I'll Know When I Get There
Summary: One phone call was all it took to rip Ryan Sloane's life apart (Parrish/OC)
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Teen Wolf, Ryan however is all mine.
Chapter 1:
One phone call.
One phone call was all it took to rip apart Ryan Sloane's life.
She had always been a little anxious every time her husband had headed in to the sheriff's station for his shifts as a deputy, especially when the animal attacks started happening, but nothing could have prepared her for what happened.
The idea of Deputy Cole Sloane out late at night on his own, tracking down wild, vicious animals had been enough for Ryan to beg him to find a new job, anywhere within the small town of Beacon Hills. She had pleaded with him over and over again to find somewhere safer to work but Cole had made a very bold case against her. He had always wanted to be in law enforcement and he had been doing what he loved, in the town they had both grown up in.
People needed him. That was his major argument against Ryan's request to find another job. He was a good deputy and the town was safer with him on the team. If she had only fought harder then maybe he would still be alive.
Ryan couldn't deny that he was a valuable member of the deputy team and maybe it was a low blow against him for bringing their three-year-old daughter Kylie into the argument but there was no way she'd be able to sleep soundly at night knowing he was out there, patrolling the streets, looking for criminals or, more recently, wild animals who seemed to attack at every opportunity.
What if something happened to him, what if Kylie had to grow up without her father in her life? She had brought the questions up to him on more than one occasion but Cole had always just smiled at her and made the same promise he always did: he'd be careful, he wouldn't anything happen.
When the moon was full one night and she had been pulling an extra night shift at the hospital, where she worked as a nurse, Ryan had gotten the call, yes the call that changed her life, the call that meant Cole had broken his promise that he wouldn't let anything happen.
Cole Sloane, as well as every other deputy that had been working at the station that night, had been killed, brutally ripped apart and left for dead by some murderous psychopath, at least that was the story she had been told. Part of her didn't believe that but there was nothing she could do otherwise.
She knew there was more to the story than that, in her eyes, there was no way that one person, not a human being anyway, could have caused that much damage in a place where there were deputies with guns around every corner. It just wasn't possible, surely someone would have been able to stop the psychopath, surely someone could've done something.
Ryan had started to gather information instead of ignoring the obvious nagging feeling in her gut. She'd cut out the articles in the paper regarding the incident at the sheriff's station, in fact, she'd cut out any articles that seemed even the slightest bit odd, and slowly Ryan started to realize that there was something bigger going on in Beacon Hills, something scarier than a murdering psychopath.
She didn't know what it was though and she had no methods of investigating, apart from her article collecting. Even if she had the time, there was no way she'd be sneaking off and trying to gather up information, not with her daughter Kylie in her life. Ryan knew there was one thing for certain and that was that she wasn't about to let anything happen to Kylie.
Holding onto her daughter, Kylie resting against her hip, as they lowered Cole's casket into the ground, Ryan tried, and failed, to fight off the tears that she had been struggling to keep at bay for the last few days. There was no way she'd be able to hold them in anymore, even if she was desperate to show Kylie that she was strong, that she could do this. Cole had been her everything, he had been one of the only people to support her for most of her life, and now he was gone, stolen from her, taken away from her and their daughter, in the blink of an eye.
They had met in middle school, had been best friends from the start and when high school graduation rolled around, they were already going steady, Cole proposing the night after the ceremony. She had said yes, and then they had gone away to college together, Cole enrolling in the law enforcement program while Ryan took up nursing at the same school. It had been rough on them, there were many struggles, both of them had a busy course schedule but they had made it work, they had made it through together.
It was in their last year together that Ryan had found out that she was pregnant.
It hadn't been too much of an adjustment, not like some of the other girls that she had seen from afar, Cole basically had a foot in at the Beacon Hills Sheriff Station because of his father, and she was almost guaranteed a position at the hospital, courtesy of her good family friend Melissa McCall.
While it had been a bit of a struggle, the two of them had made ends meet, they had made it work and once a routine was established, everything seemed to fall into place, everything seemed to fit perfectly with baby Kylie added into the mix.
Everything had been going well, at least until the massacre at the sheriff's station occurred, ripping Cole from their lives unexpectedly, that's when everything changed.
Kylie's tear filled eyes were locked on the casket now as the people around her murmured prayers and well wishes to her dead father. The pastor was saying his final words to the crowd and Ryan clutched her baby girl tighter, hoping that together they'd somehow figure out a way to make things work now that there was a giant hole in their hearts, as well as their lives.
"Mommy, I miss daddy." Kylie said softly and Ryan pressed a kiss against her forehead in a lame attempt to comfort the toddler.
