Author's Note: I came up with most of this fic during a state of sheer insomnia. My imagination kept me awake, excitedly breathing life into this story one detail at a time. As always, I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.
The early thrill of excitement in anticipation for the party had since dwindled inside the cramped space in the backseat of the taxi that the two couples—Sheldon and Amy, Howard and Bernadette—were forced to share on the way to their destination. Bernadette sat at a haphazard angle in Howard's lap, and the tip of her heel kept accidentally hitting Sheldon's calf.
Of course, it also didn't help that Howard and Bernadette were currently in a passionate embrace, a mess of tongues and tangled limbs. Apparently Bernadette was in some sort of rare wild heat, and Howard, being the over-sexed, pint-sized man that he was, had jumped at the opportunity to play an overzealous game of tonsil hockey with his wife.
Sheldon did his best to concentrate on staring out at the road through the windshield, all the while silently regretting his decision to leave the apartment early instead of hanging back with Leonard, who was still waiting for Penny to get off work. At the time, it seemed like a good idea to get going early, since Sheldon figured that the sooner they got there, the sooner they could leave, which now seemed all the more enticing to him.
As Sheldon exhaled harshly, Amy cast a look at him, noting the solemn look on his face. He was miserable already, and the night hadn't even started yet.
Amy, herself, had very much been looking forward to this party. It was being held at a large and upscale venue, a ballroom in one of Pasadena's finest hotels. She knew Sheldon didn't want to attend, as he much enjoyed the more intimate setting of Stuart's comic book store, but since Stuart wasn't having a Halloween party this year because he apparently no longer had the budget for it, this was the next best thing.
But now, as much as she tried to resist it, Amy could feel herself absorbing some of Sheldon's bad mood. She already had an annoying itch in the back of her neck thanks to the Olive Oyl wig. She didn't dare scratch it, though, as Sheldon would likely assume that she was acquiring a case of head lice, and he'd make her immediately take it off and go home to disinfect her scalp.
Bernadette suddenly pulled back from Howard. Impressively, the fake mustache that was glued above his lip remained perfectly intact despite their heavy make-out session. She lovingly touched Howard's cheek with her hand, wearing long white gloves that stretched past her elbows. She slid her hand past his cheek to straighten the red cap on his head.
"You know," she said with a smile, "maybe you should've dressed up as Yoshi, that way later I could've…ridden you all night."
Howard grinned suggestively and opened his mouth to respond, but Sheldon took that moment to break into the conversation.
"Oh, that wouldn't make any sense at all, as Princess Peach has never ridden Yoshi in any Nintendo game. As a matter of fact, Yoshi wasn't introduced until the popular 1990 classic, Super Mario World, for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System, whereas Princess Peach first appeared five years earlier in the highly successful, not to mention my personal favorite Super Nintendo game, Super Mario Brothers."
Howard and Bernadette stared at Sheldon, both looking dumfounded and slightly annoyed. Sheldon stared back at them, unable to realize that they weren't at all impressed by his supreme knowledge of vintage video games.
"What?" he asked when neither of them said anything. "You really should know the facts behind your costume before you make illogical comments like that. Fortunately for you, my correction just saved you from any embarrassment it inevitably would have caused."
"Hey, Sheldon?" Bernadette said.
"Yes?"
"Put a sock in it, sailor man," she snapped, and promptly dove against Howard's lips for round two.
"Well," Sheldon said, averting his gaze and straightening his shoulders, "consider that the last time I help anyone out this evening."
The four of them were silent for the rest of the way there. Sheldon had easily fallen back into his sour mood, while Amy, having enjoyed that exchange for reasons she couldn't quite fathom, smiled to herself.
Finally out of the cab, Howard and Bernadette, his arm around her waist, and Sheldon and Amy, an arm's length apart, made their way towards the hotel. Raj was already there, standing just outside the entrance. He waved at them as they approached, and Howard was the first to comment on his costume.
"Why the hell are you dressed like a doorman?" he asked, staring in disbelief at the red fez hat perched on Raj's head, matching his jacket. "I thought you said you were going as Aladdin."
