Author's Note: Takes place during/shortly after All Hell Breaks Loose part 1. Re-run inspired fic. Slight Azazel/Sam non-con at first. Does not go that way, though. "Cut-scene" between Sam and Azazel, I suppose. Azazel is not named, of course. Just referred to as "Yellow eyes" for the most part. During the short time he is dead, Sam finds himself in a limbo-like area of Heaven with a snarky, and equally confused archangel. Song by Epica.
Obsessive Devotion
I prefer to be a liar just like you
To fulfill my deepest desires
I belong to someone, I'm dedicated to
But all that I desire is you
Sam was just dumbfounded. This...this yellow-eyed demon, this sick monster...wanted him to kill everyone else and lead an army of demons in the battle for the end of the world. That just wasn't happening. Ever. No matter what. Sam would die first. The demon had killed Jessica...had killed Mom...and would now have to kill him, because there was no way he was going through with what that asshole was proclaiming.
Yellow eyes was giving him weird looks and telling him how much he hoped it was Sam who won the battle, because his 'bets were on him'. What the hell the demon was talking about, he had no idea and wanted no part of it. Yellow eyes wasn't taking a hint.
"I like you, Sam Winchester. All the monsters do. You don't know why. But you will."
Sam threw up his hands. "Yeah. I DO actually know why. I'm supposed to lead the damned demon army at Armageddon!"
"Actually, Armageddon isn't what we call the end of the world. People get that shit mixed up all the time, Sammm. Geez. Its Apocalypse. And no. Thats NOT why you're a goddamn American hero among us demons." Yellow eyes put a hand on Sam's shoulder, which Sam angrily shook off.
"Then TELL ME, damn you. What is it? Why ME? Why am I so goddamn important to you that you would take the time out to confront me alone and tell me what this is all about? Why is it so important that I 'win the beauty pageant' or whatever the hell you're calling it?"
Yellow eyes smiled. "You are so very important Sam. Its all been about you. From the verrry beginning. If you know what I mean."
Sam threw up his hands in confusion. "No. No. I don't know what you mean. I have...no fucking CLUE what you mean. Beginning of what?"
This time, Yellow eyes gripped Sam's shoulders so hard that he couldn't escape so easily. He leaned over, whispered in Sam's ear. "Beginning...of everything." The demon gazed up at Sam, reached one hand out and softly stroked his cheek.
"You are perfect. You're just what he wants...just what he needs. Its always been you, cutiepie."
Sam forcibly grabbed Yellow eyes arms and managed to twist him around and toss him to the ground.
"Don't touch me, asshole. He who? Who are you 'saving me for'? TELL ME!" He shook Yellow eyes.
The demon just laughed. "You won't know. Not for quite a bit. But when you do, you should be happy that you're chosen. That you're the one...who will end it all. Oh yes, your destiny is greater by far than you know. Greater by far than any of these schmucks here. Thats why you have to win. If you don't win. I have failed him. Failing him is not a good thing, Sammy. Not a good thing at all."
"Don't fucking call me Sammy. You're not my friend. You're not my lover. Shut the fuck up. I'm guessing I'm supposed to be a snack for 'him'? You're saving me for some higher up demon's lunch or something?"
Yellow eyes laughed. "You certainly wish. Oh, yes, you will certainly wish that were the case, if you keep thinking that being chosen is a BAD thing. No, it can be a very good thing..." Yellow eyes stood up, went over and kissed Sam.
"I know about your attraction to men. I can't say I'm depressed about it...you taste wonderful." Yellow eyes kissed Sam again.
He was so strong that Sam was unable to fight back. Was Yellow eyes going to fuckin rape him right here?
"No, no, no, Sammy. As I said, you're for him. I just wanted to taste you, thats all. If I did anything to that precious body of yours...well, he'd have my head."
Sam almost wished Yellow eyes WOULD rape him at this proclamation. "I won't fight back at all. Go ahead. Have your way with me. Whats a little demon sex if it ends up with you dead?"
Yellow eyes laughed. He clapped his hands. Sam jerked awake. He was back in...Frontierland. He looked around. Ava was missing. Dammit!
LATER
Seering pain, white hot, lanced through Sam. Jake...Jake had...stabbed him. Things started to blur for him, Dean's face swam before his eyes. Dean was screaming something. He couldn't hear. Anything. Darkness. Sam closed his eyes as the darkness swallowed him.