It wasn't fair, the sun was high in the sky and Ryan had mentally cursed the heavens for not giving her rain and dark clouds, something that would have seemed more appropriate on the day that she buried her husband and the father of her child. That was how life went though, she had lost her love, she had lost her life partner and now she was going to have to muddle through the rest of her days without Cole by her side.
"I know sweetheart, I miss him too." Ryan managed to get the words out without sobbing like she had been that night that she received the phone call. She had been hysterical, screaming and crying out for Cole, begging the person on the other end to tell her it wasn't true. It had to have been a cruel joke, he couldn't have been gone, he was much too young, much too needed.
"He's safe now though, right mommy?" Kylie asked, her words faltering through her tears. The little girl sucked in a breath and choked back a sob.
"Yeah Kylie, he's safe now." Ryan nodded and stared down into the hole in the ground where Cole would remain forever, surrounded by the damp earth.
It wasn't until a large hand pressed itself against Ryan's shoulder that she tore her eyes off the shiny, wooden casket. Glancing to the side, she watched as her own father took her, as well as Kylie, into a warm embrace, providing her with the tiniest bit of comfort on a day when she needed all the comfort she could get.
With her face securely hidden against her father's chest, Ryan let out the sobs that she had been holding in all day, her body shaking with the sounds.
Ken Robertson was a large man, in every sense of the word. He was tall, nearly towering over anyone that he came into contact with. He was built too, muscular to the point that people would be able to notice even under his clothes and he held himself well. It was hard for him to walk into a room without half of the occupants inside looking his way, his presence simply commanded it. He was older than most of the fathers of the people that Ryan had gone to school with, but none of that mattered to Ryan. She was glad just to still have him in her life, like he had been for all of her childhood.
Her own mother had passed away shortly after she was born and Ryan always felt the sadness of not having grown up with her mom in her life. She wasn't taught many of the things that other little girls were, she didn't know how to cook very well, or sew and when her first period surprised her, her and her father had rushed to the hospital where a young nurse had explained to her that she was fine, that the bleeding was nothing to worry about and to expect it every month from that day forward.
Her father had done the best he could though and it wasn't until she met Cole that she had finally managed to fill the void in her heart left by her mother. His parents had always been kind and welcoming but tragedy had struck them before Kylie had even turned one, the two of them perishing in a horrible car accident one night. The only grandparent that Kylie had left was Ken Robertson, and there wasn't anything in the world that was going to tear him away from her.
Ryan had been left with her own father too and nothing more. She had lost her mother, her husband's parents and now her husband. She knew that she wouldn't be able to burden her father with watching Kylie on a regular basis, hell he was going on seventy and looked worn and weathered from his days working at the local garage, staying on well past the age of sixty just to make sure his own baby girl had everything she could possibly have wanted. He had only retired after Kylie was born and Ryan knew that it was because he didn't want to miss out on watching the little girl grow up, something she understood as well as respected.
Another sob escaped Ryan's throat and she tried to suck in a breath, only succeeding in forcing yet another sob out of her throat. She clutched her father harder but peeled her face out of his chest, desperate for oxygen, craving fresh air.
"Ry, you know I'm not good when you cry." Ken attempted to tease her but she just clung to him tighter, sandwiching Kylie between their bodies.
"Grampy, will you take care of us now?" Kylie asked innocently and Ken looked into the little girl's bright green eyes as he forced a smile onto his lips. He ran his hand through Ryan's slightly wavy, shoulder length, golden blonde locks and fought off the urge to cry himself.
If anyone could break him down, it was the two girls in his hold at that very moment. Ken would do anything he could to make them happy but even he couldn't fix what had happened, he couldn't bring Cole back, nothing could.
"I will do everything I can to make sure you two are taken care of." Ken replied back softly and gingerly pulled away from Ryan, taking hold of Kylie in the process. Ryan slipped under his free arm and clutched the collar of his black leather jacket, not wanting him to go anywhere. She glanced across his chest at Kylie, who was now in his hold, and couldn't help but wonder what would happen to her.
Sure the little girl was holding it together fairly well now but Ryan knew there would come a time when it would all hit her and she'd be lost, confused even, and the questions would start again. Cole had been the best father to his little girl and Ryan found herself thinking that there was no one on the face of the earth that could replace him, which was fine because there was no one that she would ever want in place of Cole.
"Grampy, I miss daddy." Kylie muttered and laid her head down on his shoulder, gently patting the side of his face with her tiny little hand.
"I know pipsqueak, I know." Ryan's father replied and clutched both of his girls that extra bit tighter.
All that was left for them to do at the graveyard was for them to say goodbye and Ryan wasn't entirely sure if she'd ever be able to do just that.
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The idea of spending night after night sleeping alone in the very bed that she had once shared with her beloved Cole bothered Ryan to the core. She knew that she was all by herself now, she knew that he wasn't coming back to her but that didn't stop the sadness from creeping into her body and taking over, especially when she least expected it.
