.

She missed him.

She missed him a lot.

She was always worried about Bellamy. She knew that if he got hurt in Mt. Weather that she would never be able to forgive herself. She would hate herself. She would hate everyone. Her Mother, Lexa, Octavia, Raven, Lincoln, Finn, and everyone else she cared about. She would hate life itself. She knew she was the only one to blame for sending Bellamy to Mt. Weather to save the rest of the 100. "Love is weakness" Lexa's words played over and over again in her head. If only she now understood that love wasn't weakness. That love had the power to make you stronger or weaker; it is you who decides its effect.

"Stop it Clarke," She thought, she knew she was just making herself feel even worse. So she pushed those thoughts of hate and weakness out of her head, even the thoughts of Bellamy.

Clarke was sitting by the fire nervously, waiting for the signal from Raven that Bellamy disabled the Acid fog so they could go to war with the people at Mt. Weather and get her friends back. She kept eyeing Octavia, Bellamy's sister, keeping a close watch on her since the commander of the grounders, Lexa, tried to have one of her warriors kill Octavia for knowing their secret. That horrible secret was tearing Clarke apart, from the inside out. She let hundreds of people die, deaths she could have stopped, lives she could have saved. She knew that missile was coming, she could have warned everyone about it, but instead she left the village, knowing that if everyone knew about the missile that the sniper would know that they had an inside man.

She did it for Bellamy.

Then Octavia stood up and gave Clarke a bitter glance before she walked off.

What would have happened if Octavia was killed? What would Clarke say to Bellamy? He would hate that she let that happen, to his little sister. But there was so much more, Clarke loved Octavia, she was like a sister more than anything.

Clarke letting her thoughts grab a hold of her again shot to her feet and started darting toward Commander Lexa's tent with great speed. She didn't even dare Knock, She just let herself in. She had to have peace that Octavia wouldn't be killed.

"You need to trust me!" Clarke spat, the second she was in the tent. It wasn't too much of a cruel tone but bitter enough to get her point across.

"I do trust you Clarke." There was no expression in Lexa's words, there was also no surprise. Clarke was a little taken back, that was not what she was expecting to hear, but Lexa wasn't finished.

"You think our ways are harsh, but… We do what need to survive." Lexa was trying to stand tall but Clarke didn't think she was 100% convinced with her own words. Clarke almost rolled her eyes, "But there is so much more to life then surviving! Don't we deserve to be happy, to feel happy?" Clarke almost sounded like she was pleading. Maybe at this point she was, Lexa was only about 16 not much younger then Clarke and running thousands of grounders. But that's not what Clarke had pity on, it was the fact she had stopped loving and caring. She just stopped feeling.

"Yes maybe we do" Lexa whispered, Clarke could barely hear it. She did a double take. Was Lexa agreeing!? Was she agreeing with Clarke that it was ok to feel? Clarke couldn't help feeling a little proud maybe the girl would let herself feel again, maybe-

Before Clarke could finish the thought there was a hand on her neck and soft lips on hers. Clarke had no idea what she was doing! She was kissing back and she didn't even know why! She was only attracted to Bellamy, and that's all. Lexa is nice but-

Bellamy

Clarke pulled back, "Lexa I'm sorry I just-", Clarke was cut off with Lexa's words,

"You love him", was all Lexa said. She didn't have to say who, Clarke already knew. She thought about it. Was she? She knew she was. She needed to stop denying it. All those looks, all the smirks, all of those arm brushes, and all of those worries. She loves Bellamy Blake; it is a simple as that. She looked up only to see a smile on Lexa's lips.
"What?" Clarke asked smiling too. She tried to keep the giggle trapped in her throat.

"I knew it, and I wanted you to admit it to yourself, and this was the way to do it, oh and you're not a bad kisser Clarke", they both started laughing at that, they had a unique connection, they had both suffered and where both leaders at a young age.

Of course when they started loosening up and laughing, something happened. It just couldn't last could it?

"COMMANDER! CLARKE! COME LOOK!" People where shouting their names, and some people where just shouting. They raced outside and looked up. The signal.

People started lighting the torches, Lexa and Clarke stood at the edge of the cliff looking at all of the grounders beneath them ready for battle. "THIS IS WAR!" Screamed Lexa and then everyone was screaming, even Clarke. She was ready to get Bellamy back.

She needed to get Bellamy back.

Before she knew it she was running towards Mt. Weather with the grounders and the soldiers from the Ark. They were banging and prying at the door until it finally came off of its hinges. They were in. Everyone went charging.

Find Bellamy

Find Bellamy

That's all that was on Clarke's mind, plus don't get killed, and get all of the rest of the 100 out alive.

Once she barged in and went up the stairs to the main halls she saw jasper, then fox, then Miller. All of them where popping into the hallway one at a time. She screamed to the grounders behind her to clear out except for five and go to the other halls and to only kill soldiers, reapers, and the government. Once some of the grounders where gone everyone started to run to Clarke she was so relieved, most of them seemed to be there except for around 10. Wait.

"Where's Bellamy?" jasper was the first to answer, "He said he was on the 5th floor he should be coming back from disabling the acid fog."

Clarke nodded, and then looked at the five grounders. "Get them to the Ocean, don't stop, and don't wait for me." They gave a slight nod and started to gather the 100.

Everyone started to leave except for four. Jasper, Monty, Harper, and Miller. "We aren't going anywhere." Jasper was tense, and they all agreed. Except for Clarke.

"Those kids out there they need you!" Clarke exclaimed, trying not to beg. There was still a grounder waiting for the other kids. "They need you Clarke!" Miller had a harsh tone as if he wasn't taking no for an answer.

She shrugged and hugged them each, she had a bad feeling she wasn't going to get out of this; chaos was starting to break loose. But at least she would die with Bellamy; he had to know she loved him. But right now she had to get herself together, "Jasper and Miller, you will take over if me and Bellamy don't make it out, Harper you will too but I'm gonna need you and Monty in Medical, work together. Nothing goes if two of you don't agree. Do you understand!?"Clarke was pretty much shouting now.

"Clarke-"

"I SAID do you understand!?", Now she was shouting they had to leave and she had to find Bellamy. They all nodded before she pushed them towards the grounder and they left the floor.

"Ok Clarke get your shit together and find Bellamy", she wasn't even sure if she said the words out lout or just thought them. She took out her gun and glided her fingers over the other magazine and knifes in her belt and started to jog up the stairs.

There was chaos everywhere people being killed left and right, but she also saw kids and adults being escorted down the stairs and out of the building. Good. But she wouldn't get to Bellamy quick enough; the fifth floor was supposed to be under lockdown. She took out her map and started running up the stairs and then she reached the 4th floor. She looked at what was going on and then she saw him limping and holding himself against the wall.

Bellamy! She found him! He is alive!

Then he looked up and saw her and a faint smile crossed his lips and she started to run to his side.