He opened them again, expecting to see Dean, Bobby, but all he saw was brilliant white light, almost blinding. A hospital...? He grunted, sat up.
"Turn that damn thing off, docs. I'm fine. I just need to, be able to see."
"No luck there, buddy. Can't turn off the lights in Heaven."
Sam looked around for the source of the extremely unusual voice. A voice that felt like it should have deafened him, but had no effect whatsoever and sounded almost human.
"Yeah, you're dead. Thats why your brain isn't bleeding out your ears."
Sam shielded his eyes with a hand, tried to find the source of the voice. "Who are you? What are you? Where am I?"
"I already told you. Don't you fuckin' listen? You're in Heaven. You're DEAD! That jackass Jake shiv-ed your ass."
"Why...why would I go to Heaven? And what are you?"
"Why wouldn't you go to Heaven? You said it yourself, Sammy...you've always been a good boy. So, why wouldn't you go to Heaven?"
Sam would have had a headache if he weren't dead. "But...I'm supposed to be some kind of demon king or something. I was fed demon blood. I'm...if anything, I'm supposed to be in Hell. I think I'm hallucinating."
"If you were hallucinating, don't you think you would at least hallucinate something interesting? Really, this is so BORING! Its just like a goddamn endless plane of nothingness."
"So this...is Heaven? If this is Heaven, I'm thinking Hell might be a Hell, no pun intended, of a lot more interesting."
The voice sounded very irritable now. "No, stupid. You aren't in the Heaven part of Heaven. You're in the limbo area, or whatever. How the shit should I know?"
Sam rolled his eyes. "Because YOU are here TOO? Are you just another dead soul stuck in limbo too?"
The voice laughed. "No, Sammy. Actually, I'm an archangel."
Sam snorted in disbelief. "No. No way. I mean, I believe in angels and stuff, but...you're sitting here swearing up a shit storm and insulting me. You're no angel. Especially not an archangel. Heaven's most powerful force of good? I don't think so."
A heaving sigh. "You don't know a whole lot about angels, do you? REAL angels? Well, I guess I can't blame you, since you haven't met one. Well, at least not that YOU know." Laughter.
"What the hell does that mean?" Sam wanted to throttle the 'angel' that was talking to him. It didn't seem able to give a straight answer.
"Put aside all your notions of angels as pretty boys in white nighties playing a harp and sitting on clouds all day, buddy. We're Heaven's most fearsome warriors. We're not playthings. At least, not unless we choose to be...which actually kind of...confuses me. I WAS on Earth, perfectly happy, enjoying myself kind of thing...then all of sudden I'm back in boringland? What the fuck?"
"I'm as confused as you, mister archangel. So you left Heaven? Who are you, then? Lucifer, the fallen angel?"
"I think not. Don't get me confused with that dick. Sure, he's my brother and I love him, but it doesn't make him any less of a huge dick. I just...left. I got tired of watching my three brothers fight all the time, and left."
Part of that sounded...familiar. Like Sam had heard it before. Something about this 'angel' was familiar too. If he'd been thinking straight, he might have figured it out, but as it was, he couldn't think hardly at all. Just ask, apparently stupid, in the angel's opinion, questions.
"So you stopped being a warrior of God to play with humans? And then you...get sucked back here, by what, exactly?"
Shimmering lights finally materialized in front of Sam. No physical form, but at least it was something. The angel was just as confused as Sam, it seemed. "I don't know, Sammy. I don't know why. I...guess its because of you."
"What do you mean, because of me? You sound like Yellow Eyes. Like I have some important destiny. So important that an archangel would come out of hiding from his brothers just to chat me up?"
The shimmering lights seemed irritated. "You do have an important destiny. Azazel, thats what his name is, you know, was right. We would prefer it didn't happen. That is, the GOOD angels. Some dickheads WANT it to happen."
Sam sighed. He was so frustrated, with being dead, stuck in limbo with a snarky, swearing archangel who could do nothing but insult him...
"Want WHAT TO HAPPEN? Yellow eyes said something about something important having to do with me too."
"Never you mind, boy. You won't be up here for long. Why the hell do you think you're in the limbo part of Heaven, not the, uh, Heaven part of Heaven?"
"What is the Heaven part of Heaven, exactly?"
"Well, I can't tell you that. I just want to get the fuck out of here as much as you do. Stop sobbing, its not like we won't meet again. I want to get out of here before Mike or Raffy senses I'm back in Heaven...they'll try and draw me into their shallow social circles again..."