"I am dressed like Aladdin!" Raj said, offended that his best friend couldn't see that. He leaned in a little closer to him. "Underneath this jacket, I'm completely shirtless except for a purple vest. Plus, I plan on taking off my moccasins once we get inside so I can be barefoot just like the lovable street rat."
Howard furrowed his eyebrows. "Boy, you really take this whole costume thing way too seriously, don't you?"
"Oh, you're one to talk, mushroom man," Raj retorted. "Nice overalls!"
"Okay, you know what?" Howard said, raising a hand and pointing accusingly at Raj. "You're just jealous because I wouldn't let you dress up as Luigi."
"Nuh uh," Raj childishly replied. "I didn't want to dress up as Mario's unappreciated younger brother. And besides, a brown Luigi? Really, dude? That's just absurd. Hell, if anything, Sheldon could've dressed up as Luigi. He's tall and pale enough."
"And skinny," Bernadette tacked on, grinning, as they all turned their attention to Sheldon.
He said nothing at first, but, after a moment, he couldn't help but admit, "I suppose we do share a few startlingly similar characteristics appearance-wise. However, if I had gone as Luigi, that would mean Amy would've had to go as—"
His words clipped short when he turned towards her, and Amy watched him, a mixture of curiosity and confusion crossing her features. Sheldon stared at her in a way that he never had before, making her feel inexplicably nervous with a sudden need to shift beneath his intense gaze.
"Princess Daisy," he said at last. "Drat, perhaps that would've been a better costume choice for us."
"I think we look nice in the costumes we have on now," Amy said, not entirely sure what he was implying, but what he said next made it extremely clear.
"Well, I still say you'd look better dressed as Princess Daisy compared to how you look now."
A heavy silence immediately dropped among the group, like an anchor plummeting into the depths of the ocean, the rusty metallic chains unraveling at a wildly fast speed. The wheels in Amy's head began to crank to life then, a spark of electricity zipping down her spine and a blazing fire igniting in her eyes as she ground out a soft, vehement, "Excuse me?"
"Ooh, crap."
"Not good."
"You're a dead man."
The overlapping comments from Raj, Bernadette and Howard, respectively, caused Sheldon to first look at the three of them with widened eyes, before looking back at Amy. He observed the way her jaw clenched and took it as a very bad sign.
"What?" he asked in an uncharacteristically apprehensive tone.
Amy clenched her hands at her sides, and then, she went off. "What are you saying exactly, Sheldon? That I don't look good enough dressed like this? What the hell is wrong with you? How dare you insult me like that. You're my boyfriend. You're not supposed to insult me. You're supposed to compliment me and tell me how beautiful I am and how you can't wait until we get home so you can have me all to yourself."
She was so blinded by anger that she'd nearly forgotten where they were, and that their friends were standing right there, watching all of this unfold. But then she tossed her heated glare from Sheldon to Bernadette, and said in finality, "Let's go, Bernadette. I need a drink."
With that, she brushed right through the space between Howard and Raj, who each stepped aside anyway, afraid of what she might do if they were in her way. She stomped her way into the hotel without looking back.
Once she was out of sight, Bernadette looked from her stunned husband, to an equally stunned Raj, and finally to Sheldon, whose waxy skin and tightened stance made him look like a frightened statue.
"That was really mean, Sheldon," Bernadette said seriously. She turned to Howard and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'll meet you inside, Howie," she told him, before turning herself and walking away, gathering a handful of her long pink dress as she walked so that she wouldn't trip over it.
Howard and Raj were left standing in the dingy atmosphere that reeked of awkwardness thanks to Sheldon. Not knowing what else to do, Howard raised his shoulders and clasped his hands together, while Raj pursed his lips and pointed behind them with his thumb.
"Shall we?" he asked.
"Let's," Howard immediately conceded, following Raj's lead as they started to walk away as well. After taking only a few steps, though, Howard turned back, and Raj did as well, the two of them staring at Sheldon, still motionless. Howard called his name, and when he didn't get a response, he simply asked, "You coming?"
Sheldon stayed matted to the ground, calm and still, all the while his mind was in a tumultuous whirlwind, dumbstruck over how quickly he'd managed to ignite Amy's temper.
