Author's Note- This is the sequel to Here We Go Again. So if you haven't read that you probably should because this might not make a lot of sense without reading Here We Go Again first, but hey it's your choice. Warning though Here We Go Again was my first story so it's not the best thing I've written, actually to be honest it's not very good at all (in my opinion at least), but it's in the process of being revised so it'll be improved hopefully.

For people who have already read the first story and are back for more I truly hope that you enjoy this! So please enjoy everyone and thanks for reading!

Oh and if the title reminds you of a Flyleaf song its not just a coincidence and if you want you can listen to the song while you read. It makes it a bit more fun! Anyway on with the story.

Fully Alive Sequel to Here We Go Again

Chapter One – Home Sweet Home

If there is one thing I've learned in my life it's that life isn't fair. The ones you truly deeply care about always leave you, but I'm not ready to let go. That's why I'm sitting in the back of a bus on my way to what used to be home. Three years have now passed sense our last goodbye. I take that back, his last goodbye. If it had been my choice he would have never gotten away. Although even after all the time, after all the long painful days, everything still looks and feels the same. It's an illusion I'm sure. Nothing lasts forever right?

They say I'm a survivor but why survive when your alone? I had to stay alive though not because I wanted to, not because I had to, but because I had to live for him. So I did, and now I have to know it was worth the fight.

I only left three days ago, but three days on a bus is stressful and lonely. Grandma didn't want me to go, told me it wasn't worth it, not after all the suffering.

"No Remy I wont allow it," she shook her head from the sink were she washed our evening dishes. We'd already been at it for an hour.

"But Grams I love him, you know that. I can't just let it end with goodbye. I'm fine now and everything will finally start looking up, just watch," I pleaded knowing she wasn't going to give in so easily.

"Your right everything will look up because you'll be here safe and sound."

I threw my head back in frustration, she didn't understand.

"Please Grams I'm not a kid anymore I have to make my own choices."

Grandpa sat across from me at the end of the table settled into his favorite spot where he read the sports section of the newspaper every night.

"If you really want to go Remy go. There's a hundred dollars in my jacket pocket that'll pay for a bus ride there," he said not looking up once from the paper.

"TOM NO," my Grandma hollered sternly.

"Let it go Mary."

"Oh thank you grandpa! Thank you so much!" I ran to him and hugged him tightly a smile plastered on my face.

Finally she caved and agreed that if i wanted to go sh couldn't stop me. She only had one condition. "Just always remember that you don't have to live in fear anymore. Live like nothing could go wrong. Your alive and breathing thats really all that matters and no matter where you go you'll always have someone here who loves you. Don't forget that." It's hard to believe something like that when it's first said. Of course I promised I wouldn't ever forget and I hugged her and grandpa goodbye. Tears in their eyes as the door shut behind me. Finally free, fully alive.

The bus pulled up to my stop. I sighed and trudged my way off the loud smelly bus. It all looked the same. Same convenience store on the corner, same tagged brick buildings, same school down the street, same basketball courts across the street, and snow lightly falling. All how I'd left it. Leaning against the nearest building I reached in my coat pocket and pulled out my cell phone. I hit number two and the call button. Thank god for speed dial. It rang once... twice... three times, the voice mail message greeted me. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not here right now please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible," came Grandma's perky sweet voice.

The tone sounded.

"Hey Grams it's Remy of course, just wanted to let you know I arrived safely in Detroit. I'll call you later with my situation. Love ya," I hung up and started walking towards home. It wasn't to far of a walk and I always found the snow comforting.

The closer I got the more the memories flooded back. The neighborhood did the most damage though. A group of kids playing street hockey just like we always did. Maybe if Bobby was around he'd want a pickup game. With my luck though he probably was a hundred miles away. Maybe Angel was home hanging out with Sofi while Evie made everyone sweets. Maybe just maybe Jack would be waiting with open arms just waiting to tease me, to hold me, to love me.

I was only a few feet away from the house. There wasn't a single car out on the curb or in the drive way but it was painfully exactly the same. Doubtful I pushed myself forward one slow step at a time.

I made it to the front door. Every bone in my body shaking, my stomach flip flopping with violent butterflies. I slowly lifted my fist and pounded on the door silently hoping no one answered. I waited trembling as the door clicked unlocked. It was pulled open and i gasped at the tall figure in front of me. He looked down at me through those deep eyes, his messy hair falling into his face and he glared.

"What do you want?" he snapped.

That deep voice I'd come to love wasn't full of the bliss I fondly remembered but instead raw frosty bitterness. It burned worse than acid being poured on to bare skin. It was the cruelest way to rip apart that little hope I had left. Word wouldn't come out of my open quivering mouth.

I knew I didn't look the same, surely he couldn't have become this empty, this shallow in the last three years. For gods sake it had only been three years.

"Hey I asked you a question," he spat. "What do you want?"

He had on that grey and black striped sweater with the skull on the right side. The one I adored and of course those black jeans that fit him so nicely. He crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes.

"Jackie... Jackie why... why are you being so mean?" I stuttered, my voice cracking, tears blurring my vision.

"What are you talking about... I don't even know you," he stated looking slightly taken aback by my sudden burst of emotion.

OH MY GOD, he didn't remember. This couldn't possibly be MY Jackie.

"How dare you be so awful to your best friend. After the way you left me alone and terrified. I swear to God Jack Mercer if this is the way you treat th people that care about you then you deserve to be miserable," I screamed turning on my heel and slipping on a patch of ice.

"Remy? ... Remy... I... I," he tried to speak behind me but I quickly got to my feet before he could get close to me.

I tried to run but a van had pulled up to the curb while I was at the door and Evelyn and Jeremiah were digging groceries out of the back when they heard my screams.

"Remy?" Evie questioned as the tears exploded and streamed down my face. She dropped her groceries and caught me in an embrace before I could run away. I wept in her arms my knees giving out form under me as my sobbing grew stronger.

"Shh baby shh it's going to be alright," she whispered rocking me in her arms.

Jack slowly shut the door as a retreated into the house putting up the first wall.