts. "Right, go ahead."

Peter waits a whole week before he says anything to Hermione. It's not that he's putting it off. He was just trying to find a good opportunity to suggest that maybe Harry and Ron weren't just best friends. It's not like he has many conversations with her, anyway.

But Cormac had started sending him vaguely threatening letters two days ago, so Peter figured that he should move a smidge faster.

"So," he says to Hermione. They're the only ones in the Black family's library. Everyone else is downstairs, looking at Fred and George's new inventions, or helping Molly cook dinner. Hermione is looking for a reference about time-turners, already holding a precarious stack of books. Peter is holding the other books she couldn't carry.

Alright Peter. Gently. Subtle. You can do this. "Have you noticed anything weird with Harry and Ron?" Good enough.

Hermione peers around the tower of books she gave Peter to hold. "What do you mean?" she asks. She adds another thick book to the stack. Peter holds back a pained whimper at the extra weight.

"Well," Peter wheezes. "I think - I think Harry isn't… straight."

Hermione pauses. Ah, hook. "Don't be silly, Harry would have told us if he's gay."

"But he hasn't talked about his love life, has he? Hasn't brought home anyone, actually." Peter insists. Hermione moves down the library, and Peter struggles after her. "I think I saw him staring at that Dean Thomas boy during the Bones' Yule Ball."

Well, Peter is pretty sure that Harry had been staring at Ginny who was dancing with Dean Thomas at the time, but Hermione didn't have to know that.

"That's true," Hermione says thoughtfully. "But what brought this up?"

Line. "I - ah, I've been minding Harry and all with Sirius and Remus gone, right? And, I don't know. He's out a lot, says he's with Ron. But I was thinking that maybe he's got - well, a boyfriend that he's keeping secret."

"That can't be," Hermione argues, adding another book onto Peter's stack. "Ron's been hanging out with Harry," she says, trailing off.

Sinker!

"Is something the matter?" Peter says as sweetly as he can manage when Hermione doesn't say anything for a good minute.

"Oh, nothing at all! Just thinking." Hermione reassures. She adds another book to the pile Peter is carrying.

Peter actually whimpers.

Ron stares at the feather. It's vaguely pretty.

"You're sure that this is a good gift?" Ron asks Hermione. He picks up the big green feather carefully and turns it around between his fingers. Behind them, the shop manager wrings his hands anxiously.

It's almost the length of his forearm, thin, and has a healthy sheen on the dark green. It's decorated in various places with red jewels and thin, delicate golden chains. "What is it, anyway?"

Hermione rolls her eyes. "It's a hair ornament."

Ron hums. He squints at it. Nope, he still didn't understand why it was so damn expensive. "Do you like it?" he asks Hermione.

Hermione blinks at him. "Oh, well - yes, it's rather pretty, isn't it?"

Ron hums again, turning the feather around once more before setting it down in its pillowed casing. "Great. Let's go see what's over there, yeah?" Ron says, pointing to the section of the store with earrings. He herds Hermione over, ignoring the shop keeper.

He'd need to tell Harry about the feather.

"Are you going to buy it?" Hermione asks, smiling at him.

"What? No, why?"

Hermione sighs.

Hermione's day was absolutely terrible.

First, she woke up late, and rushed down to the Ministry to be on time for the meeting between Unspeakables about the next project. She didn't manage to eat anything for breakfast. Then she wasn't able to eat lunch until after noon, and even then it had only been a muffin.

Aside from that, her supervisor didn't trust her with time-turners despite Hermione telling her she had experience with them, and insisted that Hermione set her sights upon a 'less difficult project.'

And then the Floo network had broken down just as Hermione was about to head home! She waited over half an hour for the network to be fixed before just heading outside and calling the Knight Bus.

She sighs, opening the door to Grimmauld Place. "Hello?" Hermione calls. No one answers.

Hermione groans and scrubs a hand through her hair, ruining the neat bun that she made this morning. She moves into the living room to put down her bags, and spots Harry sitting on the couch, hovering over a box as he bit his lip.

"Harry," she says.

Harry jumps up in surprise, slamming the lid of the box closed and shoving it under a pillow. "Oh! Hermione! Did you just come back from work? You must be tired, do you want a drink? You look like you could use a drink," he says hurriedly, and practically flies out of the room and into the kitchen.

Hermione raises an eyebrow. She reaches underneath the pillow and pulls out the box. She opens it.