Sam rolled his eyes. If anything, he wanted to get AWAY from the angel, not see it again. "So bring me back to life. If I'm...dead, resurrect me."
"No can do, pal. As much as I would love to, its...not an option thats on the table right now."
"So, what? I just stay in limbo with a sarcastic, snarky archangel who is just as confused as I am? Yeah, thats an eternity I want to have."
The angel was annoyed. "You're not stuck here, dickhead. You're not going to stay dead. Hell, I'm not even sure you'll REMEMBER this place. Or...me."
Sam raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? How will I come back from the dead? This isn't some zombie movie. And who is 'me'? Who are you? Which archangel?"
The shimmering lights faded a bit, then reappeared. "I can't tell you that. Not yet, Sammy. Lets just say...hmm...we've met before. You don't have any idea, of course, but we have. I'm not ready to give you up yet, Sammy. I'm glad your brother is such a fuckin dumbass."
Sam lunged at the lights, intent on SOMEHOW throttling the archangel. His hands passed through the angel's manifestation, something white hot lanced his hands, but not in a painful way, just an...odd way. As if he were touching the opposite of a ghost. Not ice cold as his hands passed through something incorporeal, but...warm, soothing...
"Stop insulting my brother. Dean...Dean is probably going crazy with worry right now. I need to get back to him. I need to be un-dead right about now. Bring me back, damn you!"
The angel seemed to sigh. "I've already told you. I. CANT."
Sam snarled. "Can't? Or won't?"
The angel smirked, or at least thats what it felt like it was doing to Sam. "Won't. Because this isn't my problem. Its Dean's."
"What do you mean? Is he going to do something stupid?"
The angel laughed. "Sure. Right now, he's eating a cheeseburger with extra onions. Thats pretty damn stupid if you ask me. I HATE onions."
Sam was frustrated beyond belief. He really didn't want to be trapped in limbo with a dick angel for eternity. "I mean, dickhead, is Dean going to do something stupid to try and...bring me back to life."
"Of course he is. You know Dean. He's stupid! He'll do the dumbest shit ever to bring you back to life! But at what cost? Thats for you to find out, Sammy."
"Send. Me. Back. You. DICK WITH WINGS! If I had a gun, I swear to God I would SHOOT you."
The angel seemed thoughtful. "I don't think you would. Not at all. And besides, daddy wouldn't like it if you shot his son."
"Daddy? As in, God?" Sam looked at the angel in bewilderment. He'd...always had faith...always...but never heard or seen such PROOF.
"Well, okay, I lied. Daddy is gone. I have no idea where. I don't care. Sure, I love my poppa, but hey, he wants to hang out with the humans too, I guess. Can't say I blame him. Watching his kiddies fight constantly? Same thing that led ME to get the hell out of dodge. Couldn't stand watching my bros fight each other all the damn time. But yes, God is my daddy. He's the daddy of all angels. But you should know that, since you're oh-so-faithful." The angel seemed to sneer at this.
Sam felt something odd. "What...? Mister archangel? Whats happening?"
The archangel seemed just as confused. "Well, well...Dean's already done his stupid thing. I didn't want to leave you so soon, but I guess I'm gonna have to." The archangel sighed. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I can't let you remember this. Rules of Heaven and all. Sure I left, sure I just sorta gave up my identity as an archangel, but...I just can't let you remember. Maybe...when we meet again...you'll remember. But not now."
The archangel sounded almost sad. As if he didn't want Sam to leave. "See ya later, buddy. It seems as long as you get revived, I can go back and play with the humans too. No leash around my neck tying me to this place anymore. Great. Well...goodbye for now, Sammy Winchester. I...nevermind."
There was a brush against Sam's lips, like some sort of kiss.
Sam woke with a start. He was laying on some bed...Dean came through the door, ran over and hugged him. So tight he couldn't breathe.
"Dean...Dean! Can't breathe!" Dean let go.
"I uh, sorry. Just glad to have you back in the land of the living. You were, uh, really wounded."
Sam shook his head in confusion. It seemed like he had been out of it for a really long time, but he couldn't remember a thing. There was some...white light...a voice...and then, he woke up here. Hallucinating. Dreaming. Sam looked at Dean again. He looked as if he were about to cry.
Oh, Dean. What did you do? He moaned silently to himself. Wounded, my ass.