Summary: Danny has to stay for two months with Vlad. After the first week, Vlad hasn't been doing any evil schemes lately, boring Danny to death. Tucker sends him a list of what we are all familiar with…
Disclaimer: If I owned Danny Phantom, I would be working on the next episode, not making fanfictions. Nor do I own the original list of "52 ways to annoy Vlad".
A/N: For various reasons, I had to edit this. I wasn't too happy with my horrible punctuation and spelling issues.
"Danny!" Mom called from downstairs. For the first time in forever, I actually got up from bed and stretched without having to fight the feeling of sleepiness. No ghosts were out last night, so I gladly headed down the steps feeling refreshed. As I descended lower, I noticed suitcases near the door. Were we going somewhere? I spotted Mom in the kitchen.
"Mom? What's all this for?" I asked, pointing to the suitcases. Mom finished the dishes and turned to me. No ghosts last night, suitcases at the door and Mom washing dishes? To an average person, this would seem perfectly fine, but this was completely out of the norm.
"Good morning, Sweetie!" she greeted. "Your Father, Jazz and I are going to go on a road trip to a Ghost hunter's convention up in Michigan, so we decided to finish up packing."
There was a slight pause. When had they planned this? It would have been nice to know that we were going on a vacation.
"Wait…" I commented. I just realized something. "Am I not coming with your guys? No one said anything to me about it..."
I blinked. Coming to the thought, leaving me alone in the house would finally give me some time to catch up on my homework.
And everyone needs at least one day away from 'I'm going to tear you a part, molecule by molecule!' at some point too.
Mom hugged me in response. "Of course you're coming," she stated, making my hopes of a peaceful weekend drop. "But−"
Jazz walked into the room, causing me to turn my attention to her. Mom waved a hand in front of my face and I swiveled around.
"Honestly, Danny." She sighed, putting her hands on her hips. "With you easily distracted like this, leaving your Uncle Vlad doesn't sound like a bad idea after all."
A pause. "WHAT?"
The end of the world seemed faster than expected. I gaped at my mother. Jazz was just as frozen in shock as I was.
Mom sighed even louder. "I know we all think he's a creep," she admitted. "But his house is the only one that's close enough to the convention and well…"
I was not going to stand for this.
"I'm 14, Mom!" I argued. Why in the name of Clockwork was she thinking? Not only did she dislike him, but the guy was practically obsessed with her. I can handle being alone in the house without destroying anything…at a maximum of three hours. "I can take care of myself!"
"I'm sorry sweetie, but we have no choice." she apologized. "I don't think you're ready enough to hunt ghosts yet."
I'm Danny Phantom, for crying out loud! "But-"
Jazz instantly came up from behind and covered my mouth before I had a chance to finish. It took me some time before I understood that she just saved me and I calmed down. Jazz gave me a look and removed her hand.
"What was that, Danny?" Mom said, obviously confused.
"Never mind."
I turned to Jazz gave her an glare. "Why didn't you tell me about Vlad?" I hissed at her. Jazz put her hands up defensively.
"Don't look at me!" she complained. "Mom never told me where we were leaving you at! There are five hundred trillion people in the world, Danny. How was I supposed to know that it was with Vlad?"
She turned around and picked up a brochure labeled "Ghost Hunter's convention" to avoid my glare.
"This brochure has everything!" she exclaimed to Mom, trying to change the subject. "It has the newest ghost hunting equipment in the market, including more destructive power sources like ectoranium and−" My brain shut down as I looked back at Mom (who was struggling to wash the dishes) with fear in my eyes.
"How long will you guys be gone?" My voice cracked. Mom looked at the calendar.
"About two months, at the least." She said, counting the days with her finger. "Jack decided to go along with running our own stand as well."
My heart nearly stopped. And I'm a ghost.
"Stuck with Vlad? For two months?" I shrieked out loud. I ran a hand through my hair as Mom was about to make, yet, another excuse to stay with my 'Uncle' Vlad, but Dad appeared in the room. He was in a lab coat on top of his orange jumpsuit and was carrying two suitcases in his arms.
