Rand and the Three Gray Men
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Wheel of Time. Any characters being abused and tormented are Robert Jordan's. I will return them when I feel they have suffered enough. Hehehehe. Maybe I'll make them play the drinking game with me. ~Insert insane laughter~
~Whooooohoooooooo~ a pop weasel's war cry
Right, now that we have that done.....ONWARD!!!!!
(Oh yeah, I'm taking literary license here. Have fear.)
--Somewhere where Demandred is--
Demandred had a idea.
It was one of those spur of the moment-I-gotta-have-a-plan-because-my- boss-the-Dark One-is-breathing-down-my-neck-because-I-have-not-killed-the- Dragon-Reborn-yet idea. But it was still a idea.
He needed a few Gray Men to pull this idea off, so he put in a call to the Bore and asked for their best--which meant their cheapest-Souless assassin.
Unfortunately, due to a increased need for the Souless and budget cuts in the Blight, all that could be spared were three of the best-which meant cheapest-Gray Men, who were transported to Demandred by a gateway.
The apparent leader of the trio listened very carefully to the Forsaken as he laid out his idea, which was so simple that a three day old Trolloc with half a brain could understand (as long as it *looked* like he was doing something useful, the Dark One would keep off his back) and perhaps with a little assistance, complete it.
Demandred wasn't holding onto hope as he watched the Gray Men leave, but since it was technically work, he could write it off on his taxes.
Bonus, he thought happily and proceded to kick back in a chair formed from Air and watch the big game in which the Seanchan Serpents played the Tanchico Tigers in the playoffs.
Perhaps he'd call Moridin up later, just to rub it in.
* * * *
Rand al'Thor lounged on the Sun Throne, looking studly as ever and reading one of Min's books, when a knock on the throne room doors sounded.
"If it's more Aes Sedai wishing to grovel at my feet, put them with the others." he ordered, not bothering to look up.
"Housekeeping."
Rand's eyebrows came up as he mouthed the words "housekeeping" in confusion.
"Say what?" he asked, swinging his feet down off the throne's armrest and folding a page over in the book to mark his place.
"Housekeeping."
The Dragon Reborn looked at the door suspiciously and stood. "Uhhh, I never called for housekeeping...."
"Housekeeping."
"Got it." Rand said, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. "Come back later."
"Ya wanna pickle?"
"Silence you fool! You'll give us away!"
Rand was now eyeing the doors and stepping towards them very slowly. If this was one of the Maiden's idea of a joke.......
"Knock again, maybe he didn't hear us."
"He heard us, he's just not answering the door."
"Ya wanna pickle?"
"Shut up idiot!" two voices snapped in unision. Rand tapped on the door gingerly. "What do you want?"
"Oh! Oh! He heard us! He heard us! Good good, what next?"
"Get him to open the door."
A moment later: "Housekeeping."
"Give me a break." Rand muttered and stalked back to the Sun Throne, picking up where he left off in the book. He was a good five pages farther into it when the knock sounded again.
"Go away."
"Housekeeping."
"Now."
"Housekeeping."
Rand decided then that if he was ever going to get this book finished in this reincarnation, he was going to have to tell these idiots to hit the road in person. He strode over to the doors and flung them open, preparing to give them a Unfolding The Fan enema.
"What?" he snarled to the three nondescript men outside his door.
"Ya wanna pickle?" the shortest of the trio asked.
"SULIN!!!" Rand roared. Before her whole name was shouted, the Maiden appeared around the corner with about twenty other Maidens right behind her.
"What?" she asked, eyeing the trio of men evilly.
"Show them the way out. The hard way." The Dragon Reborn ordered and returned to his throne and his book, not present to watch the Three Gray Housekeepers being tossed from the third story of the Sun Palace.
Pop Weasel: Right, that was more of a prelude to the rest, just to get it going. It has no plot other than what is presented, so don't hold onto hope. Oh yeah, and the Tigers beat the Serpents at a score of 67-38. GO TIGERS!!!!!!