"Oh," she says. It's the feather that Ron asked if she liked. Carefully, she closes the box and puts it back underneath the pillow.

She considers why Harry would have the feather, but she keeps remembering her conversation with Peter in the library.

For a moment she wonders if her life has become a soap opera, because her fiance just might be having an affair with his best friend behind her back.

"Hermione, could I ask you something?" Peter says. Once again they're in the library, and once again Hermione has a stack of books with her. This time, however, she's sitting down by one of the table instead of trying to tear his arms off.

"What is it?" Hermione asks sourly. Peter winces. She's been like that for a few days, and no one has figured out why.

"Would you happen to know where Harry's been sneaking off to?"

Hermione looks up from her book. "What do you mean?"

Peter fidgets where he stands. Standing next to her as she stays seated reminds him of his school days, which is a strange thing to think about considering the difference in their ages.

"Harry has been sneaking out of the house late at night, see. I thought since you're his best friend you might know." He pauses, considering what else to say. "I'm not trying to be nosy," he tells her. "I, uh, just want to do a good job about being his guardian?"

Thankfully, Hermione is too distracted to notice the questioning tone. "Ron's been out late as well," she says mournfully.

She narrows her eyes, then looks back at him. "Did Harry buy a hair ornament recently?"

"Uh, no?" Peter replies, confused. "He did buy this green feather, though. Very expensive looking."

Hermione deflates, sighing in relief. "Goodness, I thought that Ron bought Harry that."

"Oh," Peter says, considering. He checks behind him to see the library door firmly closed to keep out the loud noises from outside. He looks back at Hermione, who's distracted again by her book, and takes out his wand.

"Obliviate."

Hermione's eyes glaze over, then clear as Peter hastily puts away his wand. "Oh! I'm sorry, I spaced out. What were we talking about?"

"You asked me if Harry bought a hair ornament recently." Peter says. "And no, he didn't, but he got this green feather a friend. A gift, I think?"

Hermione deflates, sighing morosely.

Success, Peter thinks, and makes hasty excuses to leave the library before Hermione decided to enlist him in helping her put books back.

Hermione stares at Ron from across the hall. He's talking quietly to Harry, both of them holding alcoholic drinks in their hands as they bent their heads close together. She purses her lips tightly, then takes a big gulp from her own alcoholic drink.

Next to her, Cormac snaps his fingers to get her attention.

"The Ministry has done a fantastic job for this ball, haven't they?" Cormac says, gesturing daintily with his hand.

The hall is, indeed, beautiful. Hermione can't exactly remember what they're celebrating. The ball might have been held to impress the various international delegates that decided to come to Britain for some reason or other.

"Hermione? Is something on your mind?" Cormac says. He sounds slightly concerned, which is a first for him. The look on his face might be one of worry, but it's so unpracticed that it looks like he's swallowed a lemon.

"I think my fiance is gay," Hermione blurts into his face. She blinks down at her cocktail. She can't remember how many she's had.

"Oh." Cormac says. "Have you, ah, talked to him about it? Forcing yourself to stay in a relationship that isn't going anywhere isn't good for you." He waves his hand in Ron's general direction.

Hermione blinks. "You're right," she says. "I should confront him right now." She shoves her drink into his hand. "Hold this."

"I'll be here if you need someone to talk to!" Cormac calls after her as she marches off to Ron, who's alone.

"Polyamory comes from the Greek word poly, meaning many, and the Latin word amor for love." Hermione announces to Ron as soon as she's in hearing range.

Ron gives her a confused look. "I - okay?"

"It's really quite doable. It just takes communication between all partners, hard work, and understanding," she continues. "Polyamorous relationships aren't recognised in the Magical or muggle worlds, but the Green Party's leader said that they're 'open to discussion' so there's hope that we could eventually have our relationship recognised by a government - "

"Who?" Ron says, utterly confused. "Party of what?"

"And really, I love you. I love you so much and if you're gay, that's okay, we could work it out, it's not like Harry's ugly. I just figured we're in a romantic relationship, but if you're attracted to Harry too - "

"Wait, wait, Hermione," Ron says, putting down his drink to put both hands on her shoulders. "You think I'm gay," he says. "With Harry."

She nods.

Ron squints at her. "You do know he's in love with Ginny, right?"

Hermione blinks. She looks over his shoulder to see Harry talking to Ginny as he held her hand. In Ginny's bun is the green feather she saw ago.

"Oh," she says.

Ron nods. "Oh," he echoes.