Fever
Summary: She thinks she saw Ace die right before her eyes and finds herself unable to do a single thing to stop it from happening.
Warning: Angst imminent.
"I love you, Ace," I muttered, the simple yet powerful words generating a storm of emotions within my small body. My knuckles turned white as I clutched the red, shining beads close to my heart. Painful tears welled in my eyes, spilling over my rosy cheeks and staining the white cloth beneath me, stirring and fading the inky blood stains. Gently, strong hands cupped my cheeks, my tears being wiped away with the pads of two thumbs. I wrenched my eyes open, staring through my foggy gaze at the blurry face before me.
"Why are you crying? It's a good thing…" the face asked, panic in its voice. One of the hands slipped down to the hand I had clasped around the string of beads, giving it a squeeze. I arched my back, my body wracking with sobs as my emotions pounded through my frightened mind. He was gone, having disappeared into the oblivion of the void – a place no one can return from through holy means. At that realisation, my heart gained the sensation of being crushed; shattered by the pain that stabbed through it like a million needles.
"Somehow," started the voice again as the warmth of the hands left my cold, trembling body. "I don't think we're on the same page here." I could barely hear the voice – the screams and gurgled agony pounding in my ears was deafening. I couldn't do a thing; I couldn't do a single damn thing to prevent this from happening – to prevent the man I loved from being obliterated. I could no longer see the face in front of me; my vision was focused entirely on the gaping wound in his chest and the tears that streamed down his dirty face as thickly as mine.
The cacophony of war around me fell silent as he spoke his final words, words that prompted me to let out a scream of anguish and wrap my arms around my body. The beads I was holding fell to the ground with a clatter, scattering the orbs in every which way. This couldn't be happening; I wouldn't let myself believe it. I wanted to do something, anything, but I knew it was all in vain. It was too late.
"Thank you for loving me."
His body slipped from the arms of his bawling brother, falling slowly to the bloody earth, as if time had slowed down in the wake of his passing. I reached out to him, feebly, my arm shaking as if trying to shoulder the burden the weight of the world. He was so close to me, yet my fingers did not reach him, could not stroke his raven hair for the final time or feel the touch of his warm skin.
"Don't leave me," I uttered through my sobs. I had been with him for many years now, ever since he dared set out upon the seas in search of infamy. I offered my life to him, my dignity, my strength – everything. I needed none of myself anymore, not when I had him. He never knew of my true feelings; of this intense, almost tangible passion, respect and love I had developed for him. He had so much life to live, so many things he had yet to accomplish - so many things.
"Oi," called the familiar voice again, angrily as heavy weights were pressed on my shoulders, tugging me back and forth. "I'm right here! What the hell is wrong with you?" The voice passed again as easily as a daydream conjured on a warm, sunny afternoon.
Why must the world be so brutal? He had done nothing to deserve this, nothing to deserve the endless nothingness of the void. He was a good man, no, a great man. He was the kind of person who would recklessly endanger his life for others and never throw in the towel when things got too tough. He got tougher, that was how he dealt with it. Why must the government seek the death of such an honourable, young man? He did nothing serious to chide them – I would know. I bet they sought him on a whim, driven by lingering hatred of the Pirate King. They knew nothing of his plight, nothing of who he truly is.
"Why?" I sobbed as my arm fell limp, unable to support the strength needed to reach out to him. I swayed back and forth still, as the screams and terror around me reinstated itself, as if it had only died down momentarily to allow the man to speak his final words. Everything seemed to fade around me, everything but the echoing of my sobs and the white veil of blankness that hung in front of my eyes. I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me, drawing me into a muscular, warm body. As if upon instinct, I buried my face into their bare chest, balling my hands into fists on each side of my face.
"Relax, you know I'm here," the voice spoke, this time clearly, cutting through the sound of my sorrow. I had no clue what was happening now but things felt more tangible somehow. There was the cushioning of a mattress below me, a faint stinging in my arm, the warmth of a body and the ragged breaths tearing from my throat. A hand was entangled in my hair, patting me gingerly. I pressed my hands against someone's chest as I pulled my stinging eyes open. My sobs ceased in intensity, my body becoming still, as if paralysed. I cried in silence for a time, not thinking about anything, or feeling anything at all as if I had overloaded the data banks of my mind.
"Look at me," said the voice, the one I now identified as coming from the man who had embraced me. He shifted me gently, cupping my cheek and tilting my head up towards him. My eyes brimmed with more tears as the familiar features of the man I loved focused in my vision. It couldn't be him; he was dead, lost in the void for all eternity. Ace's expression was serious though I could identify the flicker of confusion and deep worry in his dark brown eyes.
Everything seemed to fall into place all at once, the fog that clouded my mind fading and allowing the gears of thought to grind once more. The corners of my mouth twitched into a meek smile at the realisation that it had all been a dream – an illusion conjured by my feverish mind. I tilted my head down, resting my ear on his chest, searching for his heartbeat. I found it with ease, closing my eyes as I listening to its rhythmic throbbing.
"See, I'm fine," he soothed, his hand rubbing my back. "Like hell I would leave you. I'm not that weak, you dolt." He was here; my mind was not deceiving me this time. Slowly, the memories came together. That's right, I was bitten on the arm by a poisonous spider – one that lead to fever and hallucinations. The nurses told me to rest after injecting me with an antidote and Ace took me to my room where I promptly fell into a restless slumber. I must have had some sort of nightmare and woke up confused as to what was happening to me. Despite having just experienced it, once I tried to touch upon the memory of it, my mind drew blanks. I was glad I couldn't remember it now – I was just happy to be in Ace's arms.
He was alive and well – something that relieved my mind and my soul beyond description. The man I lived for was still with me, by my side, just like always. And I aimed to keep things that way.