Stay turned for more madness.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Wheel of Time. Any characters being abused and tormented are Robert Jordan's. I will return them when I feel they have suffered enough. Hehehehe. Maybe I'll make them play the drinking game with me. ~Insert insane laughter~
~Whooooohoooooooo~ a pop weasel's war cry
Right, now that we have that done.....ONWARD!!!!!
(Oh yeah, I'm taking literary license here. Have fear.)
--Somewhere where Demandred is--
Demandred had a idea.
It was one of those spur of the moment-I-gotta-have-a-plan-because-my- boss-the-Dark One-is-breathing-down-my-neck-because-I-have-not-killed-the- Dragon-Reborn-yet idea. But it was still a idea.
He needed a few Gray Men to pull this idea off, so he put in a call to the Bore and asked for their best--which meant their cheapest-Souless assassin.
Unfortunately, due to a increased need for the Souless and budget cuts in the Blight, all that could be spared were three of the best-which meant cheapest-Gray Men, who were transported to Demandred by a gateway.
The apparent leader of the trio listened very carefully to the Forsaken as he laid out his idea, which was so simple that a three day old Trolloc with half a brain could understand (as long as it *looked* like he was doing something useful, the Dark One would keep off his back) and perhaps with a little assistance, complete it.
Demandred wasn't holding onto hope as he watched the Gray Men leave, but since it was technically work, he could write it off on his taxes.
Bonus, he thought happily and proceded to kick back in a chair formed from Air and watch the big game in which the Seanchan Serpents played the Tanchico Tigers in the playoffs.
Perhaps he'd call Moridin up later, just to rub it in.
* * * *
Rand al'Thor lounged on the Sun Throne, looking studly as ever and reading one of Min's books, when a knock on the throne room doors sounded.
"If it's more Aes Sedai wishing to grovel at my feet, put them with the others." he ordered, not bothering to look up.
"Housekeeping."
Rand's eyebrows came up as he mouthed the words "housekeeping" in confusion.
"Say what?" he asked, swinging his feet down off the throne's armrest and folding a page over in the book to mark his place.
"Housekeeping."
The Dragon Reborn looked at the door suspiciously and stood. "Uhhh, I never called for housekeeping...."
"Housekeeping."
"Got it." Rand said, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. "Come back later."
"Ya wanna pickle?"
"Silence you fool! You'll give us away!"
Rand was now eyeing the doors and stepping towards them very slowly. If this was one of the Maiden's idea of a joke.......
"Knock again, maybe he didn't hear us."
"He heard us, he's just not answering the door."
"Ya wanna pickle?"
"Shut up idiot!" two voices snapped in unision. Rand tapped on the door gingerly. "What do you want?"
"Oh! Oh! He heard us! He heard us! Good good, what next?"
"Get him to open the door."
A moment later: "Housekeeping."
"Give me a break." Rand muttered and stalked back to the Sun Throne, picking up where he left off in the book. He was a good five pages farther into it when the knock sounded again.
"Go away."
"Housekeeping."
"Now."
"Housekeeping."
Rand decided then that if he was ever going to get this book finished in this reincarnation, he was going to have to tell these idiots to hit the road in person. He strode over to the doors and flung them open, preparing to give them a Unfolding The Fan enema.
"What?" he snarled to the three nondescript men outside his door.
"Ya wanna pickle?" the shortest of the trio asked.
"SULIN!!!" Rand roared. Before her whole name was shouted, the Maiden appeared around the corner with about twenty other Maidens right behind her.
"What?" she asked, eyeing the trio of men evilly.
"Show them the way out. The hard way." The Dragon Reborn ordered and returned to his throne and his book, not present to watch the Three Gray Housekeepers being tossed from the third story of the Sun Palace.
Pop Weasel: Right, that was more of a prelude to the rest, just to get it going. It has no plot other than what is presented, so don't hold onto hope. Oh yeah, and the Tigers beat the Serpents at a score of 67-38. GO TIGERS!!!!!!
Stay turned for more madness.