Her bones ached from the grief, her head pounded from always crying, the tears constantly blurred her vision but she wasn't about to give in to the overwhelming sadness, no she had Kylie to worry about. Kylie needed her to be strong, she needed to keep herself together, there would be no breaking down in front of her little girl, not if she could help it.
Ryan let out a low sigh and stared at the empty bed, the sheets tucked around the mattress perfectly, the pillows undisturbed since she had washed them earlier in the day. She hadn't wanted to rid herself of the faint lingering smell of Cole, which was one of the only things she had left of him, but it had been too long without clean sheets and Ryan figured that she was going to have to change the bed eventually. She couldn't very well live the rest of her life using the same sheets every night, not without washing them, which is exactly what she did.
She had cried silently to herself as she loaded up the washer, saying goodbye yet again to Cole, but she had managed to pull herself together before heading back up the stairs from the basement towards where Kylie and her grandfather were. The two of them had been sitting at the kitchen table, Kylie drawing pictures on the paper scattered over the tabletop while Ken watched on, offering the little girl a drink or a snack every so often, making sure that she had something to eat throughout the day.
That had been hours ago though and now she was all alone with Kylie in the house. Ryan's father had headed home for the night after a long drawn out conversation about him staying in the house with her, but only if she wanted him too. Ryan had assured him that she would be fine and together the two of them had tucked Kylie into her own bed before the old man left the house, promising to stop by sometime the next day.
Ryan's eyes stared at the bed and she sucked in a large breath, hoping that with time it wouldn't be as hard. She wasn't sure what to expect but this, Cole dying so unexpectedly, had never even crossed her mind. Now she was all alone, left to raise their daughter by herself and Ryan wasn't confident that she could handle that.
"Let's get this over with." Ryan muttered to herself and stepped towards the bed, pulling the top edge of the comforter down, revealing the clean gray sheets underneath.
Smoothing her hands over her abdomen, which was covered in one of Cole's old t-shirts, she held her breath and shut her eyes, trying to calm herself enough to get under the covers, to melt into the bed alone again. She hadn't spent too many nights in the bed by herself since she and Cole had been married, and Ryan wasn't going to lie, it was quite the adjustment.
Her knee pressed into the sheet covered mattress and Ryan carefully opened her eyes, looking around the room nervously, as if she was embarrassed over how hard it was for her to simply get into bed. She shook her head and her eyes immediately landed on the nightstand on the opposite side of the bed from her. She felt her eyes widening at the sight and Ryan let out a low whimper before doing the first thing that popped into her head.
She dove across the bed, landing on her stomach, and whacked the picture frame right off the table with her hand. It was too hard, much too difficult at that moment for her to have to look at the photograph of baby Kylie curled up in Cole's arms shortly after she had been born. Maybe one day she'd be able to put the photo back out on display but for tonight it would spend it's time face down on her carpeted bedroom floor.
Ryan rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling, debating where to hide the picture, where should could possibly tuck it away in the morning where she could forget about it for the time being but not have to give it up permanently. After a few seconds, she realized that she couldn't leave it on the floor, not without endangering herself or Kylie. If the glass broke, she didn't want to worry about anyone cutting themselves but she also didn't want anyone tripping over it, which could easily happen in the dark. Letting out a frustrated sigh, Ryan moved her body so that she was sitting on the edge of the bed, her eyes lingering on the back of the picture frame.
"God dammit." She groaned and pushed herself off the bed, striding towards the discarded picture. Squatting down, she wrapped her fingers around the edge of it and lifted it up, off the carpet, as she stared at the back of the frame.
"Can I have it mommy?"
Ryan spun around on her heels at the sound of Kylie's tiny voice in her doorway. Her heart pounded against her chest and she locked her eyes on her little girl, her night shirt hanging down to her knees, the picture of Olaf the snowman clear as day on the front. Ryan forced a smile in her daughter's direction and rose up to her full height, making quick work of crossing the room and crouching down in front of Kylie.
"You want this picture?" Ryan asked and held the photograph between them, the picture facing upwards so that Kylie could see what it held.
"Um…yes." Kylie nodded firmly in response to the question and Ryan fought off the urge to sigh, which was building up in her chest.
It wasn't that she didn't want Kylie to have the picture, she didn't mind at all that her baby girl had asked for it, it was just that Ryan hadn't wanted to be reminded of him, at least not until she could look at the photo and not cry at the sight of Cole's handsome face.
"You can have it if you really want it." Ryan stated and part of her hoped that Kylie would change her mind, that her baby girl would forget about the picture for the time being.
"Okay." Kylie tilted her head and grabbed hold of the frame, drawing it against her tiny chest and hugging it tight against her body, Olaf's head disappearing behind the photo.
