Disclaimer: I do NOT own rights to any of the characters from Glee. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
A/N: A big hello to all my faithful followers and again my apologies for being so scarce in recent months. I do have an excuse though. Puckurt is insidious. It gets inside you. Twists you up. You forget to shower, speak to your friends, go to work etc. I worked non-stop on two epic fics (plus random diversions) for close to six months without a break. I burned out. Now I'm back however, not writing as often as I used to or as prolifically but hopefully you'll forgive me that.
Anyways, this is just a new ficlet that I've worked on since the turn of the year. I have more available to publish if the response is favourable, I just wanted to test the waters as it were.
Season Two Spoilers abound in this story, you have been warned.
Laddies and Gentlefolk, I give you,
"Cuffed" by The Jellybaby Bandit
The Choir Room door swung shut with a soft click behind Kurt as he fled following his shock announcement, the assembled members of the Glee Club meanwhile had been stunned into silence.
"Kurt's leaving?", asked Brittany, the only one in the room not looking shell shocked, "... when will he be back?"
All eyes turned to examine the nonplussed blonde as Brittany twirled her hair and though she looked a little concerned, it was clear she did not comprehend Kurt's announcement and it's enormity.
"I think he's leaving forever...", muttered Santana, her usual snide tone missing and for once sounding like a human being.
Several seconds passed with each of the Gleeks just standing immobile, with none sure exactly how they should be reacting in their shock. The silence was pierced however by the most unlikely of sources.
"Like Hell he is..."
Head's snapped to attention and an entire room of incredulous stares tracked Puck as the jock stood and pushed his chair away with a squeak. Before anyone could react to try to stop him, the half-back had crossed the room and exited through the same door Kurt had just left by.
In their shock, nobody followed.
Kurt was struggling to maintain his composure as he emptied his locker. The soprano sniffled as he lifted out each individual object, pausing to appreciate how each had it's own memory attached. Biting his bottom lip to keep himself from breaking down entirely - Kurt couldn't afford to do that until he was safely ensconced in his room at home - the brunette realised that he was quite literally emptying his locker of his entire life.
'My whole school life in one bag... it's better that it's over though...'
Kurt carefully peeled the myriad of magazine clippings and photos of him and Mercedes from the inside of his locker door. There was no doubting that Kurt was going to miss being at McKinley, at least in some aspects. The soprano had established so many friendships here in recent years, he'd experienced new things and yes, he was going to miss it all.
It was difficult Kurt to imagine going to a school that didn't have Mercedes there to be his BFF, that didn't have Glee club, that didn't have Karofsky hounding his every waking moment.
But his Dad had been right. McKinley High - such as it was - just wasn't safe anymore and it was now beyond the point where Kurt could pretend otherwise. He'd spent months pretending otherwise.
Carefully sliding the precious mementos of days gone by into his satchel, Kurt picked up his geometry textbook. The soprano was just about to slip this too into his satchel as his ears pricked up at the sound of sneakers squeaking on the floor behind him. Kurt's shoulders tensed. He should have known better than to think he'd get out of the building without at least one tearful goodbye. Sometimes it sucked having such caring friends, it really did.
"Please 'cedes...", there was a world-weariness in Kurt's tone of voice as he kept his eyes focused on the back of his locker, afraid to face the girl, lest he lose what little control he maintained on his emotions, "... I know you want me to change my mind - but... but you have to just trust me that this is for the best."
"Bullshit"
Kurt squeaked in shock and pirouetted quickly, his geometry textbook spilling from his hands and crashing to the floor. The soprano stood slack-jawed as the spine of the book lost it's battle with the hard tile floor and the myriad of pages within spread themselves out over the width of the hallway.
Puck was angry.
The jock had no idea quite why he was angry - but he was and Puck tended to be ruled by his emotions - if he was hungry he ate, if he was horny he had sex, if he was angry he hit something or someone. Hey, nobody had ever said that Puck was a considered thinker.
Puck had watched Kurt's eyes as the soprano had made his shock announcement and what he saw just made him angry. Puck was a badass - had always been a badass - and yes it was true that nobody messed with Puckzilla unless they had a death wish. But the jock had always thought of Kurt Hummel, as much as he was loath to admit it, as someone even more badass than him.
Since Puck had first laid eyes on an ten-year old Kurt Hummel, the half-back had been in no doubt that the soprano was a hell of a lot tougher than he looked. The fashion-obsessed brunette had always been treated badly by everyone around him - boys, girls, teachers - and most especially by the jock himself much to his shame.
Since the pair had struck up their truce however, Puck had taken some time to consider exactly what it was about Hummel that made the jock want to victimise him. Puck didn't think it was because the smaller boy was gay - Puck's Uncle on his Mother's side was gay and he was a stand-up dude, despite his love of cock - nah, it wasn't the gay thing. And it wasn't Kurt's feminine persona or the way he wore fancy clothes and looked down his nose at ordinary people.