"Are we gonna sit all day, or are we going on a road trip?" he asked us excitedly. I silently groaned.
Mom clapped her hands. "Alright! Let's go!" she said in the exact same tone as Dad, forgetting the question I asked earlier. Great.
"Hold on, Mom. I forgot something upstairs." I improvised, running up the stairway.
"Okay, but be quick or we'll leave you."
I rolled my eyes and dug out my cell phone in my pocket as I went up and texted a quick message Sam and Tucker, explaining about the worst Fenton family discussion ever.
Hey guys. Cancel the movie this Friday. I'm gonna be gone for two months. Mom, Dad & Jazz are gonna go to Michigan while I'm stuck with Vlad.
I heard Dad honk the horn outside, rushing me. There go the last few seconds of my cell phone reception in Amity Park. Once I leave, I wouldn't be able to call anyone until I get back. The isolation of Vlad's mansion seemed to always be a bad thing.
I slid on the rail of the stairs and grabbed my suitcase. on the way out the door. Mom met me at the RV and put the suitcase in the back as I hoped in with Jazz, who was still reading that dumb brochure.
I couldn't hold my anger anymore.
"I'm not going to a ghost hunter's convention with my ghost hunting parents, when I'm one of Amity's BEST ghost hunters." I spat. "But oh! I'll be going to Vlad's. For two months. Just because I'm 'not ready'."
Jazz finally looked up from reading the brochure.
"You'll be fine." she teased. "You're 14. You can take care of yourself, right?"
I crossed my arms and pouted. If Jazz wasn't such a fink, then I would have laughed with her.
"If you were me, you'd wish you were anywhere but with the fruitloop." I grumbled. Jazz rolled her eyes.
"Whatever. If you can protect Amity Park on a daily basis, then you'll survive."
My cell phone vibrated, stopping our conversation. I pulled it out and checked the message. It was from Tucker.
WHAT? TWO MONTHS? Are you sure you're gonna be ok?
I texted back to him:
I think so. I'll make sure that Vladkeeps his portal open in his lab, so I can get home if things get too rough, or if I need anything from you and Sam.
"Danny. We're at Vlad's" Jazz said, shaking me awake. I moaned, not because of wanting to sleep more, but for the trip to be longer. Now I really wished I had slept late last night. The dream I had of me being the astronaut was shattered the moment Dad opened the front door.
Ding Dong! Welcome to the worst day of your life!
"Maddie!" Vlad exclaimed while giving a small mutter at us. "…Jack…Jasmine…Daniel..."
I bared my teeth at him. He ignored me.
"You've finally arrived! I've been waiting." Vlad said as he swung the door open wider. He gestured us in, not looking my Dad who was waving at him from the RV. I retreated back to the van and heaved my suitcase into his mansion. Dad stayed out and set down the rest of the luggage, much to Vlad's enjoyment, while Mom was trying her hardest to keep a straight face. Couldn't really blame her for trying.
"So we'll leave Danny with you then?" Mom said after she had the courage to speak a word. Vlad raised an eyebrow at me and I narrowed my eyes, sending him a mental message: Don't you dare say 'yes'.
"Yes," he answered plainly. "Well, I hope you have a safe trip. Daniel will be safe with me. Are you sure you wouldn't care to stay a bit-?"
"Alright! Bye, Danny!" she said hastily as she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and backed off towards the door. The door closed.
"Looks like you creeped her out." I laughed after a few moments of silence. He didn't respond. That was new.
"Hey fruitloop." I asked, waving a hand in front of his face. "You alive?"
He blinked once and looked at me.
"Mom isn't the only person in the world who is beautiful, you know." I stated. "Out of experience, there are many pretty girls in the world to choose from."
"Why would I take advice from a teenager?" Vlad questioned boredly. "You can hardly get a date yourself, my boy."
I grit my teeth. What a loser.
