Two Moments Collide by Castlefan6

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the interrogation of Bobby when Rick learns of Kate's lie. I hated the episode with Slaughter and was not so much a fan of the Limey. I think Rick was painted as a jilted Youth, rather than the mature man, who had survived infidelity, and differences with two wives, as well as desertion from Kyra. The story starts at the Interrogation room under Previously

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 1

Previously

I swear I don't remember!

"The hell you don't remember! Do you wanna know trauma? I was shot in the chest, and I remember every second of it! And so, do you."

"All this time... you remembered?"

Rick is numb as he makes his way from observation, taking care that he doesn't run into Kate on the way.

"Yo, Castle, you headed out?" Espo yells across a few desks.

"Yeah, got something I gotta take care of", as he points to his phone as if he had received a text

"Catch you later, Bro" he hears as he takes the stairs down to the fresh air, breathing deep, fighting the sick feeling that was rising from the pit of his stomach, he begins to walk. The direction didn't matter, nor did the pace or distance, he needed the solitude to think, WHY would she lie?

There had to be a good reason, they had been getting so close in the last several weeks, even before the interrogations, now it seemed like the universe was in perfect alignment to allow those two moments to collide, and leave the broken heart of one to fight for survival. Sometimes the universe was cruel even to its biggest supporter, Richard Castle.

Rick had walked for over an hour and found himself at the Public library, one of his favorite places even as a young boy. He often sought refuge there, where he could be anything he wanted to be, just simply by reading a book. It took away the pangs of being taunted for his lack of athletic abilities, or his now "famously fatherless" status, it wasn't as easy to just sluff off as a boy.

Pulling out a yellow pad from his backpack, following a procedure he had always done in evaluating a problem he sat and listed all the reasons Kate could have been justified in lying to him, the one that stuck out, in fact hurt the worse was she was trying to be kind to him and not hurt him because she didn't feel the same. The three months away at her Dad's cabin without a call, if that wasn't a hint, Rick did she need to hire skywriters to write the message in big letters in the sky.

She said she broke up with Josh, but she didn't say when, and like the puppy that always followed her, you never asked Rick. Where is your pride, do you have any semblance of it left? Would she have come to the book signing if she had not needed the file you had? The talk on the swings, more subtext that was supposed to mean what, Wait till I am ready, and I'll consider you Castle?

It was all adding up to a big misunderstanding of the facts, Kate had sent plenty of facts, but he had been so deeply in love with her he was blind to even those hitting him square in the face now, she remembered, all this time, and she couldn't have found one moment in time to tell him thanks but I don't feel the same?

It was going to hurt like hell, and he would need to rely on his mother's acting chops not to show the hurt to Kate, he wouldn't do that, nor would he be unkind. It wasn't her fault she didn't love him, it was his for not picking up on the tells that were everywhere.

No, he would see this case through, the victims needed that, he and Alexis needed closure for those innocent people, then he would need to have a plan. As his thoughts turn to what he could do next, his cell phone chirps with a 9-1-1 text from Alexis, "Dad, Call as SOON as you get this, URGENT"

Rick quickly made his way out and speed dialed his daughter, "Alexis, what's the emergency, where are you, is anyone hurt?"

"Dad, then louder Dad, and then even louder Dad Be Quiet. YOU are the emergency; do you know what time it is? Detective Beckett has called three times, looking for you, and then Gina, Paula no one knew where you were, Where the hell are you? "

"I'm sorry pumpkin, I guess I lost track of time, I'm at the library working on some research, it's only, what how did it get to be 10:30 PM? I'm so sorry Pumpkin I just zoned out, I'll be home if just a few minutes, Love ya Bye"

He hails a cab and wonders where the last 10 hours has gone, he left the precinct at 12:30, after leaving a coffee on Beckett's desk. As he enters the loft he is faced with the stares of not only two very pissed off red heads, but also the glare from Beckett. Alexis can't hold the glare and flies into his arms.

"I'm sorry, I worried everyone, my cell was off at the library and it only vibrated when you tagged the text 9-1-1 Alexis, I was zoned out doing research for the next book"

"Dad, you had everyone worried half to death, Detective Beckett had a squad car out patrolling for you, are you sure you're OK?"

"Yeah pumpkin, I'm fine, you know how I get when I'm in the zone, I didn't mean to worry anyone"

"Richard that was very irresponsible of you, this city, and family has had enough drama the last few days to last us a lifetime, we were worried."

"Mother I said I was sorry, what else can I say, "

Well, Alexis and I will leave you and Katherine to talk, she was also very worried, she has enough of a load to carry without you adding to it"

"You're certainly right mother, Good Night"

"Ok Rick, it's just us now, what the hell is going on? Javi said he saw you at the station for a few minutes, then you told him you had something to do and left, we were worried, I was worried, I know this case has hit us all hard."

"You're right Kate, it was the case, I just can't stop thinking about all the tomorrows they will never have, and wonder if any of them could do it over, would they do anything different?"

