Don't Cry For Us

Who am I?

I am one of the many, one of the proud, one of the valiant, one of the fallen.

I am one of the slain.

Something felt different as I left for the Natalga Gap. I wept a little as I told my family and my betrothed one, my love, goodbye. Somehow I felt, deep inside, that I would not see their beautiful faces again. I turned on my horse before I left, just so I could look back at them one more time. I smiled, wanting it to be the last thing they saw of me, if I would never see them again. They smiled back through their own tears, my little sister waved, and my betrothed mouthed the words I love you.

The size of the Horde army was breathtaking once we reached the battle. I had never seen so many. My eyes scanned the countless ranks of Scabs quickly and I knew many would die. It was truly terrifying.

Elyon, help us, I prayed.

I glanced over to look at Christoph, my best friend, who was mounted next to me. His face showed the horror my heart felt. He looked at me and wetted his dry lips.

"There are so many," he said slowly.

I nodded. "It will be alright," I answered softly, trying to reassure both of us. A small smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. "Do you remember the games we used to play?"

"After we left the colored forest?"

"Yes. In Middle, at the beginning."

Christoph smiled a little. "We swore to defend the forests."

"We were the greatest warriors, second only to Thomas of Hunter," I said with a small laugh.

Christoph's smile faded. "We're not fighting bushes and trees anymore, my friend."

I sighed. "I know. But do not lose hope. Elyon will give the victory. No matter what happens in this battle or any other, we always have the victory through Him. Elyon's strength, my friend."

"Elyon's strength."

The battle was sheer chaos. I was separated from Christoph at some point in time, but I couldn't be sure when it happened. There were so many Scabs we hardly ever got a moment's break in the fighting. My body automatically went through every motion it needed to that I had learned from training under Thomas of Hunter. Though my body was intent on the battle, my mind was always on my family. I thought of my father and mother, who had always been there to love and support me. They spoke of the colored forest to me often. I was only a small child when the Shataiki invaded, so my parents told me stories of the colored forest, keeping the memory, and my love for Elyon, alive. I thought of my two younger brothers who fenced each other with long sticks like Christoph and I once used. They always begged me to show them moves I had learned in my training, so I would show them simple ones then laugh as they tried to execute them. I thought of my little sister and how she would giggle happily when I swung her around in my arms. I thought of my betrothed, the sweet girl I had fallen in love with. We were to be married shortly after I returned. I thought of the way she would smile at me, her sparkling eyes full of the purest love.

I fought the Scabs with as much fury as ever, thinking of the pain they had caused so many. Then, for a fleeting moment, I thought of their own pain. I thought of their diseased minds and I was almost surprised when I realized that I pitied them. I wondered, thinking of my own family, if the warriors I slew had families that they were trying to defend.

A scream of pain cut into my thoughts like a knife. I had heard so many screams like it throughout the battle, but this one was different. I knew this scream.

Christoph.

I knocked the Scab warrior I was fighting to the ground and quickly glanced to my left. Christoph was there about one hundred feet from me. Blood ran down his arm and chest from a long, deep cut across his shoulder.A huge Scab was quickly overpowering him. I saw all this in a matter of seconds, then turned back and quickly slew the Scab I had knocked to the ground.

My thoughts on the Horde changed completely. I knew I could not think of them as defending their families. These were diseased Scabs from the desert who defied Elyon and hated His water. They would kill my family without a second's hesitation if they could. They were killing my best friend.

I ran to where he was and let out a throaty scream as I raised my bloody sword and brought it down across the back of the large Scab. With a yell of pain he turned his attention to me, giving Christoph the chance to recover and finish the Horde warrior from behind.

I quickly surveyed the area around me but saw no immediate attackers. Keeping my sword ready I moved over to Christoph. Blood continued to run down his arm but he kept his sword ready to fight. We stepped back a few paces and put our backs to the steep cliff face behind us.

"Thank you," Christoph said quickly, taking in large, ragged breaths.

I nodded. Looking around a feeling of dread washed over me. I moved a little closer to Christoph so I could talk to him better above the noise of the battle.

"Will you give a message to my family?"

"What are you talking about?" he yelled back, eyes scanning for possible attackers.

"After the battle. When you return to Middle. Will you take a message to my family?"

"Why should I? You'll be with me."

"Please. If I'm not..."

"Don't talk like that! You will be!"

"Christoph, I-"

But I was interrupted by a quiet thud and pain shooting down my right arm. A loud moan came through my clenched teeth as my sword fell from my hand. Looking down I saw an arrow buried in my shoulder.

Thud. My side.

Thud. My thigh.

My knees buckled and I fell to the ground with three Scab arrows in me. Christoph fell to his knees by my side, dropping his sword.

"Fight, Christoph. Leave me. Go." My words were strained and broken as I winced in pain. "But, my family, please..."

"Don't talk," Christoph said quickly. You will see them."

"No," I said again, finding it harder to talk with each passing second. "I love them. I'll be waiting for all of you. Tell them."

I moved my head a little to look around at the slain Forest Guard surrounding me, their blood mingling with that of the fallen Scabs'. There were so many. I was one of them. I looked back up at Christoph. I saw tears fill his eyes as he finally understood that I could never return to my life in the Middle Forest.

"Tell them."

"I will," he whispered.

Suddenly, laying there on the ground with my life slipping away, I felt an overwhelming peace. It was unexplainable and I knew it came from Elyon. I reached up and grasped Christoph's hand. Then I smiled.

"Don't cry for us."

"Elyon's strength," Christoph whispered. Then he faded from my vision.

So many died that day. Three thousand. The Guard has never lost so many. I know that they are weeping for the fallen and for the families left behind. Weeping for the families makes more sense to me now than weeping for the fallen does. I never really understood before, and I don't think I would have been able to, but now I wish they would not weep. Not for me. Do they understand? Can they? I am now in Elyon's love, with Him, and more at peace than they can comprehend. I am happy now, so happy that words fail to describe it.

It is true that I never really thought I would die in battle. I thought I would marry my betrothed and live a long life with her. But that's not what Elyon planned for me. I'm proud to have died defending the Forests. We all are.

We're proud to have died defending you, my family. We died to protect love like what we shared, my betrothed. We're happier now than we ever have been, or ever could be while we were not with Elyon, and we're more alive than we ever were. Remember the joy we had in the Colored Forest, long ago when most of us were only children? We have that joy again. We have an even greater joy.

Don't cry for us.

We are the slain. We are alive in Elyon.