As he pulled himself from his thoughts long enough to join Howard and Raj, he could hear the ominous Halloween music coming from inside, a fitting backdrop as he headed into the unknown world of his impending doom.
"You're one tough cookie, Amy," Bernadette said over the music, delicately swirling the blood-red punch inside her clear plastic cup.
She and Amy stood in the corner of the large ballroom, which was decorated appropriately with skeletons lining the walls and tombstones sitting in the corners. The lights from the DJ booth pulsed off of the walls as people happily danced, laughing and drinking and having a great time.
Then there was Amy, standing with her back pressed against the wall, her head resting flat against it so that the bun from her wig stood straight up. She looked at Bernadette, who'd just finished her drink, whereas Amy hadn't even had one yet, suddenly no longer in the mood to drink. Amy watched as Bernadette took the plastic ladle and re-filled her cup.
"Thanks," Amy said in response to Bernadette's compliment. She slowly let her eyes travel back to the sea of happy people enjoying the party. She kept scanning the room, trying to spot Sheldon in his sailor's cap and silk black shirt with the red collar blooming across his shoulders, the very same red that matched the blouse of her own costume.
The overly romantic part of her wanted to spot him from across the room, looking upset as he frantically searched the room himself, trying to find her so he could grovel at her feet and apologize for what he'd said. She knew it was a futile endeavor, and she soon gave up and turned back to Bernadette. "You don't think I overreacted?"
"Are you kidding? If anything, you under reacted," Bernadette said. "If Howie ever said something rude like that to me, I'd squash his precious little jewels like a bug. No girl deserves to be disrespected like that, especially not by her man."
"That's true," Amy said, growing weary as Bernadette downed her second drink without missing a drop. "Boy, you're really going hard tonight, aren't you? You're like Penny on an average Tuesday night."
"I'm just having fun," Bernadette said, "and you should, too, Amy. Screw Sheldon! Screw him hard!"
Amy stared at her, and, in her rapidly growing state of inebriation, it took Bernadette longer than it should have for her to realize the implications of what she'd just said. As soon as she did, she snorted, clasping a hand over her mouth.
"Ooh, that sounded naughty," the petite blonde giggled, pulling her hand away and awkwardly waving it around as though she were swatting the air. "What I meant to say was, don't let his stupid comment spoil your night. Get out there and enjoy yourself." She raised the cup to her mouth again, only to frown in disappointment when she found that it was empty. She turned back to the refreshments table to pour herself a third helping of punch, only to shriek and drop the ladle back into the bowl as a pair of hands wrapped around her waist. "Howie! You scared me."
"Oh, I'm-a sorry, my-a beautiful princess," Howard said in a comically thick Italian accent. "Come on, let's-a go have some fun, hmm?"
Bernadette's high-pitched giggle filled Amy's ears as Howard took her by the hand. The two of them breezed right past her and headed out to the dance floor. They fell into each other's arms, and Amy watched the small couple for a while, her chest sinking as she let out a long and heavy sigh. She slowly glided her hand down to her purse, touching the metal clasp.
A thought struck her then, and, with a smirk, she tore herself from the wall and headed towards the ladies' room, determined to take Bernadette's advice and have a great time tonight, whether Sheldon would be a part of it or not.
"Personally, I never really cared much for Abu. That selfish little primate caused nothing but trouble for Aladdin," Raj said to a young woman dressed like Pippi Longstocking, a few bold freckles dotted across her rosy cheeks. She furrowed her eyebrows, which Raj didn't notice as he continued, "Although, now that I think about it, Abu was the one who stole the lamp from Jafar, so if it weren't for him, Aladdin never would've gotten to meet that crazy Genie." Raj paused again, only to confess, "Oh, who am I kidding, that tiny monkey is adorable. I wish I could've gotten a monkey sidekick. That really would've brought my whole costume together."
"Wait, but… What does a monkey have to do with a bellhop?"
Raj's face dropped. "A bellhop? No, no, you see, I'm Aladdin." The woman stared at him blankly. "You know, from the Disney movie." She blinked, and Raj nodded. "Okay, I see the confusion. See, it would make more sense if I weren't wearing this jacket, but unfortunately the people at the door wouldn't let me take it off. Apparently it's okay for someone like you to wear a short dress and show a little cleavage, but me being shirtless and barefoot is 'inappropriate.'"