"Would you Rick?"

"Would I do what Kate?"

"Do anything different, I mean if you got a chance to do over any part of your life, would you?"

"Yes, I'm sure there are a few moments I would love a do over, but all in all, everything that I've ever done, Every Choice I've ever made, every good and terrible thing that has ever happened to me has led me to this moment with my family and you. "

"What about you Kate, would you change anything if you could."

"Well, yes I would, my shooting**"

"I'm sorry Kate that was so insensitive of me to ask, I'm sorry," he interrupts

"Rick, would you shut up now? "

"I'm sorry Kate, please continue"

"I was going to say my shooting not the actual event but the lie I told to the man I love when I was in the hospital, I Remember it all, every second. I did hear every word and that love kept me going so many days when I didn't think I had the strength to go on. I'm just hoping that the lie, hasn't caused him to want that part of his life as a do over" she says with tears chocking her voice looking at the floor and shyly stealing a peak at him.

"Kate, why, and why now?

"When I came out of interrogation with Bobby, and saw a coffee on my desk, I knew you were there, it's your I love You and has been for years, and I looked for you to find you to continue our conversation,

"Javi told me you were in observation but must have gotten a text since you left taking the stairs, It didn't take a detective to figure out that you had heard me tell the suspect that I remembered everything,

Rick you have to believe me I'm so sorry you found out that way, I never intended to let it go that long, but I was a coward"

"Do you have any idea of how much that hurt Kate, to hear you tell some petty thief words I have waited to hear for years, the only reason I could come up with, is that you didn't feel the same, but didn't want to hurt me and couldn't find a way to let me down easy." Rick's tone scared Kate, no emotion no hatred, nothing, and now she was worried

Rick, you're wrong, so wrong, I love you, I've loved you since before we almost died locked in the freezer."

"If that were true Kate, why stay with Josh, knowing what it was doing to me, was I the backup plan?" "Why go away for 3 months Kate, three fucking months where I watched for a bubble for one your texts or slept with the phone by the pillow just to hear your ringtone, all the while thinking it was Josh who was with you?

Kate, I'm in love with you, I can't hide that, but I'm not sure that is enough, you've always had to have one foot out the door.

I can't enter into anything that is less than 100%, and I know that's not fair to you, not now, but I'm sorry my heart has been crushed by every female I ever cared about except Mother and Alexis."

Kate is quietly weeping, knowing this lie is going to take more than a simple I'm sorry, I heard you and I didn't want to crush your heart but I wasn't ready, What the hell were you thinking Kate, he has every right to throw you out on your ass and never speak to you again.

Then he speaks again, in that same tone, no emotion, no anger, no hurt, "When Kate?"

"I'm sorry Rick, When what?"

"When did you break up with Josh, and what did you tell him?"

"I wanted to tell him the day I saw you to call you back to come and see me, but he didn't make rounds till the next afternoon, I told him the truth, that it was a mistake to even start with him when my heart was already taken.

I didn't mention you, I didn't have to, he told me to let Castle love you, because God knows I tried and no matter what Rick was always there in your heart, he was right you know?"

"Was he Kate? Because I don't know, God help me I want to believe you so badly, but I have already been through hell, Kate you had almost a year to find some time to tell me, write me or hell even text me, but you kept that moment in time sealed.

I couldn't get the site of me kissing your cold lips telling you that I loved you, I love you Kate, as your eyes went dark, the ambulance ride, Lanie performing CPR, all the crying and your Dad, your poor Dad.

I know you have had dreams, do you know what it's like to have your teen age daughter hold you and comfort you out of a nightmares for weeks at a time, to hide the liquor because she saw me following all to common a path, and to stand up to me, and force me into therapy, finally?"

"I know you were healing Kate, but so were your friends, all of us, who would have done anything just to know that you were all right. You went through Hell, both physically and mentally, but you didn't make that trip by yourself", finally Ricks emotions break, and he cries for perhaps the 3rd time since he became a man.

Kate guides him to the couch, and holds him in her arms, gently rocking, saying over and over, "Rick, I'm sorry, so sorry, forgive me, I do love you, you have to believe me, please. Rick's body continues to sob, finally Kate gets him to lie down as she holds him, that's how Alexis found them both an hour later, and gently covered them both with the throw and gently placed both heads on one shared pillow looking directly at each other.

A/N This is a good place to stop, I'm not exactly sure where this one is heading, I do know that the series downplayed the emotional toll of all, both from the bombing, as well as Rick and Kate's personal battle. I didn't want to drag out the suspense of how he found out, this story is about how do we make amends especially to those we love the most. I am not bashing Kate, and hopefully I can portray both characters faults, and strengths. Updates may be slower as I figure this out, then write and re-write so bear with me, Thanks, Tim

Once again, this was strictly my mind's vision of how the ending of this episode could have impacted our couple. Rick was hurt, Kate was hiding insecurities she felt even before her Mother's death, and that event served as her crutch, and excuse to