Spam I Am

by Mary Sue Granny

Based on Dr. Seuss's book "Green Eggs and Ham." Collaboration with Lysana. Do YOU like reading email Spam? If not, then check out this fic! It will give you a well-deserved laugh for those days when Spammers just won't leave you alone whatever you do. :D

I got Spam!
Spam I got!

That Spam I got!
That Spam I got!
I do not like that Spam I got!

Do you like email Spam?

I do not like it, Sir or Ma'am,
I do not like email Spam!

Would you like Spam here or there?

I would not like Spam here or there!
I would not like it anywhere.

I do not like email Spam.
I do not like it, Sir or Ma'am.

Would you like it in your house?
Would you like it by clicking your mouse?

I do not like it in my house.
I do not like it by clicking my mouse.

I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.

I do not like email Spam.
I do not like it, Sir or Ma'am.

Would you like it in your inbox?
Would you like it when ICQ knocks?

Not in my inbox
Not when ICQ knocks
Not in my house
Not with my mouse

I would not like it here or there
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like email Spam.
I do not like it, Sir or Ma'am.

Would you? Could you?
On your laptop in your car?
Read them! Read them!
Here they are.

I would not,
Could not,
In my car.

You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
I might send you three!

I would not, could not
Not one or three.
Not in my car!
You let me be.

I do not like it in my inbox.
I do not like it when ICQ knocks.
I do not like it in my house.
I do not like it clicking my mouse.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not email Spam.
I do not like it, Sir or Ma'am.

A chain letter, a chain letter,
A chain letter, a chain letter,
Could you, would you,
Read a chain letter?

Not a chain! Don't send me three!
Not in my car, Spam! Let me be!

I would not, could not, in my inbox.
I could not, would not, when ICQ knocks.
I will not read it with my mouse.
I will not read it in my house.
I will not read it here or there.
I will not read it anywhere.
I do not read email Spam.
I do not like it, Sir or Ma'am.

Say, as a lark?
Here as a lark?
Would you, could you as a lark?

I would not, could not,
As a lark.

Would you, could you
On the Web?

I would not, could not, on the Web.
Not as a lark. Not in a chain.
Not in my car, not one or three.
I do not like it, Sir, you see.
Not in my house, not in my inbox.
Not with my mouse, not when ICQ knocks.
I will not read it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere!

Do you like email Spam?

I do not like it, Sir or Ma'am.

Could you, would you with a virus?
I would not, could not, with a virus!

Would you, could you on a mailing list?
I could not, would not, on a mailing list.
I will not, will not, with a virus.
I will not read it on the Web.
I will not read it in a chain.
Not as a lark. Not one or three.
Not in my car. You let me be!
I do not like it in my inbox.
I do not like it when ICQ knocks.
I will not read it in my house.
I do not like it with my mouse.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere!

I do not like email Spam!

I do not like it, Sir or Ma'am.

Do you like it? Will you say?
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try it and you may, I say.

Spam! If you don't let me be,
I will report you.
You will see.

Say!
I like reporting email Spam!
I do, I like it, Sir or Ma'am.
And I would report it from a mailing list...
And I would report it from a virus...

And I will report it on the Web.
And as a lark. And in a chain.
And in my car. And if you send one or three.
Reporting is so good, so good, you see!

So I will report it in my inbox.
And I will report it when ICQ knocks.
And I will report it from my house.
And I will report it with my mouse.
And I will report from here or there.
Say! I will report it from anywhere!

I do so like reporting email Spam!
Thank you, thank you,
Sir or Ma'am!