This is a result of my brainstorming during the too-long commercial breaks and what I thought was going to happen in the remaining parts of the episode. This is extremely hypocritical of me because I typically hate post-ep fics as Marlowe is the amazing expert and I am not saying this is how it 'should have gone'. I just wanted to share my theorizing for this ep with others, mainly because The All and Powerful Oz (Kimmie) told me to. ;) Also, thank you so much Kimmie for holding my hand and walking me through the parts that I got stuck on. Oh, and adding spaces that made sense :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing I just couldn't resist the voices in my head and this is cheaper than therapy.
Beckett tried to keep her smile from showing on her face; Castle was here, he was theorizing, and the case was perfect.
Zombies!
She knew they weren't real, obviously, but she didn't care what the case was about as long as he had a semblance of his attitude back at the precinct. His genuine smile and the affection in his eyes were still missing, but at least they seemed to be back on the right path.
She walks into the break room, Greta Mastroianni would be showing up at the precinct soon and she could use a few minutes to clear her head while consuming caffeine. Castle followed behind her, and a thrill ran through her body as she heard his footsteps. They were definitely on the right path that led to the destination of—
"Beckett?" Castle's solemn voice interrupted her thoughts and she whipped her head around, her stomach plummeting to the ground once she saw his face.
His eyes were dark and shuttered his mouth in a tight line. The words so close echoed hauntingly in her mind and her heart thumped with fear at his next words.
"Beckett, this is my last case. I think we both know that this has been ending for some time, and the three book deal ends with Frozen Heat which is almost finished. I think I've gotten everything I'm going to get from here."
Beckett's fear flashes to anger; rage at how he has been acting, at the missed opportunities that are too late to resolve, at the way he can just throw her away like she means nothing. Did they mean nothing to him?
She hardens her face to match his, thinking of her absence of coffee this morning to provide more fuel to the fire. "I don't see how it would be necessary for you be on the remainder of this case anyway; you are warping the facts with the fictional element of zombies and distracting my team."
She straightens her shoulders, looks him square in the eye, her voice heavy with the emotion of the anger she feels towards him.
"You should just leave now, Mister Castle. I don't want you here."
Castle's jaw tightens and his face morphs into a sneer that emulated the contempt he felt in the observation room as he heard her declare that she remembered everything to a suspect of the bombing.
"Yeah, Detective Beckett, you made that pretty clear."
Castle turns and walks away, and Beckett watches his retreating form as her anger dissipates into a weighty dread that causes her to wonder what the exact moment was that everything went wrong.
Kate's ability to distance herself from her emotions was probably the only reason she got through the rest of the case, even though that specific ability was the reason Castle wasn't here in the first place. Irony. She wondered how long it would be until the reminders of Castle didn't feel like her heart was on fire, burning with the loss of what could be.
What almost was.
What is obviously gone now.
Esposito and Ryan kept looking at her with concern creasing their faces as they tried to understand Castle's departure without asking the question. Kate suspected that the despair written on her face already gave the answer away even though she tried desperately to hide it. She heard Ryan muttering to Esposito that he thought Castle and her were 'hitting it off again'. Kate grimaced at her similar line of thinking.
What went wrong?
Kate remained strong, feeling validated as the murderer admitted to his crime, fooled by Ryan's costume. She could do this without Castle; she didn't need him just like he no longer needed her. Kate smiled softly as Esposito placed the cuffs around Tom's wrist.
The three of them return to the precinct, relishing in the glow of closing a case. The silence is broken with Ryan looking down at his zombie costume, "Castle would have really enjoyed that".
Kate's face falls to grief and Esposito yells, "Nice going, bro!" as he shoves Ryan and tells him to take that crap off. Kate stumbles back, almost as if she had been hit and she is overcome with a visual of Castle in the zombie costume, smiling with pleasure at both getting a criminal to confess and at the opportunity to be a zombie. Especially with how many times he brought up a zombie apocalypse over the past four years.
He should have been here.
Kate bumps into a chair in her grief and turns, glaring once she realizes it is Castle's chair; her anger mounting because she thinks of it as Castle's.
It's a chair. Just a chair.
"Castle." She says the name under her breath like a curse word and kicks the chair hard, sending it scooting a couple feet across the floor.
Their last conversation flashes in her mind. After she said she didn't want him at the precinct, he said she made that clear. What did that mean? When did she say or act like she didn't want him? Before she could think through her decision too carefully, she stormed out of the precinct, determined to make her writer talk.
Kate rides the elevator up to his place, her anger stewing mildly at the surface. It was time for them to talk, and she wanted to know exactly why he was leaving. He deserved to know everything; he needed to know she loved him even if it was too late. The elevator dinged, and she walked out, quickening her pace to reach his door.
She was ready.
Castle stepped out, and her heart skipped a beat. She rushed closer, words spilling out of her mouth, "What the hell did you mean by it being obvious I don't want you at the precinct?"
It was then that she saw blonde curls poking out behind Castle's shoulder, a woman clutching an expensive coat to her chest saying goodbye to Castle with a sultry smile. The woman glanced at Kate and headed for the open elevator door.
The clash of the doors closing was the sound that pushed the final button of Kate's patience and she stepped towards him, voice raised and hand outstretched, and pushed him on his chest.
"SERIOUSLY,Castle? What the hell! It's just like the Hamptons all over again!"
Castle steps back, exclaiming his surprise, "OW, Beckett!" Glaring at her, he explains, "She was just getting her co—Wait. What about the Hamptons?"
Beckett continues to poke him in the chest, effectively pushing him from the threshold of the door into his apartment. Her jabs accentuate the words she yells at him through clenched teeth, "I was ready for you, I was ready for us. I was going to tell you I love you, and yet there is always a blonde at your side right when I go to take the leap!"
Her voice gets softer, edged with defeat as she is faced with the failure of losing the person she considered as her soulmate, her one and done. "I thought you loved me, Castle, what went wrong?"
Beckett's hand falls from his chest, and Castle quickly catches her hand and brings it to rest on his chest once more, her hand tightly clasped in his. "You love me?"
His voice comes out louder than he intended, his surprise written all over his face. "Kate, I thought...I heard you in the interrogation room with that suspect...you remember."Castle squeezes her hand tight with the emotion of betrayal, his eyes darkening with pain and his mouth twisting into a grimace.
"I thought you didn't want to remember what I said because you didn't feel the same way. I couldn't...I couldn't be next to you every day, loving you and hoping for more. " Castle looks at Beckett with an uncertain expression, his newfound optimism battling with his prior assumption that she didn't love him.
Kate gasps, finally understanding the tension and the pattern of his behavior. A tear falls down her cheek as she understands just how much she has hurt him. "Rick, I love you…Always. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I was in therapy, I was trying to be better. For you, always for you. Please, please tell me I still have a chance."
Castle pulls Kate's hand closer, causing her to fall against his chest and he tilts her head up with his hand. He murmurs, "Kate, I've never stopped loving you" before lowering his lips to move slowly on hers in a sweet kiss, a symbol of their declared love. Castle smiles and pulls back, gazing into her eyes.
Kate reaches up and smiles coyly, wrapping her arms around his neck and running her fingers through the hair on the back of his head. "I'm here now, and I'm all yours", she states with conviction, crashing her lips to his and sliding her tongue in his mouth.
A deep moan escapes her as she wraps herself around his body, running her fingers in his hair and dragging her hands lower as the kiss intensifies.
Rick pulls his mouth away from Kate's, breathing heavily and gasps, "I think it's about time we ditch the subtext, wouldn't you say?" and quickly lifts her into his arms, slamming his front door shut and takes her to his bedroom.