The girl's face wrinkled in disgust, and she didn't miss a beat as she walked away from Raj, not even bothering to say anything else to him. Raj stared after her, calling out, "Okay, well, have a good night." She didn't turn back. He sighed heavily. "I knew I should've dressed like Prince Ali."
Sheldon's eyes were wide and bright, on high alert to zero-in on an emotionally distraught Amy. She wasn't answering her phone, and it was extremely crowded in the ballroom, and the music was obscenely loud, and people kept rudely bumping into him as he attempted to make his way through the sweaty dance floor. The back of his neck felt hot, and all he wanted to do now was go home.
Nevertheless, he was on a mission to find Amy. Whether she'd listen to him or not would be another challenge, but he wouldn't know until he found her. As he reached the end of the dance floor, he drew the worst yet most logical conclusion, that she likely had already left the party.
However, when he unexpectedly laid eyes on her, he froze in his steps, all the blood draining from his face.
There was Amy, her lips now coated in a glistening red so vibrant that it was impossible not to notice. The shock didn't lie on her lips, but rather that she was smiling and conversing animatedly with a tall and brawny-looking man dressed like a train conductor.
Sheldon's mind went into overdrive.
His feet carried him the short distance to where Amy stood. He heard her laugh and he shivered at the sound. When he reached them, neither one of them acknowledged him, seemingly too engrossed in their conversation.
But then Amy's smile dropped into a stern frown as she turned to Sheldon and asked, "Can I help you?"
Ignoring her, Sheldon looked right at the strange man. They were roughly the same height, though the man was much bulkier, and although Sheldon wanted to ask him who he was and why he was talking to his girlfriend, he suddenly found himself voiceless and intimidated. All he could do was stare at him and his train conductor hat, and he wondered if he had a pocket watch or a train whistle and why was Amy speaking to him?
Eventually, Amy picked up on the silence and held out one of her hands. "This is Chuck," she introduced. "He and I were just having a riveting conversation about trains."
"Nice to meet ya, Popeye," Chuck said, though Sheldon couldn't tell if he was being condescending or genuinely friendly. When Chuck extended his hand out towards him, Sheldon took one long look at it, before looking back up at him and narrowing his eyes.
"Chuck," he repeated, registering the name in his mind as a new nemesis. He turned to Amy. "May I speak to you?" he asked, then quickly added, "Alone?"
"No," Amy said right away.
"Amy," Sheldon whispered in sudden desperation.
He watched as Amy's bright red lips parted and her eyes widened slightly. Sheldon still wasn't entirely sure what he was going to do or say. All he knew was that he needed to get her away from this Chuck person as quickly as possible before he absolutely lost it and did something he'd regret.
As for Chuck, he'd long since dropped his hand and now looked greatly confused by this whole encounter between these too clearly odd people. Amy turned to him.
"It was a pleasure conversing with you, Chuck," she said, bidding him adieu with a nod of her head. She then looked at Sheldon, waiting for him to make the next move, and suddenly her breath left her in a startled gasp as Sheldon took her by the hand.
Without a word, he tugged her forward, leading her far, far away from that woman-stealing train conductor.
"You really do look weirdly sexy in that purple body suit," Penny said, her arm wrapped around Leonard's elbow as the two of them made their way inside the ballroom.
Leonard eyed his girlfriend, whose wavy blonde hair hardly moved at all thanks to all the hairspray she'd used, making her look like someone straight out of the '80s. She wore a revealing lime green mini dress, black leather boots and a denim jacket embellished with crystal rhinestones. Her face clashed with an array of colors, ranging from heavy dark blue eyeshadow to hot pink lipstick.
"Thanks," Leonard said. "I just wish it wasn't so tight in the groin area."
They both came to a halt when they saw a rather disheveled-looking Howard and Bernadette come out of a random hallway. Leonard blinked, wrinkling his eyebrows. Bernadette ran her fingers through her hair, adjusting the plastic gold crown on her head, while Howard fixed his red shirt collar and checked the buttons on his overalls, until he finally noticed them.