It had taken many countless hours of thought, but he'd finally hit the nail on the head. If pushed, Puck would have to say it was because no matter what had been thrown at Hummel, the brunette had always dusted himself down and carried on. It was the sense of this unbreakable dignity with which Hummel carried himself that made Puck sit up and take notice, and by extension was what painted a giant target on the soprano's back for those who wished him ill will.
And now - now he was what? Suddenly afraid to continue on in the same way he had been for years. Something stank about the whole deal and it was that, that rankled with Puck. Karofsky was a big guy certainly but he was a pussy really when you compared his best to all of the shit that Kurt had been through. If Kurt could take the best that Puckzilla could dish out and keep on going with his head held high, then there was just no way in hell that Karofsky could do any worse.
"Uh - Puck...", stammered the soprano as he crouched down and began to scoop up handfuls of his papers and began to stack them into a pile, "... w-what do you want?"
Crouching down beside Kurt, the jock began to help the smaller boy to gather up his papers, noting clearly the look of surprise on Kurt's face at the unusually charitable gesture.
"What?...", snapped Puck suddenly feeling self-conscious at being examined so closely by the smaller boy, "... I'm supposed to just watch you struggle to pick them all up by yourself? I may be a badass but I'm not an asshole... most of the time..."
Puck watched as Kurt at first seemed to be scared of the jock before with his final pronouncement the soprano relaxed some. That didn't mean that Puck's anger at the brunette was lessened any though, the jock still intended to give Kurt both barrels for being such a pussy.
"Thank you..."
Puck however was not listening as his eyes had drifted to something which must have been piled on top of the textbook and which had clearly fallen at Kurt's feet.
'Now that's a surprise...'
Picking the item up, Puck swung it around on his index finger, the shiny metal drawing Kurt's eye to it in an instant. The jock smirked as he saw Kurt pale dramatically before his blush then overtook him a moment later.
"Why Hummel...", drawled Puck unable to keep the amused smile off of his face, "... handcuffs? And pink fuzzy handcuffs at that... I didn't think you had it in you, you're more like me than I first thought..."
Kurt could feel the heat radiating from his face as he stared in horror at the handcuffs in Puck's hands. They had been a gag gift from 'cedes at Christmas, and rather than take them home and risk his Dad finding them and getting the wrong idea, Kurt had stored them in his locker - on top of his Geometry book it appeared.
"Uh...", words failed the soprano as he tried to find some way to justify his ownership of such a provocative item- present from 'cedes or not they were completely out of the soprano's comfort zone.
"I have to say, I didn't figure you for the kinky type Hummel...", grinned Puck as he continued to spin the cuffs on the end of his finger, "... Hell you've probably never even kissed a guy have ya..."
Despite his embarrassment, Kurt could feel his ire rising at the jock's taunting, the soprano's nerves were already frayed and the half-back was not making things any easier. Before the soprano could get a proper hold on himself, his mouth was open and sounds had issued forth - sounds that Kurt wished had been nonsensical come the end of his sentence a moment later,
"I have too..."
'Oh no...'
Kurt ducked his head while Puck raised a single eyebrow in surprise at the vehement response and his grin turned predatory.
"Been sleeping around on me Hummel? So who's the lucky chick, I mean guy-chick or whatever..."
Kurt rolled his eyes at the Neanderthal jock and snatched back the rest of his notes from the jock's hand, stuffing them angrily into his satchel. The brunette had too much on his plate right now to add Puck harassing him into the mix. Kurt felt like he was paper thin at that moment and that just one more knock would lead to his tearing into itty-bitty pieces.
"Screw you Puck...", spat the soprano closing his satchel and standing back up once again.
"You couldn't handle it Hummel...", said the jock seemingly nonplussed about the almost instantaneous switch in the dynamic of the conversation between teasing and hostility.
Kurt scoffed at the jock and wrinkled his nose in disgust at the image his mind just offered him- an image that the soprano could have done without,
"I wouldn't want to 'handle it' - there's no telling what I might catch. Now leave me the Hell alone."
Kurt angrily hitched his satchel up onto his shoulder and slammed his locker door shut with a loud clang.
'Just walk out Kurt... things will get better as soon as you do...'
The soprano shouldered past Puck, ignoring the pain that flared in his shoulder as the half-back was apparently made out of granite. Kurt was about to stride away when he felt something snap around his wrist with a loud 'click' that echoed in the empty hallway.
'What the Hell?'
Looking down at his right wrist, Kurt's jaw dropped in shock which was quickly followed by anger.