"What are you doing out of bed anyways?" Ryan asked and dropped right down so that she was sitting on the carpet, now eye level with her sweet child. "Grandpa and I tucked you in ages ago."
Kylie looked directly into Ryan's eyes and shrugged, "I can't sleep mommy."
Ryan motioned for the toddler to move forward and Kylie slowly closed the distance between her and her mother. She gently set the picture frame on the floor beside Ryan and buried her little body against Ryan's chest. Wrapping her arms around her daughter, Ryan basked in the feeling of her child in her hold. She didn't know what to do now that Cole was gone; he had always been the one to take care of Kylie when she called out in the middle of the night claiming she couldn't sleep for whatever reason.
But Cole was gone now and the duty fell on Ryan.
"Why not sweetie?" Ryan asked softly and pressed a kiss to the side of Kylie's head, the little girl's arms grasping her mother tightly.
"I miss daddy." Kylie said sadly, her voice nearly a whine. Ryan held her breath and gripped the little girl tighter.
"Me too Kylie, me too." Ryan murmured in response and squeezed her eyes shut tight, hoping that the overwhelming emotions would pass by, or at the very least stay tucked away until she could figure out how to solve the issue of Kylie not being able to sleep.
"Can I stay with you?" Kylie leaned back and looked up at her mother, her eyes wide and shiny, tears threatening to seep out at any moment.
Ryan hadn't been expecting a request like that but she wasn't about to object, except for the fact that she hardly wanted to stay in her own room herself either. Maybe there was an easy solution; maybe she could handle this situation on her own after all.
"Why don't we go downstairs to the living room and sleep on the couch tonight?" Ryan offered slowly, hoping that Kylie wouldn't ask too many questions about why that was even an option.
"Really mommy?" Kylie asked right back and Ryan had to fight off the urge to laugh at the excited look on Kylie's face.
"Yeah really. Come on, let's go put that picture in your room, grab your teddy bear and head down to the living room?"
"Okay!" Kylie's voice was nearing a squeal and Ryan quickly made her way to her feet, hauling Kylie up off the floor before bending down and grabbing hold of the frame.
Kylie took hold of the picture and held it tightly as Ryan wandered out of her room, taking one last glance back at the bed before flipping the light off. When they approached Kylie's room, just across the hall, Ryan lowered her child to the floor and Kylie took off in a run, dashing towards her dresser and setting the picture on its back so that it was facing the ceiling.
Jumping up onto her bed, Kylie grabbed hold of her lavender coloured teddy bear and hugged it against her chest while Ryan leaned against the side of the doorframe. With a small smile, Kylie hopped off her bed and wandered towards her mother, reaching her hand up for Ryan to take.
The two of them headed for the stairs, Ryan going first so that Kylie wouldn't fall down them, and before they knew it, the two of them were in the living room, standing in front of the couch, staring at it.
"What do we do now mommy?" Kylie asked, looking up at her mother, her teddy bear dangling from her free hand.
"Now we get comfortable." Ryan nodded and bent down, grabbing Kylie under her arm pits and lifting her up onto the couch where she stood staring up at Ryan.
"What about a blanket?" Kylie tilted her head to the side and Ryan held her hand up, signaling for Kylie to give her just one minute.
Walking over to the rocking chair tucked into the corner of the room, she grabbed hold of the quilt that her mother had made for her when she was a baby. Ryan opened it up and headed back to the couch, sitting down next to Kylie and spreading it out over herself. She flipped it down and slipped her arm around her baby girl, gently pulling the child against her chest, the bear now squished between their bodies.
Kylie leaned forward and kissed the tip of Ryan's nose before relaxing in her mother's hold, the two of them carefully moving into a laying down position on the couch. With Kylie tightly clutched against her chest and the two of them sharing one of the pillows on the couch, Ryan felt her body relax the slightest bit.
Yes, this was much better than sleeping in the bed that she used to share with her now dead husband, the living room couch was the answer to her current problem. Kylie let out an incredibly large yawn and melted into her mother's chest, Ryan placing a gentle kiss against her forehead.
"I love you Kylie." Ryan whispered and Kylie squirmed slightly, but only enough so that she could see into her mother's eyes.
"I love you bigger mommy." Kylie murmured and relaxed back into the couch.
As she clutched her daughter against her chest and felt the little girl's breathing even out, Ryan couldn't help but wonder if this was going to be how she spent the rest of her nights. There was one thing she knew for sure, eventually she'd have to figure out a way to get herself back into her bedroom during the nights and get Kylie back into her bedroom too.
For now though, she'd hold her little girl tight and hope that no more tragedy came upon her or her family.
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If there's anything you guys want to say, maybe things you liked, didn't like, how you feel about Ryan and Kylie so far; if there's any questions you might have, leave me a review!
I love hearing from you guys and I hope you like Ryan so far!