"Hey, look who finally decided to show up," Howard said. "What the hell have you two been doing that it took you over an hour to get here?"
"Same thing you were just doing, apparently," Leonard said. "By the way, you've got some lipstick on your neck."
Howard's hand immediately flew to the side of his neck, while Bernadette reached up to wipe the lipstick residue off with her thumb. As she did, she looked back at Leonard and Penny.
"What are you two supposed to be, anyway?" she asked.
"I'm a nerd," Leonard said proudly. "You know, like the candy."
"And I'm a slutty waitress," Penny said.
"Ah, ironic costumes," Howard said. "Clever."
"Thanks," Leonard said.
"Hey, by the way, did you guys happen to see Raj?" Howard asked. "Last time I saw him he was getting rejected by a candy corn witch."
"Yeah, actually, we ran into him outside," Penny said. "Some guy was trying to hand him money and tell him what kind of car he had. I guess he thought Raj was the valet or something."
Howard shook his head. "Idiot."
Raj stood outside, enjoying the serene autumn night. The party had turned out to be nothing like he'd hoped. He couldn't seem to hold a conversation with a woman for longer than five minutes, and each time, it ended the same way, with the woman stalking off, leaving him to wallow in his loneliness. Now, he was just about ready to call it a night.
He reached into his pocket to take out his cell phone, planning to text Howard to let him know that he was to going to leave, but a tap on his shoulder and the sound of a woman's voice stopped him.
"Hi, mine's the silver Lexus."
"For the last time, I'm not the valet, so you can take your money and shove it up your—" His anger ceased when he turned around and locked eyes with a striking woman dressed like Cleopatra. "…beautiful face."
The woman, clearly older, smiled temptingly, her lavish eyes taking him in. Raj collected himself and grinned as suavely as he could as he said, "I'll be back with your silver Lexus momentarily, and then maybe you and I could…head back to your place."
"Sure, why not. I'm sure my husband will enjoy that."
Raj's confident smile slipped right off of his face. "Husband?"
"He's still inside," she explained.
"I see," Raj said. "Well, then…I'll go get your Lexus."
He turned away, heading for the parking lot to pretend like he was going to get her car, when really he was going to get his own car and head home. He stuffed his hands into his pockets. As he neared his car, he spotted a woman a few feet ahead of him. She walked briskly, wearing a shiny blue dress and clutching a transparent sparkly wand in her hand.
As if sensing his presence, the woman slowly turned around, and when she did, they both stopped, staring at one another.
"Lucy," Raj said in astonishment.
She timidly lifted her hand in a small wave. "H-Hi, Raj."
"Hi," Raj said slowly, almost afraid that he were just imagining her. "Were you…planning on going to the party tonight, but then at the last second you got too scared and decided to make a break for your car?"
Lucy looked down sheepishly. "Yeah."
Silence filled the air, before Raj broke it again, "I like your fairy costume."
She peeked up, giving him a half-smile. "Thanks. I like your Aladdin costume."
Raj gave her a full-on grin. "You can tell I'm Aladdin?"
"Well, yeah. Red had, white pants."
"They're gauchos, actually, but…" He trailed off, realizing it didn't matter. "It's great to see you."
"You too," Lucy said, and there was another beat of silence, when she added, "I've missed you."
Raj smiled even wider, suppressing a squeal. "Really?"
Lucy nodded. They didn't say anything else for a while, but they did keep looking at each other, until something snapped in Lucy and worry lines sprouted against her eyes. "Well, goodnight, Raj," she said, turning away and rushing over to her car.
Raj watched as the wand in her hand reflected off of the moonlight as she walked away, and even after she was gone, the smile on his face stayed there for the rest of the night.
Sheldon held Amy's hand the entire way out of the hotel. They walked together like that for a while, down the sidewalk, until Sheldon let go of her hand, immediately abandoning Amy of the wonderful warmth, yet at the same time allowing her to remember that she was mad at him.
But before she could tell him off, he was the first one to air out his grievances.
"How could you do that to me?" he asked, staring down at her, his eyes piercing right through her, making her feel exposed.
