Chapter 1
With a flourish and a faint crackle, the rolling wave of snow came to a stop, and disappeared. Elsa landed on her feet, with an inaudible crunch. Sven and the sled hit the ground less gracefully, the thump muffled by an unprincess-like grunt as Anna jerked awake, knocking off Olaf's nose.
"We're here! C'mon Olaf and Kristoff, race ya to the top!" Anna vaulted out of the sled, and half-stumbled, half-ran after her sister, Olaf hot on her heels. Kristoff groaned inside, because the Ice Palace was so close, and he would love to race inside, but someone had to tend to Sven, and check the sled, and pick up Olaf's nose, and bring their precious cargo inside, and generally be responsible. Still, he had a smile on his face, because even from down here the view of the ice was magnificent.
An even bigger smile was on the face of the Snow Queen as she ran up the stairs to her waiting snow children. Anna and Olaf caught up just in time to launch themselves into the Big Hug of Family. Once finished with his duties, Kristoff approached with some trepidation, carrot in hand, but Marshmallow pulled him in without comment. Kristoff had to admit, being hugged by snow wasn't too bad… in fact, it was warm and welcoming, like being hugged by arms of stone. Still, he remembered to reattach Olaf's nose. Like he said, someone had to be responsible.
When the hug abated, the snowgies rushed back inside, Olaf following as he told them all about life down below and the various adventures that had occurred, it was so amazing, you wouldn't believe it! Marshmallow instead remained with his Mama and Auntie and Reindeer Man, not very subtly standing guard. From what or whom, he did not care – what mattered was that Mama was safe, that he would be there for her, and she never had to cry again.
Of course, he would also protect Auntie (her name was Anna, not Very Bad Girl Who Makes Mama Cry, as he first assumed) and Reindeer Man (Big Brother called him Sven), because they were Good People and Family, not Bad People. Bad People were like Weasel Face and Sideburns Man, out to hurt, not love. He liked Love. Love made you feel Warm and Happy inside, like how Auntie was rubbing his belly right now, or how Mama was fussing over his tiara so that he was "as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside!"
Marshmallow beamed. He always felt Love when he was with Family.
His train of thought was interrupted when Anna kicked open the palace doors, screamed "AHA!" and jumped aside, just in time. There was a click, a gentle rumble, and a soft splat as a mountain of snow landed where she would have been. Anyone caught in it would have been buried up to their necks, looking utterly ridiculous.
The snowgies burst out of hiding to see who they had caught in their prank, only to see Anna doing an impromptu victory dance, with Elsa smiling and cleaning up the snow behind her.
"HA! No one can out-prank the Prank Master! In! Your! Fa-"
A snowball smacked into Anna's face, and her victory dance turned into a Falling-Over-While-Screaming-And-Flailing Dance. Elsa burst into giggles and helped her up, Kristoff's face was bright red with the effort of not laughing and the snowgies jumped up and down around Olaf in exuberance: Plan B had worked! Olaf had saved the day.
Once Anna had recovered some semblance of dignity, and admitted "All right, you got me good.", Elsa announced the purpose of their visit: Storytime! With a wave of her hand and a light crackle, she materialised an ice chair. Anna meanwhile pulled out the books with a flourish (and a quick kiss for Kristoff, who had remembered to carry them up, he was so responsible, that hunk), and handed them off. Elsa seated herself in the chair, as the storyteller. Besides her, Anna plopped her butt on the floor and Kristoff sat down, as her assistants for today. Everyone else sat in a circle.
When everyone had settled down, Elsa displayed the storybook. Green and purple, with a prominent picture of a cow, it was titled "Where's My Cow?" in large, white letters. She passed it around so everyone could have a good look, and so Olaf could explain what a cow was (I saw one down below, they're big and black and white, except when they're big and brown, and Anna says they can produce milk, although she never said how…)
Elsa stifled a giggle while Anna panicked for a moment, but Olaf was too busy talking about the big steaming brown things he saw around the cows to ask about lactation and the female anatomy. When the book returned to Elsa, she opened it up, and The Story began.
It went:
"Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?"
Elsa flicked her hands, and ice formed a perfect replica of the cow silhouette shown by the book.
"It goes,-"
Elsa gently nudged Anna. Anna went:
"-Baa!"
It sounded exactly like a small child enthusiastically imitating a sheep. In her earlier days, this had been her – their – favourite storybook. Elsa gestured, and the silhouette resolved into a sheep, with a rabbit in front of it.
"It is a sheep!
That's not my cow!"
There were gasps of surprise from the snow-children, an especially exaggerated gasp from Anna, and silence from Kristoff, who instead got elbowed in the gut by Anna. Elsa didn't let that distract her, and focused on the story.
"Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?"
The ice reformed into another cow silhouette.
"It goes,-"
There were a few moments of increasingly awkward silence before Kristoff worked out his role.
"-Neigh!"
It sounded like a horse, if the horse had been raised by a loving reindeer family which never had the heart to tell their little Rudolph why he was so unlike all his friends. With a wave of Elsa's hand, the silhouette resolved into a horse with a hat stand in front of it.
"It is a horse!
That's not my cow!"
Again there were the gasps, though Kristoff made sure to gasp the loudest – Anna could put a lot of force behind even a quick elbow jab.
"Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?"
Everyone saw a cow silhouette yet again.
"It goes,-"
Anna leapt at the chance.
"-HRUUUGH!"
There was a moment of silence as everyone stared at Anna. Anna went bright red.
Elsa discreetly coughed, and the moment was over.
"It is a hippopotamus!
That's not my cow!"
The silhouette was revealed as a hippopotamus, eating at a trough, against which was an upturned pitchfork. Again came the gasps, fake and real.
And so on it went.
"Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes, "Oink, oink!"
It is a pig!
That's not my cow!
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes, "Cluck!"
It is a chicken!
That's not my cow!"
The story continued, through all the usual suspects. There was a goat, behind a fencepost; a duck, perched on another horse (Anna considered this cheating, but kept quiet); a dog, on its dog house, and so on. Much to Kristoff's disappointment, there was no reindeer. Eventually though, there was the Cow.
"Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes, "Moooo!"
Yes! That's my cow!
Hooray, hooray, it's a wonderful day, for I have found my cow!"
The final image resolved into a cow, being led home by its unnamed owner. To cheers and applause, Elsa closed the book, smiled at her assistants, and pulled up the next storybook. This one was much simpler, with no pictures, just a green jacket with the words, "Why the Sea is Salt". Elsa turned to the first page.
"Once upon a time, there were two brothers: one rich and one poor."
Ice formed into two men, one fat and in fine clothes, the other thin and in rags.
"One Christmas Eve, the poor brother had not a crumb in his house, not a single thing to eat, so he went to his brother to beg for a Christmas gift…"