Turning to level his best glare at the jock, Kurt's eyes widened in horror to see Puck slipping the other end of the handcuffs around his own wrist.
"I'm not letting you slink out of here like a pussy..", said the jock snapping the cuff shut with a loud click and glaring at the smaller boy in apparent invitation for him to try to defy him.
Kurt saw red. Months of pent up anger and pain and humiliation came bubbling to the surface as the brunette allowed Puck to see just a fraction of the wrath he could inflict should he wish.
"What the Hell is your problem? Are you mentally deficient? Did your Mother drink during her pregnancy? Did she drop you on your head as a baby? You complete utter mohawked simpleton..."
Puck had figured Hummel would be shocked sure, and angry that was a given, but the jock was truly surprised at the sheer level of the soprano's guttural rage. It was symptomatic of just how much Hummel wasn't acting like, well Hummel.
"Calm down Hummel...", said Puck smirking at the boy though he knew it would probably only make things worse, "... as soon as you agree to stay at McKinley I'll unlock you."
Puck's wrist was pulled away from his side and up towards his chest as Kurt tried to smack him with his own trapped hand, only the half-back's superior arm strength prevented that from coming to pass.
"You complete moron...", the fire that the jock had ignited in Kurt's belly was clearly still thriving, "... there are no keys for those cuffs..."
Puck paused.
'No keys?... Crap...'
The jock was unable to form a substantive response however as Kurt was still launching upon a tirade,
"And another thing, in case you haven't noticed, where I go and why is none of your business. I'm not slinking anywhere, I'm transferring. It happens all the time! I don't remember you handcuffing yourself to Matt when he left!"
Puck shook his head as he took a shot back at the soprano, it was about time Hummel realised he wasn't going to get things all his own way. It pleased the jock in a way to see that the fire in the smaller boy hadn't been extinguished completely though, passion had always been one of the brunette's best features.
'What the Hell was that about Puck? You're thinking like a chick... Focus for God's sake...'
"You aren't transferring, you're running away. And Matt was a douche and I was glad to see him go. You however, I don't mind so much.. and watch your tongue Hummel - even one handed I can still pound your face..."
"Way to win me over Puck, threaten to hit me...and you wonder why I'm leaving...", snapped Kurt as he rolled his eyes and glared at the half-back.
Puck sighed and moved to run his hand through his mohawk, only to realise he couldn't as he was - well attached to Hummel.
'This has gotten way out of hand... how the hell did this end up so out of hand?...'
The jock had no idea why he'd handcuffed himself to Hummel. The soprano had been making to walk away, the jock wasn't finished with him yet and the cuffs were in his hand. No that wasn't true, Puck did know why he'd handcuffed himself to Hummel, he'd thought there were keys and that if things went south, as judging from the irate expression on Kurt's face they clearly had, that he'd be able to walk away.
And now, dammit there weren't any keys and nothing short of a hacksaw was going to break the cuffs and Hummel was angry and damn if the boy wasn't scary when he was angry.
Not that Puck would admit that to anyone of course.
Kurt was at a loss for what to do. The brunette had been all set to leave McKinley High forever. He'd said his goodbyes, he'd picked up his transcripts and he'd emptied his locker. All that was left was to walk to the end of the hallway and out through the large double doors.
And yet, now the soprano found himself standing in a deserted hallway with Noah Puckerman of all people, handcuffed to him and with no immediate way of getting away.
The anger which had been powering the soprano bled away as his exhaustion with life again took it's toll. It was all just too much to deal with and despite Blaine's 'Courage' texts, Kurt just wanted it all to be over already.
"Please Puck...", said Kurt as his shoulders slumped in defeat, "... just lets find a way out of these cuffs, I can leave you and you can go back to fucking whatever geriatric you have on speed-dial this week - please?"
Puck watched in silence as Kurt seemed to shrink in on himself as the despair grabbed hold. It wasn't like the jock to consider being compassionate and under any other circumstances Puck would have smacked Kurt down for his slanderous statement - he did not fuck geriatrics - well not recently.
But, none of this was what the half-back had intended, Puck had wanted to offer to help Kurt and to convince him to give McKinley another chance, not to drive him even further away.
'Dammit Puckerman you're screwing this up...'
Puck would maintain to his dying day that he wanted Kurt to stay because Glee club needed him. The truth was though, it just wouldn't be the same without Kurt at McKinley, with his prissy attitude and his pretty clothes. Puck would actually miss the soprano if he were to leave.
But as much as Puck might have wanted to help Kurt, he couldn't look this gift horse in the mouth. Here he was, on a Friday afternoon, with Kurt Hummel literally unable to get away from him. If he could just persuade him...
"I'll make you a deal Hummel..."