"I'd appreciate it if you'd stop talking for now." he announced as he made his way to the door. I stared at him in confusion as he did so. Was that it?
"Is this another one of your plans to make me your son?" I blurted out. "Because if it is, I'm not buying it."
Vlad paused before exiting the door but did not meet my eyes.
"I'm doing this as a favor to you mother." He answered. "I have no intention to do anything to you…whatsoever. There's a guest room up on the second floor. I'm sure you remember where it is from your last visit?"
"Yeah. I remember my family's stay here very clearly, thank you very much." I muttered as I changed into Danny Phantom and carried my bags upstairs. What was up with him?
I sat in my room doing my homework, bored. Vlad really hasn't been doing anything lately, in which I hate to admit he was right. He's never did, or even tried, to do anything sinister for the most part. I see him either in the library, reading or on his desk or working.
An old idea lit up in my brain of cobwebs. Putting away my text books, I jumped off the bed and walked out of the room. Down the hall was another room with a snazzy computer that I'm not even sure Vlad uses anymore. Trying it out for the first time, I logged into my Doom 2.0 account once I arrived and luckily, both Sam and Tucker were on too. It's been a while since we actually "talked".
Ghostboy: Heyy guys. What's up?
Chaos: Danny? I thought you were at Vlad's?
Ghostboy: I am.I wanted to ask you guys if you had any ideas for 'fun'. I hate to admit it, but I am a bit clueless at the moment.
FryerTuck: I KNEW IT!
I ignored Tucker's comment.
Chaos: Vlad? Not doing anything toyou? Forthis entire week?
Ghostboy: Yeah.
FryerTuck: Wow man. That's kinda unlike him.
Chaos: What's he been doing, Danny?
Ghostboy: Reading and paperwork...nothing. As I said.
Chaos: Weird.
FryerTuck: I'm not sure what todo, dude. Srry. You are officially DOOMED (Pun intended)
Chaos: Shut it, Tuck.
No one typed anything for a while as we continued on with the game. That was until Tucker said something.
FryerTuck: I HAVE AN AWESOME IDEA!
Chaos: Oh. Good. When do you NOT have something to say?
Ghostboy: What is it? Another piece of technology that has a cupholder?
FryerTuck: Very funny guys. Here, I'll send you guys the document. Check your emails.
I checked it out. Though I didn't bother to read it yet, I printed it out for later.
Chaos: I'd hate to admit it, but Tuck, you'rea genius.
FryerTuck: I know I know. My greatness will one day get the ladies. One day.
Chaos: When pigs fly.
FryerTuck: Hey! I thought you were a vegetarian!
I grabbed the paper from the printer and scanned the page, ignoring their babbling. A grin crept on my face as I read the list.
"52 ways to annoy Vlad, huh? Interesting…"
(A/N:Yes, this is the same as the "copy and paste" one on my profile)
52 WAYS TO ANNOY VLAD
1. Every time he begins an evil laugh, hum "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands"
2. Constantly perform ancient rituals in his library, when he asks what's going on, you tell him that you were trying to get rid of "Evil spirits" and give him a reproving glare.
3. Hide cardboard cut-outs of Danny in his closet.
4. Randomly sign him up for boy scouts.
5. Criticize him for his vampire fangs
6. Walk around in a sheet and scream "OOOOoooo!"
7. Constantly give him new cosmetics to get ride of his "blue complexion"
8. Call him "the Vladstier" or "V man".
9. Make his cell phone ring tone The DP theme
10. Every time he switches to ghost mode, scream out "Oh are you gonna go ghost? Oh say it! Go ghost!"
11. Remind him to get a cat.
12. Ask him why he doesn't have a theme song.
13. Because he doesn't have a theme song, you write your own, and they are entitled "This is the Dawning of the Age of Plasmius," "Twinkle, Twinkle little Vlad," and "Vlad Will Survive"
14. Poke him in the stomach... HARD. When he asks you you're reason for doing this, you tell him that you were trying to make him "go ghost".