She shivered and brought up her arms, folding them over her chest, doing it both as a way to show her defiance, while also reclaim some of her body heat, as it was a rare cool night, and she hadn't worn a jacket.
"How could you insult me the way you did?" Amy asked, matching his sharp, demanding tone, but suddenly, her anger chipped away, allowing her true sadness to pour free. She slumped her shoulders and said, very quietly, "You really hurt my feelings, Sheldon. Do you not realize that?"
Sheldon stared at her, taking in the deep frown and the sincere hurt in her eyes. He soon matched her crestfallen countenance, and his voice was that same shiver-inducing whisper as he answered, humbly and resolutely, "I do. And I apologize."
"Really?" Amy said, unable to hide her genuine surprise, though she was quick to seal it away and replace it with indifference as she asked, "For what?"
"For implying that you didn't look nice in your costume, which of course you do. I was merely trying to point out that you would've looked even better dressed as Princess Daisy, what with you having the same long brown hair and all. I failed to mention that I, myself, would've looked better as Luigi, given the height similarity. Regardless, it's a pointless observation, as we look perfectly fine in our current costumes. All I can do now is sincerely apologize for hurting your feelings and hope that you'll accept."
Amy was too stunned to respond. It was one thing for Sheldon to be remorseful for what he said, but for him to recognize specifically how he'd offended her without her having to explain it to him was the true shock to her. While she found it refreshing for him to be so apologetic, it was so unlike him, and part of her was actually a bit relieved with what he said next, sounding much more like his arrogant self.
"Although, I must point out that it wasn't fair of you to punish me so severely by chatting up some random dimwitted man whom, I'll admit, was wearing a brilliant costume."
At that, Amy smiled softly. "I suppose you're right."
"Of course I'm right. What you did to me was no better than my childish attempt to get revenge on you for ruining Indiana Jones." He paused, thinking it over. "Come to think of it, what you did tonight was far worse. You deliberately tried to get me all riled up by acting overly flirtatious towards another man. It's bad enough that you've coated your lips in slippery lip gloss to draw even more attention to your already appealing face."
Amy's eyebrows shot up as high as they could reach. "I'm sorry, what was that?"
"You want us to always be honest with one another, correct?" Sheldon asked, undeterred by her question. "Well, fine, I'll spell it out for you. I was jealous. Are you happy now? You and those cherry red lips of yours have succeeded."
Amy's breath caught in her throat. She smiled, unable to control it, a ray of glowing confidence spreading through her and bringing warmth to her cheeks. Utilizing it to her advantage, she cocked an eyebrow and informed him, in the most suggestive tone she could muster, "You know… They just so happen to be cherry flavored as well."
She drew her lips together in a purposely slow manner, relishing this newly discovered power and the clear weakness in Sheldon's eyes as he watched her rub her lips together. She smacked them apart with a soft pop, the sound causing Sheldon to jump, and the look on his face was absolutely priceless as she asked, "Care for a taste?"
"Um…"
The hum of his voice faded away, leaving him silent as he simply stared at her. While he appeared hesitant and even a little fearful, for a split-second, Amy saw it—the flash of interest in his eyes. She couldn't fight the soft chuckle that rippled from the back of her throat. Sheldon was nowhere near as naïve as he used to be when it came to the increasingly obvious hints she'd drop every once in a while regarding her desire for intimacy. In fact, she was beginning to suspect that he was starting to want it, too. However, the last thing she wanted was to make him feel pressured, so for now, the knowledge was enough.
"Well," she said with a sigh. "It's getting late, and we both have work in the morning. Shall we share a cab?"
"Yes," Sheldon said, and that was all.
They fell into a comfortable silence as they walked side-by-side. Amy wrapped her arms around herself again, wishing she'd brought a sweater. She bent her head, a heavy feeling of exhaustion crawling its way through her muscles.
Out of nowhere, Sheldon wrapped his arm around her, and she snapped her head back up, astounded. He was staring straight ahead, but it didn't matter, as the action spoke volumes.
She smiled fully then, deciding that, in spite of everything, this turned out to be a pretty great night after all.