Kurt looked up from where he'd been studying the cracks in the floor tiles to meet the jock's eyes.
"A deal?", Kurt's voice was tired and the sigh the soprano released was full of despondency.
"It's Friday and you what - start at your new school on Monday?...", said Puck, quickly running through the hastily constructed plan in his head looking for flaws.
"Tuesday morning actually...", replied Kurt softly, clearly beyond the point of caring anymore what happened.
Puck nodded in response as he worded his entreaty,
"Alright... you give me til Monday night to convince you not to leave McKinley. If I can't do it, then we'll go get the cuffs cut and you can go join your boyband boyfriend at Gayton..."
"Dalton...", corrected Kurt automatically before he caught on to the fact that he was being teased, by Puck, it was a strange feeling.
Under any other circumstances, Puck would have crossed his arms at that point and looked smug - his plan was actually pretty good. The jock was almost certain that 48 hours in the company of Puckzilla would be more than enough to convince Kurt not to leave for Gayton.
And if it wasn't well, screw Hummel and the horse he rode...
'Heh...', the jock chuckled at his own wordplay recalling that internet video he'd seen once with the guy and the horse. Now that had been disgusting.
'Funny though...'
Kurt's initial reaction was, well frankly it was to break down in tears, but the soprano really didn't want to do that in front of Puck of all people.
Kurt's second reaction was to shout and scream at Puck and call him more names. But he was just so tired and it really wouldn't serve any purpose other than to make the brunette feel better in the short term.
Could he do it? Could he really spend an entire weekend shackled to Noah Puckerman? It helped somewhat that his Dad and Carole had left that morning for Maine, on a mini-honeymoon, the bulk of their savings having gone to Dalton to enrol him.
Finn thankfully was also not going to be around that weekend. What with the parents out of town, the Quarterback had stated that morning that he'd be staying with Rachel and not to expect to see him until Monday at school.
'Guess that won't happen now either...'
Kurt's musings were brought short by Puck's impatient snort.
'I can do it... if only to make him give up...'
"I have some conditions...", said Kurt meeting Puck's gaze steadily.
"Name them dude...", replied Puck his expression one of surprise.
It was in that moment that Kurt realised that Puck had not expected that he'd say yes. Or that he'd even consider it.
Truth be told Kurt himself didn't know why he was considering it.
'Does a part of me want to be convinced to stay?'
"One: Don't call me 'dude' this sure as Hell isn't The Big Lebowski - if we're going to be shackled together for the weekend, then I'm Kurt and you're Noah."
Though the jock clearly looked unhappy at the thought, after a few seconds the jock capitulated with a terse nod,
"Done. What else?"
"I'm in charge...", said Kurt with an edge to his voice letting the jock know that the point was not up for debate as Puck opened his mouth to protest, "... You shackled yourself to me, therefore my schedule for this weekend overrides yours. What I say goes."
"Done...", said Puck though this time through somewhat gritted teeth, "... what else?"
"No being, well - you...", said Kurt finding himself incapable of explaining any more succinctly, "... no belching, breaking wind or general other gross misconduct."
Though Puck clearly looked offended at the soprano's rather harsh estimation of him, the jock nodded once again,
"Done."
Kurt nodded seemingly pleased to have at least asserted some control over the situation.
"Alright then."
Not for the first time, Humm - Kurt's - reaction had surprised Puck. The jock had expected Kurt to hit him, to scream at him and to demand that they went immediately to find a hacksaw to separate them.
True, Puck had no plans for the weekend so being attached to the smaller boy wouldn't exactly be a problem in that sense, but the jock had never for a second imagined that Kurt would actually consent.
'Now what happens?...'
And that was the big problem. Puck's plan had sort of - well - run out at the whole 'handcuffed til Monday' bit. The jock hadn't a clue exactly how he was supposed to convince Kurt to stay at McKinley.
'You've done it now Puckerman...'
"OK... let's go home I guess...", sighed Kurt heaving his overloaded satchel onto his shoulder wincing as the strap bit into his flesh.
Turning to head in the direction of the parking lot, the brunette was shocked when his satchel was lifted from his shoulder.
"Puck - I mean Noah - what?...", asked the brunette as he watched the jock slip the strap over his own shoulder with ease.
"Shut up and walk Kurt..."
A/N: Well there you go. This is just a fun little ficlet that I've had running around in my head since early January, I have 15k written thus far and I don't see the story in it's entirety being more than 30k. It's taken a little while to get things down on paper but I'm having fun with it. Please let me know if you like the story and if you'd like to read anymore. Or if you have a suggestion for a fic, I'm happy to adopt bunnies.
PLEASE REVIEW, EVERYTIME YOU REVIEW A FAIRY COMES TO LIFE, IT'S MAGIC! XD