15. Beg him to take you to Disney World so you can meet Mickey Mouse.
16. Get Edna Mode to come in and criticize him about his cape, and then have her redesign a costume for him.
17. Tell him he needs a "really keen emblem just like Danny Phantom's." Force him to wear one that says "VP"
18. Ask him to duplicate himself so you can play hide and seek.
19. Ask him to duplicate himself so you can play Marco Polo.
20. Bug him about his evil plots. To no end. (Particularly the one involving the Fright Knight, the Crown of Fire, and the Fenton Ecto-Suit...)
21. Find out when his birthday is and anonymously send him a cat. Make sure he never finds out it was you.
22. Rub it in that Danny is the future ruler.
23. Force him to go ghost and give you a piggy back ride or you'll shove him in your thermos.
24. Put a ghost alarm in his house so whenever he walks in a really loud annoying alarm comes on.
25. Go in his house and wander around the halls and when he asks what you're doing say "going ghost!" and then pretend to fly away.
26. Completely make over his green and gold Packers color scheme.
27. Rent a room in his castle to the Box Ghost. Rent another room to Klemper.
28. Claim You bought the Green Bay Packers. Say you wore the city down to make them sell.
29. Constantly ask him why he shoots pink beams.
30. Get Sam and Tucker to follow him around the castle and "bother" him, Potter Puppet Pals style.
31. Hire the same idiots Vlad hired in Million Dollar Ghost and anonymously put a bounty on his head.
32. Record an answering machine message on his answering machine saying:
a) "Hello, you have reached the idiot ghost who believes he will rule the world. He's a little delusional right now, while coming up with his next evil scheme. Leave a message after the beep!"
or:
b) "Hello, you've reached Vlad Plasmius. He is not here right now, because he is currently occupied curling his ghostly hair and searching for his lost blankie. Leave a message after the beep!"
33. Get him a parrot and have it lecture him on proper villain lingo. Namely: "No cookie expletives!"
34. Call him a "seriously crazed-up fruit loop"
35. Ask him to help you with the scrapbook your making that depicts all of his greatest failures.
36. Give him a battle cry and bug him constantly until he says it, then squeal.
37. Put his costume in the washer along with the brightest red sock with the cheapest dye job you can find. Blame it on Youngblood when he finds out.
38. Doodle on his Ray Nitschke football.
39. Steal Danny's Thermos, and use it as a Time-out device.
40. Make his castle a pretty pink princess one.
41. Cut off his ponytail.
42. Replace his cape with a bed sheet that has:
a) Hello Kitty
b)Disney Princesses
c) The Mickey Mouse Head
d)The Nick Logo (The one at the bottom right of the screen)
e) Danny's Face
f) Cheese
43. Send him multiple invitations to the Box Ghost and the Lunch Lady's wedding.
44. Ask him a dumb question like this... "In The Ultimate Enemy, when you told Danny somethings are better left unsaid and we see that the Evil Danny kills DannyFenton...is that considered a murder or suicide?"
45. Suck him into the Fenton Thermos and continually bang it against a hard, concrete wall.
46. Put your finger in his face and say,"I'm...not...touching you! I'm...not...touching you!"
47. Put jack's face ALL OVER his house on EVERYTHING, even on his football stuff.
48. Follow him around ask every other second: "Where ya going?"
49. Whenever he goes ghost get in a really stupid costume and drag him door to door Trick-or-Treating.
50. "Borrow" his cape and jump around acting like The Superhero Danny Phantom counterpart.
51. Walk around his mansion, and when ever you see him, a ghost, and or a(n) security camera, fling your hands above your head, screaming ontop of your lungs "I'M GOIN GHOST" then point at him call him a fruitloop and runaway.
52. Walk around his mansion singing very loudly and badly,
a.) California Girls by Katy Perry
b.)Barbie Girl
c.) The Danny Phantom Them Song
And if I have time:
53. Suck him up in the Fenton thermos then scream into it, "LET DANNY GO!" and start shaking it really hard, and keep screaming "LET DANNY GO!" over and over.